Adoption versus biological birth

[CelesJessa]

As a few members of my family are adopted, I’ve always been interested n the topic of adoption. Whenever I talk to people about adoption, almost all of them agree that adoption is really a wonderful thing, and the people who adopt kids are wonderful people (etc etc). However, many of them will also openly admit that while adopting a kid in need is a wonderful thing, they would never consider it for themselves (unless for some reason they couldn’t give birth to their own child and such). When I hear this kind of thing I can’t help but wonder “why?”.

Most of the time, it seems the only time someone will consider adoption is if they can’t have their own natural kids, and that’s usually even a less preferable option to in-vitro fertilization. Men who become sterile due to chemotherapy or other reasons often save their sperm in expensive sperm banks so that someday they can use it to have kids, rather than even consider adopting one of the many children who will otherwise go without a family for the rest of their lives, shuttled between foster homes, or in low-rate third world orphanages.

And before anyone thinks I’m condemning anyone who does this, the weirdest part is when thinking about the future, I find myself often in the category of “I want to have ‘my own’ kids”, and I’ve seen firsthand how an adopted child is just as much a part of your family as a naturally born child. And when I really think about it, I can’t really think of any good reasons why I should prefer giving birth to adoption, while I can think of some good reasons to do adoption instead.

I’ve asked parents of non-adopted children about their opinion on the matter, and they mention how it’s just so cool to see your baby for the first time. To see a little “you” so to speak. But in that case, are our reasons purely selfish? We would rather bring more kids into the world rather than helping those who are really in need just because of a special feeling you get when looking at your infant? Some mentioned that with adopted kids, you don’t really know what kind of kid you’re going to get, but how do you know any more with naturally born children? I mean, yes, I understand that adopted kids that are older have influences on them other than your own, so there’s that, but what about adopted infants? And I’ve seen plenty of naturally born kids grow up to be trouble makers as well.

So I decided to ask you; why are we so obsessed and will go so far to have our own flesh-and-blood children? Would you consider adoption? I thought it would be interesting to get all of your opinions on the matter, especially those who do have kids already.