Critique my appeal plzkthx!

[Satan's Onion]

Let me polish up the grammar 'n' stuff a bit, breaking up some run-ons and possibly adding the odd word or two (you'll know the additions 'cos they're italicized). Even little things like that can make a significant difference in how your appeal is treated.

My suggestions. I hope this is helpful.

---------------------------

Hello Mr. CONFIDENTIAL,

My name is CENSORED and I am a Computer Science & Engineering major who, until this semester, held Western Undergraduate Exchange tuition status. I initially transferred to MYSCHOOL in Fall 2007 as a jazz performance major. After two semesters I decided to change to Computer & Information Engineering in Fall 2008; when the degree was opened last year, I finally transferred to Computer Science & Engineering. A change as drastic as this--from a music major to engineering--meant that I had almost an entirely new four-year curriculum to work through complete. This coming fall semester is my ninth at SCHOOLNAMEAGAIN; my current projected graduation date is December 2012. but However, I strongly doubt that I will be able to afford to attend continued attendance at YERSCHOOL, considering that as my financial aid, was initially calculated at the WUE tuition level, and has been readjusted so that I'm now being charged the full out of state tuition, which I cannot afford to pay .

I have registered a plan of study with the financial aid office and I am determined to complete my course of study on schedule. I respectfully ask that you consider renewing my WUE tuition status through the completion of this plan.

Thank you very much for your time.

TOTALLYMYNAME
ID #: LOLNOTONTHEINTERNET

---------------------------------------