Assassin's Creed 3: America! Fuck Yeah!

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

I'm guessing AC3 is going to rely on very different gameplay mechanics than anything we've seen in AC before, because there simply weren't very tall buildings in most cities and even the tallest church in Philadelphia won't instill many thrills.

Also: From now on I'm going to bitch incessantly about every middle-ages Europe title released. How dare vidjagame companies spend so much time trying to placate the French, British, Italian and German markets! :P

Where's our America: Total War, Creative Assemblies? Freakin' biased British, spending all that time with Europe and Japan. What about us?

Empire Total War's main campaign/tutorial is focused on the American Revolution.

America is essentially an unstoppable juggernaut in that game because most of the AI focuses on defending their home territories, since if they lose those they lose.
By my estimation, you really, geniunely must be the worst Total War player in history to lose as America in Empire Total War.

[Solid Snake]

It's not like the United Provinces didn't totally do America's thing before America did.

...And yes, the fact that I know that is intended to portray to you the fact that my "representative democracy vs. deity-ordained monarchy" joke was a joke.

I mean it's one of those half-true Fifthfiend knocking Chrono Cross 'jokes' where I'm just exaggerating something that's actually true, namely that my preference for democratic institutions and my respect for (most, NOT all) of the Founding Fathers would have led me to join the Revolutionary War on the American side had I ended up there by some accident of time travel.

...But it was still a joke. And I'm surprised my overuse of 'Murica instead of America didn't display that in spades.
But 'Murica invented everything you guys

[Professor Smarmiarty]

But even your "true facts" are horrible distortions of the respective motives of the founding father, the political system of britain in the 18th century and the political system set up b the founding fathers.
Like you can't just be like "Oh I was totally joking about my horrible distortions of history....but they are still all true". The monarchy hadn't had any real power in Britain since 1688, the founding fathers were terrified of democracy which is precisely why they put fuck loads of measurses in place to prevent the people from having significant power, nd they were more concerned with replaced their british superiors with themselves as superiors.

[Solid Snake]

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

But even your "true facts" are horrible distortions of the respective motives of the founding father, the political system of britain in the 18th century and the political system set up b the founding fathers.
Like you can't just be like "Oh I was totally joking about my horrible distortions of history....but they are still all true".

Well, in my defense, I'm not a communist and I respectfully disagree with you on many of your historical opinions that are likely informed by your sociopolitical perspectives?
Like, I get it, you've ranted and raved for years now about how much you despise the Founding Fathers and we've been down that road before. Disagreeing with you is not akin to conceding defeat, unless you truly are the type of person who's conveniently operating under the belief that you are absolutely right about everything and everyone who ever disagrees with you is a filthy corporatist.

...But no, none of my exaggerated comments were intended to sound like nuanced portrayals of American society in the colonial era, as I'm not writing a term paper here, I'm making a joke! When Fifthfiend bashes Chrono Cross, he doesn't have to preliminary specify that CC had an incredible soundtrack and great graphics but..., because he's not giving you a thorough review of the game, he's just bashing Chrono Cross.

[Doc ock rokc]

I cant wait to see how they tie the assassins in with the Stone masons.

[MSperoni]

Originally Posted by Locke cole

Powered by lightning conducted from a kite!

I've got other things worked out too!

John Hancock would be the "little guy with the huge weapon" in it (either a sword or a musket or whatever).

Benjamin Rush would be a creepy guy obsessed with blood. Like a vampire.

Hamilton would be the bishie at odds with Jefferson, who would also be a bishie. There would be sexual tension between the two for shipping purposes.

The non-American forces would be the BAD GUYS. No grey lines at all. King George would be like Nobunaga, a devil summoning fiend who tricked the colonists into adopting slavery....actually there may not be slavery. I think we'll just pretend all the Africans are here as "employees" or they never came to the country at all. Any reports to the contrary is part of the Liberal Agenda. *la la la I can't hear you la la la*

I mean, c'mon, someone needs to make my game here.

EDIT: or I need to do a Dreadful spinoff set in the Fantasy Revolution times.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Originally Posted by Solid Snake

Well, in my defense, I'm not a communist and I respectfully disagree with you on many of your historical opinions that are likely informed by your sociopolitical perspectives?

But you see my opinion is backed up by a significant group of professional historians whereas yours is based on conservative mythologies that were made up to advance their own political agendas.

But the early presidents were boss. They are significant players in E Pluribus Murder!

[Locke cole]

Sorry, you say Nobunaga, and my mind wandered to Pokémon.

[Solid Snake]

Matt
Matt you didn't get message
You're not supposed to joke about that
They might seriously think you're suggesting that King George worshiped Satan!!!

Originally Posted by Smarty McBarrelpants

But you see my opinion is backed up by a significant group of professional historians whereas yours is based on Republican mythologies that were made up to advance their own political agendas.

My opinion is also backed up by a significant group of professional historians and not all of them are Republicans!
I mean I'm fairly certain there are in fact Democrats out there who do not in fact kneejerkingly hate everything America is and was and has ever done.
If not, then a lot of Democrats have lied about their opinions of America when running for election!

[Kim]

I'm looking forward to the guy with three bayonets on his gun, all of them several feet long.