NPF Avatars 6 Ch. 4: The trouble with Moogles.

[Thadius]

Thadius, meanwhile, had been hiding in the nearby forest. He didn't do close combat. Although now, it seemed like quite a few things might be necessary. For one, Loyal had suddenly appeared, so the 'plot Loyal's downfall' card was immediately thrust to the front of his mind. However, when he saw the succubus, Thad knew he had the perfect sword for this. He proceeded to draw Ragaznu and stick it in her chest. Don't bother asking how you backstab with a hand-and-a-half sword. He'd only tell you.

"My dear, this is Ragaznu, the sword of demons. It contains all the demons Hell exiled. Ever wonder...how they got in there? Ragaznu, absorb!"

With an unholy scream, the succubus was pulled into the sword, leaving nothing behind. Thadius looked at the party in general, and saw the text above their heads. He then looked over his own head to see the following:

Thaddykins
Lord of Assassin
Level: Over 9000!

"...Well, on one hand, I'm pissed that I'm a creep. It means you lot are allowed to attack me at any point in time. On another hand, I am happy that my level is so high. And on a third hand, my base isn't responding right now. Meaning I'll just have to follow you lot along to wherever this ends up going. Pyros, I expect the next world, wherever that is, to have some form of technology."

[Relm Zephyrous]

Relm looked about after a second more without extreme pain, very confused. Soon though, she discovered that she was in a mass of velvety stuff. Rel rolled around in it, blissfully enjoying herself in the texture without a care in the world, laughing her heart out without any notice of the battle finishing about her. eventually though, she reached a side, and grinned while looking dow and waving at the bunch near the hat trying to figure out how to get Fenris out.

Lets just assume thats what they all were trying to do, at least.

[PyrosNine]

The succubus went down, from a decapitation and then an optic blast, and then in a sad death sequence that was cheaply made and had too many panty/boob shots.

And with that, the party they had fought went down. Though Booma could still be alive, somewhere under Mauve's hat. But we're ignoring her.

The hat did shrink though, as the effects of Fenris's growth came to an end with a sudden server reset. With Fenris and the Archer still inside the hat, of course, and it got very tight in there. Ouchies.

Something very laggy had happened to the world, though beyond the awareness of our heroes, who had grabbed whatever they could salvage off their victims.

"Alright, so we give Faraday the Roc Feather, and Fenris gets the Archergirl as a slave..."

"HEY! Don't I get a say in this?" she begged, tied to a post.

"Welp, so now we're good. As I was saying before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED!" He started kicking the Archeress a few times before he continued.

"We're seeking a new NPF. So, let's find some place to lay our feet down. I saw a town not too far from here, so let's check it out. restock, replenish, and NOT BE INTERRUPTED!" Pyros had started liking the feeling of beating down a wounded opponent, who was helpless at this point and laughing as he did it, but everyone knew it was just a faze he was going through, like his tight leather pants!

"NOw, if we're done her, let's move." He was stopped in his tracks by the still prone, still crying SSB.

Originally Posted by Either Caboose, or SSB!

"Sheila! SHEEEEEEIILAAA! Uh-AHHHHHHHhaha!"

"Damn It SSB! If you'd drop her hand, she'd finally poof and return to the demon world until she's summoned again, perfectly fine! In fact, you're probably pissing her off more by keeping her like that!" Pyros explained, tired of all the constant delays.

"Trust me, I know how Succubi work!"

****
3000 years ago, before the dawn of time!
* * *

"Okay students, now the first thing we're going to learn today, is how to seduce mortals!

"OOh, Ooh! Does this entail more than just showing them our boobs?" A new student enquired.

"Yes Krzztl, as that is a simple method of seduction, used purely by mortal women. The true seduction is an art practiced best only by us demons, and we Succubi and Incubi are followers of an old tradition of seduction!"

"What about...y'know, gods, darlin?" Asheth asked.

"Only if you'll shut up and stop trying to get extra credit for hitting on me! Falling for basic seduction does not make you learn seduction techniques!"

"Awwww....Allright! From now on, I will stop looking at your ass!" Asheth lied. To be fair, as she said this, half of the class behind her was doing the same to her.

"Very good."

"Don't you mean, very evil? As we're chaotic evil?"

"Not in this edition. You lose 5 points, and therefore have to work for the Mistress of Pain for a week!"

"Reallly....? Do you really want to do something like that to meee?"

"Yes. And an extra week for such a terrible seduction spell!"

"Crap!"

* * *

Back to the present:

The gang headed towards the town, bickering all the way, unaware of the pall of silence that seemed to hang over it....

[Arhra]

In momorpeegee land, Arhra I looked up to discover her details.

"Union Jack? What the hell kind of class is Union Jack?" Censorship tried but failed to work on Space Pirate King Arhra.

Space Robot King Arhra meanwhile had been enlarged and started laughing maniacally.

"Nooooooo!" the one who was supposedly a pirate shouted. "Why do I never get to be tall?"

Presumably they were both so distracted it prevented them actually participating in combat.

With the fighting over, Space Pirate King Arhra decided to speak with Pyros.

She went over to him with a happy little smile. "Oh, Pyros, while I think of it, would you mind if I asked you a question? I've grown very tired of this static situation." She rushed on. "There are odd things going on and you are at the center of them. Why is that so?" She looked down reflectively at the large knife she was holding before her, handle held between two splayed fingers and the tip gently resting against the fingertip of her other hand. "You wouldn't mind answering that for me, would you?" she asked nicely.

[Fenris]

Fenris Von Wolfe walked over to his new slave. "GM Command: Item, Pretty Bows!"

And then he put them in Booma's hair. She looked so adorable, all tied up like that with those darling little bows in her hair, makin' it all pretty, yessir it was truly a happy occasion for all parties involved!

Except for Booma but who gives a bleep?

"Alright! We march to the city!" Fenris called, picking up the trunk that Booma was tied to and carrying her over his shoulder, much like he would his knapsack, except on a much larger scale.

[Thadius]

"All right! A town to pillage, shops to loot, people to rob..."

Thaddykins broke off his monologue before anyone else could notice that there was an abundance of evil things in his 'to-do' list.

"Erm...I mean...how far do you think your little quest will take us, Pyros? I've got brownies back home that should be cool by now."

[TDK]

Sitting casually on the end of Fenny's stick, TDK sat along for the ride, tail waving a bit happily.

[Intern Nin]

So, Pyros used to teach seduction classes to succubi. That's... interesting.

Nin walked along with the group, watching most of them argue amongst each other. It occured to Nin that this might be a good opportunity to give a proper introduction to the guy who just minutes ago was trying to strangle him for trying to touch a demon who was trying to kill him. Nothing ever really gets done around here.

"Hey, SSB! We were never really introduced right? My name's Nin."

[PyrosNine]

"Would an Archeress be a decent enough bribe?" He both asked and pondered, before pulling out a chair and tableset with wheels and tying it to Big Mac (who had said Pyros had control over his character while he was gone) who provided locomotion.

"Here, sit and we'll talk this over while we walk."

Pyros sat down across from Arhra and started to explain. "Oh, NPF went kablooie. And Now I'm trying to find a new NPF. Also, I may be enforcing my will upon the universe to do so. And Apparently the universe doesn't like this. But as you know, I don't give a shit, and am giving the universe the finger. I have written over and stolen the forumites from another dimension and am using them for this gambit. I have also forewritten a Pokemon themed world a few areas after this, and I don't think they'll forgive me, and made terrible puns!" he explained with a whisper.

"I also apparently have a kid with Mauve, but I think she's trying to dodge child support payments. She might be, y'know, my fault. And her power...might be proportional to how much I fuck up the universe. Other than that, I don't know. I'm driving blind. We could be soon fighting horrors beyond time and space with water guns up ahead in a backyard in Toronto for all I know."

"So...you don't have a problem with any of this and don't want to hurt me with that knife, right?" Asheth asked, laying on everything she learned 3000 years ago.

[Relm Zephyrous]

And about as soon as she had waved, she fell a good deal Though she was far enough up so that it didn't hurt her at all once she finally hit the ground. "Wow, that didn't hurt. Funny, and healthy." She muttered under her breath while listening, following, and eyeing Mauve strangely, as if trying to figure something out. Though secretly listening in on Pyros, because this was incredibly interesting to her. It also made her gaze on Mauve slightly happier and more delighted.