Pokemon Umbral Theatre 36: We're Alone, We're Very Alone

[Aldurin]

I think it's to the point where Table-Pierce needs to officially be a paradox resulting from a deal between Pierce and Celebi (it's gotta feed it's pokeblock addiction somehow).

[Menarker]

She should have kept the Cyndaquil with her. Serves as a glorified lighter for her death candy... when she can find a mart that sells them that is.=3

Alternatively, teach Cyndaquil how to use Smokescreen at level 6, try to customize the smoke to be like her fave cigs and be a walking cloud of smoke.

[Astral Harmony]

Well, lemme see what I can do here...

Armored Bishoujo presents...an Astral Harmony production...

1.) Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer, Chapter 2:

Armored Bishoujo: "But first, would you like to know some things about the new Jurich Region and it's cast of characters?"

...

"I didn't think you would, but here they are anyways!"

- The Jurich Region: A very small archipelago. It has only one major city which manages to stay financially afloat by virtue of its shipping ports, which when combined with its relatively close proximity to the Honmyr Region, brings in a lot of business and money...at least enough to keep the abandoned buildings in the structural minority. The region lacks much of the fullness of a true Pokemon journey. There are only nine other towns, three Pokemon gyms, a very small colosseum and no Elite Four. Criminal organizations like Team Rocket have a laughable presense there, and this has become even less of a concern with the sheer number of Fear Vanguard units and bases all over the region. The Fear Vanguard uses Jurich as their primary base of operations due to closeness to Honmyr and because it is very difficult to setup a stronghold on Honmyr thanks to the Prideguard for the time being. There isn't much landmass here or even a variety of environments, and due to the overabundance of fresh and seawater from the lakes, rivers, and oceans, roughly 70% of all Pokemon biomass is Water Pokemon. But there are some interesting things here, like the appearance of certain Pokemon. The black Rapidash with violet flames is a sight to behold.

- Daisy Miltower: The 19-year old (pro?)tagonist of the series. As a lover of battle, she longs to feel the roaring conflict of violence with her own body, which is why she prefers to fight on her own, without Pokemon assistance. Her parents are Jason Miltower and Yuzuna Miltower, and she dislikes them enough to not-quite-secretly believe she was switched at birth and is Irene's daughter. She has little patience for things she doesn't like, which is why she's always at work avoiding Christophe and her parents. Daisy is noted for her dark green hair that she got from her father, and combined with Yuzuna's black hair, she is given the nickname Swamphair by friend and foe alike, and that makes it easy to determine who her friends are since she doesn't shoot them for calling her that. She wears clothes more for comfort instead of style, and thus her choice of attire is usually inappropriate, nonconversative, and often visually jarring. All she can think about, now that she's back in Jurich, is returning to Honmyr.

- Yuzuna Miltower: Daisy's 45-year old mother and Irene's younger sister. She dislikes Irene and the influence Irene has had on her daughter. Desiring a peaceful life for herself and her daughter is why she lives in Jurich and why she wants Daisy to marry Christophe.

- Christophe Coolidge: Daisy's 16-year old pathetic childhood friend who is unremarkable except in ways that piss Daisy off, meaning any chance their parents wanted of hooking the two kids up is less than nil. His only combat potential is that of a Pokemon Trainer, but all he has at his beck and call is a Level 5 Mareep with lower stats than most due to a genetic illness that left it much smaller and weaker and even screwed it over by giving it the Truant ability. So far, Christophe has never been able to win any battles, but he remains determined. Because if he loses perhaps his only slim chance with Daisy, what does he have left to look forward to in life?

- Angelique Seigan: Daisy's 20-year old non-stereotypical black friend. She is a descendant of one of the tribes that lived on Jurich since ancient times, and carries the special blood of her ancestry that allows her to communicate with Pokemon as one would with humans. This allows her to form bonds with them on a deeper level than most trainers. She can be considered a Pokemon Ranger and can fight as one, but has no affiliation with the organization and doesn't require a Styler like they do to communicate her feelings to Pokemon. She's always helpful and kind, and is one of the few people Daisy deeply cares for and trusts unconditionally.

- Chartreuse Mapleseed: Daisy's other girl friend and 18 years old. Her mother is a Vespiquen Pokebrid, and given how beautiful a Pokebrid she was, Chartreuse was determined to become one herself, saving every damn dollar she could until she actually managed to pull through. She and her mother are the only two Pokebrids on Jurich. One might think her mother would be scared about her young daughter going through the process of becoming a Pokebrid, but now her mother is quite jealous since she isn't unique anymore. They're still a close and loving pair, though. Chartreuse is the girlfriend of Brodic, the irresponsible Pokemon Gym leader of Barkvale City. They have a "fuck, fight, break up, get back together and fuck a whole lot more" kind of relationship, and Daisy and Angelique agree that they're perfect for each other. Chartreuse is another valuable friend to Daisy, and Daisy knows she can count on this friend to back her up no matter what. Chartreuse has three Pokebrid forms, her primary Lucario, a Blastoise form, and a Luxray form. She likes the color blue, as you can tell.

- Brodic Brooksfeld: A 20-year old Pokemon Gym leader from Barkvale Town and Chartreuse's boyfriend. He's a Rock Pokemon specialist, but because way too many trainers are packing Water types, he usually just leaves a bowl of his badges outside his gym for trainers to pick up. But if there's one thing he'll never abandon, it's Chartreuse, and wherever she goes, he's in tow. And he's actually a talented Trainer, so Daisy doesn't mind that at all.

- Javier Carlo: Runs the PokeMart is Barkvale Town located inside the Pokemon Center. This 23-year old latino gentleman is actually Daisy's boyfriend, and he knows his girlfriend inside and out. And despite his kind and gentle appearance and demeanor, he's clearly got Daisy's heart in his hand. Fortunately, he's not about to do her wrong. He might be decent in a scrap, but he's not a real Slayer...at least, he's not up to Daisy's potential. But Daisy wouldn't hold it against him. She'd be hard pressed to find a battle maniac like herself even amongst the guys in Honmyr. Besides, he's better at using his handsome face to help Daisy from the sidelines.

- Lucille Spottart: This brainy but pretty 17-year old girl works with the Fear Vanguard, but not for them. Because of her affiliation with them, she and Daisy are perhaps doomed to come across each other. But instead of finding an enemy, Daisy just might find another mighty friend. Lucille's know-how of engineering, her ability to function well under stress, and her knowledge of the Fear Vanguard's operations in Jurich will prove invaluable to Daisy's efforts.

Armored Bishoujo: "And that should be nearly the entire cast. Now it's time for the next ridiculous chapter of this ridiculous story."

- Scene 1: The western entrance of Barkvale Town.
*Daisy and Christophe arrive to encounter Ye Olde Tutorial Guy Who Is Old.*
Old Guy: "Hey, are you two on a Pokemon journey?"
Christophe: "Yes! We-"
Daisy: "-Were just separating. Christophe, entertain this fine upstanding senior citizen. I need to go see a girl about some ideas of mine."
Christophe: "Huh? Wait!"
*Daisy breaks out into a full-on sprint.*
Old Guy: "That girl a friend of yoursh?"
Christophe: "Yes."
Old Guy: "...Hate to break it to you, shunny, but you ain't hittin' that."
Christophe: "Hittin' that? I don't understand."
Old Guy: "Yeah, it'sh probably besht that you don't."

- Scene 2: The home of one Angelique Seigan.
*Daisy knocks on the door. Angelique's Father answers.*
Father: "Well, well, well, if it isn't Daisy! You've grown since the last time you've been here."
Daisy: "Especially in the chest, right? But I come here all the time when I'm in Jurich. You just don't come here much, either, huh. Is Angelique home?"
Father: "She certainly is, she certainly is. Hey, Angelique, guess who's come back?"
Angelique: "Pop, I told you not to bother me when I'm whittling this shaft and...Swamphair, what's goin' on, girl?"
Daisy: "S'up, Angelique. I see you're still as boring as usual."
Angelique: "I come from a long ling of tribesman in tune with nature and Pokemon. I was born boring. You look like you could use a few pounds on you. Dinner's 'bout ready."
Daisy: "Sounds bitchin', and I would like to talk to you about something."

- Scene 3: Angelique's bedroom.
Daisy: "Okay, long story short, I fucking love Honmyr. And mother's sanity be damned, I'm going the fuck back. So, I did my research and I think I know what I can do."
Angelique: "Oh, a crazy-ass plan! I love these things! Lay it on me, girl!"
Daisy: "I'm serious, here."
Angelique: "I'm serious, too. Really, I agree with you when you say my life is boring. Remember all the crazy shit we wind up in when you get a crazy idea? I love it, probably even more than you do. So, really, I'm on pins and needles waitin' to hear this shit."
Daisy: "I'm glad. Okay, my mother Irene's got plenty of enemies on her ass, and I'd like to help her out, but there's only one enemy of hers that I can do something about, right here in Jurich."
Angelique: "The Fear Vanguard?"
Daisy: "I didn't think your ties with nature gave you psychic powers."
Angelique: "They don't, but you've actually talked to me about this before. We just never did anything about it. I take it this time we're going to do something about it?"
Daisy: "Indeed, and that's why I wanna know where Chartreuse is."
Angelique: "Probably on Bro's dick."
Daisy: "You mean Brodic?"
Angelique: "Same difference. Not sure why you're asking me about her, though. The Pokemon Gym's closed, so what else would that mean?"
Daisy: "Chartreuse is pretty up-to-date on the goings on just about all over Jurich. If she's not here, then maybe Javier would know."
Angelique: "Huh? You mean you haven't seen him yet? Isn't he your boyfriend? He works at the PokeMart in the Pokemon Center and you would've had to pass it to get to my house here."
Daisy: "Yeah, I know, but I figure if I saw him first I'd be all over him and wouldn't have time to come see you and talk about this until tomorrow morning."
Angelique: "That guy's got you hooked, girl."
Daisy: "Yep, and I love every fuckin' minute of it. His perfect face, his brown skin, his accent that makes my knees weak, his tongue that he uses to-"
Angelique: "Yeah, gonna cut you off right there. C'mon, I'm sure he's dying to see you, too."

- Scene 4: PokeMart section of the Barkvale Town Pokemon Center.
*Daisy & Angelique step up to the counter.*
Daisy: "Jaaaaaaaaa-viiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."
Javier: "Daise! Holy mackerel, I'm so glad you're back. All 36 x 24 x 36 inches of you."
*Javier literally one-hands over the counter to embrace his girl. And this is what Christophe gets to walk into when he enters the PokeMart.*
Christophe: "What the heck, pardon my french?!"
Angelique: "Oh, it's you...uhhh..."
Christophe: "My name is Christophe."
Angelique: "Oh yeah, Swamphair told me about you. I uhh...don't think I'll tell you what she told me. You seem to not be in a good mood enough as is."
Christophe: "Swamphair?"
*Daisy forces Javier off of herself in order to draw a gun on Christophe.*
Daisy: "You...don't get to call me that."
Angelique: "Drawing a high caliber firearm in front of a bunch of kids 'n' medical staff. That's my Swamphair."
Javier: "Oh, speak of the devil. Just one moment."
*Javier returns to his position behind the counter, reaches down...and then lays something big and hard on the counter.*
Armored Bishoujo: "You may wanna pad your forehead for all the facepalms you're about to do."
Daisy: "My god, it's beautiful!"
Javier: "Impressive, eh? I'm rather proud of it, myself."
Angelique: "That's the biggest one I've ever seen...and I've seen quite a few."
Daisy: "Can I touch it?"
Javier: "Of course you can. It is yours, after all."
Angelique: "Look at how it shines. I bet he's polished it every single time he's touched it."
Javier: "Indeed I do, but I had to be pretty careful. This thing is kinda sensitive and if I touched it the wrong way, it probably would've gone off in my hand."
Angelique: "I think Daisy's about to lick it."
Daisy: "It'd be the best way to prove it belongs to me."
Christophe: "Isn't it unnecessarily large?"
Daisy: "The bigger, the better. Accept no compromise or substitutes."
Christophe: "But a firearm that size would probably tire your arms out after several minutes, not to mention the recoil from-"
Daisy: "Goddamnit, Chris, you've ruined the string of dialogue that could be misconstrued as something naughty."
Christophe: "What?"
Javier: "Oh, right, it's not the same but I guess I should do this the same way. Daise, can I see that gun for a moment?"
Daisy: "Sure."
*Javier takes the gun, then politely circles around to the front of the counter, takes Daisy by the right hand, and gets down on one knee. He gently places the shiny new gun in Daisy's right hand.*
Javier: "Daisy Miltower, would you do this 'pathetic, unworthy yet very lucky to have known you' bastard the greatest honor he could ever achieve in his entire life...and be his wife?"
Christophe: *gasp*
Daisy: "..."
Angelique: "Shouldn't this be done with a diamond ring or something?"
Chartreuse: "C'mon, Angelique, you know Swamphair, don't you? She's not a 'gold and gems' kind of girl."
Angelique: "Oh, Chartreuse, when'd you get here?"
Chartreuse: "Just in time for this strange yet unsurprising turn of events."
Daisy: "Yes."
Javier: "Huh?"
Daisy: "Hell the fuck yes, I'll marry you! C'mere, you son of a bitch!"
*Daisy glomps Javier while Christophe faints. Brodic enters the room.*
Brodic: "Grats, you two crazy fuckers. Chartreuse, I guess we're next, huh?"
Chartreuse: "In all honesty, I can't believe ol' Swamphair beat me to the punch. You're slipping, Brodic. You're slipping bad."
*Christophe comes to.*
Chartreuse: "You alright there, Pokey?"
Christophe: "I...I can't believe this..."
Daisy: "I'm so happy, Javier! I knew I was right to give my virginity to you!"
*Christophe faints again.*

- Scene 5: Pokemon Center general patients room.
*Christophe comes to...again.*
Christophe: "Ugh...where the heck, pardon my french, am I?"
Nurse Joy #9001: "Oh, you've regained consciousness. How do you feel?"
Christophe: "I...wait, where is everyone?"
Nurse Joy #9001: "I assume you mean the group you were with. I think they've already left the city. I'm sorry they abandoned you."
Christophe: "..."
Nurse Joy #9001: "You're...going to faint again, aren't you?"
Christophe: "It sounds like a viable option."
Nurse Joy #9001: "Would you perhaps like some dinner before you pass out? I think food might help you feel much better."
*Nurse Joy #9001 leaves Christophe alone.*
Christophe: "...I...I'm not going to give up. I...just cannot accept this."

- Scene 6: Northern outskirts of Barkvale Town.
*Daisy, Angelique, Chartreuse, Javier and Brodic pass the gate and then sort of huddle up.*
Chartreuse: "I feel bad about Christophe."
Angelique: "Do you wanna go back and get him?"
Chartreuse: "I feel bad about being too lazy to go get Christophe."
Angelique: "Maybe we could've left a message for him."
Chartreuse: "I feel bad about not wanting Christophe to know where we are or where we're going for the rest of our natural lives."
Daisy: "That's my bitch."
Angelique: "I'm surprised at how well you organized us, Daisy. Brodic's closed down the gym indefinitely and Javier's quit his job after he gets his paid vacation over with, all for this crazy plan of yours."
Brodic: "There's no point to that Pokemon Gym, really. I pretty much give badges away for free these days, and sometimes the trainers passing through won't even stop by to pick one up."
Javier: "I never really cared for being a PokeMart clerk. Besides, my girl said 'yes'. Wherever she goes from now on, she's gonna have her man with her."
Daisy: "That's my bitch."
Brodic: "So we're really going to Honmyr by taking on the Fear Vanguard to appeal to this Irene Crosswald?"
Daisy: "Yep, and I know she'll help me, too, but I need to find a way to be sure."
Chartreuse: "And we have to go to Saltspray City to contact her?"
Daisy: "Not specifically there, but there're some problems. First off, there are a lot of places in Jurich where I can acquire secure international communications. But, there're only two sources I can use, and only one of those that won't cause trouble."
Brodic: "The Pokemon Center in the city."
Chartreuse: "How does one get in trouble using the communications in the Pokemon Center?"
Daisy: "No, that's the safe option. The unsafe option is raiding a Fear Vanguard outpost."
Angelique: "Don't you plan on doing that anyways?"
Daisy: "Yeah, but there's no sense in startin' shit until I've got all my other Psyducks in a row. I just want to talk to Irene before I do anything monumentally stupid."
Chartreuse: "As opposed to doing something monumentally stupid first and hoping shit just falls into place."
Daisy: "This time, it's just too fuckin' important. Don't worry, I'll make up for it, definitely. Going toe-to-toe with a paramilitary organization is one of the bolder things I've done in my life."
Chartreuse: "Just one of them, huh?"
Daisy: *pulls up her tankini top* "Well, there's this tattoo I got-"
Javier: "We get it, Daise. So I guess we'll need some money for this trip, huh?"
Daisy: "Eh, we'll just get it the way most people do it."
Angelique: "By beating it out of the many Pokemon Trainers we'll no doubt be caught by, right?"
Daisy: "That's my bitch."
Brodic: "Chartreuse is your bitch, then Javier is your bitch, now Angelique is your bitch. I feel left out."
Chartreuse: "Don't worry, Brodic. You're my bitch."
Daisy: "And Chartreuse's bitches are my bitches 'cause she's my bitch. Now let's go, bitches!"

[Astral Harmony]

Text was too long so hadda double-post. I will try to have Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer up tomorrow and the Haremon battles set up.

Day 4, Interval 1 ~ Impact's Worst Nightmare

Impact: *yawn* "Okay, where am I now? Shannon? Hey, Sha-oh hell no."
*there's a figure staring at Impact from just around a brick wall*
Impact: "If fate is kind, then you're going to kill me while my partner isn't around."
Mysterious Shadow: "..."
Impact: "But if fate is cruel as it is often, you're actually yet another partner."
Mysterious Shadow: "..."
Impact: "Just come out of there. We might as well talk while I don't have a damn mission for now."
Mysterious Shadow: "..."
Impact: "Look, I know it's you, Lola. I can see the sienna text color in your ellipsis."
Lola: "F-fine."
Impact: "Okay, let me start off by saying this doesn't make any damn sense whatsoever. You and Renny are practically joined at the genitalia these days, right? Why in the hell are you here, pacted to me?"
Lola: "Renny's...he's gone missing."
Impact: "I now declare today to be Epic Winning Day."
Lola: "Yeah, I thought you'd might think like that."
Impact: "So, I guess you want me...ergh, us, to go find the li'l fucker."
Lola: "Do I want you to help me? Yes, of course. Am I going to ask for your help? Not really, no."
Impact: "A little proud, aren't we?"
Lola: "You and him would be bitter enemies if Pierce didn't happen to still exist to be your bitter enemy instead."
Impact: "Look, can we just go find Renny already?"
Lola: "I thought you decided that today was Epic Winning Day, not Opposite Day."
Impact: "I'd rather have you in a place where I can afford to kill you instead of being forced to put up with you. And I'm getting tired of the others just leaving me where I lay. So hike up that miniskirt and start runnin', woman. And no cutesy techno beats when we run into Noise."

*a couple screens later*
Lola: "Huh. A Support Reaper."
Impact: "Yep. You handle this."
Lola: "What?"
Impact: "You're a Harrier Reaper, right? Handle your damn boy."
Lola: "But I'm not a Reaper anymore."
Impact: "Ugh, seriously?"
Lola: "Do you see kickass black wings on my back?"
Impact: "No, not the black wings! They actually made you delightfully attractive! ...Y'know, besides the tight clothes and the fluffy ears and the large-"
Lola: "I think the audience gets it already, Impact. I may not be a Reaper anymore, but...I dunno, I'll try something."
Impact: "You mean like a-"
Lola: "Not a blow job, Impact. Never a blow job."
*Lola tries talking to the Support Reaper*
Impact: "What'd he say?"
Lola: "He said he wants someone to watch this spot so he can use the bathroom."
Impact: "...Is that your final answer?"
Lola: "You'd better handle it. I don't like lying to people."
Impact: "I'm deploying."
*Impact convinced the Support Reaper to abandon his post*
Impact: "Done. Off we go."

*Next scene, already!*
Impact: "Company, halt."
Lola: "Another Reaper, huh? Well, let's see what this asshole is all about."
*Impact and Lola address the Support Reaper.*
Reaper: "Hey there, Lola. Lookin' too fine for prime time as always."
Impact: "Uh...what?"
Lola: "It gets lonely for some of these guys when...y'know, nearly the entire city can't see 'em."
Impact: "Gross. But still, one would think he'd set his standards higher."
Lola: "Well, I never!"
Impact: "Yep, and you never will. Hey, cockbite, what'll it take for you to let us through?"
Reaper: "Lola can go right through with ease since she's a...wait, what happened to your wings?"
Lola: "Renny's gone. Lost my Reaper status. Not even getting worker's compensation. How's it going with you?"
Reaper: "So...does that mean you're single?"
Lola: "Even if Renny was erased, I'm sure he's just back up in the Pokemon World. Look, I'm kind of in a hurry, here."
Reaper: "Well, much as I'd bend over backwards just to see you smile, I can't just clear my wall without some effort on your part. Tell you what, I'll clear my wall if you come back all sexed up in some D+B."
Impact: "I'm not sexing myself up for anybody, especially some-"
Reaper: "Not you, dumbshit! Why the hell would anyone wanna see some jackoff in D+B?!"
Impact: "What the hell is D+B? Some new kind of S&M?"
Lola: "Impact, D+B is a clothing store. Y'know, for fashion? Nevermind, I'm clearly stupid for trying to expect you to know about fashion."
Impact: "So all we do is buy some clothes and have you model the damn things for him, right? Let's get to it."
Lola: "Guess I've got no choice."

*At D+B*
Impact: "The hell does D+B even mean? Dirigibles + Biplanes? Dudes + Bitches?"
Lola: "It means shut up and just stand there while I go change."
Impact: "Just hurry up. All you have to do is change."
*five minutes later*
Lola: "So uhhh...I know you're not Renny, but this kind of thing is important for girls. How do I look?"
Impact: "..."
Lola: "..."
Impact: "...Wow..."
Lola: "Oh uhhh heh heh. So I guess I wear it well."
Impact: "More like I was thinking you couldn't have possibly looked any sluttier wearing your nurse uniform but I guess surprises lurk around every corner in the Hungry World."
Lola: "And to think I placed any faith in you as a man. Let's just go."
Impact: "Can't you just wait until we get back there? We'll run into some more Noise. Don't tell me you're going to fight in that."
Lola: "Why not? It's powerful."
Impact: "What're you talking about?"
Lola: "Considering how many Noise you destroy and how many food items you consume to gain levels and power, I'm sure you would've learned about other methods of improving as a Player. Clothing items are for more than just rockin' out with your jock out. They can boost your stats like HP, attack power and defense, and they all have special effects that can be pointed out by the various store clerks if you make nice-nice with them. Oh, but you need to meet the Bravery requirements to put on the various articles."
Impact: "I'd like to think I'm plenty brave."
Lola: "Being brave enough to charge the Knomere head on is one thing, Impact. Being brave enough to wear eye-catching clothes like this in public is entirely another. You can take on an Omnisroth all by yourself without wetting your pants, sure. But can you do it while putting up with the embarrassment of wearing a parka that comes complete with bunny ears on it?"
Impact: "Uhh...you might just have a point there."
Lola: "There are a lot of people in Honmyr courageous enough to take on multiple enemies at once, but the list of applicants is much smaller when it comes to wearing embarrassing clothes. Anyways, you should think about it."
Impact: "Well, what kind of clothes should I wear?"
Lola: "You might be a little too old for stuff like Jupiter of the Monkey or Tiger Punks. Maybe Dragon Couture?"
Impact: "The fuck do these names come from?"
Lola: "I think they're based on the zodiac. D+B for the cow, Jupiter of the Monkey for the monkey, Tiger Punks for the tiger. Dunno about places like Lapin Angelique, though."
Impact: "I think that would be for the rabbit. There's one of those in the zodiac, isn't there? I'd hate to think there's such a thing as a Year of the Goth Loli."
Lola: "Ha ha ha, yeah. Hey, we're having a decent conversation here."
Impact: "Yeah, and that's not good. We'd better find Renny, fast."
Lola: "You know, it's not bad to show off your human side, once in a while!"

*Back to the Reaper*
Impact: "Alright, Pervy McPerverton, here's your masturbation material."
Lola: "Gee, thanks, Impact, just kill the atmosphere, why don't'cha?"
Reaper: "..."
Lola: "Are...you alright?"
Reaper: "..."
Impact: "You over-fanserviced him, Lola."
Lola: "Doesn't that usually involve him flying off into the sky because of the sheer force of blood rushing out of his nose?"
Impact: "Maybe he bled himself dry in anticipation while we were gone."
Reaper: "..."
Impact: "Look, fucker, open the goddamn wall."
Reaper: *takes picture of Lola* "Wall clear." *runs like hell*
Lola: "He took a picture of me, Impact."
Impact: "That he did."
Lola: "Why did he take a picture of me?"
Impact: "I think he intends to do something with it."
Lola: "Do I want to know what he's going to do?"
Impact: "I'd say no, but I think you already have an accurate idea."
Lola: *sigh* "This day has been all kinds of shit."
Impact: "Yep, that about sums up my entire week here so far."

*On the other side of the cleared wall...*
Lola: "Another damn Reaper?!"
Impact: "Calm down. Not even Charlotte was this bad. And that's saying something."
Lola: "I'm never going to find Renny at this rate."
Impact: "You never know. This one might be easy."
Reaper: "If you want to pass through my wall, you need to defeat over nine-thousand Noise."
Lola: "But that's impossible!"
*A Memebus crashes into the Reaper, killing him and destroying the wall.*
Impact: "See? Easy."
Lola: "...Thank you, oh Great Dragonwinged Angel Hyacinth."

*And finally...*
Lola: "Hey, it's Charlotte and Discord."
Impact: "One of you switch with me. Now."
Charlotte: "What's the magic word?"
Impact: "Goddammit."
Charlotte: "Shit, you're on to me! But I still won't swap out Discord for Lola. Or myself for you. Discord's much less obnoxious than the both of you."
Impact: "Fine, then I'll swap Lola out for Shannon. Where's she at?"
Discord: "Dunno. You see, it used to be Shannon and me with Charlotte on the sidelines. There's this rule that if you don't have a partner for a total of seven minutes, you automatically get erased, but since Charlotte isn't technically a Player, she's got immunity. We eventually bumped into Irene, who agreed to take Shannon off our hands."
Impact: "Hmph. I guess I'll have to find them later, then. Well, have either of you picked up a mission?"
Discord: "Charlotte can't get them, but I haven't, so we decided to try and figure out who the Composer is."
Charlotte: "I don't want to be here any longer than I have to, so if I can off the Composer, take their place, and bring you back to life then, I save a few days that I could be using killing people I don't like. That list just keeps increasing and if I don't get back on the ball..."
Impact: "Are there any clues where this Composer might be?"
Lola: "The Shibuya River."
Charlotte: "Huh. I figured a Harrier Reaper might know."
Impact: "What's the Shibuya River?"
Lola: "You could think of it as the control room for this side of the Shibuya Reality Shard. There, the Composer handles the business of managing the Reaper's Game."
Impact: "Then that's where we need to go, especially if we're going to find Renny so I can dump you back onto him. Where is it?"
Lola: "It's beneath the station overpass. Let's go."
Charlotte: "Hold it."
Impact: "Something wrong?"
Charlotte: "Impact, go ahead and switch with me. Lola and I will go handle this Shibuya River bullshit."
Impact: "So...you don't mind having Lola with you?"
Charlotte: "Of course I fucking mind, you cocksmuggler."
Impact: "Cocksmuggler?"
Charlotte: "Yes. You smuggle penis. Anyways, I'll use my powers that transcend the rules and Lola's knowledge of the Reaper's network to infiltrate the Shibuya River and take down the Composer. With us two, it should be cake. You and Discord can focus on continuing to grow in power and completing the missions as they come up, so that you can beat the game if we should happen to fail."
Impact: "Okay, I got it. Just don't do anything stupid that will kill my chances at resurrection."
Charlotte: "Oh, piss off. You're lucky there's no way to resurrect you as a Jynx or Gothita...is there?"
Lola: "We could maybe look into that later."
Impact: "Will you just go already? Me and Discord should get to training."
*Charlotte & Lola leave.*
Discord: "So, off we go to eat, drink, and make corpses, right?"
Impact: "Yeah, but I'd like to figure out who murdered me."
Discord: "Okay, but...how can we find out who murdered you when we're here? This isn't Honmyr. This isn't even the main part of the Hungry World. We're stuck in some Reality Shard. You can't even investigate the scene of your own murder."

Impact: "No, but I can investigate other things, thanks to Irene. It looks like a naked woman was the one who did me in."
Discord: "A naked woman, eh? So Leprihare killed you? What happened, did you ask for something even too sexually intense for her?"
Impact: "That was, like, a decade ago or something. No, this was a regular woman."
Discord: "Oh, a regular woman? My widdle Impact is gwowing up."
Impact: "Knock it the fuck off, will ya?"
Discord: "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, regular women usually don't murder people while naked. Do regular women murder people at all?"
Impact: "They do in an Armored Bishoujo game. But still, even for that asshole, naked women who murder people is kind of a new thing."
Armored Bishoujo: "Not that it doesn't come to mind very often."
Discord: "While that does narrow it down, unfortunately it narrows it down too much. I can't think of anyone. I mean, I can think of a lot of people who would want to murder you, but who would do it while naked?"
Impact: "...I think I might know."
Discord: "I see. Well, are we able to do anything about that here?"
Impact: "Yeah. I'm going to need to talk to Irene, and since she has another very strong piece of evidence with her that she doesn't even know about, all the better that we find her fast."

[Astral Harmony]

Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer 2 ~ The Pokemon Ranger Tutorial

- Scene 1: Hotel DuKirk in Saltspray City. Daisy and Angelique are the only two there.
Daisy: "She's a bitch."
Angelique: "Who's a bitch?"
Daisy: "I called her a bitch right in front of her tits."
Angelique: "Ummm..."
Daisy: "She has nice ass."
Angelique: "Okay, I don't have the Internet and even I know you're just quoting Tourettes Guy."
Daisy: "Fuck you, kid, you're a dick."
Angelique: "Look, I know you're bored, but I'm sure they'll be right back very soon."
*The door opens and the others enter.*
Angelique: "Speak of the devils. How'd it go, you guys?"
Chartreuse: "Daisy, might I have the honor of presenting your Pokemon?"
Daisy: "Just gimme the damn things. I still believe I won't need Pokemon to handle any trouble with the Fear Vanguard fuckers, but I guess if Javier insists."
Javier: "Yes, I insist. Besides, if you weren't going to use that Cyndaquil, you should have just released it."
Daisy: "I don't think the game rules allows an officially licensed Pokemon Trainer like me to release their only remaining Pokemon. And it's a Typhlosion now, thanks to all of Chartreuse's Rare Candy."
Javier: "Woof. That's a fuckton of Rare Candy."
Chartreuse: "I am a Pokemon Trainer, but all of my Pokemon have the Pickup Ability and they're too low level to do me any good in a battle situation. So I was able to grind Golgothica's levels and those of Daisy's other new Pokemon."
Brodic: "Well, if Daisy's ready, does that mean we can finally go to the Fear Vanguard base?"
Angelique: "We can, but we should be careful on the city streets. I saw Christophe out there yesterday. I think he's looking for Daisy."
Daisy: "That worthless fuck really needs to learn when to take a hint. Let's just go. If he bothers me out on the streets, I'll make sure he gets the hint this time. Minus the 'N'."

- Scene 2: On the road to the nearby Fear Vanguard outpost.
Daisy: "According to information fed to us by Aunt Irene before I came back, there's this one chick named Lucille Spottart. Brainy girl type, you know. Turns out she's affiliated with Irene and trying to secure a way to Honmyr herself."
Brodic: "And she works with the Fear Vanguard? This probably isn't safe."
Daisy: "Yep, she works with them, but doesn't work for them. Kind of a mutually benefitial thing. I guess Lucille's using them to get in contact with this Kaguya chick who the Fear Vanguard doesn't mind so much."
Chartreuse: "Guys, I think we're nearing the end of the safe road. Vanguard types dead ahead."
FV #1: "Hey, this is a restricted area and the tour's not for another two hours. You kids run along home now."
Daisy: "Kid? Bitch, I'm probably older than you are."
FV #1: "Well, that was kind of mean. Wait, you look kind of familiar."
Javier: "I think I'm not going to like where this is going."
FV #1: "Dude, doesn't she look familiar to you?"
FV #2: "Yep, looks just like that poster on the wall beside you."
Daisy: "Hey, my ass isn't that fat!"
Angelique: "Where'd that come from, Swamphair? Your ass even in that photo...or in the text below it. That's only a mug shot."
Daisy: "Enough of this. We need to get into that...single very small building over there. Seriously, one single little building? I bet this fuckin' fence here took more money and effort than the structure it's protecting."
FV #1: "Well, can't say I didn't see this one coming. Dude. Radio. Phone the others."
FV #2: "Yeah, uhh...this radio's been a piece of shit for two weeks now."
FV #1: "If it doesn't work, why did we bring it with us?"
FV #2: "To uhhh...give the illusion that we could radio someone. Then again, there's nobody even back there. Just that one chick."
Chartreuse: "These people make my brain hurt. I didn't know I have enough brain to experience agony, but there it is."
Daisy: "End these fuckers, already!"

- Scene 3: To battle!
*The two FV units deploy two Pokemon each.*
Daisy: "Alright, I know I said I'd lead the assaults against any Fear Vanguard troopers, but I have no freakin' clue how you fight, Angelique."
Angelique: "I know that. I didn't teach you because you would not have remembered it outside of battle. Now that we're fighting, let me teach you how I fight."
*Daisy picks the actions for the rest of the team, including herself.*
Daisy: "Angelique, how do I do you?"
Angelique: "Well, you might start me off with a few strong drinks..."
Daisy: "Not like that, you damn...urgh, I mean 'how do I instruct you to attack?'"
Angelique: "Alright, but pay careful attention. My only attack is comparable in damage to a Slayer with an Astral type. And it only uses 6 AP as opposed to 8 for Slayers like you."
Daisy: "Nice."
Angelique: "Yeah, but I have no other attacks, no defenses and no immunities. I can't equip accessories or consummables or nothin'."
Daisy: "Sounds like you got the short end of the stick."
Angelique: "And you'd be right. But us Pokemon Rangers are actually very deadly and versatile once we've got some Pokemon backing us up. We don't use Pokemon like Trainers or Snaggers. Instead we use them to add other types to our attacks, defense bonuses, immunity bonuses, and we can carry out PokeAssists."
Daisy: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, too much all at once. You don't use your Pokemon like the other classes?"
Angelique: "Nope. Basically all of my 'befriended' Pokemon will be deployed all at once. They'll have a percentage which will be their energy level, and this energy level drops slowly each turn. I'll also spend some of their energy to do their attack types and use PokeAssists. Once their energy drops to 0%, they're automatically released. Just by having them around, I gain damage reduction when hit by attack types that match my befriended Pokemon. I also gain immunity from the related status effects. And it's a perfect defense and immunity if I have two of the same type. For example, if I have an Ice type Pokemon, I take 50% less damage from Ice type attacks. I also have 50% Immunity to Ice related status effects like Frozen, Frostbite, Deep Freeze and even Snowstorm weather. And if I have two Ice type Pokemon, it's 100% protection and immunity to Ice attacks and status effects. However, if the Pokemon is actually a dual type, I gain 25% damage reduction and status immunity in both of the types instead."
Daisy: "That's pretty fuckin' boss, Angelique. So what about these type attacks and PokeAssists?"
Angelique: "When I use a type attack, it relies on my Atk or SpAtk stat plus the Pokemon's Atk or SpAtk to deal the damage, but the type will be for the Pokemon who is assisting me, and because of that, STAB also applies. If I have two Pokemon of the same type, I can use both of them, add all three of our offensive stats and deal double STAB."
Daisy: "That's unreal!"
Angelique: "Yes, it is. But it burns through my Pokemon's energy pretty damn quick."
Daisy: "What about these PokeAssists?"
Angelique: "For each type of Pokemon, there's about eight different PokeAssists, and only certain Pokemon have certain ones. Dual-type Pokemon will have PokeAssists from both of their types, which might make them more versatile, but less specialized. PokeAssists can do all kinds of cool shit, like create a Snowstorm that only damages the enemy and cannot be replaced by Sunny Day, or poison multiple enemies with an incurable toxin. PokeAssists burn through energy fast, too. So it ends up falling down to the Ranger's personal preferences in combat. Do I go all out in offense by using my type attacks and PokeAssists, or do I try to stretch out my Pokemon's potential by letting them sit there and take advantage of their type defense and status immunities for as long as their energy lasts?"
Daisy: "What happens if you run out of Pokemon? Can you get more?"
Angelique: "I can get them from the enemy just like a Snagger can, but their remaining percentage of health determines how much energy they'll have when I manage to get one. However, my Empathy skill that allows me to do this is most effective when the Pokemon is weaker. Unfortunately, I can't restore energy, but I can without any kind of penalty dismiss a Pokemon to open a slot for another one I intend to get. And that's about the gist of how a Pokemon Ranger does battle."
Daisy: "So how do you get Pokemon beforehand?"
Angelique: "Before the mission and occasionally between battles, I should be able to encounter some wild Pokemon I can befriend for the conflicts ahead. Right now I grabbed a Primeape, a Carnivine, a Gardevoire, a Hypno, a Dunsparse and a Lopunny. So I'm totally protected from Normal and Psychic type attacks with some defense to Fighting and Grass type stuff. There's generally a list of Pokemon I can befriend and I can choose any combination that I prefer."
Daisy: "Okay. So, what about Signature Techniques? You rely on your Pokemon for those, too?"
Angelique: "Well, considering I've never been immersed in the Rezonscape as you call it, I've never experienced the power of Rage or anything like that. But since I'm an accomplished fighter on my own, I'll probably just have my own Signature Techniques. After all, it'd kind of suck to have abilities like that be unavailable just because I have no Pokemon."
Daisy: "Makes sense to me. Anyways, this is a really one-sided struggle so I'm sure I'll pick up the finer points of how you fight as we go along."

- Scene 4: Fear Vanguard Outpost #6. After a flawlessly successful battle despite Daisy's unfamiliarity with Pokemon Rangers and leading a team into battle, Daisy and the others approach the only building on the premises.
Daisy: [COLOR="pink"]"God, this place looks even smaller close up."COLOR]
Chartreuse: "They call this an outpost? It's barely a glorified shack."
Javier: "Somebody's inside."
Daisy: "Should be Lucille. I'll go check it out."
Brodic: "Scream if there's any trouble."
Daisy: "..."
Brodic: "Fine, shoot your gun several times if there's trouble, then."
Angelique: "And we'll come running only to find out you shot the trouble."
Javier: "We'll make sure nobody comes to ruin your mojo, though."
Daisy: "Cool."
*Daisy carefully opens up the outpost door.*
Lucille: "Hmm? That was quick. I was sure I sent you out for those tools twelve minutes and thirty-two seconds ago and...ah, I see that you're not affiliated with the Fear Vanguard."
Daisy: "Well, I'm Daisy Miltower and-"
Lucille: "Oh, the Succubus."
Daisy: "Suh-...Succubus?"
Lucille: "That's what the Vangs call you. I guess because you're beautiful but dangerous to one's health. I dunno, either. So c'mon, out with it."
Daisy: "Huh?"
Lucille: "Speak, damn you. You came here for a reason, right, and I'm sure it isn't tea."
Daisy: "Well, uhhh...turns out I can't use the Pokemon Centers to make international calls because of my mom and-"
Lucille: "Ah. You trying to call Irene Crosswald, eh?"
Daisy: "Huh? How did you-?"
Lucille: "The Vangs have a dossier on you. They don't plan to pursue you, but they recognize the potential of leverage you might give them when it comes to handling Irene."
Daisy: "That's absurd. As far as I know, PATCA and the Fear Vanguard aren't the ones fighting each other. It's the Honmyr Prideguard."
Lucille: "Hence the reason you're not being pursued. But I'm afraid you're out of luck. The communications system here is a nine-hundred pound metallic paperweight. Could probably get the Tetris game program up and running."
Daisy: "Oh, right, you said something about tools."
Lucille: "Yeah, but I can't really count on those idiots for this. This would be the third time I've sent them out into the city for tools, and they haven't come back with the right ones. Look, since you're here, would you like to work together?"
Daisy: "Work together? But if the comms system here doesn't work, I'm not staying."
Lucille: "Yeah, I know. You'd want to go to a place where one does work. I've decided to go with you there."
Daisy: "You're...coming with me?"
Lucille: "There's really no point to me being here. No point to working with these Vangs, either. I've been hoping to go to Honmyr for quite some time now, and I figure if I help you out, then maybe..."
Daisy: "And I should trust you why?"
Lucille: "Because you'll just keep recklessly charging into danger with no possible chance of going to Honmyr without me?"
Daisy: "I'd punch you if I didn't know you were right. Fine, but I'm watching you."

- Scene 5: Back at the fence.
Javier: "Daisy!"
Daisy: "S'up, bitch?"
Javier: "You! You-you-you!"
Daisy: "You sound like a broken record. You know what I do to broken records, right? I break them some more."
Javier: "..."
Daisy: "Yes, I know it doesn't make them play better. A lot of CDs have paid for this knowledge...and my rage."
Javier: "Look, why the hell're you leaving me for another woman?"
Daisy: "Who. Lucille here?"
Javier: "Look, I'll try better! Seriously, I will!"
Daisy: *vile grin* "Nope, you're too late. I've decided I just can't handle a man who gives me a shiny new gun but forgets the cigarettes. And I've always been totally hot for overalls."
Javier: "But! But!"
Daisy: "You know, if you were cool about this, I would've just brought her into our relationship but no~o~o~o~o, you didn't want two girls licking your-"
Lucille: *sigh* "Look, I know you're going for some piss poor shtick comedy here, but we really must go. It won't take long for the other guys to come back."
Daisy: "Ugh, fine. Yeah, communications are shit here, so we're hitting up another Fear Vanguard base...I think."
Chartreuse: "Y'know, I just thought of this, but...why doesn't someone else just try to call Honmyr from the Pokemon Center? It doesn't have to be Swamphair, right?"
Daisy: "Sounds good, but getting in contact with Irene isn't going to help us much when it comes to actually leaving for Honmyr. My mom's militant about this shit. I can't take a boat, I can't take a plane, and the Fly and Surf HMs don't exist here. Besides, the risk of trying to have a Pokemon fly or swim me across the ocean is a little too great unless the currents are very good."
Lucille: "Which means Port Alcadia."
Daisy: "I just said we couldn't take a damn boat."
Lucille: "Not a civilian boat, anyways. We're going to have to sneak onboard a Fear Vanguard vessel, and those go to Honmyr all the time. We'll just need to locate a schedule."
Daisy: "Cool. Where to?"
Lucille: "There's a small base at Port Alcadia, and it would certainly have the schedule, but if we're discovered, they might lock down the port and we won't be able to get to Honmyr. We should try Outpost #7. It's due north of Saltspray City."
Daisy: "What can we expect as far as resistence is concerned?"
Lucille: "A whole lot of not very much. Outposts are more like redundant systems as far as the Fear Vanguard is concerned, and as you can see, they really don't give a damn about them since, y'know, nothing happens in Jurich. Well, except for the Succubus."
Daisy: "Y'know, now that I think about it, I prefer Succubus to Swamphair. From now on, I shall be named Succubus!"
Chartreuse: "Heh, maybe Swamphair Succubus."
Angelique: "Daisy the Disgruntled Trainer is now Daisy the Swamphair Succubus."
Daisy: "You can't change the title of this series in the second episode, asshole!"

Javier: "Let's get back to something a little less...uhhh, well, fuckin' stupid, alright?"
Daisy: "Like bringing another girl into the relationship?"
Javier: "...Perhaps later. Lucille, you probably know why we're all trying to get to Honmyr, right?"
Lucille: "The Swamphair Succubus, definitely. As for the rest of you, I just assumed she has some kind of infectious personality that makes you all stick with her through thick and thin. You know, like most anime RPGs."
Angelique: "Well, that is true for my case."
Javier: "We've all got our individual reasons, but actually I'm more interested in why you wish to go to Honmyr."
Lucille: "I'm trying to investigate the mysteries of the Convergence Event."
Daisy: "Convergence Event? What's that?"
Lucille: "I take it you're not a watcher of current events or a conspiracy theorist? I know the topic of it has come up once or twice on Twitter."
Daisy: "I don't much care for that bullshit social media. Now, what's this Convergence Event?"
Lucille: "The Convergence Event is a half-assed theory based on two mysteries. First mystery involves the sheer number and power of Pokemon in Honmyr. On both counts, it is superior to all other regions, particularly small, inadequate Jurich. Mystery number two involves all Legendary Pokemon in the Pokemon World going to Honmyr. Well, all but one."
Daisy: "I guess when you think about those mysteries, it is pretty unusual. So what's the theory?"
Lucille: "Pokemon Professors and Pokemonologists have believed in some deep connection that exists between Pokemon and the Pokemon World. Like, somehow the Pokemon can sense when the world is facing some kind of perilous event, and may act in an unusual fashion in order to somehow intercept and prevent the danger. A kind of precognition, if you will. This is what the Fear Vanguard is most concerned about, even more so than Honmyr's obvious military might and number of talented warriors such as, you guessed it, one Irene Crosswald."
Daisy: "I don't think that's relevant."
Lucille: "And you may be right in that there is no relevance, Miss Miltower, but the Fear Vanguard is getting desperate. They accomplish almost nothing with everything they do here and the Prideguard is blocking any kind of advance they're trying to make beyond the far northern edge of the White Wastelands, and they won't learn shit way up there. Also there appears to be some kind of really large monster able to control ice storms of incomparable severity that's in the way. A wolf of some kind, bigger than any Legendary Pokemon, with two heads and tails and a really short temper."
Daisy: "Man. Now I feel like an asshole for taking on the Fear Vanguard here."
Angelique: "Back up the truck, here. You said that all Legendary Pokemon were now in Honmyr except for one."
Lucille: "Right, the Legendary Dragon/Bug Pokemon Belzybrand. It's the only Legendary Pokemon here in the Jurich region. It spends about nine months of each year above the ocean, flying at supersonic speeds and hitting all the other regions to gather anything to eat. Usually other Pokemon. And for the other three months it returns here to Jurich, specifically Mt. Sugaroma to hibernate."
Daisy: "Sounds like a stupid life."
Lucille: "Pokemon Professors think Belzybrand is courteous of Jurich's ecosystem which can be easily unbalanced if a large Pokemon just went to town on it, gorging itself on anything it could find with meat inside it."
Daisy: "Well, nevermind that exposition that will be important later. Let's get back to Saltspray. We need a strategy meeting or at least a little huddle up before we go screwing with the Fear Vanguard any further."
Brodic: "Let's not take too long, though. The sooner we get moving towards our next destination, the less fuckers we'll have to deal with on the way."
Angelique: "What about Christophe?"
Daisy: "That came out of the blue. Who gives a fuck about Christophe?"
Angelique: "None of us do, I think. But the Fear Vanguard might decide they can use him to gain some sort of advantage over you, Daisy."
Daisy: "If he gets arrested by the Vanguard for knowing me, it might help me out in the end. Let him stew a bit in a cell and maybe he'll finally give me up. An incident like that would be for his own good."
Lucille: "I do not know what this Christophe is, but it sounds as disappointing as the Fear Vanguard."
Daisy: "He's like a mouse believing he can win the respect of a lion. Or in this case, a sheep trying to win the respect of a succubus. Either way, he's clearly outmatched but still confident he can stand with me because both of our parents encouraged him."

*meanwhile, back at Outpost #6...*
Escargot: "What the hell happened to you two twits?"
FV #1: *points at the poster of Daisy* "She's back."
Escargot: "I don't see Spottart anywhere."
FV #2: "Yeah, she left with that bitch and her little ragtag group of ne'er-do-wells."
Escargot: "Figures. I kept telling the director that she was likely going to bounce on us if we didn't allow her to go to Honmyr. More than likely she's confided in Miltower for an alternative route."
*Escargot deploys her entourage of two other Fear Vanguard units to handle the wounded, then catches something trying to sneak through the bushes.*
Escargot: "... ... ..."

[Menarker]

*Pokes AB*

Just letting you know we're still active and waiting for the next update. Hoping you're doing alright.

[Aldurin]

Yeah, also looking back at the Daisy storyline it's pretty great, especially since it's foreshadowed that she'll join us soon. It's almost good enough to forgive the existence of Darcelle.

[Astral Harmony]

Menarker made me do Darcelle.

...

Wait, that might not have come out right.

Sorry 'bout the post delay. I'm suffering from the dangerously common disease of headupmyownassitis. I catch it about...oh, every two minutes. It basically means I got distracted by something shiny...or pr0n...or shiny pr0n.

At the very least, the Donovan side will finally, finally be finished tomorrow. I was faffing about trying to figure out just what Whitepearl was going to do now that you guys easily wiped out more than half her HP. I've decided that she's going to go apeshit. Apeshit robots are fun.

EDIT: "I...think it's done. I just need to make sure I got everything and with the heater down in my house, my fingers aren't as...movable as I would've hoped. I give it a tomorrow morning release."

The World Ends With an Impact, Day 5 ~ A Dark Battle Rekindled

*Impact awakens to find that Discord is still his partner and has been patiently waiting for him.*
Discord: "Mornin', fucker."
Impact: "Anything new?"
Discord: "Not really. No mission yet and I think we've awoken exactly where we fell, right here in front of the mexican restaurant."
Impact: "What can I say? I fuckin' love me some chili dogs."
Discord: "We got it, Sonic the Hedgehog."
Impact: "Hey, that's not nice. And what the hell are you wearing?"
Discord: "Charlotte and Lola stopped by a little while ago. All they really did was give me the clothes and ask me to tell you to not die. The clothes have decent stat boosts, so I figured I'd go for it."
*Impact laughs.*
Discord: "What?"
Impact: "Discord, I don't mean to break your heart, but maybe trying to look cute doesn't suit you."
Discord: "I'd bash you in the face if I didn't completely agree with you."
Impact: "Anyways, did Charlotte meet with any success in overtaking Shibuya?"
Discord: "Not to my knowledge, so we need to keep surviving and if a mission pops up, we'll have to handle it."
*Suddenly, both of their Inquiry Visors got a message.*
Impact: "Y'jynxed us, Discord."
Discord: "Yeah, yeah, let's just see what it wants."
*Impact and Discord read the e-mail.*
Discord: "'Erase the new Players', it says. We have a hundred eighty minutes to do it."
*Impact and Discord feel a painful sensation in the palms of their right hands.*
Discord: "Clock's a tickin'."
Impact: "Doesn't make a whole lotta sense, does it? I mean, aren't we sort of the new Players?"
Discord: "Maybe some Players arrived just today."
Impact: "Hax! I call hax!"
Discord: "Huh?"
Impact: "They got to skip four days of this bullshit. That's more than half, dammit. I'd probably erase those assholes just for having it better than me."
Discord: "I swear you can be such a child sometimes, but hold onto that zeal. If we can't clear the city of newbs in three hours, all of Charlotte's efforts will go to waste."

*Enter the Scramble Crossing*
Impact: "Those people look out of place."
Discord: "Right, they must be some of the targets."
Impact: "Some? ...Yeah, I guess we couldn't simply be done with this after erasing only one group."
*Impact and Discord hail the two suddenly very familiar girls.*
Rachel: "Impact?! Hey, Laurith, it's Impact! You look like something an Omnisroth ate and shit off a cliff."
Laurith: "..."
Rachel: "Don't gimme that, Laurith. I just calls 'em like I sees 'em."
Impact: "Whatever. I'm only going to say this once. Either leave the Reality Shard or be forced to leave the Reality Shard. Your choice and all, but the clock's ticking."
Rachel: "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Impact?"
Discord: "We're currently trapped in this place, the Shibuya Reality Shard in the Hungry World, and are forced to play a game called the Reaper's Game in order to be resurrected back in our world."
Rachel: "Oh, that whole thing. We know all about it."
Discord: "You do?"
Rachel: "After the whole 'destroy the Knomere, stop the Rezonscape, butcher Impact' thing finally ended, a lot of us just went our owns ways 'n' stuff. I was interested in the Hungry World, so I nabbed Laurith and headed on down here. We got a job from the Overseer. Y'know, the big eye in the sky? Anyways, under his orders, we explore and make reports on the Reality Shards that suddenly pop up around here."
Laurith: "..."
Rachel: "Hey, the Overseer could learn to appreciate my reports, Laurith! I think the emotes make the reports more livelier!"
Laurith: "..."
Rachel: "What? We need to destroy Impact?"
Laurith: "...!"
Rachel: "Oh, yeah! The whole resurrection thing! Yes, we absolutely can't let Impact come back to life."
Laurith: "..."
Rachel: "Discord, we don't have anything against you and would be happy to let you come back to life, but if Impact can be resurrected and return to Honmyr...well, we're still trying to rebuild from all the damage he did!"
Impact: "I didn't do that damage, that was the Knomere!"
Rachel: "Be that as it may, we can't simply let you go free. Laurith, it's time to clean house!"
Laurith: "..."
Discord: "Looks like we have a fight on our hands, Impact."
Impact: "That's fine. If they count as the 'new Players' mentioned in the e-mail, their defeat will be necessary. Let's rough 'em up, Discord!"
*A battle ensues and, despite Rachel and Laurith being rather spirited, Impact and Discord were a disciplined, veteran matchup who knew how to use pins for maximum effectiveness and gave the little girls no chance.*
Rachel: "Owww...dick."
Discord: "Language."
Laurith: "...?!"
Rachel: "Wait, what's happening to us?"
*Rachel and Laurith vanish into white light.*
Impact: "Did we...kill them?"
Discord: "Most likely not. They were still living when they came here, so maybe all we did was kick 'em out."
*Impact stares at his palm.*
Discord: "Impact, I highly doubt that masturbation gives you hair on your palms."
Impact: "It's not that, you idiot. Looks like our mission isn't over yet."
Discord: "I'd like it if we could split up and search the streets quicker, but if we run into Noise or any of the other groups, we wouldn't stand a chance by ourselves."
Impact: "No such luck, I'm afraid. C'mon, let's get moving."

*In front of Jupiter Of The Monkey*
Discord: "I think you're too old to be wearing those kind's of clothes."
Impact: "No, no, check it out, Discord. The sales clerk raps."
Discord: "You seem to be having a lot of fun here, what with the chili dogs and rhyme bustin' sales clerks. You sure you don't wanna take up a permanent residence?"
Impact: "Maybe after I come back to life, but certainly not before. See anyone who looks out of place?"
Discord: "You mean besides ourselves? Ummm...oh, right over there."
*Impact and Discord hail another very familiar pair.*
Kurika: "Impact."
Heidi: "And Discord! Are you two going out? Wait, aren't you both dead? Sorry, that was insensitive of me, wasn't it?"
Discord: "Ho boy. Impact, erasing these two will be quite a challenge. I think they have even more muscles than before."
Impact: "So, what brings you two to this neighborhood?"
Heidi: "The Power Girl X Challenge Cup!"
Discord: "The what?"
Kurika: "Heidi and I created it. We traveled around the world, challenging all women to see if they can defeat the two of us strong women. So far, we have been undefeated. And now there are no more power girl teams in the world, so we thought we could try the Hungry World. If there are power girls like the Kimonos here, surely there are many more, do you not think?"
Discord: "You might be right, but don't call me Shirley."
Kurika: "Huh? Did I call you that?"
Heidi: "It's a joke, Kurika. I'll explain it to you later."
Impact: "Enough idle banter. Would you be kind enough to leave the Reality Shard?"
Kurika: "I think we can. But how do we leave?"
Discord: "Look for a Sentinel. Basically, a big-ass jellyfish with chainsaws on the ends of their tentacles."
Impact: "Actually, I have a better plan. Let us battle!"
Discord: "Impact, have you lost your mind?!"
Impact: "What if they don't find the Sentinel and leave before the timer ends, Discord? Besides, the e-mail said to 'erase' the new Players. It may not count if they aren't erased."
Discord: "Well, I still really hate to idea of fighting a muay thai kickboxer and a Machoke Pokebrid, but you could be right that we might be erased if we cheat the system."
Impact: "And there you have it. Would you girls join us for a very serious sparring session to the death?"
Kurika: "Hmm. What do you think, Heidi?"
Heidi: "I'm not sure. I guess this could be a Power Girl X Challenge Cup event, even if Impact isn't a girl right now."
Impact: "Right now?"
Heidi: "Didja forget? How you transform into a girl named Fempact when you're hit with cold water?"
Impact: "Armored Bishoujo, knock it off!"
Armored Bishoujo: "Oh, you're no fun."
Impact: "I don't fight two incredibly muscular women for fun. ...Unless I'm drunk, but that's a very, very different and altogether wrong occasion."
Discord: "Right, let's do it to it!"
Kurika: "Let us begin."
*Impact and Discord fight a rather climatic battle with Kurika and Heidi. The confrontation is tough, with Impact and Discord using their smaller, quicker bodies to try and evades Kurika and Heidi's mighty blows. After a very hard won struggle, Impact and Discord emerge beaten and bruised but victorious.*
Heidi: "Woof. Your powers have grown by no small leap, Impact."
Impact: "Yep, I'm in it to epic win it."
Kurika: "Well then, good luck with what it is you are doing."
*Heidi and Kurika vanish into white light.*
Discord: "They're not bad girls. Just really fuckin' intimidating ones."
Impact: "Time's still wasting. Damn it, how many more groups remain?"
Discord: "We've just gotta keep it up and keep hustlin'. I mean, how many random pairs of people can just wind up in one Reality Shard in the entire Hungry World in a single day?"

*After six more battles, Impact and Discord are sitting down against a building, thoroughly exhausted from the fighting.*
Discord: "I...I can't take it anymore."
Impact: "It's fine, Discord. We don't have to worry anymore."
Discord: "Really? We made it?"
Impact: "No, but we only got twenty seconds left."
Discord: "So why shouldn't I worry?"
Impact: "Because worrying is now pointless. Twenty seconds is not nearly enough time to find anymore newbie Players, let alone battle and erase them. Face it, we're screwed."
Discord: "Ten seconds. Well, it has been quite fun, fightin' and eatin' and seeing what it might be like to kind of dress like a girl for once."
Impact: "I know I did a lot of this because I really wanted to be resurrected myself, but I do feel like shit for not being able to help you as well."
Discord: "Y'mean that?"
Impact: "Of course. You were a loyal subordinate, even more loyal than Sakuya ever was. Granted, you were paid well, but still, people have often betrayed those they were employed to. So, for all it's worth, thanks."
Discord: "Gee, Impact. If you presented a ring right now, I don't know if I can find the man-hating nature within me to tell you to piss off."
*Impact looks at the sky...and is then surprised when Discord takes one of his hands in hers.*
Impact: "Ummm..."
Discord: "Just...bear with it, okay? I'm not quite sure why I'm doing this either."
Impact: "Well, okay, but while you're at it, can you check the time? I think we're supposed to be erased by now."
*Discord examines Impact's hand.*
Discord: "It's...gone."
Impact: "The timer? Check your hand, too."
*Discord opens her right hand.*
Discord: "Yeah, mine is gone, too! What the hell-!"
*Both of their Inquiry Visors recieve a message.*
Impact: "It's from Charlotte! She's done it! She's goddamn done it!"
*Impact and Discord jump up and embrace each other. They recieve another e-mail.*
Discord: "This one says that it is rather uncharacteristic of us to be close and 'enjoying' each other's company."
Impact: "Well, it looks like she might need some time to figure out how to grant us a resurrection ahead of time, so we might still be stuck in Shibuya for another day."
Discord: "Should we go to sleep? I'm too tired to keep standing."
Impact: "Probably for the best. Besides, I want to think about what happened."
Discord: "Huh?"
Impact: "Eight different groups of newbie Players defeated and we still didn't clear the mission. It was thanks to Charlotte that we're not dust in the ether."
Discord: "Yeah, it's kinda weird, isn't it?"
Impact: "Kinda weird? No. This shit was deliberate. Someone sent all those pairs of talented fighters, and all to destroy us."
Discord: "...You may have a point. Between the mission and the sheer number of new Player teams all at once, it couldn't possibly be a coincidence. Is the Conductor trying to kill us off?"
Impact: "I think she's trying to kill me off, that's for sure. I knew it. The Conductor of the Reaper's Game is none other than my murderer from back in Honmyr when I was alive."
Discord: "Should we try to contact Charlotte? Maybe she saw this bitch."
Impact: "Well, if I knew who it was, I'd probably want to go kill her right away, but as I am right now, I don't think I'm in any condition to avenge myself. I should talk to Charlotte tomorrow."
Discord: "But what if your murderer escapes?"
Impact: "If I may use the tired cliche, 'you can run but you can't hide'. I'm not in any position to go taking her out right now, but I'll never let her get away from me. I swear on my soul."
Discord: "Alright, then. Soon as we're both up, we'll go down to this station underpass and see if we can get some information out of Charlotte."

[Astral Harmony]

Daisy the Swamphair Succubus-!

Daisy: "That's 'Disgruntled Trainer', you douchefag."

Chapter 3: A Li'l Taste of Escargot

Scene 1: An apartment that our group of heroes is renting out for as long as they will remain in Saltspray City.
Javier: *enters the living room from outside* "Hey, I bought us some groceries and-just what in the hell is she doing?"
*Daisy is holding a guitar in her hands with a headset on her head and a dance pad beneath her feet, frantically dancing, singing, and strumming the guitar. Chartreuse is sitting on the couch, watching her with relative disinterest.*
Chartreuse: "It's called Psychotic Smorgasbord. Basically, some indie developer got a crazy-as-fuck idea of bringing Karaoke Revolution, Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution into a single experience."
Javier: "Huh. How successful was the idea?"
Chartreuse: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that Daisy may be the only person with the ridiculous coordination skills to actually do all three activities at the same time on Psychopath Mode. But the game sold a lot when it was released because of the tag line 'Lose Weight Like Effing Crazy', which made it a huge hit with women on diets."
Javier: "It certainly sounds...involving."
Daisy: *Finishes the stage.* "97% Guitar Accuracy, 100% Dance Accuracy, and 94% Vocal Accuracy. Well, it's not perfect, but I guess it's better than last time."
Javier: "Just don't get too addicted to that game, Daise."
Daisy: "Huh? Why not? If I don't keep my great figure, you won't love me anymore, right?"
Chartreuse: "Daisy saying something cute? Alert the masses, the apocalypse is approaching."
Javier: "Daise, that's not true at all, but there is such a thing as too skinny. I mean, I can see the bottom of your rib cage. Anymore of that and you'll look like a Bible Black girl."
Daisy: "You say that like it's a bad thing, but I guess you got a point. So is there any meat in that grocery bag or what?"
*Lucille, Angelique and Brodic return.*
Daisy: "Hey, you're back. Any good word on the street?"
Brodic: "Haven't seen Christophe all day."
Daisy: "My, that is good word! But more specifically, I mean about the other outpost."
Lucille: "I had a little luck. They weren't informed about me going rogue and reported that the communication system there is still up and running."
Daisy: "Then let's get dinner started early. I wanna be there before sundown."
Lucille: "Oh, is that Psychotic Smorgasbord?"
Daisy: "Yep. Y'wanna play?"
Lucille: "Nah, I can't keep up with it. Actually, my brother created that game. I told him he was a moron, but now he's a lot richer than me so I guess I'm the one with egg on my face."
Angelique: "Being superior isn't about being wealthy."
*Daisy gives Angelique a long stare.*
Angelique: "I stand by what I just said. My house, my clothes, and everything else was gathered naturally from the environment and created by hand until just recently. You really don't need a damn dime to live it up pretty well anywhere you go."
Daisy: "If you say so. C'mon, let's eat dinner and then head out to that outpost."

Scene 2: Port Alcadia. Christophe awakens to find himself sitting in a chair in a small room with a table and a security camera as the only other pieces of furniture. He isn't alone. There are two others in there with him, a man staring out the only window and a woman leaning against the wall.
Mystery Woman: "Ah, the sleeper awakens."
Christophe: "Huh? Wha?"
Mystery Woman: "My name is Escargot Vansaint, an operative of the Chariot organization. Over there is my partner, Gary Oak."
Christophe: "Chariot?"
Escargot: "Chariot is a special branch of the International Police. Just like how Honmyr has the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency, the rest of the world has Chariot. I mean, we really shouldn't be leaving the fate of the world in the hands of ten-year old kids, y'know?"
Gary: "Vansaint...the point?"
Escargot: "Oh right, the reason we brought you here. You are Christophe Coolidge of Coolidge Town, yes? We would like to ensure your safety by requesting that you stay away from Daisy Miltower."
Christophe: "What? But I can't do that! Mother and father, and Daisy's mother and father would be so cross with me if I were to simply let her do as she pleases."
Escargot: "Well, actually, that's exactly what you're doing. As far as combat is concerned, you are heavily disadvantaged considering she has custom firearms and you have..."
Gary: "A genetically-deficient Mareep, and not even one with a decent level."
Escargot: "Gee, sugarcoat it a little less for him, Gary. I don't think he realizes the gravity of his lack of preparation."
Gary: "Well, you keep tiptoeing around the damn situation. Look, Coolidge, let the two of us take care of Miltower."
Christophe: "No, I can do it! Let me try!"
Escargot: "...Well, what do you think, Gary?"
Gary: "Aside from Miltower, it's too peaceful here in Jurich and even with us two being the only Chariot operatives in the entire landmass, we're still dicking around with nothing to do. So, let's do this. Miltower probably has two destinations in mind for where she's going to go next, Outpost #7 and here in Port Alcadia, but I suspect that Outpost #7 is going to be the one place she'll choose. Vansaint, you will take Christophe with you to Outpost #7. Let him see just how dangerous it is to continue to pursue Daisy when he has no means of stopping her. I will remain here just in case she actually does come here."
Christophe: "You're...not going to kill her, are you?"
Escargot: "Of course not. All she's done is beat down a few of the Fear Vanguard troopers and their Pokemon. Hardly a crime, in our opinion, and not even worth us investigating."
Gary: "But if we simply allow Daisy nothing but freedom in Jurich, there may be greater troubles on the horizon. Anyways, you should leave now, Escargot. I don't think Miltower's going to wait for you to get into position."

Scene 3: Near the restricted area of Outpost #7. Daisy and company are strollin' right on up to the gate.
Lucille: "So, do any of you feel like talking about yourselves?"
Daisy: "Whadayamean, Lucille?"
Angelique: "Well, I can sort of understand how she feels. We've all known each other for years, and here Lucille is, the odd one out."
Daisy: "Ah. I don't really like talking about myself, though. Chartreuse, you love saying words. Why don't you handle this one?"
Chartreuse: "Not sure if I know absolutely everybody's story, but sure, I'll wing it. Daisy Miltower was born and raised in Coolidge Town, an older childhood friend of a young and insignificant boy named Christophe Coolidge."
Daisy: "Calling Christophe 'insignificant' is an insult to insignificant people."
Chartreuse: "As you can expect, Daisy was destined for much greater things than living in a fuckhole of a town and being the doting wife of the mayor's mediocre son and the mother of his children. So, as soon as she was ten herself, she fled the town without even so much as getting a Pokemon Trainer's license and ventured as far as the next town where she met...uh, the rest of us. Even back then, me and Brodic were an item, Javier was living a carefree life, and Angelique lived in a personal settlement out in the woods by a nearby lake. We were all friends who more or less bid each other good days and whatnot, but we didn't really form any kind of close circle until Daisy more or less brought us all together."
Lucille: "I guess she sort of made an impression on you all, huh?"
Javier: "Even when we were kids, I fell hopelessly in love with Daisy the very moment I met her. Her enthusiasm, her energy, her personality...this girl was born to start a party and goddamn, her enduring spirit was infectious. It was kind of like...we were all living some kind of stable, boring lives and she was our one bridge to...I dunno, somewhere we'd never have been able to go without her. Somewhere that I never even knew existed but suddenly wanted to get to more than anything. I couldn't understand it as a child. I still don't understand it as a man. But even when I do and it's not what I want for myself, I'm still going to follow Daisy to hell and beyond."
Daisy: "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?"
Angelique: "Brodic and Chartreuse are on-again, off-again boyfriend and girlfriend looking for adventure, Daisy wishes to return to Honmyr more than anything, Javier is her helpless bondsman, and I tire of living day in and day out hunting, fishing, and gathering. I wouldn't say there's anything wrong with the lives we had before Daisy came along, but ever since we basked in her vitality, even I, who never really had any desires in my life except to eat, sleep, and live suddenly found something in my life missing. And now I can't possibly stop myself from moving forward."
Lucille: "Ah, so it's the whole 'extraordinary person gets other people involved in a grand journey' cliche. I can dig it."
Brodic: "The gate's in sight."
Lucille: "And a person is standing there that I wasn't hoping to encounter."
Daisy: "That woman? Wait, is that Christophe with her? The fuck is going on?"

Scene 4: Right in front of the gate to the restricted area of Outpost #7. Daisy and company close in one a group of Christophe, a woman they don't know, and four Fear Vanguard troopers.
Javier: "My love, if you'd do the honors."
Daisy: "Gladly."
*Daisy draws Javier's gift and her other handgun, twirls them in the air, then trains them towards the enemy group with a dramatic flair.*
Daisy: "Anyone who stands between me and that communications device is going home in a FUCKING BOX!!"
Javier: "I know how to pick 'em, don't I?"
Mystery Woman: "And a cordial greetings to you as well, Daisy Miltower. I'm glad I'm not the only one who knows how to fashionably wear a studded leather bustier and miniskirt."
Daisy: "I thank you for recognizing good fashion when you see it. So who might you be?"
Lucille: "She is Escargot Vansaint of the Chariot organization, a special branch of the International Police. They handle terrorism usually, a lot like what the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency does in Honmyr. Although from what I know, PATCA sees a lot more action and their tactics are a lot more varied and chaotic, which is curious since Chariot serves the entire rest of the world while PATCA mostly restricts itself to Honmyr."
Daisy: "So, an anti-terrorism specialist, eh? I'm curious to see if her combat skills match her inpeccable fashion sense."
Escargot: *draws two sawed-off double barrel shotguns* "I think my skills are unquestionable."
Christophe: "Wait, Miss Vansaint! I thought you said you weren't going to hurt her?"
Escargot: "Umm...you can see that she's aiming guns at us, do you not?"
Christophe: "Daisy, you've got to stop this! This is madness!"
Daisy: "Madness? This! Is! Spa-!"
Chartreuse: "No, don't! You're like my best friend, Swamphair, and I don't wanna see you killed in your prime by a falling bus!"
Daisy: "Oh, right, those weird people who hate Internet memes." *to Christophe* "A little punk-ass bitch like you wouldn't understand the ways of real warriors, Christophe. Seriously, what the fuck are you doing out here, anyways? If you had a death wish, I could've granted that back in the city."
Christophe: *growling* "Darn it! I'm deploying my Pokemon!"
*Christophe deploys his Mareep.*
Daisy: "Kawaii."
*Daisy shoots Christophe's Mareep. Mareep faints and is returned to the Pokeball.*
Daisy: "But I don't much care for kawaii things."
Escargot: *Sigh.* "My turn then, I guess."
Christophe: "Daisy, do you have any idea how cross your mother is going to be you when she hears about this?"
Daisy: "Yes. Now ask me if I give a fuck. Look, she's pretty much locked me down here in Jurich because she knows this is exactly what I would be doing, regardless. She could've taken away my guns, even stripped me naked, and I'd still be here, ready for a naked white knuckle throwdown."
Christophe: "..."
Daisy: "..."
Christophe: "..."
Daisy: "If you are imagining me and Escargot bare brawling, I'm going to shoot you in the face. And then I'm going to shoot you in the face again. ...I'm probably going to keep shooting your face until...well, until you run out of face."
Christophe: "Ergh...I'm going to ask you one last time, Daisy. Please return home and begin your Pokemon journey in earnest."
Daisy: "Christophe, that's just not going to work. I belong in Honmyr, and not just because I like being there more than I like being in Jurich. I just...when I first went to Honmyr, I knew. I knew it when my body and my mind were immersed in the Rezonscape. Honmyr's going to need me, Christophe, and that's why I'm not going to stop fighting. That's why I couldn't possibly take one step back!"
Christophe: "D-...Daisy..."
Escargot: "I'd say that's a proper indication of her refusal to back down. And I should admit that I'm glad she didn't."
*Escargot raises her shotguns.*
Escargot: "I've actually never gotten to use the twins outside of a firing range. Fear Vanguard, with me! We will defeat and arrest them!"
Angelique: *Whirls her spear and draws on the power of her befriended Pokemon.* "Now that the cheesy bullshit is out of the way, let us see how capable a Chariot operative is in stopping one pissed-off and determined disgruntled trainer."
Escargot: "Yes. Let us."
*A battle that is considerably more notable ensues, but Escargot and two Fear Vanguard troopers are no match for six spirited fighters.*

Scene 5: The interior of the Fear Vanguard base. But still-
Daisy: "Will the four of you go the fuck outside, already?! This shack isn't big enough for all six of us!"
Chartreuse: "But Lucille gets to stay?"
Daisy: "Of course she does. She's the one who actually knows how to use this damn thing. We don't have a lot of time before Escargot manages to scrounge up some reinforcements. So get out there and keep a fucking watch, damn it."
Lucille: "Okay, we're all set up. Making the connection now..."
Woman's Voice: "Hello, thank you for calling the Pokemon Advanced Tactics and Counterterrorism Agency. My name is Daphne, how may I serve you?"
Daisy: "There's no video, Lucille."
Daphne: "Huh?"
Lucille: "The recieving end must just be an audio line like a regular telephone. Hello there, my name is Daisy Miltower and I'd like to speak to my aunt, Irene Crosswald. Would that be possible at this time?"
Daphne: "You're the niece of Miss Crosswald? I never even knew she had one. Hmm...stand by and I'll see if she's not busy, then I'll either patch you through or take a message."
Lucille: "That's cool."
Daisy: "Huh. I'm pretty sure I met Daphne before. Why doesn't she know who I am?"
Lucille: "Well, with that slutty getup of yours, she probably thought Irene propositioned you for some lez action."
Daisy: "Keep that up and I'll somehow punch so deep into all that bright green hair that I might actually hit your head."
*Less than a minute passes and then an image shows up on the screen. Irene is viewed from the side, sitting at her desk. She stands up and walks over to the camera.*
Daisy: "Hey, mom!"
Irene: *Sigh.* "Y'know, Daisy, you really should just accept that my sister Yuzuna is your mother. You don't have to like it, but please try to accept it. I mean, I've already got a daughter and she's more than two handfuls as is."
Daisy: "Yep, she definitely is 'more than two handfuls', isn't she?"
Irene: "I see that once again, everything with you has to be a breast joke. So, Lucille, any luck?"
Daisy: "Huh?!"
Lucille: "Not as such, no. I'm just going to have to sneak on board a Fear Vanguard vessel and try to get to Honmyr that way."
Irene: "Are you sure you don't want my help in this?"
Lucille: "Nah, I think we can manage on our own. With any luck, we'll be off this island by tomorrow evening."
Irene: "Glad to hear it. Honmyr needs all the teenage prodigies it can get."
Daisy: "Hold up, how the hell do you two know each other?!"
Irene: "Just some correspondance, nothing more. No need to get jealous."
Daisy: "I-! I'm not jealous!"
Irene: "At least you got to sleep in my bed with me one night."
Daisy: "Ixnay on the eepingslay ogethertay, umbassday."
Lucille: "We should get going shortly. Daisy, I'm done here. Do you need to say anything before I shut this off?"
Daisy: "Irene..."
Irene: "I know, Daisy. A lot of people just 'know' when they come to this place that they truely belong here. I still say it's a mistake for me to get you involved in all this, but I have a feeling I'd just being making you unhappy if I threw away your wishes. I'll be waiting for you, no matter what happens."
Daisy: "Yeah. I can't wait to get back there. I'll see you soon!"
Irene: "Good luck, you all."
*The connection is cut.*
Lucille: "Let's get to Saltspray City. We'll need to strategize how we're going to break into the Fear Vanguard sector of Port Alcadia and stow away onto a ship."
Daisy: "Right."
Lucille: "So you really slept with Irene?"
Daisy: "Nothing sexual. I just wanted to be held by her for a night."
Lucille: "Hmm...yes, that does sound nice."

Scene 6: Port Alcadia infirmary, Fear Vanguard sector. Escargot is recovering from her wounds. Christophe and Gary are in the room with her.
Gary: "How are you holding up?"
Escargot: "Huh? Are you actually showing concern for me? I must look like absolute shit."
Gary: "Yes, but you kind of look like absolute shit all the time, so it's hard for me to tell just how severe your wounds are."
Escargot: "Want me to hop out of this bed and show you just how well I'm recovering?"
Christophe: "Mister Oak, stop it. Miss Vansaint, please just eat this oatmeal."
Escargot: "Alright, but I'm still not exactly comfortable with being spoon fed. Anyways, what did the supervisor say?"
Gary: "The Fear Vanguard's position in the White Wastelands is getting pretty bad. That ship has to leave on schedule or they might lose their foothold on Honmyr."
Christophe: "And if that's true, then Daisy is definitely going to try and sneak on board tomorrow night, right?"
Escargot: "Christophe, I think you understand the situation now. Please just go home, already. Daisy did all this damage to me and we actually had respect for each other. Imagine what she'd do to someone like you who she harbors only ill will for."
Christophe: "I'm not going to quit. I can't just go home. She's out of control and I feel like it's my fault for not stopping her when we were younger."
Escargot: "Okay, but we can't let you engage Daisy, either. As you are, you're just a huge liability that we can't afford to bother with."
Christophe: "Hmm...what if I wasn't a liability?"
Escargot: "If you weren't, there maybe there'd be some use for you, but-"
Christophe: "Then I want you to train me!"
Gary: "Hmph. Fine."
Escargot: "Gary, what the hell?! This is rather uncharacteristic of you."
Gary: "Christophe may be just a weakling, and he understands that he's a weakling, but he's a weakling who won't stop trying to stop Daisy."
Escargot: "And what, you admire that?"
Gary: "No, but he's only going to get himself and that Mareep killed if he keeps this up, and he's going to keep it up even when it's bound to kill him. In other words, it couldn't hurt us to at least train the worthless piece of shit so that maybe he'll survive those occasions where he's pissed Daisy off. We've got time to kill."
Escargot: "I...guess that makes sense. I would sort of feel like his death would be my fault if I just told him to leave and watched him die when he stubbornly refused to go home. Alright, then. Christophe Coolidge."
Christophe: "Yes?"
Escargot: "Starting now, you are an intern of the Chariot organization. Operative Oak is your commanding superior. I am the second-in-command. If you're determined to stop Daisy no matter what, you're going to do it by our rules. Is that clear?"
Christophe: "..."
Escargot: "Is that fucking clear?!"
Christophe: "Y-yes ma'am!"
Gary: "We don't have long until tomorrow night to slap you into shape, Intern Operative Coolidge, so leave that bowl of oatmeal there and follow me outside. You training begins immediately."
Christophe: "What will my first bit of training involve?"
Gary: *shrug* "Pain."

-------------------------------------------------------------

And now, a new omake series!

Pierce & Impact Go To Whitecastle, Roadtrip 1: ...And Wreck Their Rig En Route To the Mission!

*Impact and Pierce are facing off against each other on a speeding train racing along a track that bends around a mountain range. The purple mist suggests this location to be the Miasma Mountain Range, and there's a strong rain smashing down onto the two warriors. Impact brandishes his Dragon Slave while Pierce clutches his ghost lance tightly enough for his knuckles to turn pale white.*

Pierce: *narration* "Please listen to my story...this may be my last chance..."

*Let's do the Time Warp again!*

*Impact is driving a Rig with Pierce in the passenger seat. Their destination is a highway intersection where Irene is waiting for them to pick up something called an Ashen Knight.*
Impact: "So, how's the Haremon thing going?"
Pierce: "It's strange. Somehow we got the PC Storage System working in a way that would support us Haremeisters, and now all I think about when I use it is that I'm creating a porn database. French Maids, School Swimsuits, bleh. I'm surprised to say this, but somehow I've discovered that even I have limits when it comes to shameless indecency."
Impact: "...For some reason, I'm still glad I'm not involved in that whole mess."
*The Rig goes straight.*
Pierce: "Impact, you missed the turn. We were supposed to go right."
Impact: "This is right."
Pierce: "No, that was straight."
Impact: "That's right."
Pierce: "No, it's left! I mean 'wrong'! Damn it, go back!"
Impact: "Relax, man, we got time. I just wanna get a bite to eat."
Pierce: "Seriously? All we're doing to having a giant steampunk mecha thing load itself up into the Rig. Five minutes, tops. We can probably stop by a restaurant right after, anyways."
Impact: "Look, dude, this is happening so just deal with it. I'll even treat you."
Pierce: "You're...uncharacteristically nice."
Impact: "Yeah, well, I know you probably don't have any money trying to charm the panties off of any girl you happen to favor."
Pierce: "They're all good girls who deserve good things."
Impact: "So why must they suffer with having you as a boyfriend, then? As much as I hate you with every fiber of my being, I still don't get why you don't just use your charms. I'm pretty sure you didn't even get Shizuka a dozen roses before she gave it up."
Pierce: "There's a...principle to it all. I want to be more to them than a piece of meat. And vice versa."

*The Rig pulls into a restaurant parking lot.*
Impact: "Aww, yeah, this is the place."
Pierce: "Dude, this is Whitecastle."
Impact: "Yes, this is Whistecastle. Did the large sign give it away?"
Pierce: "It's just that...well, Whitecastle is okay, but there are certainly better restaurants. Closer ones, too. And less expensive."
Impact: "We're doing this."
*At the drive thru ordering window.*
Impact: "Ummm...I'd like a number two combo, large coke, large fries, and a ten piece order of cheese sticks."
Pierce: "What an oddly specific order. It's like a certain person who created Pokemon Umbral eats here on occasion."
Impact: "What do you want?"
Pierce: "I dunno, just some chicken sliders or something. Since we're here anyways, I might as well get something."
*Impact confirms the order and pulls up to the window.*
Impact: "Hmm...that's odd."
Pierce: "Hmm?"
Impact: "I seem to have forgotten my wallet."
Pierce: "Classic. Forget it, then. Let's just go to the mission, then. Irene's probably already wondering where the fuck we are."

*At the highway intersection.*
Irene: "I'm already wondering where the fuck they are."

*Back at Whitecastle.*
Pierce: "See? ...Hmmm...and she's already planning to wear all sorts of sexy costumes for some hot cosplay action tonight."

*Back at the highway intersection.*
Irene: "And I'm already planning to use my swords to carve out Pierce's cardiovascular system and feed it to Dark Charlotte if his ass isn't here by the time the rest of my patience dies away."

*Back at Whitecastle again.*
Pierce: "Well, can't say that I didn't try. Alright, Impact, do something about this."
Impact: "I don't have my wallet, dumbass. I can't pay for this food if I don't have my damn wallet."
Pierce: "Well, what do we do?"
Impact: "Well, don't you have any money?"
Pierce: "Oh, uhh...let me see here...yes, this much."
Impact: "I think we can make this work."
Pierce: "You sure? I don't think this is enough."
Impact: "No, it's fine, we'll just cancel the chicken sliders."
Pierce: "The fuck?! Hell no, that's my money so you will get those chicken sliders! And you don't have to go hungry, just get small fries and a small coke and do away with those damn cheese sticks."
Impact: "If there is one thing I'll never do in this life, it's forsake cheese sticks."
Pierce: "But that's my money!"
Impact: "But I'm the PATCA Chief!"
Pierce: "But only because you got down on your knees in front of Irene and begged for it!"
Impact: "Yeah, but I've only gotten down on my knees in front of Irene and begged for it once. You do it about three times a day!"
*Needless to say, this explodes into a fierce fight. Impact accidentally steps on the gas during the struggle and the Rig plows forward. Alarmed, Impact tries to regain control, but the Rig flies out of the parking lot and slides into a ditch.*
Pierce: "Owww, my fuckin' head. Impact, you idiot! ...Huh? Impact?"
*Impact is nowhere to be seen, but the rest of the Rig is empty and no evidence suggests we was thrown outside. Pierce crawls out of the wreckage and surveys the Rig.*
Pierce: "Damn it, one of the headlights is cracked. Some paint lost. Thank god the tires are okay. But where the hell did Impact go?"
Impact: *at the drive thru window* "So, about that combo meal..."
*Pierce, frustrated, waits by the Rig for Impact to return.*
Impact: "Oh, I'm going to enjoy this."
Pierce: "I don't know why you should bother eating it. Irene's gonna disembowel the both of us when she sees what's happened to the Rig and the food is just gonna fall out of the hole in your abdomen. Damn it, the wheels aren't even touching and the Rig is too heavy for my Pokemon to move it out of the ditch, nevermind the damage! Forget disembowelment, Irene's gonna slice us thin and sell us as deli sandwich meat."
Impact: "I'm sure she won't kill her boyfriend...would she?"
Pierce: "You might be right, but I still don't want her to see what's happened to the Rig. Let's think. We'll need a professional automechanic to pull this thing out of the ditch, and of course we'll also need money for repairs. Impact, we should hurry back to PATCA HQ to get your wallet."
Impact: "Oh, no need for that. I sort of don't have any money right now anyways."
Pierce: "What?! Where the hell did all your money go?"
Impact: "Oh, I bought some boots like the ones Santa Claus wears that would bring the wearer under my total control, but I could only get them in one size. They were too small, but the business closed down shortly before I tried to return them and now I'm stuck trying to sell them on e-bay to get at least some of the money back."
Pierce: "Santa Claus boots?"
Impact: "Yeah."
Pierce: "Santa Claus boots."
Impact: "Yep."
Pierce: "That's funny, because last Christmas I was trying to dress up as Santa Claus and I found these boots that were too small for me."
Impact: "Well, I'm sure it's only a mere coincidence. But don't worry, I think I know a very quick way to get the money together. Then we'll get the Rig out of the ditch, have it repaired in no time, eat a feast of Whitecastle, and Irene will be none the wiser."

*Back at the highway intersection.*
Police Chief Jenny: "You know, maybe those two went to some restaurant, got into a fight because they didn't have the money to pay for the food, accidentally drove the Rig into a nearby ditch, and are trying to find a quick way to make money in order to get it out of the ditch, have it repaired in no time, dine once more at the restaurant, and you would be none the wiser."
Irene: "Oh, I think you're just exaggerating."

[Astral Harmony]

Armored Bishoujo presents...

The Religions of Honmyr: a report by Odele Mournheart, a spiritual guide of the religions in Honmyr, currently residing in St Librim Chapel in Fainas Metropolis.

Odele: "Aww, man, and I was just about to head out to the Mouse Hole for a drink or seven. What? I may represent any number of religious orders, but that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to drink. But if it will get you to leave me alone, I'll give you a brief rundown of the various religions of Honmyr, in which there are many. However, we can generally group it down into a mere handful of different parties."

"So, here in Honmyr, you've got your Celestialists, Infernalists, Xenotologists, Legacists, and good ol' fashioned athiests. Athiests don't believe in any kind of higher power. 'Nough said about them. Legacists, on the other hand, are worshippers of various legendary and non-legendary Pokemon. Some of them might worship those legendary birds, some worship the gods of time and space, but even if they were to merely worship the common Bidoof or Bellsprout, we all group these people into the catch-all term of Legacist."

"Now, in order to tell you about the Celestialists, the Infernalists, and the Xenotologists, I'd need to tell you about Honmyr's biggest legend, based around genuine ancient history. So listen carefully, because I don't think I can explain it any more simpler than this. About seventeen-hundred years ago, not far from the dawn of the ancient Fahngrest Empire, mankind lived deep underground in caves. Why? Because the Fiend Pokemon had total control of the world above. Fiend Pokemon can be described as being a superior kind of Pokemon, but one clearly unable to make friends with humans. In fact, they butchered humans on sight. Then one day, a large creature appears before a young man. This creature is the Celestial Beast, Arcanael. And the young man was Rezonark, referred to in our scriptures as the Infernal Champion. And this is where you probably recalled that two of the groups are called Celestialists and Infernalists, right? Well, hang on, I'm getting to that part in a bit."

"Anyways, Arcanael and Rezonark formed a dynamic duo for the purpose of solidifying mankind's grasp on the Pokemon World, but the only way they could do that is by driving away the Fiend Pokemon, and they simply didn't have enough power with just the two of them. Thus, they went on a great journey to acquire six powerful artifacts called Arkments that would change humanity's fate forever. And they succeeded. We don't really know if the Fiend Pokemon were destroyed entirely, but rumors abound on Honmyr's Pokenet about sightings of unknown Pokemon in various areas throughout the landmass. But I digress. It is at this point that the legend splits, and this is where we get the divided groups of Celestialists and Infernalists. All we know is that there's some kind of betrayal. Celestialists believe that Rezonark became drunk from the power of the Arkments and Arcanael banded with the humans to defeat him, then sealed the Arkments away so that they could never be misused again. But the Infernalists believe that Arcanael was the betrayer, and stripped Rezonark of the Arkments to cripple his power and destroyed him, then forced the humans to seal the Arkments away so they could never be used against him. And that's generally where the whole religion ends. Celestialists worship Arcanael while Infernalists worship Rezonark but despite this, the two groups have not become hostile towards each other, which just goes to show how wonderful an open and accepting mind can be."

"Huh? The Xenotologists? Ahh, yeah, about those guys. Well, there's this popular little rumor circulating around the Pokenet that perhaps Arcanael isn't a Pokemon at all, like pretty much everyone else believes, and that in actuality he's an alien. You know the Dual Technologies Theorem or whatever they call it, right? Where somehow we have advanced technologies like teleportation devices and Pokeballs and computer systems that can transfer Pokemon like they were nothing but electronic data but yet our houses are very normal and kids are riding bicycles and our clothes are just kinda blah? The Xenotologists believe that Arcanael is the reason behind all the advanced technology we possess, and helped Rezonark defeat the Fiend Pokemon just so that Arcanael can present the technology to the humans that could use it. All in all, a lot of people thinks it's a crackpot hypothesis, but no one's ever been able to provide a solid counter arguement as to where all the hyper-advanced technology originates from. Anyways, the Xenotologists are generally opposed to all other religions, even Celestialists who also worship Arcanael, and have even gotten a little rowdy. We actually had a riot last week that required the Police Force to break it up. Eleven civilians sent to the hospital, I heard. Anyways, that's it."

Jonessa: "Hmm. Interesting. Well, thank you for your time, Miss Mournheart. I have to say, you handled the interview pretty well considering the cameraman's been ogling your breasts pretty much the entire time. Seriously, what the heck does a woman have to eat to grow them like that?"
Odele: "I don't think I do anything special."
Cameraman: "Ergh...sorry...about looking."
Odele: "Oh, it doesn't bother me much. I'm actually quite blind so I can't tell."
Jonessa: "Bwah?! How can that be, you looked so normal during the interview and when greeting us."
Odele: "Yeah, most people who come here to worship haven't realized that my eyes don't work, either. I've been living here for about four years so I know my way around well enough to appear natural. This guy named Cole takes care of me from time to time, doing all my outdoor errands and whatnot. He should be here any minutes, so if you'll please excuse me, I'm going to lock up the chapel and head out."