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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:13 PM   #1
The Sevenshot Kid
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Default When Are You Allowed to Tell Someone They Suck?

Serious question here. When is it okay to let someone know that they suck at something they love doing? Not just "Oh, I don't like it" but actual "Holy shit, kill it with fire" bad. Is it alright to tell someone that they should probably try another less offensive hobby?
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THIS GUY. This guy is a dragon slayer.

Don't let him tell you anything else.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:14 PM   #2
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I'm not sure I'm allowed to say my answer.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:19 PM   #3
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I don't really think it's ever polite. Even if they're terrible, they'll end up equating the loss of a favored activity with you.

You could try suggesting something else, though. Or let it out slowly, and have them catch on. They might be hurt then, but there is some hope of catching back up with them.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:20 PM   #4
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Default Listen, Sevenshot, I think this whole "creating topics" thing you're TRYING to do...

RESIST...URGE...TO...SNARK...

Okay, I'll be serious about this.

Listen, if it's just a hobby and they suck at it, what's the purpose of telling them they suck if they genuinely love it? Being good at this hobby isn't even apparently a prerequisite to deriving joy from it so who cares? All you'll do is harsh their mellow, brah.

Unless their hobby is like, cooking, and they are forcing you to eat horribly burned crap, or something. Because in that case criticism could help them get better.

Like constructive criticism is great and all, if criticizing helps. If there's no real purpose to telling them they suck, though, then you are just being mean.

If you want to get into more specifics on what exactly the situation is, though, then that may change things.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:28 PM   #5
The Sevenshot Kid
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Default No "mom jokes" yet? I'm insulted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magus View Post
If you want to get into more specifics on what exactly the situation is, though, then that may change things.
Specifics? Alright, specifics. Let's say this person really likes to write. They absolutely love it and spend tons of time working on it but they make the simplest grammatical and spelling errors while delivering a stilted plot with uninteresting characters. They keep doing this because they think they'll be able to publish a successful novel.

I like to write and a lot of my friends like to write. I don't consider myself to be that good of a writer by any stretch of the imagination but I know people that are worse. And they refuse to edit or address constructive criticism. I honestly would like to help these friends of mine but what can you really do when they won't let you?

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I'm not sure I'm allowed to say my answer.
Is it "When Sevenshot starts a new thread"?
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Originally Posted by rpgdemon View Post
THIS GUY. This guy is a dragon slayer.

Don't let him tell you anything else.

Last edited by The Sevenshot Kid; 03-06-2012 at 11:31 PM.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:34 PM   #6
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If they ask you, "Hey, would you mind going through and critiquing this for me?" and then you ask "Do you want me to be brutally honest in my critique?" and they say "Yes." then you can completely get away with telling someone that they suck, as long as you explain in simple, inoffensive language why it sucks, and how they could improve it.

I have never lost a friend using this method.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:46 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 3stan View Post

I have never lost a friend using this method.
But they all secretly resent you for it...



ahem...

Anyway, it's a matter of POV. If they are in the hobby cause they like it, no use in pointing out bad flaws. If they are in it with a goal to be good at it, honest critique might be good (when clearly requested).

Now, if YOU have the same hobby as your friend and you noticed problems in his work, then, just going "oh good work man, that's pretty nice" is kinda dickish too .

My method? Look for 2 positives to say for every negative. Even if they are not equivalent... it softens the blow.
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Unread 03-06-2012, 11:49 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Sevenshot Kid View Post
Specifics? Alright, specifics. Let's say this person really likes to write. They absolutely love it and spend tons of time working on it but they make the simplest grammatical and spelling errors while delivering a stilted plot with uninteresting characters. They keep doing this because they think they'll be able to publish a successful novel.

I like to write and a lot of my friends like to write. I don't consider myself to be that good of a writer by any stretch of the imagination but I know people that are worse. And they refuse to edit or address constructive criticism. I honestly would like to help these friends of mine but what can you really do when they won't let you?



Is it "When Sevenshot starts a new thread"?
I'm not one to judge and I did highlight the section I mean to point out, but that's pretty much what most writing amounts to nowadays. Like the record business, the publishing industry also realizes that the people they publish don't exactly need to have any certain talent. Geez, look at Stephanie Meyer*.

*I realize this is beating a dead horse, but I still think the Twilight novels sound like she was writing her own girlish fantasy. Placing Bella in the position she was suppose to be in. It's vampire/werewolf fanfiction in novel form.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 12:26 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bells View Post
But they all secretly resent you for it...
Naw, I can see that little something die in their eyes when I tell them I didn't like something they wrote.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bells View Post
My method? Look for 2 positives to say for every negative. Even if they are not equivalent... it softens the blow.
That also tends to work for me. Especially if you start with the positive and work into the negative.
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Unread 03-07-2012, 12:56 AM   #10
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You are allowed to tell someone they suck if you're not getting enough pleasure from their blowjob.

All other situations are sub-optimal.
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