I am a Pescitarian

[Amake]

All bow to the Church of Joe Pesci.

Let's face it, the man is a short, golden Buddha of comedy. Remember that scene in Lethal Wepon where he really gets on everyone's nerves? Or in Home Alone, where he got is head caved in by Macula Culkin's mean machinations?


This picture is actually proof that Joe Pesci is a living saint and a manifest miracle. I mean, that's your burning bush right there. How many profets have not heard voices in these flames? I myself am currently writing down the holy text of Joe Pesci as revealed to me when I watched this scene on a loop for three days. It's hard work to make sense of the oracular visions given to me, but I'll give you a sample of the general tenets:

1. Thou shalt swear. Use as many four-letter words as you can, whenever it seems appropriate. The Most High Joe Pesci looks down on pretentious, long, creative swears however. Keep it holy, just say FUCK!

2. It's as hard for a tall, fit and handsome man to get into heaven as for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle. Tough luck, Depp.

3. You shall adopt an irritating voice and talk as fast and as much as possible. The more you piss people off, the more Joe Pesci loves you.