Peer pressure and conformity - Page 4

Fifthfiend · 04-13-2006, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Archbio

"Syntax is there no thing such as."

Odd what's mangling actually the despite, is understandable deliberate statement language the that of totally is.

Abeni · 04-13-2006, 08:29 AM

red_mage, I think you are an awesome person.

I really do know how you feel, for as long as I can remember I have been shunned and degraded in public and lost friends because I don't go with what's "normal" or "popular". I guess some people say I'm a tomboy because I dress comfortably, but I'm not because I still like to do some girl things. Some people say I'm ugly or a lesbian because I don't like to wear makeup because I don't want my face to feel like clay. Some of my friends aren't my friends anymore because of my hobbies. I like names, I like knowing what names mean and where they came from. I'm 17 years old and I like to read childrens books. Don't get me wrong, I read everything, but childrens books have a freedom to them that I can't seem to find in some adult books. I really like ducks. So people think I'm weird so they proceed to insult me for it.

It's okay if that happens to you as long as you have someone to talk to about it. When I met my boyfriend, it wasn't as bad. I felt like I could deal with all the crap because I knew that he would always love me. That was stupid. The more time I spent with him the less I spent with the friends I had and they really started to grow away from me. When he dumped me, I had like 2 people left who would even talk to me, so I had to start over. It is REALLY hard to deal with all the crap they throw at you when you have almost no one to talk to about it. I have online friends now, like K.Y.M.O. and Gineko, but my social life is probably not going to repair itself until I go to college next year.

Whew, didn't think I'd say that much! :O_o:

adamark · 04-13-2006, 10:06 AM

If you can't tell who is a conformist or non-conformist, how do you know those things actually exist? Or, why are you so sure?

Whale Biologist · 04-13-2006, 10:40 AM

Why are you so dead-set on the belief that there are no conformists in your world? I know for a fact there are conformists. My friends were mad at me for not dressing like them because I was attracting attention to the group (eventually, they got over it). Most of the girls in my high school who were considered 'attractive' had to go out of their way to dress like the other girls (I'm not sure why, it's just one of those things). I was a non-conformist in the sense that OTHERS didn't dictate my look or behavior, but I WAS a conformist in the sense that, regardless, my look and behavior mimicked other people.

If you can't tell who's gay and who isn't, how do you know gay people exist? Why are you so sure?

Mirai Gen · 04-13-2006, 02:07 PM

If I grabbed a pair of black pants, a black shirt, and my usual black leather jacket one day, according to High School Mandate, I am then 'conforming to the goths' and am subject to ridicule, nevermind the fact that, you know, it's a fucking article of clothing, not some sort of gang colors that you just slap on to "just front'n."

Whale Biologist · 04-13-2006, 02:21 PM

Uhm... yup, thats the idea.

Archbio · 04-13-2006, 02:26 PM

Quote:

There is no such thing as conformity and non-conformity.

That is a substantially different statement than:

Quote:

There is no such thing as conformists and non-conformists.

I really don't see how the former statement can be argued seriously. The concepts of "conformity" and "non-conformity" don't imply in themselves any specific importance, interpretation or value to the concepts. But their existence is undeniable. As soon is a convention (be it vestimentary or otherwise), and someone either conforms to it or don't, creating an example of conformity or non-conformity.

As for the latter statement, that's more problematic. Yet, I think it's pretty obvious the concepts has a reality. That reality can be as flexible as the reality of resistant/collaborator in Vichy France, but it's there. Some people attribute to comforming to the most superficial conventions a specific value, and others feel the opposite way. These might be your conformists/non-conformists. It might also be that you can name conformist someone who adheres to conventions more often than not and who tend to let them win over their personal tastes. That would be a sliding scale. That you can't divide a population into two groups, with either side pure conformists and on the other pure non-conformists, doesn't mean that the concepts have no reality.

Less importance and value can be given to the label. As for the fact that no one should be stoned because of their choice of clothes, well, that's rather obvious on its own (same thing goes for "subjecting goths to ridicule", but that's a whole other problem in itself).

adamark · 04-13-2006, 03:19 PM

Archbio you pretty much made sense of it.

Ticeorama · 04-13-2006, 06:45 PM

Red_Mage,

I haven't taken the time to read the rest of what people said so I'm gonna respond only to you. I guess my point is that I don't know how to take what you say. Clearly, you're conflicted on the issue yourself. I think you see some truth in what people say. For the record, you are a freak. Now before you get all pissed at me, track down my IP, and steal my credit card, think about that. You are different. The question is how you deal with it. I don't know what to tell you, sorry. I guess you have 3 choices: 1) accept it for how little its worth 2) Carry a sawed-off shotgun and glare at people if they look at you 3) Kill everyone you see. I'd say that I feel you pain, but I don't. I did believe me. I guess I learned to cope. I think being social in a society that you don't agree with as long as you don't compromise that which makes you who you truly are. I go to a school 85% of the students are assholes. But the more you get to know this conformist jerks, the nicer you find them to be. I don't know man. Sorry I could be more helpful.

Just be happy you're not a fatty, that's a cross I would not wish on anyone.

Esquire · 04-13-2006, 07:12 PM

Red Mage, I hate to break it to you, bud, but that's the way the world is, and you can either mope about it, or do something about it.

I agree with what Ticeorama has to say - you can sit there and mope about it, or you can change it. I will say that I don't know what kind of place has a population that thinks exclusively like the one you describe, but that doesn't change the fact that it's all in how you deal with it.

Change is not a bad thing, and you can change the way you act around people without changing who you are. I am definately an odd character, and there are people out there that I have little in common with, but that doesn't keep me from getting to know them and having a good time. You just have to find out how to pull it off, and the vast majority of the time, it's simply how you carry yourself. That's something you've got to learn on your own.

If you say or do something that people find repulsive, don't just tell yourself, 'oh, it's because I'm different.' You've really got to think about it - it could be your laugh, the way you phrase things, your reaction, your attitude, or your pragmatics - some people just don't realize when they're imposing on someone.

Again, how you deal with it, is up to you - just don't complain, act.

04-13-2006, 08:29 AM	#32
Abeni duckie Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: that place down the street Posts: 61	red_mage, I think you are an awesome person. I really do know how you feel, for as long as I can remember I have been shunned and degraded in public and lost friends because I don't go with what's "normal" or "popular". I guess some people say I'm a tomboy because I dress comfortably, but I'm not because I still like to do some girl things. Some people say I'm ugly or a lesbian because I don't like to wear makeup because I don't want my face to feel like clay. Some of my friends aren't my friends anymore because of my hobbies. I like names, I like knowing what names mean and where they came from. I'm 17 years old and I like to read childrens books. Don't get me wrong, I read everything, but childrens books have a freedom to them that I can't seem to find in some adult books. I really like ducks. So people think I'm weird so they proceed to insult me for it. It's okay if that happens to you as long as you have someone to talk to about it. When I met my boyfriend, it wasn't as bad. I felt like I could deal with all the crap because I knew that he would always love me. That was stupid. The more time I spent with him the less I spent with the friends I had and they really started to grow away from me. When he dumped me, I had like 2 people left who would even talk to me, so I had to start over. It is REALLY hard to deal with all the crap they throw at you when you have almost no one to talk to about it. I have online friends now, like K.Y.M.O. and Gineko, but my social life is probably not going to repair itself until I go to college next year. Whew, didn't think I'd say that much! :O_o: __________________ We asked for her, and behold, we got her. *** "Remember, remember the 5th of November, the gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot." Last edited by Abeni; 04-13-2006 at 08:31 AM.

04-13-2006, 02:07 PM	#35
Mirai Gen We are Geth. Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 14,032	If I grabbed a pair of black pants, a black shirt, and my usual black leather jacket one day, according to High School Mandate, I am then 'conforming to the goths' and am subject to ridicule, nevermind the fact that, you know, it's a fucking article of clothing, not some sort of gang colors that you just slap on to "just front'n." __________________

04-13-2006, 06:45 PM	#39
Ticeorama Troopa Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: No where creepy nor some inside joke Posts: 73	Red_Mage, I haven't taken the time to read the rest of what people said so I'm gonna respond only to you. I guess my point is that I don't know how to take what you say. Clearly, you're conflicted on the issue yourself. I think you see some truth in what people say. For the record, you are a freak. Now before you get all pissed at me, track down my IP, and steal my credit card, think about that. You are different. The question is how you deal with it. I don't know what to tell you, sorry. I guess you have 3 choices: 1) accept it for how little its worth 2) Carry a sawed-off shotgun and glare at people if they look at you 3) Kill everyone you see. I'd say that I feel you pain, but I don't. I did believe me. I guess I learned to cope. I think being social in a society that you don't agree with as long as you don't compromise that which makes you who you truly are. I go to a school 85% of the students are assholes. But the more you get to know this conformist jerks, the nicer you find them to be. I don't know man. Sorry I could be more helpful. Just be happy you're not a fatty, that's a cross I would not wish on anyone. __________________ Ticeorama: High Chef and Culinary/Kitchen Defence (CKD) Expert of the Official NPF Anti-Zombie Survival Army

04-13-2006, 10:40 AM	#34
Whale Biologist Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wibble Posts: 305	Why are you so dead-set on the belief that there are no conformists in your world? I know for a fact there are conformists. My friends were mad at me for not dressing like them because I was attracting attention to the group (eventually, they got over it). Most of the girls in my high school who were considered 'attractive' had to go out of their way to dress like the other girls (I'm not sure why, it's just one of those things). I was a non-conformist in the sense that OTHERS didn't dictate my look or behavior, but I WAS a conformist in the sense that, regardless, my look and behavior mimicked other people. If you can't tell who's gay and who isn't, how do you know gay people exist? Why are you so sure?

04-13-2006, 02:21 PM	#36
Whale Biologist Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wibble Posts: 305	Uhm... yup, thats the idea.

04-13-2006, 07:12 PM	#40
Esquire Suicide is Painless Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 25	Red Mage, I hate to break it to you, bud, but that's the way the world is, and you can either mope about it, or do something about it. I agree with what Ticeorama has to say - you can sit there and mope about it, or you can change it. I will say that I don't know what kind of place has a population that thinks exclusively like the one you describe, but that doesn't change the fact that it's all in how you deal with it. Change is not a bad thing, and you can change the way you act around people without changing who you are. I am definately an odd character, and there are people out there that I have little in common with, but that doesn't keep me from getting to know them and having a good time. You just have to find out how to pull it off, and the vast majority of the time, it's simply how you carry yourself. That's something you've got to learn on your own. If you say or do something that people find repulsive, don't just tell yourself, 'oh, it's because I'm different.' You've really got to think about it - it could be your laugh, the way you phrase things, your reaction, your attitude, or your pragmatics - some people just don't realize when they're imposing on someone. Again, how you deal with it, is up to you - just don't complain, act.