"Who Is The Best Politician" or "If Hitler Invaded Hell"

[Seil]

Matt Smith has begun to grow on me.

Like a rash.

I was re-watching Victory Of The Daleks - the one where the Daleks are color coded iMacs, thank you very much - and the actor who played Churchill, Ian MacNeice, quoted the line:

"If Hitler invaded Hell, I would give a favourable reference to the Devil."

Now, I looked into it, and apparently Churchill did say that in the House Of Commons. God damn was Churchill a quotable bum. While I am very interested in the inner workings of the Third Reich, (probably for the same reasons that I'm interested in serial killers) I'm afraid I don't know much about the politics at the time. But I know what the Germans did, and I've seen some of the alternate history (Indiana Jones, Bioshock, pianos, forests) and I have to say that any man who could lead a country while getting the crap bombed out've it has got my vote.

It's this episode that caused me to read up on Winston, and because everyone seems to have a strong head (political discussions here are like deer fights) I thought we could talk not about who's ruining what now, or who sanctioned what genocide, but who we think was best. Who could lead us now? What would their reign be like? The only thing I'm gonna mention is that it has'ta be someone who's been in office before.

(Cue Jagos posting someone unkown and Smarty posting a commie.)

(Calling it now.)

[Archbio]

Cleisthenes would abolish all that princedom of darkness nonsense in Hell.

[Jagos]

Originally Posted by Seil

(Cue Jagos posting someone unkown...)

(Calling it now.)

Zoe Lofgren

She's keeping the internet alive. (HAH!)

[Seil]

Oi've nevah 'oid of 'er.

[Seil]

It's an honest question: if you don't pay attention to politics, what reasopn do you have to complain?!

[Jagos]

Well, not breaking the internet is a pretty good reason.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't know what this thread is supposed to be about but I do know that Winston Churchill was a massive cunt.

[Darth SS]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

I don't know what this thread is supposed to be about but I do know that Winston Churchill was a massive cunt.

But he was a massive incredibly quotable cunt. Hence why assholes like me absolutely adore him and inappropriately fondle his memory.

[Magus]

Who is the greatest politician of all time? Why, Thaddeus Stevens, of course. Not only was he a die-hard abolitionist, one of the most important politicians integral to the Civil War, and fighter for equal rights for minorities and women, he was apparently the funniest dude to ever walk the halls of Congress.

In his continuing battles with President Andrew Johnson, friends of the President went
to Stevens and tried to convince him that Johnson was not such a bad fellow. They
particularly pointed out that, like Stevens himself, Johnson was a self-made man.
Stevens answered: "I never thought of it that way, but it does relieve God Almighty of a
heavy responsibility."

Stumping in one day just as the vote was about to be taken on a contested seat, Stevens
inquired what was under consideration. "Oh," said a colleague, "we are just about to
vote on the question of two damn rascals fighting for a seat." "Well," responded Stevens
reaching for a ballot, "which is our damn rascal?"

"There is a wrong impression about one of the candidates. There is no such person
running as James Buchanan. He is dead of lockjaw. Nothing remains but a platform and
a bloated mass of political putridity."

"John Brown deserves to be hung for being a hopeless fool," Stevens said. "He
attempted to capture Virginia with seventeen men when he ought to know that it would
require at least twenty-five."

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Suffering from the affliction, alopecia, Stevens was completely bald by middle-age and
wore an ill-fitting wig. One day a female admirer came up to him and asked him for a
lock of his hair as a keepsake. Steven generously offered her his entire wig.

In an 1860 speech, Stevens spoke on the issue of sending more troops to Texas. "It is
said that the necessity for troops upon the Texas frontier has existed for several years.
Since 1853. Why, then, were troops sent to enforce despotism in Kansas? Why were
not the troops sent to Texas, which were sent to Mormondom where there was no
necessity for them? Why were not the twenty-six hundred or three thousand men sent to
Texas who were sent to Utah, and remained there at great cost to the government, for
no other reason under heaven, that I can see, except to watch the intercourse between
Brigham Young and his concubines [laughter]. And, now that their curiosity is satisfied,
they are being removed, as I am informed, as speedily as possible and transferred to the
Texan frontier."

But he could also be deadly serious:

Later, in the same speech, Stevens said: "We have letters urging upon us, it would seem,
that as one or two men and women were killed, we must raise this regiment; as if it were
the only way of bringing them back to life. I wish the Indians had newspapers of their
own. If they had, you would have horrible pictures of the cold-bloodied murders of
inoffensive Indians. You would have more terrible pictures than we have now revealed
to us, and, I have no doubt, we would have the real reasons given for those Indian
troubles. I suppose they would be as accurate as those you have in the letters which
have just been read and which have come in here so opportunely.

"Gentlemen on this floor [Congress], and in the Senate, had repeatedly, during this
discussion, asserted that slavery was a moral, political, and personal blessing; that the
slave was free from care, contented, happy, fat, and sleek. Comparisons have been
instituted between slaves and laboring freemen, much to the advantage of the condition
of slavery. Instances are cited where the slave, after having tried freedom, had
voluntarily returned to resume his yoke. Well, if this be so, let us give all a chance to
enjoy this blessing. Let the slaves, who choose, go free; and the free, who choose,
become slaves. If these gentlemen believe there is a word of truth in what they preach,
the slaveholder need be under no apprehension that he will ever lack bondsmen. Their
slaves would remain, and many freemen would seek admission into this happy
condition. Let them be active in propagating their principles. We will not complain if
they establish societies in the South for that purpose -- abolition societies to abolish
freedom. Nor will we rob the mails to search for incendiary publications in favor of
slavery, even if they contain seductive pictures, and cuts of those implements of
happiness -- handcuffs, iron yokes and cat-o'-nine-tails."

[Archbio]

Thaddeus Stevens just done broke that argument in half.