Girls aren't the only ones hurt by being objectified

[Kim]

snake's post is good and i like it

[Seil]

DareLondon set up a hidden-camera experiment to see how strangers would react to seeing domestic abuse for ManKind’s #ViolenceIsViolence campaign.

A couple (portrayed by actors) in a London park get into a heated argument and things begin to get out of hand. The man begins to physically abuse his “girlfriend.”

Onlookers immediately notice and take action. One woman even walks up to the guy yelling, “What’s wrong with you?”

More women gather around, and even threaten to call the police.

Then the situation changes. The actors re-create the same scenario, except this time the woman is abusing the man.

This time, bystanders react a little differently…

No one even attempts to help the guy, and people seem more entertained than anything.

As the dispute carries on, the video reveals a rather surprising statistic:

[phil_]

And that's something worth discussing, Seil, but we don't need to stop all discussion of objectification of women in order to discuss double-standards of domestic violence, nor does discussing one belittle or prevent discussion of the other. This is a very important thing to understand if you're going to get into social justice issues without going into full-on, "nothing is getting through here" defense mode as a het cis white male etc.

[Kim]

If Seil's statistic is accurate, which is something I'm currently looking into, then it is a serious problem and one worth discussing. It is, of course, a natural side-effect of patriarchal ideas about gender. When society is taught that Men Are Strong And Women Are Weak, or that Men Are Dominant And Women Submissive, violence against men by women will be seen as less of an issue because Men Are Strong And Women Are Weak. It's part of why ideas of strength and its relationship to gender need to be dismantled. Patriarchy hurts men and women, it's just that the men are unintended victims. Of course, that is a different discussion than sexualization and objectification, but whatever.

I would like to see more about this particularly statistic, tho. In particular, how they gathered their information and what factors may have influenced the results one way or another. I am not a statistician tho so unless I hear from folks who know better I will treat this statistic as valid in this thread until shown otherwise.

[Kim]

I guess I'm just not too sympathetic to a guy calling women hypocrites because they dislike being sexually objectified but aren't physically attracted to him.

Why would I offer encouragement to that?

Like, it he wanted to talk about beauty standards getting him down? I'd be sympathetic. Gee Aero I'm sorry beauty standards got you down.

He doesn't want to talk about that tho. He wants to call women hypocrites for talking about guys we think are hot and not being attracted to him.

EDIT: I might also suggest that if you're a person who calls women hypocrites for "drooling" over guys they find attractive and not wanting to bone you cuz you aren't physically fit, perhaps your issues with finding romance aren't as much about appearance as you seem to be assuming.

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by Kim

EDIT: I might also suggest that if you're a person who calls women hypocrites for "drooling" over guys they find attractive and not wanting to bone you cuz you aren't physically fit, perhaps your issues with finding romance aren't as much about appearance as you seem to be assuming.

If you are directly addressing me (though I never said anything about drooling or omg they aren't having sex with me): The hypocrite comment and the last part of my post are not at all connected. My intent was to show that it's pretty normal to have physical attraction to particular body types and the like, and that it doesn't require that one snubs everyone that they meet who does not necessarilly fit into that mold.

The "hypocrites" element stems from how easy it is to say one thing and not realize you are doing the opposite, at least on some level. It's pretty common across various facets of life.

[RawBot]

I think Aero is frustrated that women get cheered on and he is alone with what he thinks is a similar burden.

I'm sorry it sucks Aero. I think you'll become less unhappy if you don't "crystallise" around this difficulty and try to blame people, yourself or the vague notion that is Society. It might also help to further realise how we don't need looks or muscles/boobs to be successful with the opposite gender, and how it's more about the image and impression we convey


That said, this thread, no, the forum itself gives a cool insight into an aspect of American culture that I rarely experienced first hand. It barely exists at all in my own culture even though we're not that different. I can see both good and bad coming from this aspect that I'd rather not name until I pinpoint it with more certainty... It seems related to the weight of communities on individuals, not unlike what many are calling out in this thread.

What's even more fun is that I'm already quite familiar with American culture(s) and as I said, my own culture is among the closest to yours that you can find in the world, yet, I can still be struck
No wonder Russian, Indian, Japanese, Arabian cultures look so odd to us, and no wonder many among us Occidentals downright condemn or admire certain cultures altogether just because they came across certain oddities.

Sorry I diverged from the topic more than I intended. Feel free to create a separate thread or PM me if you want to go on or something.

[Marc v4.0]

I think it's really pretty clear she was still referring to Aero there, since he was the one doing exactly that thing as described.

Honestly, given recent events I'm not sure how anyone could think this topic was just a super great idea. It's only a few words away from 'girls only want jerks' territory.

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by Marc v4.0

I think it's really pretty clear she was still referring to Aero there, since he was the one doing exactly that thing as described.

Honestly, given recent events I'm not sure how anyone could think this topic was just a super great idea. It's only a few words away from 'girls only want jerks' territory.

I did use "hypocrites", and was worried I came across quite differently from how I had intended or thought I did. So I felt it was worthwhile to check and clarify, though upon re-read now I worry that my post might seem passive aggressive or something, so bleaugh. But anyway, I figure it can't hurt to clarify since my original post was brief, poorly constructed, and likely easily interpreted a few different ways.

[Tev]

I thought Cracked covered this like two years ago...