Dear Cis People

[Kim]

Don't let this be you.



Any time you think its the right time for you to have a conversation about a trans person's genitals, regardless of whether that trans person is real or fictional, put a quarter in the "I Was Raised In A Barn By Particularly Rude Cows" jar. Thank you.

[rpgdemon]

I'd just like to get the obligatory, "YOU SAID ANY TIME, BUT HERE'S A CASE WHERE THAT DOESN'T APPLY, LIKE IF THEY WANTED TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT" out of the way so that people can focus on the actual message here, instead of trying to nitpick and argue semantics.


These Q&A posts written by a member of Magic the Gathering's creative team pretty much hit all the pertinent points I'd want to hit about on prying into someone else's personal business, on both sides of it.

Part 1: http://dougbeyermtg.tumblr.com/post/...ne-pointed-out

Part 2: http://dougbeyermtg.tumblr.com/post/...ashioks-gender

[Raem]

lol this forum

[Fenris]

Originally Posted by Raem

lol this forum

[Overcast]

Eh no need to censor it out, that'd be me. Let my interim lust over dicks in cute outfits get the better of me since we were in the general topic of ridiculous fanservice choices. Sexual urges aside, I do wish you'd chosen to stick around and give something definitive instead of storming away. I know this forum has not made itself a great place to have an educational conversation on a matter, but I'd have appreciated the attempt.

[Kim]

Originally Posted by Overcast

Eh no need to censor it out, that'd be me. Let my interim lust over dicks in cute outfits get the better of me since we were in the general topic of ridiculous fanservice choices. Sexual urges aside, I do wish you'd chosen to stick around and give something definitive instead of storming away. I know this forum has not made itself a great place to have an educational conversation on a matter, but I'd have appreciated the attempt.

I don't like having to educate people every time they say something gross and ignorant.

What you did was fetishize a trans woman character because of her genitals. Or rather, because of the genitals you wanted her to have. This basically puts you on the same level as the rude creeps I had to deal with working as a camgirl.

I and many other trans women refer to guys like that as chasers. And chasers dehumanize us in their fetishization of our bodies.

Apart from the fact that it's especially fucked up to fetishize us based on whether or not we have dicks, it's also really upsetting to know that our sexual value to others is so heavily on reliant on whether or not we still have a part of our body many of us want removed.

Whether I'll still be able to make money selling photosets after I have genital surgery (Which I won't even be able to afford for years) is a genuine worry I have to deal with. I'm not the only one either.

And it's not just in the realm of us being reduced to sexual commodities either that we're judged based on our genitalia. Cis people who think it's perfectly acceptable to just ask any trans person they meet if we've had "the surgery" or if we're going to have "the surgery" and if not acting like we're less of a woman for that. Cis people who keep us from having our gender recognized unless we've had genital surgery, assuming they'll recognize our gender ever.

Or how about the fact that I have literally told people in the past, one of them involved in the conversation I shared in this thread, that Poison's genitals don't matter, and I was told that "Yes they do!" Because apparently cis people can't wrap their damned heads around the fact that maybe a trans woman knows more about the trans experience than they do and regardless maybe it's really fucking rude to keep talking about a trans character's genitals when it is clearly upsetting the only trans person present.

I mean, of all places I'd like to be able to talk about Poison here without some fuck bringing up her genitals or being like "You know she's really a guy right", things inescapable pretty much EVERYWHERE ELSE any time the subject of Poison comes up, but I guess I literally can't expect to have any safe haven from cis people being fucking obsessed with the genitals of trans people.

And like no I don't like having to explain this every time because it's exhausting and because I don't get listened to and because I shouldn't have to explain this shit in the first place. "Don't be fucking weird about a trans person's genitals" should be pretty basic behavior that you don't need someone to explain to you.

[rpgdemon]

Even if you have no experience with trans people, "Don't be fucking weird about a person's genitals" shouldn't really need to be said ever.

Like, it is really not your business to decide if you like or dislike someone's genitals. You're also being a creep who says something like, "Man, I am fantasizing about your genitals being different because I don't really care about you outside of your sexual appeal to me." There are many related statements you can make, that have nothing to do directly with genitals, and they are all no good. Don't fantasize about someone's personal and/or private business, and especially don't fantasize about changing their personal and/or private business.

There's this really weird creepy thing that a lot of people do, where they feel like because they're sexually-responsible/mature adults who are comfortable with sex, they have license to fetishize everything and talk openly about it. They feel like it's just prudish behavior or something not to do so, and they're enlightened and mature? Whatever the logic, it's just straight up not a cool thing to do, because discomfort from it has nothing to do with being a prude, and everything to do with what you're actually doing and saying about other people.

[shiney]

The forum title bullshit mountain has never been more apt.

[rpgdemon]

Originally Posted by Raem

lol this forum

Originally Posted by Fenris

Originally Posted by shiney

The forum title bullshit mountain has never been more apt.

So, like, what the actual fuck.

Are you people seriously saying that you'd rather be allowed to fetishize transgender peeps without reproach than have her Kim here as a friend and comfortable in this forum?

Fucking hell you are all being incredibly terrible, and since the mod staff doesn't seem to give a shit I'm just going to call you out on it.

[Kim]

I legit have no idea what you're trying to convey by your posts Shiney and Fenris and I'd like some clarification and what you're intending to contribute by your behavior.