Let's Hook up Bob the Merc: A Social Experiment

Solid Snake · 09-03-2011, 11:36 PM

So on the NPF chat, I came up with one of my typical brilliant ideas...
...and Bob the Merc actually liked it!

Okay, so here's the deal.
All of us, every single interested party on NPF, is going to hook our beloved Bob the Mercenary up with dates.
(Because we're all sick and tired of hearing Bob talk about how lonely he is and how he traditionally takes even less action than I do to solve that conundrum.)

Our modus operandi is clear: We're going to have collective access to Bob's OKCupid account, and we are going to use the account accordingly. Since Bob doesn't actually want to take the initiative himself (but he apparently feels far more comfortable letting us do so) we'll answer the Personality Test questions for him, write profile answers, post pictures, and send the messages in our spare time.

And then Bob will eventually totally have like sixty trillion dates to go on, and his life will make a complete one-hundred-eighty degree switch, to such an extent that we will all bow down to his stunning ability to seduce every female in the state of New Jersey.

LET'S DO THIS GUYS FOR GREAT JUSTICE

(No, I have no idea what possessed Bob to convince him to agree with this, but yes, I am absolutely committed to making this work for him because Bob is awesome and deserves all the dates. All of them.)

The SSB Intern · 09-03-2011, 11:50 PM

With NPF as your wingman, you'll either end up in bed or in a landfill, guaranteed!

(Shouldn't there be a link or something?)

Solid Snake · 09-03-2011, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The SSB Intern

(Shouldn't there be a link or something?)

Rob's doing initial profile creation stuff, then he'll hand things over.

Jagos · 09-04-2011, 12:00 AM

Just for funsies...

I betcha I could talk to a lady in New Jersey, set up a few dates based on Bob's personality and have them talk to him.

And I'm in Texas.

Bob The Mercenary · 09-04-2011, 12:38 AM

If you want the username and password, leave me a message in "visitor messages" because my inbox is full and I don't feel like going through them all right now. Or get in touch with Snake.

I'd like to keep this somewhere near accurate if possible. You guys all know enough about me, I think, to do some damage. I answered fifty of their questions and imported a few pictures. Other than that it's a clean slate.

Now get me laid! But seriously, if you actually manage to do this...

Gregness · 09-04-2011, 12:47 AM

This can only end in tears.

Toastburner B · 09-04-2011, 12:51 AM

Wait, so are we doing his personality as Bob the Mercenary, or as Bob Dole?

Solid Snake · 09-04-2011, 02:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toastburner B

Wait, so are we doing his personality as Bob the Mercenary, or as Bob Dole?

Bob the Mercenary.
Also Bob: I do apologize for answering a few questions in a way that apparently (much to even my own surprise) contradicted your own prior answers. You may want to review everything I've done once you have a spare moment.

For the most part I think I nailed your ideal responses, except that I'm apparently slightly more liberal than you are and I didn't notice that.
(Also I apparently value honesty more than you do.)

EDIT: Also Rob a few of your brutally honest answers are leading to very high Enemy percentages with eligible ladies.
You need to learn to bend the truth a tad! Everyone on dating websites does it (whether they're supposed to or not.)

EDIT 2: Stopped at 180 questions. (Rob answered the first ~65ish.) Everything afterwards (for the time being) ain't my doin'!

Overcast · 09-04-2011, 02:58 AM

I'm going to ruin this like I ruined every RP I've ever started. Or not, I'm honestly trying to see what we are up to here. I'm not sure if I should take the Krylo offense. It seems workable but contradictory to Bob Dole.

A Zarkin' Frood · 09-04-2011, 03:23 AM

This sounds like the plot of some romantic comedy I'm afraid.
If life only worked like the movies I would've turned out to be the coolest dude ever and suddenly accepted by everyone on prom night.

Uh... good luck, I guess.

09-03-2011, 11:36 PM	#1
Solid Snake Erotic Esquire Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 5,563	Let's Hook up Bob the Merc: A Social Experiment So on the NPF chat, I came up with one of my typical brilliant ideas... ...and Bob the Merc actually liked it! Okay, so here's the deal. All of us, every single interested party on NPF, is going to hook our beloved *Bob the Mercenary* up with dates. (Because we're all sick and tired of hearing Bob talk about how lonely he is and how he traditionally takes even less action than I do to solve that conundrum.) Our modus operandi is clear: We're going to have collective access to Bob's OKCupid account, and we are going to use the account accordingly. Since Bob doesn't actually want to take the initiative himself (but he apparently feels far more comfortable letting us do so) we'll answer the Personality Test questions for him, write profile answers, post pictures, and send the messages in our spare time. And then Bob will eventually totally have like sixty trillion dates to go on, and his life will make a complete one-hundred-eighty degree switch, to such an extent that we will all bow down to his stunning ability to seduce every female in the state of New Jersey. *LET'S DO THIS GUYS FOR GREAT JUSTICE* (No, I have no idea what possessed Bob to convince him to agree with this, but yes, I am absolutely committed to making this work for him because Bob is awesome and deserves all the dates. All of them.) __________________ *WARNING:* Snek's all up in this thread. Be prepared to read massive walls of text.

09-03-2011, 11:50 PM	#2
The SSB Intern We'll have to do this the hard way. Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Behind it all. Posts: 1,009	With NPF as your wingman, you'll either end up in bed or in a landfill, guaranteed! (Shouldn't there be a link or something?) __________________ You know who never sleeps? My gun.

09-04-2011, 12:00 AM	#4
Jagos FRONT KICK OF DOOM! Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Howdy pardner... Posts: 6,399	Just for funsies... I betcha I could talk to a lady in New Jersey, set up a few dates based on Bob's personality and have them talk to him. And I'm in Texas. __________________ Copyright musings World ramblings Scifi stories

09-04-2011, 12:38 AM	#5
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	If you want the username and password, leave me a message in "visitor messages" because my inbox is full and I don't feel like going through them all right now. Or get in touch with Snake. I'd like to keep this somewhere near accurate if possible. You guys all know enough about me, I think, to do some damage. I answered fifty of their questions and imported a few pictures. Other than that it's a clean slate. Now get me laid! But seriously, if you actually manage to do this... __________________ Bob Dole Last edited by Bob The Mercenary; 09-04-2011 at 12:41 AM.

09-04-2011, 12:47 AM	#6
Gregness Never give up. Never give in. Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 1,034	This can only end in tears. __________________ A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects. - Robert Heinlein

09-04-2011, 12:51 AM	#7
Toastburner B Toasty has left the building Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Hiding...because I don't want to die. Posts: 3,936	Wait, so are we doing his personality as Bob the Mercenary, or as Bob Dole? __________________ I came, I saw, I got team-killed. A lot.

09-04-2011, 02:58 AM	#9
Overcast Cinderella Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Trespassing in the graveyard Posts: 3,076	I'm going to ruin this like I ruined every RP I've ever started. Or not, I'm honestly trying to see what we are up to here. I'm not sure if I should take the Krylo offense. It seems workable but contradictory to Bob Dole. __________________ Time to bust out the glow sticks!

09-04-2011, 03:23 AM	#10
A Zarkin' Frood formerly known as Prince. Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Right here, with you >:) Posts: 2,396	This sounds like the plot of some romantic comedy I'm afraid. If life only worked like the movies I would've turned out to be the coolest dude ever and suddenly accepted by everyone on prom night. Uh... good luck, I guess. __________________ >:( C-: