What is a Dorf? A miserable little pile of booze!

[CABAL49]

A dorf is a small town in Germany.

[Locke cole]

I'd like to be dorfed. Knowing very little about how to actually play or which jobs have the greatest life expectancy, I'm just going to request "anything but a Noble".

[Melfice]

Dwarf me.
Initially as a swords-dwarf.
Should I be re-incarnated, after my inevitable de-carnation, I choose to be a cripple.

Yes. The first cripple you get after the swords-dwarf dies shall be named Melfice.

After you kill off said cripple, make me a farmer.

[Flarecobra]

If there's a security job... that one should be named "Mr. Dorf, Chief of Security."

[Thadius]

LET THERE BE TEXTURE PACKS.



And suddenly.



There was.



Light.

(I haven't actually played anything yet today, but I intend to! I was mostly running around in the background, making sure all the stuff to keep my game from crashing was running. Also, answering this request.

Playing now, though!)

[McTahr]

Stop.
Hammerdorf.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Dorf me!
Brewmeister, good sir.

Or cat skinner. whatever works best for you.

[Thadius]

"Right, I need you three to dig into the mountain. Try to dig up towards the north and a layer above, I saw some trees up the hill as we rolled in. Trees need soil to grow ON, and we need soil to grow our plants IN. Don't forget to leave a spot for the Trade Depot."

The three miners turned and began digging into the hillside at the speed only a dwarf can produce, crunching much of the usable stone to dust as they passed. Ilral turned to Erib next.

"There were a few trees up north, I don't think there should be anything between you and them, and we need more wood for beds than simply deconstructing the wagon can provide."

Erib nodded and brought her axe to rest on her shoulder, then went off to fell some trees. Ilral turned last to Nil and Solon.

"Sorry, but we need to get everything into nice piles so that we can tear the wagon down when she comes back. We're all hauling for now."

The planter and metalsmith sighed, but aided Ilral in the unloading of the wagon.



Within a few days, the dwarves had organized themselves into something vaguely resembling a party of dwarves that got along. The miners dug and didn't question orders, and everyone else understood the importance of following seemingly crazy commands.

"All I'm saying is, we didn't build workshops outside back home!"

Ilral sighed. "Yes. I know, Erib. But until we have a large enough space within, we have to make do without. And we still need furniture for later, like beds to sleep on."

Erib groaned. "Still on that, eh?"

Ilral allowed a small hint of a grin around his mouth. "Well, seeing as how I have no real desire to sleep under the sky or on a cold hard cave floor..."

Just then, Kumil came out and waved to Ilral. "Might wanna take a look at what me and the boys found."

Ilral picked himself up and began walking down the tunnel the miners had dug. Just then, he heard a howl on the wind. One that sounded eerily similar to the one that he heard months previous.



Only this one seemed...not quite so angry? He wasn't sure why.

Ilral climbed up the crude stone stairs and looked at the chamber the miners had dug. "We found some soil there, on the east wall, but your idea that there would be a lot of soil here isn't panning out."

Ilral tried to remember as he placed his hand on the eastern wall. There were trees up there, right? Surely there had to be tons of soil around here somewhere. "This changes future plans, but not current ones. Keep excavating this chamber, it can still be useful. But when you're done with that, dig a few exploratory tunnels this way looking for more soil."

Just then, one of the miners laughed. "Already done, boss."

Ilral nodded. "I'll start moving everything and everyone inside, then. This will be main storage for now, I'll change it up later, but my top priority is getting everyone inside."

The others were none too pleased to be told that not only would they have to clear the floor to this small room, but then also move all their possessions into it. However, it gave them something to do besides talk about the cold and play in the snow, so it was a welcome thing.

The dwarves had only just finished their project when...



A month and a half into their occupation of this area, the snow thawed. Welcome indeed was the sun and its triumph over the area. Though, Ilral was not pleased to find that the horse and water buffalo had been having a kicking match. He was even less pleased to find out the other dwarves knew about it, and had placed bets on it. However, Kumil gave him news that distracted him from the bout of animal on animal violence.



"Done what you asked for. Got a nice large room of dirt."

Ilral nodded to Solon. "Get your farming act together, we're going to be needing a lot of food eventually."

Ilral then took Kumil aside. "I don't suppose I could interest you in a little project idea I have, could I?"

Kumil smiled. "Keep talking."

Another month passed before the talk would bear fruit.



"Dwarves of Trustcity! Here lies our first line of defense: A simple, yet effective, drawbridge!"

The small gathering cheered, each in their own way. Which is to say, the miners didn't cheer at all. They did at least nod to both Ilral and Kumil for making this happen, though they knew what Ilral's next set of orders were going to be.

Erib paused mid-cheer. "Do you hear that?"



"It sounds like...whinnying."

Ilral looked away sheepishly. He had ordered the horse and water buffalo brought inside, but it appears that the horse missed getting into the fort by just the smallest unit of time, and was now trapped beneath the bridge.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Ilral stated. The miners grinned to themselves and lumbered off, not wanting to be around for the discussion that might ensue and burden them with even more work.



In seemingly no time at all, a crude dwelling place had been dug out. The miners were working on furnishing it, and Ilral was in the middle of giving orders for what furniture he wanted. Erib, however, intervened again.

"Remember when you closed the drawbridge to protect us from the big bad wolverine?"

Ilral nodded, not really paying attention. He had to stay focused on the miners and being firm with them.

"I think you locked a cat out there."



Ilral paused, mid-statement. There had been one less annoying tomcat around, true. So that's where it went. "And I suppose you want me to save the cat?"

Erib shrugged. "It's all the same to me. However, there are probably trees and bushes and all sorts of things out there now that it's spring. We should at least consider opening the door again."

Ilral sighed. "Fine, pull the lever, and get to harvesting."



After another few weeks, the rooms were furnished at last. "I didn't think having only one mason's workshop would slow us down as much as it did..." Ilral mused. Before he began work on the dining room, he might want to consider the workshop area first, if only to have more space for more mason shops down the line.

Despite the way this ends, this is not, in fact, a juncture at which you may choose. It's merely a halting point for now.

Next time: More excavations!

[Thadius]

Some days after the workshop area had been put down, Ilral showed Kumil and the others the plans he had for the next stage of expansion. "Ideally, we'll put down a dining area here. The end of that tunnel will be for the next project."

Kumil nodded, and the miners went to work. No sooner had they started than...



Two married couples came over the hill.



Loyal was quite welcome, Solon needed all the help in the fields he could get.



Hawk was not only a blacksmith, but had apparently had to defend his wife a few times on the way here. As a result, he was somewhat trained in the art of war. Somewhat.



McTahr, however, was far his superior. Like Hawk, he had a grasp of battle. Unlike Hawk, he had a damn good grasp of battle.



He already had more than a few kills to his name to prove this. In honor of this, he was immediately promoted to Militia Commander. The title was somewhat meaningless as he was the ONLY militia man at the time, but until someone better came along, it was his title. Until then, he would do the one thing he knew best: fishing.



Aldurin was also welcome, for more hands made the crops come in faster.



McTahr got his own squad. Granted, they had nothing to do, but Ilral already had a plan for that.



One that would be resolved after the large communal dining room was dug out. During that time, Ilral busied himself with making various knicknacks, toys, instruments, and the like. He knew of the dwarven way to send a convoy out to every outpost come fall, so he wanted to have things to trade by then.

Kumil interrupted him one day. "GOLD!"



Ilral was stunned for a minute. "What?"

"Me and the boys found gold while digging out that room of yours!"

Ilral thought very, very fast. Gold would be highly useful in the coming times, but they couldn't afford the time to dig it all out NOW. "We'll finish mining the gold out later, we need a dining room first. But we'll not leave it, believe me."

After the room had been dug, Ilral stuck Kumil and her boys on more rooms, because he had a hunch...



That turned out to be correct. No less than half a dozen dwarves and their pets came over the hill next, and Ilral intended to house them all.



Flare the Tanner was more than that: she'd come over the hill with a fair grasp of warfare and the art of the spear. She'd be allowed to continue her civilian life for now, but Ilral made it known she would be expected to serve with McTahr should the need arise.



Skweeb was even more welcome, for a dwarf with a fine grasp of brewing was highly valued indeed.



Melfice the gem setter had rudimentary knowledge in the art of the sword, but the fact that he was not adverse to also becoming a gem cutter pleased Ilral. Finally, they'd get these gems that were everywhere cut!



Shyria offered her services as a hunter to the fortress, and the fortress accepted: more meat for the larder was a rarity, even with McTahr's fishing.

Shortly after all were inside...



The wind picked up, and began turning the ground white.



After a few weeks, the storm abated, leaving the land looking quite similar to how it had been when Ilral found it. During this time, the miners dug and furnished the rooms with fine rock furniture, and Erib provided lovely beds for all the new citizens.



It wasn't too much longer before a caravan arrived. Ilral had the few crafts he'd made hauled to the depot, and the nearest dwarf took the duty of bartering for the goods. Ilral emphaized the need for more seeds, so that was what the fortress bartered for. Barely after the two representatives shook hands on the deal...



Were a trio of kobolds spotted by the cats of the fortress. The cowardly wretches fled across the landscape, but the dwarves now knew that they would have to defend themselves. Ilral modified the militia chart to include any dwarf that had any experience in war to serve under McTahr. They had yet to get a proper barracks up or anything for it, but it was certainly on the to-do list.



First, though, they had to properly celebrate the opening of their new dining room. The celebratory round of drinks was interrupted, though.



Kumil herself took odd, and wandered over to the mason's shop, grabbing a few rocks on the way.



Ilral knew not what she would make out of these random stones, but trusted her. And it paid off.





A fine floodgate was made, and Ilral appraised it to be nice, but ultimately worthless. Still, the experience had made Kumil a master mason, and now the fortress would not want for fine blocks or masterwork stone furniture.

Kumil took her boys and began the project Ilral had whispered to her before she took odd, and within a few levels, it paid off.



A vast chasm was found beneath the fortress, one that seemed relatively harmless. Kumil and her boys worked on making a more pleasing accessway, and succeeded easily.



The only question now was...

Were they ready?

To all dorfed people: Seriously, what is up with all of you showing up with warfare skills? I should just name the squad 'The NPF squad.'

Decision time, though! Do I send you all into the cavern to scout it out, or would you prefer I allot you all a barracks and let you train first?

[Aldurin]

Requesting divorce from Hawk, also send us all into the cavern so it's more likely for him to die (life insurance is a big deal these days).