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Unread 02-01-2012, 08:36 AM   #1
Solid Snake
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WTF OH GOD BIOWARE WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE

So first Bioware was all like "We're going to have less playable characters in Mass Effect 3 than we did in Mass Effect 2, we can't bring back most of the characters you loved in any halfway decent capacity because we have to make this artificial deadline in 2012. Yeah we could totally spend an extra six months or one year making this game perfect and an ideal blockbuster ending to the trilogy but fuck that shit we want your money."

And I was like, "Okay, okay, I'll live."

Then they were like, "We're going to trump up how Mass Effect 3 is all about the shooting mechanics and we're not going to talk about the story!"

And I was like, "Fuck that shit Bioware, I play Mass Effect for its goddamn story, you get the story back in your game."

And then Bioware was all like "Here's a leaked script of the story! Oops!"

And I was all like "Oh God please tell me you're joking and you deliberately leaked some shitty fake version of the script so everyone would lower their expectations and be blown away by how comparably awesome the game actually is."

(No, I'm not going to spoil anything for you, except to say that I was personally disappointed.)

And then Bioware was like "Hey do you remember Mordin and how he totally had like, the best voice actor in the entire series? Well, we're totally not bringing him back, despite the fact that he wants to come back, because we're skimping out on money, despite the fact that we totally should respect the integrity of this amazing series enough to bring everyone back."

And I was like "Fffuuuuccccckkk..."

And then Bioware...

...And then they...

...they...

And then Bioware did THIS.


WHY, BIOWARE





WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY
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Unread 02-01-2012, 09:37 AM   #2
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This's looking like a serious award bait game. I hope someone gives it an award for "Most Gratuitous Insert of a Celebrity in a Game". I mean they could have used her name, her likeness OR her voice, but put it all together and you get the most blatant attempt at creating a big budget masturbation aid game since Tia Carrera in The Daedalus Encounter.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:07 AM   #3
CABAL49
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I am going to be honest. I had no idea who Jessica Chobot was, so I assumed she was a porn star. That made this even more disappointing. I mean, she has the porn star look and name.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:09 AM   #4
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That would all sound more terrible if I had gotten a chance to play the first two.

Any clue when they are going to port Mass Effect 1 to the PS3 or should I just go ahead and play 2 and pretend I know what is going on?
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:11 AM   #5
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:17 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magus View Post
That would all sound more terrible if I had gotten a chance to play the first two.

Any clue when they are going to port Mass Effect 1 to the PS3 or should I just go ahead and play 2 and pretend I know what is going on?
It's not that hard, Mass Effect is pretty much the lightest WRPG there. Ancient evil has awaken and something bad happened to one of your companions pretty much sums the first one. You'll miss Wrex but that's it.

So, what's the matter with having some subcelebrities on the game? Is it because it's a pretty lady? Because we already had Martin Sheen on the second one, he just wasn't romanceable.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:24 AM   #7
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Default Still going to buy and play the shit out of this. AND SO ARE YOU, SNAAAAAKE.

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Originally Posted by MuMu View Post
^It's not that hard, Mass Effect is pretty much the lightest WRPG there. Ancient evil has awaken and something bad happened to one of your companions pretty much sums the first one. You'll miss Wrex but that's it.
Soooooo, yes, buy and play the first two.

Quote:
Because we already had Martin Sheen on the second one, he just wasn't romanceable.
HE TOTALLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN, THOUGH.

Quote:
This's looking like a serious award bait game. I hope someone gives it an award for "Most Gratuitous Insert of a Celebrity in a Game". I mean they could have used her name, her likeness OR her voice, but put it all together and you get the most blatant attempt at creating a big budget masturbation aid game since Tia Carrera in The Daedalus Encounter.
They're not using her name (the character's name is Diana Allers), although it's a bit confusing in the picture.

I dunno, I don't find this particularly more troublesome than the last game, where Miranda was basically Yvonne Strahovski with black hair.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:26 AM   #8
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I assumed Snake's main issue with this isn't that they are bringing in some G4 chick so people can virtually bang her, but that they are using money to pay for her appearance that could have gone to paying people to bring back Mordin.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:32 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by IHateMakingNames View Post
I assumed Snake's main issue with this isn't that they are bringing in some G4 chick so people can virtually bang her, but that they are using money to pay for her appearance that could have gone to paying people to bring back Mordin.
The only source I can find on that is a random guy who supposedly emailed Mordin's voice actor.

Bioware has said nothing about it, the supposed "replacement" has confirmed that he was only doing temporary work, and several of the voice actors that worked on ME2 said they weren't contacted until fairly late in the development process.

Soooooooo.
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Unread 02-01-2012, 10:38 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Bookworm View Post
I dunno, I don't find this particularly more troublesome than the last game, where Miranda was basically Yvonne Strahovski with black hair.
Well see the difference is I didn't know that.

(Note also that I have no idea who either of these two ladies are.)
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