Girls aren't the only ones hurt by being objectified

[synkr0nized]

So no one's going to take a pause from semantics to give Aero words of encouragement?



People of any and all genders are often hypocrites, Aero. We all certainly have things that appeal to us, at varying levels, about physical appearance, and unfortunately often these desires can overshadow intent or, in less generous terms, take center stage despite what people say out of the other side of their face. That doesn't mean it will always happen, and that doesn't mean that it will always happen to you / among your potential relationship partners.

Sometimes it's nice to look even if it's not realistic. I was recently dating someone that had a list of celebrity/athlete partners that she'd go on about, but I was never judged on a similar scale, if you get what I mean.

[Solid Snake]

Originally Posted by synkr0nized

So no one's going to take a pause from semantics to give Aero words of encouragement?

Aero: I personally simultaneously feel empathetic towards your personal struggles with being considered 'unattractive' or 'undesirable' as a relational partner,

Really, we're only objecting to Aero using inappropriate terminology to describe a phenomenon that is completely normal and absolutely human. Namely, we all want to feel attractive and desirable, and I don't think anyone who's been arguing 'semantics' objects to the notion that we feel a fundamental desire to be loved.

When Aero starts using language that suggests that he's choosing to view this a gender issue where all women everywhere are part of 'the problem' in collectively rejecting him, that's where it becomes problematic.

It's subsequently possible to empathize with Aero's real underlying issue, while seeking to deter him from mis-defining what that issue actually is. If anything, that 'tough love' approach ultimately helps him in his quest to find love. If he ditches a lot of the attitude that would, if unchecked, lead to bitterness towards women, he'll have a much easier time actually relating to the first one he meets who he'd be truly compatible with and who'd reciprocate affection.

[Kim]

I guess I'm just not too sympathetic to a guy calling women hypocrites because they dislike being sexually objectified but aren't physically attracted to him.

Why would I offer encouragement to that?

Like, it he wanted to talk about beauty standards getting him down? I'd be sympathetic. Gee Aero I'm sorry beauty standards got you down.

He doesn't want to talk about that tho. He wants to call women hypocrites for talking about guys we think are hot and not being attracted to him.

EDIT: I might also suggest that if you're a person who calls women hypocrites for "drooling" over guys they find attractive and not wanting to bone you cuz you aren't physically fit, perhaps your issues with finding romance aren't as much about appearance as you seem to be assuming.

[McTahr]

Originally Posted by Aerozord

this is what I'm talking about, the moment a white male talks about being treated poorly by society people dog pile on them about having the audacity to dare imply that I am in any way dehumanized. So fixated on needing a group to blame they instantly reject the notion that they have any issues themselves.

Because heaven forbid someone imply that women can be shallow, abusive, and treat men as mere objects to lust after.

Unless a white male has for decades/centuries/whatever has suffered systemic oppression, marginalization, and dehumanization, their individual, statistically insignificant day-to-day suffering will not be as socially noteworthy as that of other, less privileged groups.

Bad stuff happens. That's what bad stuff does.

Bad stuff happening does not equate with an entire culture built around dehumanizing half the population.

Please, if you've been hurt, seek out a good friend* and talk it out. And if you've been hurt, maybe wait until the hurt passes to wade into social issues.

*A good friend who is at least remotely socially conscious and not of any particular awful X-ist group.

[RawBot]

I think Aero is frustrated that women get cheered on and he is alone with what he thinks is a similar burden.

I'm sorry it sucks Aero. I think you'll become less unhappy if you don't "crystallise" around this difficulty and try to blame people, yourself or the vague notion that is Society. It might also help to further realise how we don't need looks or muscles/boobs to be successful with the opposite gender, and how it's more about the image and impression we convey


That said, this thread, no, the forum itself gives a cool insight into an aspect of American culture that I rarely experienced first hand. It barely exists at all in my own culture even though we're not that different. I can see both good and bad coming from this aspect that I'd rather not name until I pinpoint it with more certainty... It seems related to the weight of communities on individuals, not unlike what many are calling out in this thread.

What's even more fun is that I'm already quite familiar with American culture(s) and as I said, my own culture is among the closest to yours that you can find in the world, yet, I can still be struck
No wonder Russian, Indian, Japanese, Arabian cultures look so odd to us, and no wonder many among us Occidentals downright condemn or admire certain cultures altogether just because they came across certain oddities.

Sorry I diverged from the topic more than I intended. Feel free to create a separate thread or PM me if you want to go on or something.

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by Kim

EDIT: I might also suggest that if you're a person who calls women hypocrites for "drooling" over guys they find attractive and not wanting to bone you cuz you aren't physically fit, perhaps your issues with finding romance aren't as much about appearance as you seem to be assuming.

If you are directly addressing me (though I never said anything about drooling or omg they aren't having sex with me): The hypocrite comment and the last part of my post are not at all connected. My intent was to show that it's pretty normal to have physical attraction to particular body types and the like, and that it doesn't require that one snubs everyone that they meet who does not necessarilly fit into that mold.

The "hypocrites" element stems from how easy it is to say one thing and not realize you are doing the opposite, at least on some level. It's pretty common across various facets of life.

[Marc v4.0]

I think it's really pretty clear she was still referring to Aero there, since he was the one doing exactly that thing as described.

Honestly, given recent events I'm not sure how anyone could think this topic was just a super great idea. It's only a few words away from 'girls only want jerks' territory.

[Tev]

I thought Cracked covered this like two years ago...

[synkr0nized]

Originally Posted by Marc v4.0

I think it's really pretty clear she was still referring to Aero there, since he was the one doing exactly that thing as described.

Honestly, given recent events I'm not sure how anyone could think this topic was just a super great idea. It's only a few words away from 'girls only want jerks' territory.

I did use "hypocrites", and was worried I came across quite differently from how I had intended or thought I did. So I felt it was worthwhile to check and clarify, though upon re-read now I worry that my post might seem passive aggressive or something, so bleaugh. But anyway, I figure it can't hurt to clarify since my original post was brief, poorly constructed, and likely easily interpreted a few different ways.

[shiney]

Some people second-guess themselves. synk seventeenth-guesses.

synk. Don't seventeenth-guess. Don't be that guy.