Doc's try at reviewin: Darksiders

[Doc ock rokc]

After reading some reviews on Darksiders that don't seem to do it justice I have decided to make my own.
But lacking any real writing kill I decided that this is probably the best way I can introduce you to the story and the main character.

This is a story all about how
My life got flip turned upside down
And If you take a minute just sit right there
And ill tell you all about how I became a Meteor flying through the air

In the charred counsel born and raised
On the battle ground is where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and all chopping up bastards just outside of view

When a couple of armies were up to no good
started making trouble in my neighborhood
I Got in one little fight and the Counsel got scared
and said We are holding you in-stasis for a hundred years

I begged and pleaded with them day after day
and they paired me with the joker and sent me on my way
They gave me a kick and sent me in a rocket
so I sharpened my sword and though might as well rock it

First impact yo wasn't so bad
Sucking up souls out of a demon glass
Is that is what living in the Apocalypse is like
hmm then this might be all right

But the demons here are prissy, bourgeois and all that
Is this the type of place that they should send this cool cat
I don't think so I'll see when I get there
I hope they're prepared for the WAR in the air

So when the rock landed and I came out
There was a demon looked like a shop floating there with my name out
I ain't trying to get digested yet I Just got here
So I Feed him with quickness till he disappeared

I whistled at a rock as I came near
He opened to say “Free” and had mold everywhere
Needless to say these gates where not rare
But thought Yo man forget it ON to the Prison lair

so I killed a few dozen demons maybe 7 or 8
And I yelled to the Guard “Want to test your fate?”
Looked at the tower I was nearly there
To get to the throne and...FUCK!

I was doing good till the end there. Maybe this is a good time time to actually start the review?
Darksiders is a Charter game for Vigil Games or the House Joe Madureira built.
If anything It's a good start for having no real Expectations.
Gameplay
While I'm sure you have heard about how unoriginal it is No one has really told you how it flowed. The game Manages to both Mix the gameplay of Zelda and God of war into a interesting Formula. While at the beginning the fighting is repetitive and one buttoned the End you will be switching weapons on the fly using long standing combos with multiple weapons and side arms going on at once. Then It seamlessly switches gears to Zelda mode where your solving some Rather clever puzzles and getting around in rather clever ways. Not to say that their isn't problems with this though. The unoriginality makes the game feel lackluster at times as you go “Yay a boomerang. What a joy. Why am I not playing zelda again?” but then it turns it around and makes the game speak in it's own voice so you go “Boomerang couldn't go Chainsaw! Boomerang wouldn't Keep a demon from poisoning me.”
Personality
(every game has a personality. Its rare though that games get judged on it. Now I am.) This game oozes Personality. Everywhere you look feels custom made. Every detail in the game seems to have a character in it Only Joe “Mad” can bring to life. While there is Some repetitive monster models every environment feels like it belongs...Now before you go and think “desolate gray and brown city” landscape. Punch yourself in the face because It's never that. First you start out in fallout like Ruined City Armageddon that Yes is gray and brown. Then you go into Hell on Earth Armageddon that's Dark cool black and Fiery red with spikes everywhere. Then on to Nature taking back city Armageddon that looks like the trees just marched in and took over. Grass is spider-webbing across the road you walk on till your doing nothing more but walking on soil and rock seeing the trees roots creeping into a lake made by collapsing subway tunnels. Its like nature is ridding the human pollution from the earth. Then carrying onto the stark contrast of a Desert brought upon the city due to the lack of human defense Shattered skyscrapers that stood tall now live as low ruins amongst the dunes. Then we move onto Arachnophobic's hell as a hospital that is taken over by giant demonic spiders is only standing by it's strands. Then onto Demon ULTRA GOTH Architecture Each place doesn't look the slightest bit out of place and each transition is almost as seamless as the combat.
But most of all all these places are Brimming with color not normally found in games now days. Not only that but because of the personality of the game You also get a lot of things that some games couldn't do without criticism. Like take War's sword's name Chaoseater. That sounds really lame right? WRONG! The way the game just passes it off The blades name just sounds above and beyond bad ass. Most games couldn't pass of a “Navi” Character. For most its the deference between a Good game to a hellish game. But the watcher is not only Bad ass in design and not very vocal but when he is vocal You hear Mark Hamel's Joker voice! Half the time you just want him to laugh (he doesn't though)
Im gonna Hit the hay. but i will finish this tomarrow