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Unread 01-24-2011, 09:25 AM   #1
Kerensky287
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WTF Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
and all the king's horses and all the king's men,
couldn't put Humpty together again.


So at what point did humanity collectively decide Humpty Dumpty was an egg? NOWHERE does it say he is anything less than a regular person who fell, after which resuscitation failed (probably because they tried to get horses to help, the bastards).

Also, I miss the Seil tag.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 10:33 AM   #2
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Well, if you were human, you'd have to fall prety goddamn far to have to be 'put together again'.

I mean, yeah if you feel headfirst, your skull might shatter. But other than that, if you're falling on a flat surface, I'm pretty sure you'd end up in one piece.

Hell, is it even possible to get torn apart (as the nursery rhyme implies), by the impact when falling at terminal velocity? Cause I'm pretty sure it isn't, not in earth's atmosphere.

So yeah, probably not a human. Unless the wall was several dozen stories high and the dude fell headfirst onto jagged rocks.

Edit:
Or the rhyme's events take place on the surface of a planet larger than earth, with a much thinner atmosphere (Though Dumpty would still have to fall pretty damn far). In which case Humpty Dumpty and the King's men are all probably aliens anyway. I suppose if they were chitinous, they'd shatter upon impact when falling from a great height.

Though wait a minute, if the king's men are aliens, then why do they have horses?

Last edited by Geminex; 01-24-2011 at 10:36 AM.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 11:30 AM   #3
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So there is an actual possibility that the King Horses are actually an Equine Alien breed that could very well be capable of performing first aid.

What DOES get my attetion though is just how tall was this wall and why as Mr Dumpty there in the first place?

Are we looking at a possible suicide here?
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Unread 01-24-2011, 11:39 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bells View Post
So there is an actual possibility that the King Horses are actually an Equine Alien breed that could very well be capable of performing first aid.

What DOES get my attetion though is just how tall was this wall and why as Mr Dumpty there in the first place?

Are we looking at a possible suicide here?
It's possible he was scaling it as part of an ongoing siege of somesort.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 11:50 AM   #5
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Which would actually explain why there were "all the king's men" around. This was a massive battle between two nations, or even two species!

Though wait, if it was a battle, why would everyone bother to try to help Humpty Dumpty.

Unless Humpty was some kind of hero? The Chitinous Chosen One!
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Unread 01-24-2011, 11:53 AM   #6
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Have you consider that maybe Humpty was a Spy captured by the King, and he tries to get away? Maybe as he was trying to get past the castle walls someone shot at him, not hitting but makign him loose his balance thus causing him to fall from said Wall

That would explain the interest of all the kings men, they were trying to save him so they could extract sensible information from him.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 12:52 PM   #7
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Or Humpy WAS the king.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 02:53 PM   #8
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Humpty Dumpty is an intertextual collage of our own fear of misunderstanding and fractured displacement. By ignoring the images of the text you miss out on critical contexts.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 02:58 PM   #9
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Shut up, we're just established that Humpty was a Chitinous Alien Spy-King, valiantly climbing the mountainous walls of the Fortress of Reptiliand Doom in the great Ulgurian revolution, before tragically being thwarted by the vile Reptiles just as his arduous, heroic climb was completed and he mounted the enemy's great fortification.


That
is what I call an image.
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Unread 01-24-2011, 03:28 PM   #10
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It's because he was an egg in the drawing that came with the first edition of Mother Goose's nursery rhymes!
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