Calvinball XXVII: Mostly harmful - Page 7

Arhra · 01-01-2005, 08:13 AM

Arhra sighs, "Bleck, that's enough of this. Perhaps I shall reveal to you the true glory of Chaos." With improbability on his side he casts an ancient and terrible spell of transformation as the seagulls that had appeared before swirl around him in avian chaos. Their tiny seagull minds are being influenced by the casting and they are unwittingly following the ritual's pattern. Arhra weaves a spell to keep himself apart from the ritual's effect and mana is thick in the air around him.

With a final stabbing motion he completes his ritual and the birds stream outwards going back to whatever they were doing. A nigh invisble ripple spreads out from him and all creatures it touches are... changed... The seagulls seem to be virtually unaffected, Link turns into a rabbit and Kirby remains exactly the same. The effects on the Calvinballers are far more obvious. Arhra's spell is a an old and bizarre magic which changes living creatures so that their form reflects what they are like on the inside. This is just a distraction though, as Arhra quietly uses this to begin fashioning a spell of subversion.

OOC: I felt like knocking up the craziness a notch.

Bailey · 01-01-2005, 07:36 PM

Newb began to look more and more like a walking oak tree crossd with a large dog, such as a German Shepherd.

"Um, gotta think fast... Aha! I have spare batteries in my pocket!"

Newb quickly changed the batteries and used his power to remove the moon pearl from his gameboy ts. Meanwhile link was looking for his mirror, so he could go get one for himself.

Once Newb had the moon pearl, he changed back to himself.

"Wait, I actually felt pretty strong like that. Who wants the moon pearl? Also, does anybody here know which way to the triforce? Arhra seems to be turning himself into Ganondorf, and while the mirror would get us away, the triforce would stop him."

OOC: curse you overfast reflexes! you have once again stopped the backfire of another persons attack!

Jadarendir · 01-02-2005, 01:04 AM

Jada's form quickly changes into something so horrible that none around him can comprehend it, but at the same time something so beautiful they cannot help but look. On sight, the only image to reach their eyes is a great darkness, that drives their gaze away, but once they look away they feel compelled to look again, for their memory shows them the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen instead of the terrible horror that was there.

Many a Calvinballer were either driven insane or worse by this.

Mad Jack the Pirate · 01-02-2005, 01:15 AM

"Very Clever, Arhra," said jack, "but you're forgetting one thing. you think thqat improbability is chaos. this is not true! chaos is things, objects, and matter doing things both expected and unexpected, whereas improbability is only doing unexpected things! therefore, while Chaos follows no guidelines, Improbability follows a very vague notion of order - BUT A NOTION OF ORDER NONETHELESS! therefore, you do not gain any power boosts and that piece of arcane magic you are about to enact will not work!"

now, this is where the confusing-yet-infinitely-orderly-in-a-sense nature of improbability takes effect. everyone except arhra expected his spell to fizzle out. Arhra, on the other hand, expected it to work because he thought MJTSC'
s arguement bullshit. therefore, the field caused the entirely unexpected third option and turned arhra's mana into chickens. somehow. which caused arhra to be buried under a mountain of fowl, and lose concentration on the spell anyway.

at this time, the shockwave hit MJTSC and turned him into a mirror, as MJTSC is nothing on the inside but a mirror.

Arhra · 01-02-2005, 05:11 AM

Arhra actually laughs at Mad Jack's reasoning, "Your words are meaningless to me," He gestures around him, "Improbability is not Chaos, but what do you think the direct result of probability is?" Arhra's amusement only deepens when his ritual spell turns Mad Jack into a mirror. The momentary disruption in the mana-flow is neglible in impact and rather than bury him, the chickens improbably flutter a short distance and begin calculating the exact value of pi. Arhra's got Infinite Improbability on his side after all. He continues speaking to everyone, "And of course, expectation is only marginally related to the improbability of an event." He turns and glances at Jada, "As for you, I have stared into the very heart of Chaos itself. Virtually nothing phases me." All the while he continues at his second spell.

Bailey · 01-02-2005, 09:21 AM

"Hey Jada, you might want this"

Newb tosses the moon pearl to Jada, and as he begins to look like an ent crossed with a werewolf once more, he lunges at Arhra, quickly entangling him with vines. Arhra was expecting this, but Newb was expecting him to expect it, so a large rip appears, threatening to suck both of them away, thus simplifiying the equation. Normal space temporarily reasserted, Newb is able to do the expected, burrow his roots into the ground while Arhra is sucked away to another dimension.

"you know, we should get out of here too, he's going to be back soon, and normal space will soon subsie, allowing improbability to come back. Unless..."

Newb opened up his gbts and inserted the tv chip, then quickly found the monkathon. Once he had done this, he summoned Adrian Monk.

"he should be able to collapse the improbability field. In such high improbability levels, whether one expects it or not, he has powers that complement his ocd, and he should soon make this permanently normal space. or we could all just use the magic mirror and get out of here so that when arhra gets back he ends up fighting someone with ocd, a definite advantage in that battle, and then try to figure out where we are. After all, ocd is definitely a law trait."

Mad Jack the Pirate · 01-02-2005, 12:42 PM

unfortunately for Arhra, he passes in front of MJTM, revealing he is not an ordinaqry mirror!

instantly, flying out of the mirror and tackling arhra, is . . . himself, apparently!

yes, it is revealed that MJTM is not a normal everyday vanity mirror, but one of those freaky mirrors that releases copies of you with all your powers that want to kill you whenever you look in them!

StabbityMage · 01-02-2005, 06:55 PM

KAZZAT!
KA-BLAM!

A black hole appeared and spat out an object that is so dense, it actually uses the Paint program on the PC; so stupid, it downloads demo games; yet so powerful that it actually thwarted a black black hole & appeared in a Calvinball game: StabbityMage!

Yet, he looked different.

He wore a long, brown trenchcoat that blew behind him in the wind; a fedora that half-covered his glowing, red eyes; 2 holsters buckled onto the BACK of his gray cord pants that carried twin machine guns; his white-gloved hands glowing yellow with pure energy.

And then, he spoke in a commanding voice, a voice that made the mountains tremble & made the rulers of heaven & hell reach for the nearest plush toy, dive under their beds and start sucking their thumbs:

"Now...what the hell was I supposed to do again?"

He set off in search of the Calvinball.

Toastburner B · 01-03-2005, 01:51 PM

Meanwhile, with all the choas and madness and randomness going on, valiant Toastburner continued to walk around in circles, still unable to get a grip on this entire random-field thing.

So, it was with great surprise, that when he tried to look up to curse the heavens, he found himself looking down, and he noticed that in his hand...was the calvinball.

"How the freak did that happen?!" Toastburner said. "No matter. I had best use this to my advantage. While everyone else is fighting, I'll sneak away and claim victory!"

Of course, this meant he tried to sneak away. Which meant Toastburner found himself charging into the middle of the battle, yelling "Hey guys! I got the calvinball so you'd better beat me up if you want to win!" at the top of his lungs.

Dagnabit. Toastburner thought.

StabbityMage · 01-03-2005, 09:38 PM

SM looked around him as he walked along on an invisible platform.

"Wait a second...I don't seem to feel anything supporting my feet. Weeaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lllllllllllllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk kk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!"

He fell.

And as he fell, he thought: "I left the oven on!"

And down he went, straight into a vat of butterscotch pudding, which pulled out a knife & stabbed our benevolent communisim-loving hero in the chest, ripped out his heart & ate it in order to keep the sun god alive. Just like the Aztecs!

"You...b******! Don't you know I have no heart?"

With that, he pulled out a grenade launcher from nothingness & obliterated the butterscotch pudding. The words "GODLIKE" appeared on-screen.

01-01-2005, 08:13 AM	#61
Arhra Ara ara! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Neo Venezia Posts: 5,013	Arhra sighs, "Bleck, that's enough of this. Perhaps I shall reveal to you the true glory of Chaos." With improbability on his side he casts an ancient and terrible spell of transformation as the seagulls that had appeared before swirl around him in avian chaos. Their tiny seagull minds are being influenced by the casting and they are unwittingly following the ritual's pattern. Arhra weaves a spell to keep himself apart from the ritual's effect and mana is thick in the air around him. With a final stabbing motion he completes his ritual and the birds stream outwards going back to whatever they were doing. A nigh invisble ripple spreads out from him and all creatures it touches are... changed... The seagulls seem to be virtually unaffected, Link turns into a rabbit and Kirby remains exactly the same. The effects on the Calvinballers are far more obvious. Arhra's spell is a an old and bizarre magic which changes living creatures so that their form reflects what they are like on the inside. This is just a distraction though, as Arhra quietly uses this to begin fashioning a spell of subversion. OOC: I felt like knocking up the craziness a notch. __________________ This post is a good source of Ara ara, ufufu.* *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

01-02-2005, 01:04 AM	#63
Jadarendir King of No Pants Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Wherever good times are had. Posts: 552	Jada's form quickly changes into something so horrible that none around him can comprehend it, but at the same time something so beautiful they cannot help but look. On sight, the only image to reach their eyes is a great darkness, that drives their gaze away, but once they look away they feel compelled to look again, for their memory shows them the most beautiful thing they'd ever seen instead of the terrible horror that was there. Many a Calvinballer were either driven insane or worse by this. __________________ Demangiel Jadarendir Damned My creations. Jadarendir's Song! Yeee! My/SAAM's song for CheshireThief! Jadarendir's Drum Solo! God Bless TD.

01-02-2005, 05:11 AM	#65
Arhra Ara ara! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Neo Venezia Posts: 5,013	Arhra actually laughs at Mad Jack's reasoning, "Your words are meaningless to me," He gestures around him, "Improbability is not Chaos, but what do you think the direct result of probability is?" Arhra's amusement only deepens when his ritual spell turns Mad Jack into a mirror. The momentary disruption in the mana-flow is neglible in impact and rather than bury him, the chickens improbably flutter a short distance and begin calculating the exact value of pi. Arhra's got Infinite Improbability on his side after all. He continues speaking to everyone, "And of course, expectation is only marginally related to the improbability of an event." He turns and glances at Jada, "As for you, I have stared into the very heart of Chaos itself. Virtually nothing phases me." All the while he continues at his second spell. __________________ This post is a good source of Ara ara, ufufu.* *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

01-02-2005, 06:55 PM	#68
StabbityMage Ex-Calvinballer Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The state of Denial Posts: 137	Return of the Stupidity KAZZAT! KA-BLAM! A black hole appeared and spat out an object that is so dense, it actually uses the Paint program on the PC; so stupid, it downloads demo games; yet so powerful that it actually thwarted a black black hole & appeared in a Calvinball game: StabbityMage! Yet, he looked different. He wore a long, brown trenchcoat that blew behind him in the wind; a fedora that half-covered his glowing, red eyes; 2 holsters buckled onto the BACK of his gray cord pants that carried twin machine guns; his white-gloved hands glowing yellow with pure energy. And then, he spoke in a commanding voice, a voice that made the mountains tremble & made the rulers of heaven & hell reach for the nearest plush toy, dive under their beds and start sucking their thumbs: "Now...what the hell was I supposed to do again?" He set off in search of the Calvinball. __________________ GO CALVINBALL!

01-03-2005, 01:51 PM	#69
Toastburner B Toasty has left the building Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Hiding...because I don't want to die. Posts: 3,936	Meanwhile, with all the choas and madness and randomness going on, valiant Toastburner continued to walk around in circles, still unable to get a grip on this entire random-field thing. So, it was with great surprise, that when he tried to look up to curse the heavens, he found himself looking down, and he noticed that in his hand...was the calvinball. "How the freak did that happen?!" Toastburner said. "No matter. I had best use this to my advantage. While everyone else is fighting, I'll sneak away and claim victory!" Of course, this meant he tried to sneak away. Which meant Toastburner found himself charging into the middle of the battle, yelling "Hey guys! I got the calvinball so you'd better beat me up if you want to win!" at the top of his lungs. Dagnabit. Toastburner thought. __________________ I came, I saw, I got team-killed. A lot.

01-02-2005, 01:15 AM	#64
Mad Jack the Pirate Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 525	"Very Clever, Arhra," said jack, "but you're forgetting one thing. you think thqat improbability is chaos. this is not true! chaos is things, objects, and matter doing things both expected and unexpected, whereas improbability is only doing unexpected things! therefore, while Chaos follows no guidelines, Improbability follows a very vague notion of order - BUT A NOTION OF ORDER NONETHELESS! therefore, you do not gain any power boosts and that piece of arcane magic you are about to enact will not work!" now, this is where the confusing-yet-infinitely-orderly-in-a-sense nature of improbability takes effect. everyone except arhra expected his spell to fizzle out. Arhra, on the other hand, expected it to work because he thought MJTSC' s arguement bullshit. therefore, the field caused the entirely unexpected third option and turned arhra's mana into chickens. somehow. which caused arhra to be buried under a mountain of fowl, and lose concentration on the spell anyway. at this time, the shockwave hit MJTSC and turned him into a mirror, as MJTSC is nothing on the inside but a mirror.

01-02-2005, 12:42 PM	#67
Mad Jack the Pirate Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 525	unfortunately for Arhra, he passes in front of MJTM, revealing he is not an ordinaqry mirror! instantly, flying out of the mirror and tackling arhra, is . . . himself, apparently! yes, it is revealed that MJTM is not a normal everyday vanity mirror, but one of those freaky mirrors that releases copies of you with all your powers that want to kill you whenever you look in them!

01-03-2005, 09:38 PM	#70
StabbityMage Ex-Calvinballer Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: The state of Denial Posts: 137	Karmic problems SM looked around him as he walked along on an invisible platform. "Wait a second...I don't seem to feel anything supporting my feet. Weeaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh lllllllllllllllllllllllbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkk kk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!" He fell. And as he fell, he thought: "I left the oven on!" And down he went, straight into a vat of butterscotch pudding, which pulled out a knife & stabbed our benevolent communisim-loving hero in the chest, ripped out his heart & ate it in order to keep the sun god alive. Just like the Aztecs! "You...b******! Don't you know I have no heart?" With that, he pulled out a grenade launcher from nothingness & obliterated the butterscotch pudding. The words "GODLIKE" appeared on-screen. __________________ GO CALVINBALL!