To Our Valued Customers

Seil · 08-05-2010, 07:44 PM

I accepted the job at the local convenience store because I needed a bit of cash to pay some bills and pay for my expensive whiskey addiction. I had no idea that I'd be treated with serving you, the general public. Just a few points I'd like to touch on:

I need you to read. There is a small deli attached to our store, but it's closed some of the time while the rest of the store is open. Yes, the door to the deli is open, but that's only because it's like a hojillion degrees outside and we need air circulation inside the store. You might have noticed the deli hours posted on the door. Or realize that the lights are off, the open sign turned off, all the sandwich boards pulled in and stacked against the wall. Or that there's no food on display. Any number of things that standing there, dinging the bell is not going to change. And when no one comes out of the deli, please don't take this opportunity to ask if the deli is open, because I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

On that note, slushies. It distinctly says on the machine to buy the cups first, then get your slushie. It's not an invatation to use the small, styrofoam coffee cups that are located next to the coffee machine - and when you get your cups, please don't sample the slushie mixes. There are other people waiting to use the machine, we know you're grabbing half a cup and drinking it there, just don't do it.

Prices; I don't know how much the store down the way sells this. I don't have any control over pricing things. I'm not in charge, I just work here. So yelling at me about how much we charge for a bottle of pop or that you can get it for a dollar less somewhere else, or that it used to be cheaper when you were a kid forty years ago, I reallly can't do anything about it, so please stop yelling.

We all love candy, sugary sweet stuff that it is. Though please don't grab it. That's why we have tongs there. Yes, the tongs are a pain in the ass and yes, we just want to grab some and go, but if you stick your hands in there you're dirtying the candy for everyone else. And it's gross. You're getting better about this, but I stil have to tell people to use the tongs before they stick their hand in there. So stop it.

Lottery players, it's great that you've found something you can devote several hours to a day and spend over a hundred dollars with no return. But please know what you want, and for the love of Christ, check your tickets. We have a special machine for that, where you can check your tickets. Bringing in a stack of things that you've been collecting for years not only holds up the line and makes others angry, half of your tickets aren't winners and the rest have expired.

On that note, smokers - know what you want. If you come in saying that you or your friend smokes smokes that come in a browny-orangey-yellow pack, then we're going to have to go across the wall and find it.

I understand that you all have a sense of humor. Well, most of you do. But if possible, could you refrain from making jokes? If the scanner isn't working and I'm having trouble pricing your item for you, the best thing you can do is not say something like "Well, I guess that means it's free." The frquency of that being repeated on long days and the smugness of the person saying it is grounds for your slushy being dumped over top of you. Just stand by while we try to get our machines working.

There's a few other personal peeves of mine, but for now, I'll leave you with that. So if you could work on that, then we can get along so much better and the process will go so much more smoothly.

Nique · 08-05-2010, 08:54 PM

Yeah people have this weird idea like employees have any control at all.

Like, check it: There's a local game store I go to and I ALWAYS buy games from them and I feel obliged to give them almost any of my gaming related business. You know why? I'm in there all the time and they always cut listed prices for me without me asking and they always talk to me and just act all-around cool whether I'm buying something or not (although I usually am)

But I mean, I don't expect that and I especially don't expect it from any other place and if a policy from some big corporate conglomerate disagrees with me I don't have any illusions that complaining to Seil is going to accomplish anything except make him hate his life.

Terex4 · 08-05-2010, 10:13 PM

Grocery and retail employees are one small step above fast food employees, and about two steps above hobos in the eyes of the general public.

Nothing solves your self esteem problems like finding someone you can feel superior to (note: if you don't know the customer is a cashier, the customer is better than you) and acting on that feeling.

Whoever invented the phrase "the customer is always right" either never had to interact with the customer, or feeds off bitching. As far as the pricing goes, blame the big chains with price match policies (oh boy do I have stories about that shit!)

Menarker · 08-05-2010, 10:24 PM

Customer: "What you mean I can't smoke inside the store? I just bought the damn thing here and I'm a regular customer!"
Cashier: "That is true. But we also sell condoms here. You understand what I'm saying?"

Viridis · 08-05-2010, 11:29 PM

I don't know if a link to Not Always Right would be cathartic or rage-inducing for you, Seil.

Fifthfiend · 08-05-2010, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Viridis

I don't know if a link to Not Always Right would be cathartic or rage-inducing for you, Seil.

Man you only link that at a guy after he's been in those retail trenches; this is like showing a guy what death by land mine looks like right before he parachutes into the war zone.

Terex4 · 08-05-2010, 11:37 PM

That list both amuses me greatly yet depresses me at the same time. My faith in humanity can be compared to the fate of Aldaraan at this point.

Azisien · 08-05-2010, 11:46 PM

My top retail pet peeves after almost 2 years in a game store:

No Sir, that game disc IS scratched
Seriously, holy shit. I have repaired and resurfaced more DVDs than you've ever seen in your life. I know how to look at a disc and assess it's damage level.

Know at least Vaguely what you want
I cannot count the number of inane requests I get. This is the Information Age, you should be able to have some rudimentary knowledge about what you want, or what you want to buy for your kids. Instead, I get this:
"Can I get a copy of that Mario game?"
"I need that game that plays on the TV."
"You know that game where you're this guy with a sword looking for vengeance or something?"

Though nerds, we are not the masters of the universe
Sometimes I just don't know the answer to a question. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't played every game EVER made, EVER. But the odd customer will still reply with a "What? You don't KNOW? But you work in a game store!"

Can I see this game? What's the price? With tax? Ad nauseum.
My most hated customer will repeat the bolded part over, and over, and over, for like a tenth of the games in the store. On top of that, he'll mutter and curse to himself, and not believe me when I say there's a game we don't have. Literally like "No we have NONE." "Really? None used?" "No." "None new?" "No." "Really?" In my head: "Are you trolling motherfucker?"

WHAT?! I don't get 95% of what I paid back for my 6-year old console and games?!
God damn it! I paid $400 for this xbox! I should get $300 back! Arrrrgh! You guys are such rip offs! Come on man, only 25 cents for Madden 05? I paid $40 for that!!!

That's all I can think of for now.

synkr0nized · 08-05-2010, 11:56 PM

Whenever I read stories about retail employees in these dumb situations, I'd love to go to where they work and behave like a proper customer who's not an idiot/ass/retard and maybe give them hope in customers.

Fifthfiend · 08-06-2010, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by synkr0nized

Whenever I read stories about retail employees in these dumb situations, I'd love to go to where they work and behave like a proper customer who's not an idiot/ass/retard and maybe give them hope in customers.

I'd like to go to their workplaces and go up to them and look them in the eye and then look down at their nametag and sort of squint at it and then real slowly look back up and then go "So hey there..." and then look back down at their nametag just to make sure and theeeeeeeen look back up "...Steve"

And then turn around and leave.

08-05-2010, 07:44 PM	#1
Seil Super stressed! Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: British Columbia Posts: 8,081	To Our Valued Customers I accepted the job at the local convenience store because I needed a bit of cash to pay some bills and pay for my expensive whiskey addiction. I had no idea that I'd be treated with serving you, the general public. Just a few points I'd like to touch on: I need you to read. There is a small deli attached to our store, but it's closed some of the time while the rest of the store is open. Yes, the door to the deli is open, but that's only because it's like a hojillion degrees outside and we need air circulation inside the store. You might have noticed the deli hours posted on the door. Or realize that the lights are off, the open sign turned off, all the sandwich boards pulled in and stacked against the wall. Or that there's no food on display. Any number of things that standing there, dinging the bell is not going to change. And when no one comes out of the deli, please don't take this opportunity to ask if the deli is open, because I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. On that note, slushies. It distinctly says on the machine to buy the cups first, then get your slushie. It's not an invatation to use the small, styrofoam coffee cups that are located next to the coffee machine - and when you get your cups, please don't sample the slushie mixes. There are other people waiting to use the machine, we know you're grabbing half a cup and drinking it there, just don't do it. Prices; I don't know how much the store down the way sells this. I don't have any control over pricing things. I'm not in charge, I just work here. So yelling at me about how much we charge for a bottle of pop or that you can get it for a dollar less somewhere else, or that it used to be cheaper when you were a kid forty years ago, I reallly can't do anything about it, so please stop yelling. We all love candy, sugary sweet stuff that it is. Though please don't grab it. That's why we have tongs there. Yes, the tongs are a pain in the ass and yes, we just want to grab some and go, but if you stick your hands in there you're dirtying the candy for everyone else. And it's gross. You're getting better about this, but I stil have to tell people to use the tongs before they stick their hand in there. So stop it. Lottery players, it's great that you've found something you can devote several hours to a day and spend over a hundred dollars with no return. But please know what you want, and for the love of Christ, check your tickets. We have a special machine for that, where you can check your tickets. Bringing in a stack of things that you've been collecting for years not only holds up the line and makes others angry, half of your tickets aren't winners and the rest have expired. On that note, smokers - know what you want. If you come in saying that you or your friend smokes smokes that come in a browny-orangey-yellow pack, then we're going to have to go across the wall and find it. I understand that you all have a sense of humor. Well, most of you do. But if possible, could you refrain from making jokes? If the scanner isn't working and I'm having trouble pricing your item for you, the best thing you can do is not say something like "Well, I guess that means it's free." The frquency of that being repeated on long days and the smugness of the person saying it is grounds for your slushy being dumped over top of you. Just stand by while we try to get our machines working. There's a few other personal peeves of mine, but for now, I'll leave you with that. So if you could work on that, then we can get along so much better and the process will go so much more smoothly.

08-05-2010, 10:24 PM	#4
Menarker OMG! WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW? Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 3,802	Customer: "What you mean I can't smoke inside the store? I just bought the damn thing here and I'm a regular customer!" Cashier: "That is true. But we also sell condoms here. You understand what I'm saying?" __________________ THE BIO OF RENNY TRESSERHORN THE BIOs OF POKEMON UMBRAL! Last edited by Menarker; 08-05-2010 at 10:29 PM.

08-05-2010, 11:56 PM	#9
synkr0nized synk-ism Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: throughout the Wired Posts: 6,861	I rarely see reason to blame the workers. Whenever I read stories about retail employees in these dumb situations, I'd love to go to where they work and behave like a proper customer who's not an idiot/ass/retard and maybe give them hope in customers. __________________ Find love.

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08-05-2010, 11:46 PM	#8
Azisien wat Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,177	My top retail pet peeves after almost 2 years in a game store: No Sir, that game disc IS scratched Seriously, holy shit. I have repaired and resurfaced more DVDs than you've ever seen in your life. I know how to look at a disc and assess it's damage level. Know at least Vaguely what you want I cannot count the number of inane requests I get. This is the Information Age, you should be able to have some rudimentary knowledge about what you want, or what you want to buy for your kids. Instead, I get this: "Can I get a copy of that Mario game?" "I need that game that plays on the TV." "You know that game where you're this guy with a sword looking for vengeance or something?" Though nerds, we are not the masters of the universe Sometimes I just don't know the answer to a question. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't played every game EVER made, EVER. But the odd customer will still reply with a "What? You don't KNOW? But you work in a game store!" Can I see this game? What's the price? With tax? Ad nauseum. My most hated customer will repeat the bolded part over, and over, and over, for like a tenth of the games in the store. On top of that, he'll mutter and curse to himself, and not believe me when I say there's a game we don't have. Literally like "No we have NONE." "Really? None used?" "No." "None new?" "No." "Really?" In my head: "Are you trolling motherfucker?" WHAT?! I don't get 95% of what I paid back for my 6-year old console and games?! God damn it! I paid $400 for this xbox! I should get $300 back! Arrrrgh! You guys are such rip offs! Come on man, only 25 cents for Madden 05? I paid $40 for that!!! That's all I can think of for now.