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Unread 05-02-2010, 05:12 PM   #1
Professor Smarmiarty
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Serious In this thread, SMB bitches about British elections and NEEDS YOU!
*Possibly newsy but I'm not getting no article, I'm just bitching*
I may be a little wasted after the local meeting on how shit this election is..
Aside from the fact that all elections are outright rigged, they could at least try to be a little less blatant about the rigging here.
See so we got two main parties- Labour the "left party" and conservatives "the right". But Labour is currently still "New Labour" which basically means "businessmen who pretend they are left-wing-ie we are lefties but we are fiscally responsible" so basically they are the conservatives.
BUT OH SHIT- THERE is a third party!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!
Because Britain is New Zealand in the 80s (I'll get to that ) they can recycle old elections tricks- this time the third party playing the "common sense" role. Now this is the first time in British history that there has been live televised leaders debate- which is totally suited to the common sense man because he reaffirms everybodies help believes. So the third party, the Liberal democrats, are polling well and eveyroen like DEMOCRACY SO GOOD

But we're in the 80s because unlike the rest of the civilised world who got rid of First Past the Post type voting methods then, Britain has kept them.
This basically means there are electroal districts, you vote for the man in your district, whoever wins the district gets the parliament seat, popular vote means nothing.
So our votes are worthless.

All this said, the real point of this thread is to discuss the best ways for me to spoil my ballot paper.
In the past I have A) Drawn a box with "no confidence" on the sheet and ticked that B) Voted for a "Ghosts of dead iraqis" box and C) Covered the paper with pictures of Camus smoking a cigarette.
I out of ideas this go around.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 05:58 PM   #2
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:32 PM   #3
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Vote Jedi. Always.
A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.

The 'jedi' party is obviously a sith trick.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:36 PM   #4
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A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.
They sure seem to do a lot of "advising" in the first movie- by which I mean just going around laser swording pretty much everybody while acting all smug about it.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 09:01 PM   #5
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Unread 05-02-2010, 09:42 PM   #6
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You COULD always pencil in Barack Obama. Or if you want to be a bit more realistic and controversial, George W. Bush. He's not doing anything at the moment past Haiti ads. Or if you want more awesome, you could do Bill Clinton, who's only doing Haiti ads and being awesome, but he does awesome all the time, so it doesn't distract him much.


Edit: Oh, wait, you probably don't want to repeat the penciling in thing. My bad.

Uhh, oh, you could always mark it up with what looks like a code of some sort, but is really gibberish. Or better yet, make it a real code that says something obscene if they waste time translating it.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:19 PM   #7
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What the fuck? The jedi were not only rightwing fundamentalists they were also incredibly bad at even the simplest of tasks. Like if I wanted to design a task that I would need a jedi for, that no one else could do, it would be to hunt down Sith Lords. But an entire council of jedis can't detect what is stated in many sources to be one of the msot powerful Sith Lords of all time despite talking to him every fucking day because they too up their own beaucratic ass and someone filled out their positive identification of Palpatine on form 652AB and not 652AC with subsidiary document 6/001 in triplicate, black ink, blue paper.
Shit I'd rather vote the tories.

Edit: Also they clearly a military dictatorship. Why are we supposed to support them?
It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them? They have no policies ,the make no case why the empire is bad, they just blow shit up for the hell of it and cause ruckus.
I always ALWAYS support the rebels and even I don't support the rebel alliance cause the empire seem to be humming along pretty efficiently, they don't do anything really outright worse than the rebels.
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Unread 05-05-2010, 11:54 AM   #8
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Default The Jedi in the prequels are just stone suckers, though. Straight up rubes.
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It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them? They have no policies ,the make no case why the empire is bad, they just blow shit up for the hell of it and cause ruckus.
I always ALWAYS support the rebels and even I don't support the rebel alliance cause the empire seem to be humming along pretty efficiently, they don't do anything really outright worse than the rebels.
I'm pretty sure the part where Grand Moff "That means I can boss Darth Fucking Vader" Tarkin blows up a populated planet just to be a dick is the case why The Empire is bad.

Also consider that the Empire is a direct outgrowth of The Republic - a natural extension of the emergency War Powers Palpatine got during the violent suppression of the separatist movement. It isn't necessary to spell out how the defeated seperatist systems are treated - they're colonies in service to the Imperial core. That's why they call it an Empire.
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Unread 05-05-2010, 12:03 PM   #9
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I'm pretty sure the part where Grand Moff "That means I can boss Darth Fucking Vader" Tarkin blows up a populated planet just to be a dick is the case why The Empire is bad.
Bro, if your princess is the head of the fucking Rebel alliance you've got some dodgey shit going on.
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Also consider that the Empire is a direct outgrowth of The Republic - a natural extension of the emergency War Powers Palpatine got during the violent suppression of the separatist movement. It isn't necessary to spell out how the defeated seperatist systems are treated - they're colonies in service to the Imperial core. That's why they call it an Empire.
Firstly, we don't really know htis in the movies, there are coded references to the republic and that's it. I talking before Prequel bollocks.
An empire doesn't necessarily mean automatically its bad. Mabe it's a benevolent empire fuelled by cooperative interests. If you are going to have a villainous empire, at least tell us why.
What are the rebel alliance going to replace it with? We don't know. They don't tell us. Maybe the Rebel alliance is going to replace it with a worse empire.
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Unread 05-05-2010, 12:08 PM   #10
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Bro, if your princess is the head of the fucking Rebel alliance you've got some dodgey shit going on.
Maybe the princess was just in it for the thrill? And to bang a smuggler! And kiss her brother...dude, that princess was one messed up bitch!

She was a traitor too, no good things come from traitors. Plus Smarties right, all we know about the empire is Darth Vader was awesome and he killed jedi in honorable sword fights. And they used a Gaint Freakin Laser to blow up planets as an interrogation method. There is no policy mentioned at all. Maybe they were assholes to those who betrayed em, but they could run things decently maybe?

You should totally elect Kamina as your new leader, he'd fix things up!
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