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Unread 05-02-2010, 05:12 PM   #1
Professor Smarmiarty
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Serious In this thread, SMB bitches about British elections and NEEDS YOU!
*Possibly newsy but I'm not getting no article, I'm just bitching*
I may be a little wasted after the local meeting on how shit this election is..
Aside from the fact that all elections are outright rigged, they could at least try to be a little less blatant about the rigging here.
See so we got two main parties- Labour the "left party" and conservatives "the right". But Labour is currently still "New Labour" which basically means "businessmen who pretend they are left-wing-ie we are lefties but we are fiscally responsible" so basically they are the conservatives.
BUT OH SHIT- THERE is a third party!!!!! OMG OMG OMG!
Because Britain is New Zealand in the 80s (I'll get to that ) they can recycle old elections tricks- this time the third party playing the "common sense" role. Now this is the first time in British history that there has been live televised leaders debate- which is totally suited to the common sense man because he reaffirms everybodies help believes. So the third party, the Liberal democrats, are polling well and eveyroen like DEMOCRACY SO GOOD

But we're in the 80s because unlike the rest of the civilised world who got rid of First Past the Post type voting methods then, Britain has kept them.
This basically means there are electroal districts, you vote for the man in your district, whoever wins the district gets the parliament seat, popular vote means nothing.
So our votes are worthless.

All this said, the real point of this thread is to discuss the best ways for me to spoil my ballot paper.
In the past I have A) Drawn a box with "no confidence" on the sheet and ticked that B) Voted for a "Ghosts of dead iraqis" box and C) Covered the paper with pictures of Camus smoking a cigarette.
I out of ideas this go around.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 05:58 PM   #2
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Vote Jedi. Always.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:19 PM   #3
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What the fuck? The jedi were not only rightwing fundamentalists they were also incredibly bad at even the simplest of tasks. Like if I wanted to design a task that I would need a jedi for, that no one else could do, it would be to hunt down Sith Lords. But an entire council of jedis can't detect what is stated in many sources to be one of the msot powerful Sith Lords of all time despite talking to him every fucking day because they too up their own beaucratic ass and someone filled out their positive identification of Palpatine on form 652AB and not 652AC with subsidiary document 6/001 in triplicate, black ink, blue paper.
Shit I'd rather vote the tories.

Edit: Also they clearly a military dictatorship. Why are we supposed to support them?
It's like the original trilogy- the rebel alliance are possibly the worst heroes ever. Why are we supposed to support them? They have no policies ,the make no case why the empire is bad, they just blow shit up for the hell of it and cause ruckus.
I always ALWAYS support the rebels and even I don't support the rebel alliance cause the empire seem to be humming along pretty efficiently, they don't do anything really outright worse than the rebels.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:22 PM   #4
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I always vote Dalek.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:25 PM   #5
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I say you vote Glenn Beck. Y'know, try and get him off of our hands.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:28 PM   #6
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I'd vote for myself, but I can't. Oh well.


I certainly won't vote for any of the 3 main parties, I don't like any of them. And they're still better than trash like the BNP and UKIP.

Will probably abstain from voting. Or take up that Jedi idea.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:30 PM   #7
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Fucking the page ads are now telling me to vote Lib Dems.
Dalek is an interesting vote but while I admire their coherence to a bold policy package with a clear theme, thus ignoring the hot button campaigning of many a party, I have a major difference of opinion on their policies regarding my future well being- re exterminate, exterminate- is not the direction I want to take this country quite yet.It's too young.

Glen Beck- I have recentely discovered that we both think democracy is inherentely flawed, me from the left, him from the right. Can we join forces, left meets right, east meets west, a tale of star crossed lovers, seperated by more than just an ocean, but by thier parties at war? A tale for those who dare to dream and dare to seek life outside their box. PG-13. Showing from Thursday- Maybe!

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I'd vote for myself, but I can't. Oh well.


I certainly won't vote for any of the 3 main parties, I don't like any of them. And they're still better than trash like the BNP and UKIP.

Will probably abstain from voting. Or take up that Jedi idea.
If you going to abstain go to the ballot place and trash the paper so it's recorded as a spoiled vote. Closest we've got to a no-confidence now that no outright ridiculous parties are coming.
You do realise Jedi would vote for the BNP don't you? They both like militia justice, have paranoid caracitures of those different from them while portraying themselves as good and righteous and both have token black men.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:31 PM   #8
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I say you vote Glenn Beck. Y'know, try and get him off of our hands.
I like this plan. In fact I say we invent a country, maybe a square mile or two in the middle of nowhere, and give it to him. He'd love it.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:32 PM   #9
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Vote Jedi. Always.
A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.

The 'jedi' party is obviously a sith trick.
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Unread 05-02-2010, 06:36 PM   #10
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A true jedi does not get involved directly in politics nor seize power for themselves. They merely offer guidance where it is sought.
They sure seem to do a lot of "advising" in the first movie- by which I mean just going around laser swording pretty much everybody while acting all smug about it.
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