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Unread 12-07-2015, 02:27 AM   #1
Seil
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Movies "Young Turtles Of The Ninja Variety" or "What The Balls Did They Do FUCK SHIT WAUGH!"

So the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was this really dark black and white manga that was adapted to this really cool Saturday morning cartoon with four radical dudes.

Then everything went to hell in 2014. What the hell did I just watch? Splinter and the turtles were April's childhood pets? Someone flushed a ninja training manual in the sewers? Splinter knew how to read? Someone flushed battle ready katanas and sais and nun-chucks? The Shredder is a mecha? Megan Fox's ass?

Okay, that last one was pretty great.

Apart from the plot of the movie being full of holes, the plot of the movie was awful. It was all bad. It hit me right in the childhood.


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Unread 12-07-2015, 10:55 AM   #2
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I didn't really grow up with it, so meh.


But I do love both those youtube series
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Unread 12-10-2015, 10:55 AM   #3
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Oh look, they are making another one.
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Unread 01-01-2016, 10:23 PM   #4
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Oh look, they are making another one.
That second one looks perfect, though.
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Unread 01-04-2016, 12:03 AM   #5
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Movies Seriously?

Okay... look. I grew up with the cartoon, collected all the toys, and watched all three of the original films. I watched the animated Turtles Forever film, and would have followed every series, if I'd had a tv.

This was about on par with the original film in skill and and technical proficiency. Meagan Fox was lame, but the backstory was tightly written.

It definitely has its flaws, but... and I'm just going to be honest here... so did the originals.

The '89 cartoon was full of 4th-wall breaking, wise-cracking goofballs, with little difference between Raph and Mikey, save that Raph wasn't slightly dumb.

The movie had Raph be a super-Emo angry loner who couldn't stand taking orders (and we were supposed to sympathize with him), until he learned his lesson. Otherwise, Mike and Donney were nearly indistinguishable.

Neither of these had anything resembling the original comics (which were... dark, to say the least).

Do the turtles look weird? Yeah. They always did. These are just the latest version, and... it's not that bad. Bay was still a jerk, and his mishandling of the Transformers leaves me generally unimpressed. This one was... okay. About on par with the other ones.
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Unread 01-04-2016, 02:04 PM   #6
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Funny thing, since that Honest Trailer admitted to TMNT The Secret of the Ooze being bad as well
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Unread 01-04-2016, 06:44 PM   #7
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Default The new movie designs are fuck-awful though. Can't even compare to the Henson suits.

The thing for me is, the old live action movies are protected by a thick nostalgia barrier. So even if the old ones are comparably terrible (well, 2 and 3 anyway; I contend that the first movie still holds up), they remain watchable for me. The new one has no such protection, thus I refuse to submit myself to it. Doubt I'll give the upcoming sequel a chance either, unless the reviews are somehow stellar.

Plus I don't even see the need, since the current CG Nickelodeon cartoon is by far the best iteration of the franchise to come along. Come on, they even got David Tennant to play the Fugitoid!
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Unread 01-05-2016, 01:19 AM   #8
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They didn't have Mecha-Shredder.
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Unread 01-05-2016, 07:53 AM   #9
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Movies I'm probably - well, no, I'm definitely - just weird, though.

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Originally Posted by Bum Bill Bee View Post
Funny thing, since that Honest Trailer admitted to TMNT The Secret of the Ooze being bad as well
That's the thing: I wouldn't call either of the first two "bad" (the third one, I'll grant, despite loving parts of it) - and, goofy as it was, the ninja rap was far less offensive than most people pretend. Certainly not goofier than anything else in those two films.

(Also: "there is no secret" is a pretty lousy "secret of the ooze" - I gotta admit. That said, cinema sins, though great, thrives on reviewing things poorly. Funny, though!)

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The thing for me is, the old live action movies are protected by a thick nostalgia barrier. So even if the old ones are comparably terrible (well, 2 and 3 anyway; I contend that the first movie still holds up), they remain watchable for me. The new one has no such protection, thus I refuse to submit myself to it. Doubt I'll give the upcoming sequel a chance either, unless the reviews are somehow stellar.
The first is fair: most of us were pretty young. But I own those films. I watch them (rarely these days, but still). Hence, I either have to voluntarily look past the pretty obvious stuff, or become cynical. I like giving things a chance. But if I'm "fair" (as much as possible), I've also got to give new things an equal shake.

(Hence my less-than-popular opinions on the various Superman films.)

But, to be honest, Ms. Fox's (literal, not figurative) mouth breathing and a single needless explosion at the very end aside, I enjoyed the film. There are lots of complaints that could be launched, but most of those would have to be directed at the things I love, if I'm fair and... frankly, it pulls on a cynical side that would start poking holes in everything, no matter how awesome. 'Cause no film is perfect.

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Plus I don't even see the need, since the current CG Nickelodeon cartoon is by far the best iteration of the franchise to come along. Come on, they even got David Tennant to play the Fugitoid!
That's awesome! ... now if I only had tv. Oh, well. I'll catch it on the somewhere!

---------- Post added at 07:53 AM ---------- Previous post was at 07:49 AM ----------

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They didn't have Mecha-Shredder.
Is this considered a good thing, or bad?

(Also, if you've seen the films, compare "mecha-Shredder" to "Super Shredder"... you'll likely find the new one a more solid addition. Heck, he even did more than the original. I wish the bad guy had been better, though... but that again goes just as strongly for the originals.)
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Unread 01-08-2016, 02:15 PM   #10
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Do the turtles look weird? Yeah. They always did. These are just the latest version, and... it's not that bad.
It's the weird noses on Michelangelo and Raphael. Just look at Leonard and Donatello--they look perfectly fine. It's the other two that look like crimes against nature.
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