Is this normal? (warning: gonna get abit dark)

[Aerozord]

I normally do not like sharing stuff like this because it just screams pathetic cry for attention to me and I hate causing distress in others. I live my life with the idea that my problems are MY problems. So I keep them to myself

Still I had gotten curious about something I've noticed with myself and if this happens to other people.

One of the most calming fantasies I have, is dying. I just picture my life ending in one way or another and I feel, I wouldn't say happy, but like relieved or content. Its similar to how I feel if I imagine something like winning the lottery, just, "this is great all my problems are over" or "yea it would be really nice if that happened to me." Being killed isn't something I worry about as much as dream about. Its my happy thought when things are especially rough

I'm not capable of killing myself of course, so please no one think thats even possible. But its one of those things like, I find it calming that the option is there. So thought I'd ask if its normal to find the thought of dying pleasant