Asshat's Spectacular Shenanigans! - Page 15

Token · 11-16-2010, 01:50 PM

Song's finished, as are three of the ones I planned for the last thread. However, the song makes more sense for Johto, seeing as it's sung to Joey. So it won't be in the next update. However, when I finish a few more songs, I'll make an Asshat Bandcamp account, put together an album, and put it up for free. (Also there will be an update in the next few days.)

Current songs finished:
1. Trainer Boi
2. Pokegear
3. Hey, Joey, Fuck You
4. Credits

Planned songs:
1. Kakuna Rattata
2. VS Red
3. The Lance Fight Rap
4. The original song I had planned for the Lance fight
5. Dammit Johto.

Melfice · 11-16-2010, 02:11 PM

Hey Joey, where you goin' with that ball in your hand
Hey Joey, I said where you goin' with that ball in your hand

I'm going down to fight with my Rattata
You know, it's in the top percentage in this land

Etcetera, etcetera.

(Yes. I know. Horrible.)

EDIT: Wait, shit. I was still supposed to be on break.
Oh, well. I guess I'm back?

Aldurin · 11-16-2010, 05:50 PM

What about "fuck you, I have a red Gyrados"?

***Fenris*** · 11-23-2010, 07:19 PM

IASVVS Part 1
IASVVS Part 2
IASVVS Part 3

And now, part 4.

Token approached me and asked me to continue the series a 'lil bit ago and I had a spare minute during this thanksgiving break period so whelp.

Dracorion · 11-23-2010, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fenris

Token approached me and asked me to continue the series a 'lil bit ago and I had a spare minute during this thanksgiving break period so whelp.

Why do you hate me Fenris? What did I ever do to you?

That being said, I see three pokemon on Joey's team. I call bullshit.

***Fenris*** · 11-23-2010, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dracorion

Why do you hate me Fenris? What did I ever do to you?

That being said, I see three pokemon on Joey's team. I call bullshit.

You know what you did.

Also, egg, Flash slave.

Token · 11-24-2010, 10:27 AM

Fantastic, thanks! (Also, who the hell is enough of a pussy to need Flash?)

I'm currently on Ridiculous American Turkey Day Break, most of the writing for Chapter Four is finished, and I'm about halfway through playing Chapter Seven. I'm gonna try to get at least 4 and 5 up in the next two or three days, but as those unfortunate enough to follow my Twitter know, I'm sick as balls right now. As soon as I've posted this, I'm going back to sleep. After that, any time today I don't spend puking or shitting will be devoted to Asshat.

Token · 11-29-2010, 03:48 AM

Jegus fuck, this is update is late. Coincidentally, so is the time; it's 2:30 on the dot, and I'm just about to start writing. If you're seeing this text, I'm sorry, but this is another one of those partial updates I promised I wouldn't do anymore, most likely because I started to fall asleep midway through writing. Writer's block, cluster headaches, sickness, depression, school, and personal problems aren't conducive to a healthy update schedule, I'm afraid. Excuses, excuses, I know, but lately life has reached an unprecedented level of shittiness, even for me. I mean, jegus, I've been straight up suicidal the past two weeks; it's a little hard to focus on a Let's Play. But hey, you didn't come here to listen to me bitch and moan, you came for some goddamn abominations, so let's get on with it.

Chapter Four: Jaded

There is no way this isn't going to be horrendously stupid.

Right, as always.

I don't know if I'm more shocked by your allegation that something printed in this region full of incestuous mouth breathers makes sense, or the fact that any of you shits can read at all.

Alright, let's see if this actually does make sense...

What.

The.

Cock. That may be the single stupidest thing I have ever read.

Pfft. Are you trying to be old school? Real gangstas play their Game Boy Bricks. Made of Nintendium, motherfucker.

What the hell is a ~~Hufflepuff~~Hexter.

Fair enough, I guess.

I... really have no response to that...

I'd say "typical," but then again, these minichavs are actually in a school...

Stop saying stupid shit.

Meh.

Double Meh.

Kay bye.

Bet the stone was less weird looking than the "Pokemon."

No. Fucking. Way. That's shocking! You just blew my mind!

It's like a fucking mIrAcLe...

Wow! Even more miracles!

In my expert opinion, I do believe there is magic everywhere in this bitch.

The what now.

Why would you nickname that Woof "Thundog?" That's an absolutely horrible nickname!

That is nothing like a sentence.

I'm confiscating that shit. Go read a dictionary.

Doo-doo-doo-ROLE MODEL!

No.

Why is that name ringing a bell...

Oh lord. He sounds like almost as much of a virgin as people who do Let's Plays.

I stand by what I said. Also, you will never amount to anything.

That's dumb. You're dumb.

I suppose that makes sense. Not even Silph would be desperate enough to open a branch here.

Doo-doo-doo-BACKTRACK!

Guns. Are. Not. Toys.

Confiscated!

Fuck you, you have a Poloon.

More miracles!

Meh.

Might as well go train, I guess.

Ugh. That thing is ugly even for these fucked up fuckmuffins. I mean, its coloring is pretty much shit.

I can guarantee I will never use one of these ever.

That...voice...it couldn't be... could it?

...
...
...
...
F.
FF.
FFF.
FFFF.
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKK

FUCK YOU

FUCK THIS

GOD FUCK IT

MOTHER OF FUCK

FUCKING FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKED FUCK FUCKER

YOU SHIT TICKLING, SCROTUM GUZZLING, DUNSPARCE FUCKING COCKRING!

FUCK YOU FORALWAYS

Wow. That's so stupid I can't even be angry anymore.

I'm actually never going to use you, just because I can't pronounce your nickname.

Bug Pokemon, or tough. You can only pick one. Or Kittan, I guess, but he's mine.

Let's wrap this up quickly.

And then Squick leaked UNSPECIFIED FLUIDS on them until they passed out.

Yeah, you might want to clean those up...

Also: ROLL CALL!

I don't even want to know.

He'll probably be somewhat useful, I guess.

Sort of makes me miss Leafy...

This guy is actually pretty much a powerhouse. Sure, it's stats are lower than the others, for the most part, but it has good-ish typing, and it has Dark moves, so it's pretty useful. I get the feeling he'll be pretty much untouchable until I start running into some stronger Fighting types.

Right. Gym time...

It's a phase.

Why do trainers usually come to Gyms? I'm here to get the badge, fuckass.

Dude, I haven't even broken the law yet.

Um, no.

FIGHT DA POWAH!

I swear to Arceus. One pun from anyone in this gym, and I will burn this place to the fucking ground.

Consider yourself warned. Don't want you to be shocked when it happens.

Um. What.

Oh, Zapdos! What did you just shoot at that poor thing?

Squick's mostly good at... well, squicking me the fuck out, but that doesn't mean he can't hit you where it hertz.

What?

Um... I'm up for a rap-off, I guess?

Alright. Someone, gimme a beat. Let's go.

Let's get this started, let's end it quick,
You send out Buzzy, I called out Squick,
My puddle's Ground, 'gainst your lame Electric,
You might call it cheap, I don't give a frick.

No way you'll have better luck here in round two,
Your Molecute don't know what to do,

Cuz when you're up against ~~Token~~Asshat,
Ain't no doubt you'll just ~~get broken~~ go *splat.*

Man what that ain't even the right type,
What happened to all that "Electric hype?"
But if you think that's enough to cause me trouble...

Squick's Ground and Water! That's right, it's double!

You have no hope of defeating me in a rap-off. I'm simply the best there is.

Y'know, considering this region, I'm really glad you didn't just say I'd need a rubber.

Okay, you motherfucker. I gave you amp-le warning about puns.

This is gonna be easy as hell.

There are so many things wrong with what you just said.

Did the giant R on my chest tip you off? Anyway, I'm here for the badge.

Yeah, that was... sort of the plan the entire time, y'know?

BOSS BATTLE!
~~Token~~ASSHAT VS. ???

What. Is that? It's surprisingly only partially re-volt -ing.

Luckily, it's part Bug. And as a result, it's time for Clifford to do some assault and battery.

Wait it's actually called Thundog? Why does it say "woof?" Watt the hell?

Oh dear Mew, my eyes! Squick, kill!

I am so glad I can't see what you just did.

Gotta say, I expected more resistance.

In that case, I'll ohmit burning your gym down.

Woo.

I dunno why you fuckers had to go and change all the names of moves.

Double woo.

That has absolutely nothing to do with electricity. :|

Well, I pulled the plug on that fairly quickly.

No, I'm actually Batman.

Fuck you, I'm the hero this city deserves.

No. That would be to obvious.

CLIFF HANGER PART TWO

Aldurin · 11-29-2010, 06:19 PM

The prostitution line is a good change of pace from the standard poor grammar and cheesy lines.

But I would go pokemon trainer as not only would you be famous, but your pokemon would be sore instead of you.

Nikose Tyris · 11-29-2010, 07:04 PM

I've been waiting a long time for this update.

11-23-2010, 07:19 PM	#144
*Fenris* Administrator Join Date: May 2005 Location: East Coast Posts: 6,806	I am so very very sorry part 4. IASVVS Part 1 IASVVS Part 2 IASVVS Part 3 And now, part 4. Token approached me and asked me to continue the series a 'lil bit ago and I had a spare minute during this thanksgiving break period so whelp. __________________ "FENRIS IS AN ASSHOLE" - shiney

11-24-2010, 10:27 AM	#147
Token Magikoopa Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,789	I am so happy we have this tag. Fantastic, thanks! (Also, who the hell is enough of a pussy to need Flash?) I'm currently on Ridiculous American Turkey Day Break, most of the writing for Chapter Four is finished, and I'm about halfway through playing Chapter Seven. I'm gonna try to get at least 4 and 5 up in the next two or three days, but as those unfortunate enough to follow my Twitter know, I'm sick as balls right now. As soon as I've posted this, I'm going back to sleep. After that, any time today I don't spend puking or shitting will be devoted to Asshat.

11-29-2010, 03:48 AM	#148
Token Magikoopa Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,789	Chapter Four: Jaded Jegus fuck, this is update is late. Coincidentally, so is the time; it's 2:30 on the dot, and I'm just about to start writing. If you're seeing this text, I'm sorry, but this is another one of those partial updates I promised I wouldn't do anymore, most likely because I started to fall asleep midway through writing. Writer's block, cluster headaches, sickness, depression, school, and personal problems aren't conducive to a healthy update schedule, I'm afraid. Excuses, excuses, I know, but lately life has reached an unprecedented level of shittiness, even for me. I mean, jegus, I've been straight up suicidal the past two weeks; it's a little hard to focus on a Let's Play. But hey, you didn't come here to listen to me bitch and moan, you came for some goddamn abominations, so let's get on with it. Chapter Four: Jaded There is no way this isn't going to be horrendously stupid. Right, as always. I don't know if I'm more shocked by your allegation that something printed in this region full of incestuous mouth breathers makes sense, or the fact that any of you shits can read at all. Alright, let's see if this actually does make sense... What. The. Cock. That may be the single stupidest thing I have ever read. Pfft. Are you trying to be old school? Real gangstas play their Game Boy Bricks. Made of Nintendium, motherfucker. What the hell is a ~~Hufflepuff~~Hexter. Fair enough, I guess. I... really have no response to that... I'd say "typical," but then again, these minichavs are actually in a school... Stop saying stupid shit. Meh. Double Meh. Kay bye. Bet the stone was less weird looking than the "Pokemon." No. Fucking. Way. That's shocking! You just blew my mind! It's like a fucking mIrAcLe... Wow! Even more miracles! In my expert opinion, I do believe there is magic everywhere in this bitch. The what now. Why would you nickname that Woof "Thundog?" That's an absolutely horrible nickname! That is nothing like a sentence. I'm confiscating that shit. Go read a dictionary. Doo-doo-doo-ROLE MODEL! No. Why is that name ringing a bell... Oh lord. He sounds like almost as much of a virgin as people who do Let's Plays. I stand by what I said. Also, you will never amount to anything. That's dumb. You're dumb. I suppose that makes sense. Not even Silph would be desperate enough to open a branch here. Doo-doo-doo-BACKTRACK! Guns. Are. Not. Toys. Confiscated! Fuck you, you have a Poloon. More miracles! Meh. Might as well go train, I guess. Ugh. That thing is ugly even for these fucked up fuckmuffins. I mean, its coloring is pretty much shit. I can guarantee I will never use one of these ever. That...voice...it couldn't be... could it? ... ... ... ... F. FF. *FFF.* *FFFF.* *FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKK* FUCK YOU FUCK THIS GOD FUCK IT MOTHER OF FUCK FUCKING FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING FUCKED FUCK FUCKER YOU SHIT TICKLING, SCROTUM GUZZLING, DUNSPARCE FUCKING COCKRING! FUCK YOU FORALWAYS Wow. That's so stupid I can't even be angry anymore. I'm actually never going to use you, just because I can't pronounce your nickname. Bug Pokemon, or tough. You can only pick one. Or Kittan, I guess, but he's mine. Let's wrap this up quickly. And then Squick leaked UNSPECIFIED FLUIDS on them until they passed out. Yeah, you might want to clean those up... Also: ROLL CALL! I don't even want to know. He'll probably be somewhat useful, I guess. Sort of makes me miss Leafy... This guy is actually pretty much a powerhouse. Sure, it's stats are lower than the others, for the most part, but it has good-ish typing, and it has Dark moves, so it's pretty useful. I get the feeling he'll be pretty much untouchable until I start running into some stronger Fighting types. Right. Gym time... It's a phase. Why do trainers usually come to Gyms? I'm here to get the badge, fuckass. Dude, I haven't even broken the law yet. Um, no. FIGHT DA POWAH! I swear to Arceus. One pun from anyone in this gym, and I will burn this place to the fucking ground. Consider yourself warned. Don't want you to be shocked when it happens. Um. What. Oh, Zapdos! What did you just shoot at that poor thing? Squick's mostly good at... well, squicking me the fuck out, but that doesn't mean he can't hit you where it hertz. What? Um... I'm up for a rap-off, I guess? Alright. Someone, gimme a beat. Let's go. Let's get this started, let's end it quick, You send out Buzzy, I called out Squick, My puddle's Ground, 'gainst your lame Electric, You might call it cheap, I don't give a frick. No way you'll have better luck here in round two, Your Molecute don't know what to do, Cuz when you're up against ~~Token~~Asshat, Ain't no doubt you'll just ~~get broken~~ go splat. Man what that ain't even the right type, What happened to all that "Electric hype?" But if you think that's enough to cause me trouble... Squick's Ground and Water!* That's right, it's double!* You have no hope of defeating me in a rap-off. I'm simply the best there is. Y'know, considering this region, I'm really glad you didn't just say I'd need a rubber. Okay, you motherfucker. I gave you amp-le warning about puns. This is gonna be easy as hell. There are so many things wrong with what you just said. Did the giant R on my chest tip you off? Anyway, I'm here for the badge. Yeah, that was... sort of the plan the entire time, y'know? BOSS BATTLE! ~~Token~~ASSHAT VS. ??? What. Is that? It's surprisingly only partially re-volt -ing. Luckily, it's part Bug. And as a result, it's time for Clifford to do some assault and battery. Wait it's actually called Thundog? Why does it say "woof?" Watt the hell? Oh dear Mew, my eyes! Squick, kill! I am so glad I can't see what you just did. Gotta say, I expected more resistance. In that case, I'll ohmit burning your gym down. Woo. I dunno why you fuckers had to go and change all the names of moves. Double woo. That has absolutely nothing to do with electricity. :\| Well, I pulled the plug on that fairly quickly. No, I'm actually Batman. Fuck you, I'm the hero this city deserves. No. That would be to obvious. CLIFF HANGER PART TWO Last edited by Token; 11-29-2010 at 01:38 PM.

11-16-2010, 01:50 PM	#141
Token Magikoopa Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,789	Song's finished, as are three of the ones I planned for the last thread. However, the song makes more sense for Johto, seeing as it's sung to Joey. So it won't be in the next update. However, when I finish a few more songs, I'll make an Asshat Bandcamp account, put together an album, and put it up for free. (Also there will be an update in the next few days.) Current songs finished: 1. Trainer Boi 2. Pokegear 3. Hey, Joey, Fuck You 4. Credits Planned songs: 1. Kakuna Rattata 2. VS Red 3. The Lance Fight Rap 4. The original song I had planned for the Lance fight 5. Dammit Johto.

11-16-2010, 05:50 PM	#143
Aldurin Lakitu Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,648	What about "fuck you, I have a red Gyrados"?

11-29-2010, 06:19 PM	#149
Aldurin Lakitu Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 4,648	The prostitution line is a good change of pace from the standard poor grammar and cheesy lines. But I would go pokemon trainer as not only would you be famous, but your pokemon would be sore instead of you.