The Dreadful - Page 16

rapscal_2002 · 04-08-2011, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MSperoni

Glad you're liking the art

In summation: Kit used to be part of a gang lead by a woman named Jeanne. Jeanne had Kit shot and Kit wants revenge.

In more summation: Kit is also working for an agency that is after Jeanne as well. Kit's sister was also part of the gang and has disappeared along with Jeanne, and Kit has no idea where they are. Kit is trying to get information from Liz, who was another member of her gang but is currently not with Jeanne for some reason which we don't know yet.

I guess that's pretty much it..

EDIT: Out of curiosity, is everything I typed in the "summation" above clear enough in the actual comic? I mean, that's what I was going for plot-wise and if it's not clear I need to work on improving. I have read the plot summary on Sardapedia and TVtropes and they nail it exactly (in fact they put it better than I could). So I dunno if it's something I ought to be worried about or not.

To be honest, just reading it as the updates came I got pretty lost, but going back and reading it again I figured it all out

MSperoni · 04-08-2011, 09:33 PM

Yay

I think it reads a lot better as a whole too. The story is pretty simple, and I think when one reads it as a whole they don't spend time dwelling on the information and over-complicating it.

I also have spent most of my time in the comics biz drawing and not writing so I'm sure to have a few awkward spots here and there (I still have a lot of awkward spots in my drawing).

Still, it'll get better as I go

I kinda wish I could have another attempt at the beginning, (namely the Kit/Muttonchops scene). I think I would tighten it up a lot more and maybe have some more "stuff" happen between pages 2-5 (like instead of Kit talking about what happened at the hospital I show it actually happening).

Something tells me a redo of that level would throw the site into some kinda meltdown. It took like 4 weeks for the updated version of page 007 to appear and that was a single page!

Pip Boy · 04-08-2011, 10:03 PM

Im enjoying the story so far and right now it looks like things are going to get interesting. As hard as it is, I think Im actually going to force myself to not look for a couple of months so I can come back and have a bigger picture to look at.

rpgdemon · 04-09-2011, 12:09 AM

I think that it's been pretty clear.

Alanim · 04-09-2011, 06:36 AM

I think it's been pretty clear, but I do have a minor idea. on that last panel I feel like kit is "sighing" but I'm not sure, perhaps there could be a small annotation of what emotion she's using like "sigh" could mean reluctant sigh, "sarcasm", etc.

I'm not sure if there's enough room to do this but maybe try and experiment with it, and see if it helps add emotion to the story.

*edit* Actually, most of the time you're pretty good with the facial expressions, but the actual sound effect might go a long way, but only key things like "sigh" and "grrr" etc. if you get what I mean.

Observer · 04-09-2011, 11:20 PM

Well I mostly meant that I did not know why Kit was betrayed or what her sister is up to in the gang, or who is employing her or what the gang does or who Jeanne and etc. Nor am I entirely certain what kind of person (demon?) Kit is or what her intentions are. The sort of thing I am sure will be revealed in due time. What has happened so far makes sense. Sorry for the confusion in my response.

Kim · 04-12-2011, 01:01 PM

Oh goddammit this gets funnier every time I read it.

Loyal · 04-12-2011, 01:24 PM

Each of the first four panels could tell a different story all on their own.

russianreversal · 04-12-2011, 02:59 PM

That was...

That was definitely something right there.

TDK · 04-12-2011, 03:14 PM

What's going on with El Sabueso's guns in the first panel? They're like...behind the hand, especially his left hand.

It looks like the hands were drawn and then the guns added afterward. :I

Actually it also looks like this in the third panel, but only the left hand.

Is...is there something wrong with his left hand? :P

Loved the comic regardless, though.

04-08-2011, 09:33 PM	#2
MSperoni Artist and Writer of Comics Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 2,666	Yay I think it reads a lot better as a whole too. The story is pretty simple, and I think when one reads it as a whole they don't spend time dwelling on the information and over-complicating it. I also have spent most of my time in the comics biz drawing and not writing so I'm sure to have a few awkward spots here and there (I still have a lot of awkward spots in my drawing). Still, it'll get better as I go I kinda wish I could have another attempt at the beginning, (namely the Kit/Muttonchops scene). I think I would tighten it up a lot more and maybe have some more "stuff" happen between pages 2-5 (like instead of Kit talking about what happened at the hospital I show it actually happening). Something tells me a redo of that level would throw the site into some kinda meltdown. It took like 4 weeks for the updated version of page 007 to appear and that was a single page! __________________ I do commissions! So Email me if you'd like anything and we'll work out the details! matts_1104@yahoo.com Follow me on Twitter for Dreadful news and random info! (though mostly it's just me babbling about nerd-stuff) http://twitter.com/#!/mSperoni Check out my Deviant Art page if you'd like to see other pictures I've made! http://exmile.deviantart.com/ Follow The Dreadful on Facebook!

04-09-2011, 12:09 AM	#4
rpgdemon Not a Taco Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 3,313	I think that it's been pretty clear. __________________ I did a lot of posting on here as a teenager, and I was pretty awful. Even after I learned, grew up, and came to be on the right side of a lot of important issues, I was still angry, abrasive, and generally increased the amount of hate in the world, in pretty unacceptable ways. On the off chance that someone is taking a trip down memory lane looking through those old threads, I wanted to devote my signature to say directly to you, I'm sorry. Thank you for letting me be better, NPF.

04-09-2011, 06:36 AM	#5
Alanim Mouth Guy Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 34	I think it's been pretty clear, but I do have a minor idea. on that last panel I feel like kit is "sighing" but I'm not sure, perhaps there could be a small annotation of what emotion she's using like "sigh" could mean reluctant sigh, "sarcasm", etc. I'm not sure if there's enough room to do this but maybe try and experiment with it, and see if it helps add emotion to the story. edit Actually, most of the time you're pretty good with the facial expressions, but the actual sound effect might go a long way, but only key things like "sigh" and "grrr" etc. if you get what I mean. Last edited by Alanim; 04-09-2011 at 10:23 PM.

04-09-2011, 11:20 PM	#6
Observer Troopa Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 38	Well I mostly meant that I did not know why Kit was betrayed or what her sister is up to in the gang, or who is employing her or what the gang does or who Jeanne and etc. Nor am I entirely certain what kind of person (demon?) Kit is or what her intentions are. The sort of thing I am sure will be revealed in due time. What has happened so far makes sense. Sorry for the confusion in my response. __________________ I added a signature to make it easier to tell when my posts end and my signature begins.

04-12-2011, 01:01 PM	#7
Kim adorable Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 12,950	Oh goddammit this gets funnier every time I read it. __________________ this post is about how to successfully H the Kimmy

04-08-2011, 10:03 PM	#3
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	Im enjoying the story so far and right now it looks like things are going to get interesting. As hard as it is, I think Im actually going to force myself to not look for a couple of months so I can come back and have a bigger picture to look at.

04-12-2011, 02:59 PM	#9
russianreversal . Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 1,435	Can't stop laughing at "Muh guns!" That was... That was definitely something right there.

04-12-2011, 03:14 PM	#10
TDK Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Reality Posts: 2,914	What's going on with El Sabueso's guns in the first panel? They're like...behind the hand, especially his left hand. It looks like the hands were drawn and then the guns added afterward. :I Actually it also looks like this in the third panel, but only the left hand. Is...is there something wrong with his left hand? :P Loved the comic regardless, though.