Dicks on demand, the next greatest innovation for sexivision.
You know that Dish-on-demand thing where you pick a movie you want, and download it directly to your tv for a limited viewing for a small price? Well the guys that made that are fucking geniuses. We need to create a vaguely similar variation in a different demographic.
That's right, with our next product, YOU can order prostitutes recreational dancers without having to let go of the remote. Simply go to the specialized menu, pick the gender, size, age and ethnicity you want and the order will be at your door in the time it takes to download a movie through a similar service. You can also try our ninja variety, which can enter your house discreetly and without requiring you to get up. That's right! You can order a "hired companion" with only a few button presses from the same remote you use to watch tv, your neighbors don't have to know about it and, by far the best part, you don't even have to get up during any part of it!
But first I need YOU to invest in the official NPF Industries Research Fund, so that we can make this service efficient and available to you anywhere. Remember, the future starts with you and ends with a blowjob.
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