stupid things we do to ourselves that we secretly enjoy

synkr0nized · 01-12-2013, 02:59 AM

Hmm, that thread title is probably ambiguous enough that at least a few of you have some smart-ass or lewd responses ready. Have at it. Like, hey, I drink, but I shouldn't, but fuck it I do it a lot anyway!!

Do you have any habits or things you tend to do that you know will affect you emotionally or physically in a bad way but that you do anyway? Have you ever felt that maybe you like beating yourself up or putting yourself in that state? Rather than ramble on about what I mean*, let me just give an example.

*[I feel that sometimes, when considering creating an opening post for a thread, my mastery over the English language is that of a grade school-er fumbling for words, any words, to get some half-assed idea across. I've had this kind of conversation with close friends in person and gotten the idea across just fine, but admittedly in that setting I have the benefit of body language and their familiarity with me to help.]

I used to actively collect Anime Music Videos. I don't do that too much anymore, though I still keep my eyes open for good ones (there are plenty of horrid ones out there, many of which are probably in my collection if I'm honest). While I love videos that are well-edited and visually engaging, I have always been a sucker for videos that do well in pairing lyric to visual. This appreciation extends to comedy or action equally as it does to romance or drama. I am doubly happy when the source material is a show I really enjoyed or focuses on a character or characters I really liked or empathized with when watching.

Often, I will watch a bunch of these as I try to wind-down for the night and head to bed or if I just feel like killing some time in front of the computer later at night.

What is "stupid" of me is that I will often purposefully watch the ones that have resonated emotionally with me and made me sad or similar.

You may think it's stupid because I am getting sad over someone's pairing of song to a cartoon. That may be fair. I once (in the sense that it motivated me to talk about it, not that I don't anymore) felt strongly about emotional reactions to anime as a medium; I wanted to share these feelings but was too much of a coward to put it out there for anyone to read. So I made a hidden page on my website at the time ("A Writing on Emotions and Their Targets: What is real?") and left it up there for many months. Over time, a few friends and online contacts had found it and read it, and to this day I remain undecided on if I am embarrassed knowing that at least a couple of them still have a copy of that or glad that they decided to hold onto it (though I suspect one of them of keeping it in mockery of me). In any case, I am a sucker for this kind of shit, and I don't feel bad at all for allowing myself these reactions.

What I think is stupid is that I know how I get and still watch some of these on purpose. Like, I enjoy making myself sad? I don't know. I do know that despite my tendency to approach things from a logical perspective, not seeing the point in being angry about A or upset when B happens or whatever, I am actually quite an emotional, albeit introverted and aloof about it, person. In any case, anger and frustration are not emotions I like to seek out. so I don't. I wouldn't consider myself thrilled about being sad, but yet I don't mind seeking that out at times.

A good friend of mine once told me that sometimes we all just need a good cry. Maybe that's part of it.

Like I implied, I sometimes feel stupid making opening posts, and I am sure this is a good example of why. But I felt like sharing.

And I am curious if there are things you do that you feel your probably shouldn't but you enjoy doing anyway.

01-12-2013, 02:59 AM	#1
synkr0nized synk-ism Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: throughout the Wired Posts: 6,861	stupid things we do to ourselves that we secretly enjoy Hmm, that thread title is probably ambiguous enough that at least a few of you have some smart-ass or lewd responses ready. Have at it. Like, hey, I drink, but I shouldn't, but fuck it I do it a lot anyway!! Do you have any habits or things you tend to do that you know will affect you emotionally or physically in a bad way but that you do anyway? Have you ever felt that maybe you like beating yourself up or putting yourself in that state? Rather than ramble on about what I mean, let me just give an example. [I feel that sometimes, when considering creating an opening post for a thread, my mastery over the English language is that of a grade school-er fumbling for words, any words, to get some half-assed idea across. I've had this kind of conversation with close friends in person and gotten the idea across just fine, but admittedly in that setting I have the benefit of body language and their familiarity with me to help.] I used to actively collect Anime Music Videos. I don't do that too much anymore, though I still keep my eyes open for good ones (there are plenty of horrid ones out there, many of which are probably in my collection if I'm honest). While I love videos that are well-edited and visually engaging, I have always been a sucker for videos that do well in pairing lyric to visual. This appreciation extends to comedy or action equally as it does to romance or drama. I am doubly happy when the source material is a show I really enjoyed or focuses on a character or characters I really liked or empathized with when watching. Often, I will watch a bunch of these as I try to wind-down for the night and head to bed or if I just feel like killing some time in front of the computer later at night. What is "stupid" of me is that I will often purposefully watch the ones that have resonated emotionally with me and made me sad or similar. You may think it's stupid because I am getting sad over someone's pairing of song to a cartoon. That may be fair. I once (in the sense that it motivated me to talk about it, not that I don't anymore) felt strongly about emotional reactions to anime as a medium; I wanted to share these feelings but was too much of a coward to put it out there for anyone to read. So I made a hidden page on my website at the time ("A Writing on Emotions and Their Targets: What is real?") and left it up there for many months. Over time, a few friends and online contacts had found it and read it, and to this day I remain undecided on if I am embarrassed knowing that at least a couple of them still have a copy of that or glad that they decided to hold onto it (though I suspect one of them of keeping it in mockery of me). In any case, I am a sucker for this kind of shit, and I don't feel bad at all for allowing myself these reactions. What I think is stupid is that I know how I get and still watch some of these on purpose. Like, I enjoy making myself sad? I don't know. I do know that despite my tendency to approach things from a logical perspective, not seeing the point in being angry about A or upset when B happens or whatever, I am actually quite an emotional, albeit introverted and aloof about it, person. In any case, anger and frustration are not emotions I like to seek out. so I don't. I wouldn't consider myself thrilled about being sad, but yet I don't mind seeking that out at times. A good friend of mine once told me that sometimes we all just need a good cry. Maybe that's part of it. Like I implied, I sometimes feel stupid making opening posts, and I am sure this is a good example of why. But I felt like sharing. And I am curious if there are things you do that you feel your probably shouldn't but you enjoy doing anyway. __________________ Find love.