Are you MAN ENOUGH to CONQUER THE GALAXY? Let's Play Space Empires V!

[01d55]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

Alpha Centurai taught me that science factions are broken as shit so we should do the opposite- savage berserkers.

Masters of Orion 2 concurs.

[Sir Pinkleton]

BERSERKER.

Also, big guns are necessary, so some focus on research.

[Bob The Mercenary]

Reading this made me realize how awesome Sins of a Solar Empire would be as an LP. If only I had the patience and skill to make it.

[Geminex]

Adress of UFNUN Leader Lord Geminex to his advisory council, 23rd of August 2392

It was over before it began...
Or so we thought. And really, who could blame us?
This struggle... struggle for supremacy, struggle for power...
it had been going on for long enough, hadn´t it? Wasn´t it about time we got a break, an easy win, something that could be celebrated? Particularly this close to the end?

We were tired of ending battles, ending them victoriously, and then comparing what we´d lost to what we´d gained and realizing that the latter had fallen horribly short. Tired of sitting silently in meetings with one another, nobody voicing what everyone was thinking, that perhaps there was no need for battle, war, conflict, power, that perhaps any gains for us or our nation were far outweighed by the damage we were doing, both to this planet and our race.

We were tired of doubting.

And so, as we sat in our bunker in front of the screens, watching the once-great nation, former ally, that was now our final victim we cheered. We cheered as our preliminary strikes destroyed their command centers, their few remaining silos. Cheered as the main wave of warheads, launched from all over the globe, converged on such a comparatively small piece of land. 4000 heavy warheads. 4000 cities going up in clouds of flame and dust and ashes and traces of what had once been human beings, but now were just so much radioactive vapor. Casualty counts coming in every few seconds, both their estimated dead as well as the few victims of their desperate first strike.
And we cheered. Clapped. High-fived each other. Because it seemed that this conflict that had been going on for the last 400 years, that had been endless... was now over. Ended in the space of 2100 seconds by 4003 fusion reactions.

They did strike first, you know. I know that someone once said „history is written by the victors“, and I´m sure that we´ll make great use of that privelege in times to come, but when the future´s history books describe the rest of the world as misguided, needing to be saved by the most unlikely of saviors and cite America´s heinous first strike as an example, at least one detail will be true. They fought to the end....
As far too many have.


We never attacked our foes openly... not the superpowers anyway. Those could have harmed us, no matter our strength. Challenging them would have meant risking so much. Too much. So we did it covertly, broke them from within, deprived them from without. It should have been bloodless victories. But far too often we had to kill them, their people, their nations, their collective spirit, before they would give in...

First came the weak ones, the fractured ones. Africa. South America. The Middle East. They were invaded, sometimes openly, sometimes under thin guises of retribution or protection. Nobody cared. Their loss.

Europe was bought, bit by bit, national pride giving in to greed and political pressure, governments weakened and corrupted , and the businessmen blinded by the glitter of gold and the fear of consequences.

Russia was frozen, deprived of oil, their own oil fields sabotaged, they died in the cold, and the snow, and the frost, first begging, then cursing us. It remains split and fractured, thin ice too often broken. But fractured under our control.


China was starved, agonizingly, slowly, their people dying in the street as more and more were abandoned by their rulers. The country fell into anarchy, driven by hunger till only the elite remained... They died quickly, at our hands, and we took what they had left behind and fed it, and marshaled it and made it ours.


The rest fell into line quickly... a global alliance, though far less independent from us than they´d have liked to think...

And then America came, the first true enemy, standing tall, against us. Knowing they could not win, but trying anyway.
They went up in proud, patriotic, flames.

And now... where are we at?

The world under one government, my government... an ambitious goal, a dream made reality made nightmare... The result of a 400 year plan, devised oh-so-long ago in the council-chambers of the first President Bob. My ancestor was one of his advisers, or so they tell me. I bear his name...
I sometimes wish they had not been. The last 400 years have been terror and depravity, ending with a bang. Our population is down to 4 billion. Radiation and bioweapons and war and famine have taken care of those that should have been. Our economies are wrecked. Our infrastructure. We function, but we may never return to our previous strength, my advisors tell me. Too little space. Too little will to live. Technological advancement has been slow. War came first, always, and now that war is over, we see what we have missed. Worst of all, far too many know of this price, of the deaths, the inhumanity. And they are scarred by it, their spirit broken, their idealism gone up in the flames that so recently consumed America. They will remember the involuntary sacrifices that should never have been made. We committed a crime against ourselves when we ripped the still-beating hearts out of so many nations, so many peoples and bit into them and ate them for strength. And now we are strong, in a way, and united, in a way.

But was it worth it?
Every human in existence now lives under the red white and blue flag... barely know at first, now notorious. There are no more countries, just provinces under the UFNUN. And I am it´s leader...
„Lord Geminex, high leader of the United Federation of Nations under The Netherlands“...
The title disgusts me. But I must bear it... because with all the sacrifice we made, it has to have been worth it? We lost our humanity, our sanity, too much of our world. It has to have been worth it... because if not...
Well, that´d be hilarious, wouldn´t it?


But I´m scared. We all are. When those last nukes fell, we thought it was over. We cheered not out of bloodlust or delight at the deaths or any kind of sadism. But because we knew that our race was near collapse, that we needed to rest, to forget the horrors of war, to forget this berserk rage that seems to have gripped us far too often in the lest few years. As a race, we were weary. Tired. We needed to rest. Before destruction of our foes became everyday and atrocities became tools and what humanity was left in us became fully eroded in favor of love for destruction and love for power. We cheered because we thought we could rest and recover.
But we can´t.

An engineer with the SSED (Solar System Exploration Division) came to see me today. He brought most wonderful news... Apparently, we are not alone in this galaxy. One of the few satellites he has the budget for, apparently disappeared a while ago, reappearing shortly afterwards. According to their analysis, it moved a vast distance in a short time... warped, so to speak. The scientific implications are enormous...
Of course, the social and militaristic implications are not to be neglected either. This lucky, lucky satellite not only revolutionized Physics, but also picked up on certain radio frequencies. Appearing in a pattern. A logical pattern. Made by either a very strange stellar object or a fellow intelligent race. They´re trying to translate the message right now.
But for all I care, it could be E.T. Phoning home. Because this will leak out. Even if I had everyone involved killed, it would leak out. And when our people, our humanity grown so acclimatized to war, so proud over this victory over themselves, so demanding that “We” have more power and “They” have less hear of this...
I do not think that they will come in peace. I do not think that they will hide in fear of the unknown. I do not think that they will return to the life we once had, 400 years ago and simply live without demanding the subjugation of others to satisfy their sense of worth.
They will demand that we move against these creatures, any and all.
Proclaim what our propaganda so often preached, that They are weak and We are strong, and there must be conflict, for the common good.
They loath to forget these years of conflict, loath change that does not bring conquest. In this they are united. Because all of them, be they victors or the defeated, desire battle, now. Expansion, conquest and battle.
They will demand another war, one on an intergalactic scale. With more crimes. More atrocities. More destruction of the innocent, simply for love of power. A heavy burden on our people. I pray it will not break our backs, strip us of the last vestige of humanity we possess, drive us back into the caves of fire and darkness and primal rage.

400 years of conflict, ending in an hour of fire have forged a world united and a people gone mad.
And I cannot stop them. For they are united, and ready to dispense with those in the way of their rage.
And so we have made a race of berserkers.
Clever, intelligent berserkers, who may crave no combat individually, but as a people are gripped by true bloodlust, lust for killing of other peoples, lust for still more beating hearts.

We thought it was over before it began, because we didn´t want it to go on any longer.
But it was only the beginning, wasn´t it? Prologue: A world united. Ended just in time for the actual story: A galactic empire”.
And what I fear is not that we´ll lose and be wiped out by some alien race. But that we´ll win. And that the secrets of this galaxy and all its intelligent races will fall into our hands. The hands of a people, bent in the first struggle, broken in the second. Ravaged by guilt and history. But enticed by power and greatness and the destruction of worlds.
But I will lead them. For if I do not, another will, one as gripped by rage as the rest of them. I cannot fail them, or they will tear me down with them. When, if we get through this... perhaps I can make them see sense...
Perhaps, we can win this quickly, quietly. Perhaps I can preserve our humanity.
Perhaps, when the galaxy is at last at our feet, we will rediscover mercy.
Perhaps not.
So the circus is back in town, ladies and gentlemen. The clowns of famine, pestilence, death and war are dancing, prancing ´round the ring again. Watch their performance carefully, perhaps you´ll realize what they´re trying to tell you this time. So let us dispense with the pleasantries and announcements and let them get into full swing! Let us not stand in their way, but let this wonderfully horrible act begin!
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Here we are again!




Presidential log, 2nd of October 2392

The public now knows...
Of course, they knew before, rumor being what it is, but now it´s confirmed and official.
They´re cheering in the streets, all of them. The people of Europe, Asia, even the surviving Americans. We´ve gone insane. But we knew that already...
They´re putting up statues of me. Already. I made the address, revealing the enemy menace and vowing to protect our glorious people and glorious planet with any means possible just two hours ago, and already I´m a hero. Because they once again have a war to fight, a struggle for survival. No time for introspection or self-doubt. „Fight we must and fight we shall! To our death, or to theirs!“ was one of the iconic lines of my speech.... and it sums it up rather nicely. They´ll fight to the death, any death. And when they´ve fought and burnt and won, they´ll either realize what they´ve done, or continue, and consume themselves in their rage.

Of course, we won´t quite begin fighting yet. There´s far too much stil left to do... Our spirit cannot recover in a decade, or even a century... but 7 years is just enough to let us prepare for this war. And to let us sustain it. I´ve spoken to various councils and engineering teams and analysts... we´ve worked something out. Starting 2393, all of our planet´s resources will be allocated to fulfilling a series of seven 1-year plans. We need resource extraction facilities, Research facilities, huge construction facilities. It´ll be hard... but we have the resources of all of humanity under our control... We will succeed.


Presidential log, 8th of October 2392

Of course we will succeed. We have more than enough resources to be able to sustain this new war by the year 2400. But my god, the logistics! So much to organize, so much to plan and allocate! Such a web of information, and I am in its center! I have 2000 people reporting directly to me, and they need to report directly to me, because only I can give them the permission they need...
I´d sell my soul and humanity to demonic fire spirits right about now if only I´d get an efficient organizer in return.


Presidential log, 9th of October, 2392.

How strange. Today, during one of my precious breaks, I walked along one of the few uncontaminated rivers in the world. It has an underground wellspring which hasn´t yet been exhausted, and it´s a beautiful piece of nature. I sat down at its edge, my mind already returning on the question of how to get several tons of enriched uranium from the African to the Chinese province without using air travel, when I noticed something floating on the water. Loath to see the river polluted, I fished it out. It turned out to be a book... but a very strange one. What seemed to be a finger bone was wedged into the spine, and it was wrapped in a substance that was either algae or beard hair. It was also covered in bite marks. I was curious and, after cleaning it, I opened it to look at the first page. I was shocked to find that whatever writing had been on the page was disappearing!
The letters
T e E no c n
We m e t Wor ill!
Faded before my eyes, only to be replaced by the words:
The Astronomicon
How to conquer the galaxy!
I can only assume that a member of the local science department heard of my logistical plight and designed something to assist me, since the book provides the most wonderful overview of available resources and manpower, ongoing research and political factors, even offering the occasional suggestion on how to maximize efficiency! A veritable godsend. The only thing that mystifies me is the method of delivery, but I shall not complain if it continues being this FUN to use.
...
Though I do not think I will tell anyone about this, though. There is no need for them to know. And if they insist, we shall see which one of us is Ruler of the UFNUN! Yes! We will see!
And now, if you will excuse me, I have a war to organize. It would be horrible if I were to be accused of lacking effort and replaced by a more bloodthirsty individual who would actually use his power over humanity to achieve something. Yes. Absolutely dreadful.
Somehow...

(Several hundred entries later)

Presidential log, 24th of December, 2399

At last... we are so close to completion! Our economy is stable, our cities are flourishing, our research has advanced far beyond what our primitive ancestors could have imagined, our people are... content. Eager. As am I. Soon, our first steps into the galaxy will be undertaken! Already we are selecting the most fit individuals for our first colonization!
We are ready for conquest. Ready for war!
Merry Christmas... Ho ho ho...

And now all that is left to do is plan and organize and pull few switches... and decide what the next month shall bring.

The astronomicon has changed... instead of earth´s deatailed resources I now merely have an overview of earth... but perhaps earth is in fact, just a detail. For I can see so much else now, so much information!



Our people...



Our resources and empire!



Our friends and foes...



Our research!



And so much more... as time shall reveal...



Truly, whatever... researcher sent me this aid, is deserving of my thanks.


I will now go and speak to my council...
We will consult. And then I will give the orders that will begin the true rise of Humankind. What to research. Sensors? A grander ship size? The reserves we have amassed will not last, I fear that we will have considerably less ability to research in later months. But it will have to be enough.

And then there is the issue of what to build? A scout ship would help us scout far further than our current system... And yet, we need to expand, colonize new planets, build new facilities. The astronomicon denotes planets which we can colonize with red, and planets which we can colonize and on which we can breath with green... What wealth we could draw from them!

But we shall see...



_________

Sorry bout the sloppy copy-pasta in some of those, I just wanted to show you the interface. And sorry bout the excessive writing, but I like my stories to have a bit of depth and moral dilemma and inner agony. Though towards the middle I started sounding rather a lot like Rorschach, were he to become president of the world. Or just republican candidate for President. I could so see that happening.
As you can probably tell, we've gone berserker. I've thought of some fun stuff to do, and it might actually be challenging to do it, cause there are 15 computer opponents and they've all received huge bonuses. I'm not sure how huge, but I think we shouldn't rush them.

Anyway, enjoy the first chapter, the next few won't be a long. And choose wisely. The fate of our world is in your hands. Or something.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I like how 3 Let's Plays have merged into 1 universe. Nicely done on that.

This should be interesting.

[Geminex]

The Netherlands were only a call-out, and a way to characterize the coming war. It can get quite nasty, with the genocide and whatnot.
As for the astronomicon, it's a good way to let Geminex switch plausibly from ruler agonizing over fate to bloodthirsty conqueror and back again.

And if any readers wanna do journal entries that'd be cool. Perhaps slip into the role of a crew member of whatever ship's important at the moment, the first colony ship, that big fleet that gets nearly wiped out by a mine field, that foot soldier fighting for a beachhead. Just to spice it up a little.

[Corel]

I keep reading the acronym as UNFUN.

4000 people left huh? Man we must have done a number on civilisation.

[Krylo]

No no, that's 4000M, as in 4000 million. As in 4,000,000,000.

Also, research troops. We need more dakka.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I really wanna sugest that we paint our ships red too.

And then cover them in more dakka.

[Krylo]

Originally Posted by Hawk

And then cover them in more dakka.

No, you have it backwards.

Our dakka should be so large and so prevalent that the ships are the accessory.

We shall not put guns on our ships. We shall put ships on our guns.

Edit: But yes, they shall be painted red.

Also, our ground troops should have exo-suits/mechs capable of AT LEAST holding a gatling gun in each arm and one on each shoulder. At least.

Or they may be genetically modified to do it without suits. Whichever.