"Mister I'll Make A Man Out Of You" or "Teach Seil How To Be More Manly"

[Seil]

I have a penis.

This is not news to me, I've had it for a while now. It's only in the last two decades that we've gotten to know each other, but we're fairly well acquainted. That being said, having a penis does not make me a man.

...Technically it does - biologically speaking.

But here's the thing - I don't know how to be manly. I cannae grow a full beard. I don't own a car where the engine goes "BRAAAAHNNNVROOMVROOMVROOM!" and I've never had sex. I like pretty things, my favorite color is pink and my chest hair is nowhere near Robin Williams lustrous mane. I like pretty dresses and sexy fashion. I like high heels and bending at the waist. Show tunes, guys, show tunes and musicals!

I can chop wood, build a fire and cook a steak over it, though. Scotch is delicious. I can smoke a cigar.

The thing being that I don't have any of the stereotypical masculine qualities that "real men (TM)" have, and with the gender revolution that has (arguably) been going on since before the suffragettes, traditional gender roles are changing. I hate change. But this change is good. It's hard, and trans people and cisgendered people and gay people and gender fluid people are really suffering - like Oh My God, guys, do they have it bad - but with traditional gender roles changing, I feel that the traditional definition of masculinity is going to disappear. Which is good. But I don't get to be a part of men - I want a piece of that man sandwich.

I grew up with the idea of macho men and girly girls and Knights In Shining Armor rescuing Damsels In Distress, and that's what I want. And I know I can have that and not be an ass or douchebag or mean or rude like a lot of Real Men (TM) are, and that I can be whoever I want to be, and I shouldn't let society define who I am, but I am absolutely batshit crazy and I can't change nearly three decades of learning gender stereotypes go.

So here's the post for sober people:

Seil wants to be a manly man, but likes things that are girly girly. Seil understands that gender roles are changing, and that's good, they need to change, but Seil still wants to adhere to those roles, but he wants to be a good man. How can Seil become a manly man quickly, to show off to adoring girly girls?



Because you were going to Google the song anyway - and I'm fairly certain it's genderally insensitive, and Disney is not manly.