Tell us your favorite game and we'll tell you how shitty it is. - Page 2

bananarama · 01-10-2008, 02:09 AM

Bioshock and Assassin's Creed (should be easy)

Osterbaum · 01-10-2008, 02:13 AM

Grim Fandango.

Give me hell. I mean it.

I'll give KOTOR II something;
Bugs, bugs, bugs and some more bugs. And I don't have to tell you that. Anyone who has played the game knows. You can't trust for everything to go well so you are forced to save at every other turn because of the damn bugs.

The storyline isn't exactly your epic and traditional Star Wars plot. And it's supposed to be a Star Wars -game!

"Can not be equipped by Bao-Dur". That character is just totally useless. As are some other characters. You'd think they could atleast have given them more lines and more stuff to be asked about by the player.

There are a few to start with. And just for the record, I like the game. And I liked it more than KOTOR I.

DFM · 01-10-2008, 02:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Regulus Tera

PORTAL
HALF-LIFE
TEAM FORTRESS 2

And Halo 3.

Portal:

Six hours of jumping puzzles with "witty" commentary. Sign me up.

Half-Life:

Hey guys why don't we make every enemy in this game take a million shots to kill and be completely unresponsive to damage it'll be great.

Team Fortress 2:

Never played it, never intend to.

Halo 3:

I played this back when they called it Marathon and it had a plot and characters and everything. It didn't fill up my quota of derogatory slang screamed by angry ten year olds, though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by POS Industries

I Like Dicks in my Butt: The Game

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moynahand

Katamari Damacy
Shadow of the Colossus
Earthbound
Final Fantasy Tactics

Katamari Damacy:

Obviously I lack the Peggle brainwave because rolling a ball around a field of flowers trying to collect lightning bugs has consistently failed to amuse me.

Shadow of the Colossus:

Agro! Agro you son of a bitch what are you doing?!

Earthbound:

I remember something about a meteorite and a bee and the terminator and then I stopped playing because it was boring as all hell.

Final Fantasy Tactics:

The closest I've come to playing a Final Fantasy game is that one that starts with the green haired girl in a robot suit and I think I played it until I had to fight some kind of turtle before I got bored as all hell.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bananarama

Bioshock and Assassin's Creed (should be easy)

Bioshock:

Let's completely break all the promises we've made about everything with this game and give people a dumbed down mix between System Shock and the original Doom.

Assassins Creed:

Jesus fuck I hope you like hopping around rooftops in Palistine and doing the same three missions over and over again for eternity while the same three models spout the same three lines of dialog and lepers shove you into merchant stalls.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osterbaum

Grim Fandango.

Never played it. Judging from Schaffer's other games I haven't missed anything.

Shin Amakiir · 01-10-2008, 03:04 AM

Oh oh oh!

.hack
And the slightly more known sequel, .hack//G.U.!

POS Industries · 01-10-2008, 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shin Amakiir

Oh oh oh!

.hack
And the slightly more known sequel, .hack//G.U.!

A series of games based on a TV show about a game based on Everquest.

Ow.

Odjn · 01-10-2008, 03:32 AM

Fallout 2.

DFM · 01-10-2008, 03:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Odjn

Fallout 2.

Hey Sulik why don't you go ahead and unload that minigun into my back again while I try and punch this guy in the eyes. I have to punch him because I was keeping all my ammo in my trunk except the trunk fell off my goddamn car. Let me repeat that for you, the trunk fell off my goddamn car because this game is unplayable glitchy as fuck.

Grand Master Kickface · 01-10-2008, 05:09 AM

I was going to say Sonic Adventure 2, but that's way too easy. Let's try Dragon Warrior III.

Professor Smarmiarty · 01-10-2008, 05:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Osterbaum

Grim Fandango.

Give me hell. I mean it.

DFM didn't play it, so I'll step up.

Hmmm, I'm making a game.

I'll start by populating it with skeletons so I can
A) Avoid any facial expressions and real character interaction
B) Fill it with enough spanish cliches that it appears original and avoids any thinking.

Each of the characters will be pretty much stolen right out of Casablanca/ The Big Sleep as was the entire plot which was predictable right from the start.
Then I'll send the main character on non-sensicle tasks only held together by weak jokes and bright animations. Half of your actions are undergone because, well, it'll collect me some apparentely useless items which are bound to have a use later on.
Add in the fact that the game itself only consists of like 60 screens, it's tiny. No real deviation from the main quest either. There is one set order to do everything. Not a very difficult order either. It's like playing a (highly cliche) storybook.
And you can quickly decide what is important because he moves his head towards it so you just skip half of these screens. That and getting Manny to select stuff is terribly finicky. Why can't I use a mouse to select things? Gah.
Then we have the ridiculous item systems. To get an item out you zoom in on his hands and shuffle through them one by one. It's painful, it's slow and it also prevents any way to mix items together, rendering puzzles a lot simpler than they could have been.

And the ending. Let's just say I hit the bad guy in the greenhouse. Terrible signalling there that bullets were not that useful.

You know what the worst thing was.... I had to get a patch to slow my computer down to do the lift puzzle. It is physically impossible without it (I swear it is, by the time you get the forklift started the lift has already reached the end).
Way to make a classic Lucasarts.

Also because I played it recentely:
Super Mario Galaxy was mentioned recentely.
Here is how that game works:
Take some random objects, doesn't matter what, put them in space. Mario runs around these tiny objects to collect bits of a launch star/kill all the enemies to reveal launch star/ hit some switches to reveal launch star, never difficult due to tiny size of planets, proceed to next planet until either find power star or a boss who is simply a larger version of earlier enemies. Occasionally add in objects like rolling balls which are only seen on their own level and to break up monotony. Repeat 120 times.

Oh and as for my game : Wizard of Wor!!! Take your best shot.

Fifthfiend · 01-10-2008, 06:15 AM

Final Fantasy 6.

And just as a curveball:

The Adventures of Willy Beamish.

Quote:

Wizard of Wor!!!

You mean Wizard of Half-Assed Ripoff of Adventure for the Atari 2600?

01-10-2008, 02:13 AM	#12
Osterbaum The revolution will be memed! Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: FIN Posts: 5,967	Grim Fandango. Give me hell. I mean it. I'll give KOTOR II something; Bugs, bugs, bugs and some more bugs. And I don't have to tell you that. Anyone who has played the game knows. You can't trust for everything to go well so you are forced to save at every other turn because of the damn bugs. The storyline isn't exactly your epic and traditional Star Wars plot. And it's supposed to be a Star Wars -game! "Can not be equipped by Bao-Dur". That character is just totally useless. As are some other characters. You'd think they could atleast have given them more lines and more stuff to be asked about by the player. There are a few to start with. And just for the record, I like the game. And I liked it more than KOTOR I. __________________ D is for Dirty Commie!

01-10-2008, 03:04 AM	#14
Shin Amakiir First Axeman of Awesomeland Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: The land of SEVEN potatoes! Posts: 153	Oh oh oh! .hack And the slightly more known sequel, .hack//G.U.! __________________ No, seriously, Nanaimo is Seven Potatoes in Japanese.

01-10-2008, 02:09 AM	#11
bananarama Old Gregg Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 2,189	Bioshock and Assassin's Creed (should be easy)

01-10-2008, 05:09 AM	#18
Grand Master Kickface Uber Tier Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ice Path Posts: 273	I was going to say Sonic Adventure 2, but that's way too easy. Let's try Dragon Warrior III.