Two great armies clash...

[Bells]

Hypothetical scenario...

it's a huge Plain field. Very few trees, around 3 pm, no hills or holes.

On one side you have 30 Brown bears being used as Mounts. On top of them, a Warrior and a Archer. The Warrior carries light armor and a Simple Long sword and a small shield. The Archer has a large crossbow and hard leather armor.

Behind them there are 10 Battle Giraffes, all in full battle armor. On their heads you have a Halfling spellcaster, and on their backs you got a cleric and a ranger. All in light armor.

On the other side, you have 25 Silverback Gorillas, in heavy battle armor, all mounted by Rangers that carry Magical bows that shoot fire, lighting and ice in random order, there is also 5 Griffins mounted by Circus Jugglers with Bowie knifes.

So... these two armies class... and what you guys think it would happen?

Also, this is not a simple Vs Thread, add more stuff in. What would level the playing field? What would make it more Epic and Preposterous?

[Premmy]

What in the hell is a battle giraffe? is that an Avatar: TLA animal?

[Geminex]

It's just a giraffe with better stats, I guess.

As for the battle...

It depends on their strategies, really.
I think the side with the gorillas has the slight advantage, because they have a larger armored force (the silverbacks), while still having competent quick-strike forces. (The griffons). In addition to this, the archers on gorilla-back can support each other and facilitate breakthroughs through enemy lines. The side with the bears has a lot of cavalry (the bears), but the bears aren't armored, so a few good ranged volleys should be capable of reducing their cavalry to a group of warriors milling around. Besides, crossbows aren't that good on bearback, I think. As for the battle giraffes, I guess they're vulnerable because the clerics, rangers, casters are all only lightly armored, which means that concentrated fire could probably wipe them out.

What I see happening is that the bears and gorillas charge at each other, both take casualties but all of the bears die, leaving only the warriors and crossbowmen. Meanwhile, a detatchment of gorillas, along with the griffins attack the giraffe-mounted forces from one of their flanks and begin targeting the casters. They get wiped out, but the casters all die. So then you have, let's say, 8 armored giraffes and 40 infantry on foot versus 15 silverback gorillas and the rangers riding them. The gorillas first charge the armored giraffes, taking them down without sustaining too many casualties, then get charged by the enemy's infantry, but evade the attack and surround the milling infantry. The rangers snipe at them while evading the enemy's archers, eventually they run out of ammo, and they all charge the infantry, wipe them out.

Factor in some siege weapons. Ballistae, catapults.

[EVILNess]

I think this is probably the most absurd topic I've seen in 2010.

I know it's still early, but damn Bells good job.

[Amake]

Wizards always win. Gnome wizards with the superb mobility and field of vision offered by sitting on the head of a battle giraffe? They'll conquer worlds. Gnome wizards with the superb mobility and field of vision offered by sitting on the head of a battle giraffe with backup from healers, tanks, long range harassment and BEAR CAVALRY? Were your parents killed by gorillas or something?

If the other side had one of my level 80+ Monk-Wizard-Cleric-Druid-Liches maybe they'd have a chance. . .okay, maybe five of them.

[Geminex]

I think it is you who underestimates the power of knife-throwing clowns. Seriously, their mounts fly across the battlefield, they've reached the enemies in a few seconds and start pelting them with knives before they can finish incanting. And do you know how hard it is to concentrate on casting magic when clowns are throwing knives at you?

[Premmy]

Okay, So I've found out what a Battle-Giraffe is...

[Sithdarth]

If the other side had one of my level 80+ Monk-Wizard-Cleric-Druid-Liches maybe they'd have a chance. . .okay, maybe five of them.

That's a rather poorly made character. I made a level 40 Monk-Ninja-Samurai-Iaijutsu Master with a VOP that could wipe out both armies no sweat. It make take him like 3 weeks of straight fighting but he had so much AC and SR he was basically immortal. Plus the ability to crank out well over 1k damage in a round. Even the Griffins are screwed because he could balance on air and had a jump check that basically turned him into a flea.

[Amake]

Hard to concentrate on not laughing maybe. Throwing weapons do tiny damage to begin with, factor in basic shield spells and Cleric protections and heals and three out of four throws missing from the flying mounts and the wizards alone outnumbering the clowns 2:1 and yeah, I hope they at least have unrealistically large stacks of knives.

PS. As far as I know any toon past level 25 or so breaks the D&D systems so yeah, a lvl 40 is probably just as invincible as a lvl 80.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

....


Giraffes are not known for their war-like prowess. Otherwise we would have used them in, ya know, war before now.


Also I find the omission of elephants with cannons on their backs to be a grave miscalculation. Please modify.