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#1 | |
si vales valeo
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Where US HWY 59 and 80 cross
Posts: 4,470
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So I was in my kitchen making a dish that can be best described as "Would you like some food with your cheese?" when a friend of mine walked up behind me and then proceeded to lecture me on how you are only supposed to use small amounts of cheese to taste.
I literally have never looked at anyone with a face of such disapproval so hard in my entire life. I made him so uncomfortable with my unflinching stare that he laughed nervously and then awkwardly left my kitchen. I feel there is no such thing as too much cheese. There is only "More cheese" and "I have died from a massive heart attack." So my question is this: Did I do the right thing to chase the non-believer out of my holy place of dairy with my stares of disapproval?
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Last edited by EVILNess; 10-24-2011 at 09:48 PM. |
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#2 |
The Straightest Shota
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: It's a secret to everybody.
Posts: 17,789
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You should have said that you are using it to taste.
Then tasted it. And promptly added more cheese.
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#4 |
Archer and Armstrong vs. the World
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Well like I mean if you are making chili or something I would only put in SOME (would still be quite a bit), but if this is some kind of pasta-based meal then you can't really have enough.
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#5 |
Local Rookie Indie Dev
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You should've threw him out of your kitchen with the strength of 10 men.
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#6 |
Archer and Armstrong vs. the World
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What kind of cheese was this, was it a delicious New York sharp or a smooth provolone?
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#7 |
Not a Taco
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,313
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Tell him that he's a philistine, and that the only time that's true about cheese is when you're in Italy/having a pasta dish. In that case, you're only supposed to use a bit of Parmesan cheese (Preferably none!), since it's an insult to the chef there.
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I did a lot of posting on here as a teenager, and I was pretty awful. Even after I learned, grew up, and came to be on the right side of a lot of important issues, I was still angry, abrasive, and generally increased the amount of hate in the world, in pretty unacceptable ways. On the off chance that someone is taking a trip down memory lane looking through those old threads, I wanted to devote my signature to say directly to you, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be better, NPF. |
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#8 |
wat
Join Date: Jan 2005
Posts: 7,177
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The proper response was to stare at him so hard cheese flowed from your cheddar rimmed eyes, oozing hot onto the floor and causing him to trip. He recovers awkwardly, laughing nervously, and turns to leave, only to entrap himself in a web of mozzarella. He struggles, growing more panicked now, finally stretching enough to reach for a nearby knife.
You could care less, already reaching into your fridge to retrieve the asiago and gouda, adding enough that your dish is now a writhing half-conscious tumour of ten-plus cheeses with barely macroscopic reminders that other ingredients were ever inserted. Your friend stumbles from the web only to slip into the warm quickbrie pool beside the kitchen table. You chuckle morbidly, knowing your friend's fate is already sealed. The grilled cheese was decent, as well. |
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#9 | |
I do the numbers.
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Saskatoon
Posts: 5,260
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What a dumb, foolhardy, tasteless CUR. You tell that friend to fuck off and never criticize your cooking ever again. If they persist, you deploy a bunch of mozzarella frozen into the shape of a knife and cut out their tongue. See if they bitch about "taste" ever again.
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#10 |
Sent to the cornfield
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When I was in Italy everybody used fucking mountains of cheese. Maybe they all hated the chef. He did hugey like Luigi from SMB though.
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