Let's Play Dwarf Fortress - Skeletal WHAT?!

[01d55]

Man Gregness' last update was awesome I think we can cut the guy some slack and not try and grab this thing out of his hands because he can't churn them out like this thread is a twitter feed.

[Geminex]

WE DEMAND CHURNITUDE!

Though admittedly, having seen Sibrek in action is worth the wait now. I do hope we see her again.

[Wigmund]

I'm not worried as long as we can at least get regular weekend updates. I would be posting at Gregness' speed if I was doing my overseeing right now (damn you college and your expectations that I study and learn stuff instead of playing games!).

[mauve]

Hey, it's midterm season. We understand. As long as it updates eventually, I'm cool with it.

Aaand as long as Queen Mauve's throne room gets ridiculously more elaborate at some point. XD

[Flarecobra]

It is?

*Checks my calender*

[Gregness]

It's too quiet.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_status.jpg

It's been a whole week since Sibrek routed the goblins who killed our man outside the fort. I still don't know what he was to her that his death drove her to such rage. A lover, perhaps? Sibrek won't speak to the rest of us about it.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/2_MeetTheBadass.jpg

As for the remaining siege-gang, the only group with archers is on the wrong side of the river from our gate:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_Trapped.jpg

We found another small team of goblins around the back of the base:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_sneakyGobbos.jpg

I... honestly don't know what the fuck the six of them think they're going to get done there. They can't scale the wall, they can't knock it over, and there's no fortress accesses from that side, they're on the wrong side of the river for the gate, and they're even farther from it than the other group who can't do anything.

That just leaves this group:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_targets.jpg

If they die, the rest of this pathetic little war band can amuse themselves on the skeletal goats for all I care. I don't trust that another miracle like Sibrek's will just drop into our laps, so the obvious solution is an overwhelming strike with all our troops to put them down quickly and easily. I'm not losing any more dwarves to mere goblins.

It's funny how my orders always end up being "misheard".

And by "funny" I mean "someone is having their booze privilage fucking revoked".

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_standoffLoyal.jpg
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_standoffMelfice.jpg

Apparantly these two elf-brained lunatics don't like that one of the no-names upstaged them.

Of course, they're not the only madmen in this fort. Somewhere between Sibrek proving that she was more manly than every single one of us and Melfice and Loyal's possibly terminal case of beard envy the rest of these assholes got together and elected a new mayor.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_oddTime.jpg

I'm not sure how or why they decided on Viridis. He hasn't been out of his room for the better part of two weeks.

Meanwhile, Melfice broke the standoff.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_melFirst.jpg

And began to make quick, methodical work of the goblins. In contrast to Sibrek's hewing of limbs, Melfice opted for brutally efficient stabs to vital organs:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_ChestWound.jpg

The goblin had limped away (at the expense of a lot of blood loss) only to meet Loyal. Not content to let the chest wound take its course, Loyal put the goblin into a brutal hold and choked him out. Just as I was struck by the difference between Sibrek's rage and Loyal and Melfice's efficiency, I heard a roar.

"I AM AN ALCOHOL ELEMENTAL! AND I AM FROM THE ELEMENTAL PLANE OF BEER!!"

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_thatsThat.jpg

Every time I try to think about how Melfice managed to drink three bottles of dwarven wine while his hands were occupied with his weapons I just end up hurting my head. Regardless, the conclusion was given after that.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_carnage.jpg

Though, I had no idea goblins could bleed that much.


------------------------------------------


As an aside: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/3_brainDamage.jpg

and yes, he had the before the fight. I'm not saying you should make jokes about Loyal being retarded, I'm just saying there's evidence.

[Geminex]

Ha! Win! There you have it, ladies and gentledwarfs!
Competent soldier+Goblin horde=Super Saiyan Dwarf+Goblin Horde=Much blood, screaming, flying limbs.

We need to try this again.

And it is my personal belief that Loyal has been brain-dead all along and is subsisting purely on alcohol.

[Melfice]

YES!
Melfice went Super Saiyan Dwarf too!

So, now I'm curious. What's the title I got? Melfice Channelmeetings the ...?

[Viridis]

HAHA! All hail Viridis!

[Melfice]

HAHA! All hail Viridis!

I shouldn't be too happy about that.
Apparently you're less of a mayor* and more of a fortress counsellor. A highly depressing job.

* Of course, given the "correct" mandates from you, you can have innocent Dwarves arrested. Must be a perk of the job.

[Viridis]

Pshaw, that's how the old dwarven mayors worked. We're playing straight from the 1984 handbook this time. I say Dwarf-me has delusions of grandeur. Simply because that'll be funny.

Okay, delusions of grandeur or a very 'why me (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheEeyore)?' attitude. Whichever becomes funnier.

[Gregness]

The "why me?" version probably makes more sense given the workload a broker has. On the other hand, you'll have crazy high stats once you're done.

[Viridis]

I'm fine with either version. Whatever you find appropriate and funny.

I say you try and conduct more martial trance experiments. Other than that, no suggestions because I know next to nothing about this game's workings.

[Gregness]

I actually hadn't intended that to be a martial trance experiment at first. I mean, I thought about using Loyal on his own to try it, but I wasn't 100% sure he wouldn't get injured or something on his own if he didn't trance so I decided to just order everyone out and massacre them. Melfice, Loyal, and one other dwarf were the ones who got there first. I ordered the other dwarf back because it's baby Flare's mother.

For those of you who don't know, dwarven military women carry their kids into battle with them, who then have a disturbing tendancy to catch fatal blows for their mothers.

[Loyal]

Well, I'm already a champion. I can just join Bob and that one other nameless dwarf on permanant duty, going out to clear the skeletal wildlife now and then.

Good way to rack up kills.

[Wigmund]

For those of you who don't know, dwarven military women carry their kids into battle with them, who then have a disturbing tendancy to catch fatal blows for their mothers.

I've realized that the easiest way to deal with this is to remove all married females from the military. Yes, it's sexist - but the damned dwarfs love to give birth on the battlefield, Junior gets maced or blocks an arrow, and then the FUN starts in the fort as momma (if she survives) and daddy (especially if both baby and wife die) tantrum.

[mauve]

Haha! Oh man, that battle was awesome. XD Braindead Loyal and Drunken Rampage Melfice make the best team ever.

[Kerensky287]

I'm not sure how or why they decided on Viridis. He hasn't been out of his room for the better part of two weeks.

I'm not sure if I'm ruining the joke by saying this but maybe dwarves just don't like change.

[Loyal]

It supposedly depends on the number of friends a dwarf has. In my current fort the mayor changes every election season, and there's enough free dwarfpower lying around that everybody's making friends and grudges.

[Great Cartoonist]

Just remember that having too many friends is not necessarily a good thing. In Dwarf Fortress. Yes.

Good god, this game is corrupting our real life views of society.

[Flarecobra]

Just so long as Loyal doesn't steal Mauve's clothes again.

But this time Loyal is the right gender.

[PyrosNine]

Just so long as Loyal doesn't steal Mauve's clothes again.

But this time Loyal is the right gender.

Now he can wear King Pyros' stuff, because he's certainly not using it, being presumed dead and all.

[Wigmund]

We've been breaking these goblins sieges like they're nothing now, I wonder when we'll start seeing siege engines (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Troll) and cavalry (http://dwarffortresswiki.net/index.php/Beak_dog) show up.

[OhnoesFlanked]

Depends if our goblins have access to them, we should check legends mode to see if they've ever used them in past wars.

[Thadius]

Hmm. Y'know, I've made a few modifications to my own data since last Gregness updated, which have proven to be both Fun and the reason why we aren't getting War Unicorns popping out by the dozens.

Mayhap if he's around and pokes me I could show 'im what's what and get Workgill's Unicorn Breeding Program off the ground. Granted I would then have to do this for everyone else as well.

Maybe I'll just slowly mod the files for more and more difficulty and pass them on to the newbies with no rhyme or reason, just to see the effects. 'Oh, look, the gobbys are challenging now. Probably shoulda mentioned that.' That could result in so much Fun.

Also: Whatever you do, do not let me design a waterfall feature for the dining room. Whenever I do that, dwarves throw themselves into it. Why do they desecrate my waterfalls so?!

[Wigmund]

I modded the files so most pets and exotic pets can be made into war animals and...
Well, I ended up with this.
7139

Halfway tempted to start an LP using the fort I've just started, my settlers were six women and one man. Haven't finished the first year yet, but I've already had battles with the denizens of an underground pool that was underneath where I planted down.

EDIT: Thadius, go find yourself some orcs ;)

[Thadius]

Hahah no. I'm not that good a DF player yet. I'm just sadistic and I know where the files for these things are, plus I'm knowledgeable enough about modding them to get you all in trouble eventually.

"And lo, when Thadius did find the files he sought, the forums did weep, for it was the start of ThadMod, an unholy blight upon the LP."
-The history of Workgill, volume 9, verse 18.

[Loyal]

Orcs (in Dig Deeper anyway) are a monument to bullshit, a violation of every unwritten law of good design in gaming. I prefer to do without them (and the rest of dig deeper too, for that matter... too much fluff).

@Wigmund: Make War Cats.

[Thadius]

I'm not quite violating the good design of the game, just adding a bit of sense. Heck, did you know that unless I went in and changed the files, Unicorns couldn't even breed? Granted I've cranked mine up to now being baby-producing factories until I get another female, but seriously, WTF? I'm picturing an entire herd of unicorns frolicking along not worrying about pregnancies, and my mind recoils at the thought. They're also freaking eternal, so they've had forever to have kids and nada ever happened without 'divine' intervention.

I also did something similar to the freaking dragons fortresses occasionally have, which would be very...Fun, if we ever had the misfortune to get both a male and female dragon on our map at the same time. Do you even know how rare that is? My only real concern is that it may perma-force us into using ascii graphics, because methinks the tilesets, while pretty, are not equipped for the things I have outlined.

[OhnoesFlanked]

Fuck no war cats. We need to get on this war cow thing. It can only lead to dwarves milking cows while said cows are being decapitated by an axegoblin.

[mauve]

No, no, no, it leads to glowing-eyed hell cattle charging into battle, their horns drenched in the blood of their enemies, their bone-chilling moo striking fear into the hearts of those around them. They fight until death claims them, they graze only on grass that grows upon the graves of slaughtered goblins, and their rage knows no equal. Eating a burger made from war cow meat will throw you into a berserker rage that can last for days.

And... I dunno.... they shoot lasers or something. From their udders. Hence war cows, not war bulls.




I vote for war cows.

[Krylo]

Laser cows? (http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=604)

[Geminex]

No, wait. We need to use them as ammo.

Cow tebuchets.
No, cow catapults.
Cowtapults.

[Loyal]

Only if the operators yell "Cowabunga!" when they fire.

That said, there is precedent for using (dead) livestock as trebuchet ammo.

[mauve]

If we're hurling cows at our enemies, does that mean we can also insult them in outrrrrrrrageous French accents?

[Melfice]

If we're hurling cows at our enemies, does that mean we can also insult them in outrrrrrrrageous French accents?

I hurt anybody who doesn't, so it would be in your interest to do so, yes.

[Geminex]

No, wait. If we do that, the goblins'll build a wooden rabbit to infiltrate out fortress.

[Loyal]

Let them! We can butcher the rabbit for logs!

[Flarecobra]

Food for the Forge?

[Loyal]

For steel making, maybe. Mostly just that we're running out of logs 'inside' the fortress walls and the underground tower cap farming... takes awhile.

[OhnoesFlanked]

Hurling dead cattle? We should be hurling live cattle, to show our wealth and power. They'll know we have enough money to pelt them with 100% Free Range Kobe Beef that's still living.

[Loyal]

I'm pretty sure that by the time it lands nobody will be able to tell the difference.

[OhnoesFlanked]

They'll hear the moos.

[PyrosNine]

You could hurl UNDEAD cows. That way they'd be dead AND moo on arrival.

[Geminex]

But how do we breed undead cows? Do we herd normal cows and then kill them on evil ground? Does that work?

[Viridis]

But how do we breed undead cows?There's something seriously wrong with this setting if zombie animals can reproduce to make more zombies.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

But how do we breed undead cows? Do we herd normal cows and then kill them on evil ground? Does that work?


THAT'S what this game needs! A Necromancer proffesion!

[PyrosNine]

One would think a necromancer profession would make other Dwarves unhappy and lead to copious amounts of fun.

[Wigmund]

From what I understand magic is on the list to be added in a future edition of the game.
Ah, here we go...
Dwarf Fortress Future Development Plans (http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/dev_future.html):
* MAGIC: There are no specific decisions nailed down yet, although we've thought about it a lot. It's probably best to go for a very general system here, as in the first Armok attempt. Then the world generator and entities can decide what they want to use from what's available. Early efforts might be to make dwarven artifacts more interesting and to increase the power and variability of enemy leaders, rather than focusing on traditional spell-casting adventurers.
* CONTROL A WIZARD ENTITY: Not just one of those guys that backs up the team and shoots fireballs, but run something more like a dwarven outpost and construct your own multilevel tower or other such dwelling. This could include adventure style elements where your wizard is engaged in various activities, as well as larger scale army battles and so on. Randomized creatures could also be introduced as you create your minions, and they should be able to breed and expand outward, perhaps becoming a playable race in either adventure or civilization modes.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

One would think a necromancer profession would make other Dwarves unhappy and lead to copious amounts of fun.

My thoughts exactly! Just imagine, Zombie Goblins. Or Zombie Unicorns. Or Zombie Elephants. Or even Zombie Dragons!

No wait, I have it!; Zombie Carp!! Think of the horrors and FUN that would bring.

[Wigmund]

My thoughts exactly! Just imagine, Zombie Goblins. Or Zombie Unicorns. Or Zombie Elephants. Or even Zombie Dragons!

No wait, I have it!; Zombie Carp!! Think of the horrors and FUN that would bring.

I know Zombie Carp and Zombie Elephants exist. We just don't have any at our fort due to Zombie Carp requiring an actual river.

If there were Zombie Carp, the fort would be dead. They'd have crawled out of the river in the first couple of years and devoured us all.

[Flarecobra]

Undead whales.

The horror of it all...

[Geminex]

I wouldn't envision it as magic, actually, more like a profession. Like a dungeon master, only instead of taming live animals, he resurrects dead ones. And then he dies, and all his creations go rogue and you have an army of undead unicorns and war cows in your fortress.

[Wigmund]

Undead whales.

The horror of it all...

Advice for fortresses on the shores of undead seas is to abandon all hope when they crawl out of the surf.
http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs38/f/2008/314/c/8/Dwarf_Fortress_by_homeworld4.jpg

[Loyal]

So, while we're waiting for Gregness again, the LP for Headshoots' successor, Syrupleaf, has been finished (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Syrupleaf/) and made available for noncluttered viewing.

[OhnoesFlanked]

I was reading Syrupleaf, within the first three or four years there's no death on a grand scale.

[Gregness]

So, while we're waiting for Gregness again, the LP for Headshoots' successor, Syrupleaf, has been finished (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Syrupleaf/) and made available for noncluttered viewing.

Yeah, you know Gregness: stop hounding him for a second and he forgets all about you.

In all seriousness, yeah, sorry 'bout no update over the weekend. I'm trying to write a program for my Data Structures class and I haven't even been able to get the damn thing to compile. I swear to god every time I make a change that I think will fix it I end up with even MORE errors. Yes ISO C++, I know you think that I haven't defined my class, but what you don't understand is that the declaration IS RIGHT THERE!

On the bright side, I'm going to meet with my TA tomorrow to try and get this thing straightened out, and after my lab tomorrow night I actually don't have any other homework this week which means I'll do my damnedest to get some updates y'alls way.

Again, I apologize to y'all about the space between updates. It was december when I signed up and I had the faintest hope I'd get my turn before the semester started. As always, your patience and indulgence are appreciated, and I'm glad you guys like what I've done so far.

[Thadius]

Your message leaves me with the imprint that A) you know the future and B) know we won't like it.

[OhnoesFlanked]

I hope you managed to screen cap the destruction frame by frame, Gregness.

[Gregness]

Your message leaves me with the imprint that A) you know the future and B) know we won't like it.
I hope you managed to screen cap the destruction frame by frame, Gregness.

Lolwut?

Seriously, did I post something that I'm not aware of?

Anyway, relatively uneventful so far, update later tonight probably (that is, 'bout 12:30-1:00 pacific).

Well, uneventful except for the fact that ONE OF YOU DIED!

[Geminex]

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

[01d55]

Yes ISO C++, I know you think that I haven't defined my class, but what you don't understand is that the declaration IS RIGHT THERE!

Did you forget to put that semicolon after the closing brace? Also, by "RIGHT THERE" do you mean above or below the line that thinks you haven't declared the class? If it's above then you really haven't declared the class yet!

That's no carp...

[Viridis]

Greg is just trying to get ratings. (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TonightSomeoneDies)

...I bet it was Bob, though.

[Geminex]

Ten dwarfbucks say it's the elves' fault. Somehow.
It always is, damn tree-hugging, water-drinking hippies.

[Flarecobra]

...Why do I suspect it was me? Again?

[PyrosNine]

Probably Loyal, he's braindead after all, and he probably forgot how doors open and died of starvation.

[Gregness]

So, I've got all the screenshots ready for the update 'cept I just woke up from a surprise twenty minute nap. I think we'll all be better served if I just go ahead and get some sleep and do this in the morning when I'm thinking straight.

[Geminex]

That's fine with me.

Though I just made a realization.

One of the few things more awesome than a Dwarf fortress LP would be a drunk DF LP.
Though probably only the posts'd be made in an inebriated state, not the playing itself.

[Gregness]

The goblins finally got tired of sitting outside being useless. The southern group tried a few times to ford the river, and I think one of them even got across at one point, but the main force was effectively isolated from any access to the fort. I woke up this morning and they were gone; I would guess they packed it in and left at night in order to keep some semblance of dignity.

Or maybe given how badly they fared against us they thought we'd storm out of our fort all glowy and super-powerful and shoot them with energy from our spiky beards or whatever. Who knows with these dumbass goblins.

From what I understand, the other dwarves have given Melfice a title in order to "honor" him for his "eloquence" during his sortie.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_MelfsTitle.jpg

The sad thing is that I think Melfice is taking them seriously.

Of course, one of the other dwarves, Matsci, heard about Sibrek, Loyal, and Melfice facing down the goblin hordes and took inspiration:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_bucklernomicon.jpg

To be honest, I'm not sure why he chose cat leather of all things. It's not like we don't have a shitton of Adamantine and steel lying around specifically for armorcraft. I tried asking him about it and he said it was "a tribute to our fallen Thadius" which, of course, only raises more questions. First off, what the fuck does cat leather have to do with Thadius? Second, I knew that our most recent "Thadius" was just some schmuck who went nuts when the old leader died, but how long has this been common knowledge?

Regardless, Matsci's masterwork is impressive, as is he:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_Matsci.jpg
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_MatsciThoughts.jpg

Apparantly he worked the marble and steel with his bare goddamn hands.


It's not all artifacts and mocking though. No one has seen Geminex in about a week.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_poorGem.jpg

My guess is he was walking through the twilight zone of a maze we've got under this fort and was startled by the undead in the river. No way to tell for sure though, the tunnels are labarynthine and there's little hope of finding his body without him to call for help.

Regardless, it's high time that we and the vermin in the river had a reckoning.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_5levelsDown.jpg
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_downriver.jpg

This is almost immediately below the hole where Thadius died in the cave-in

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_pitTop.jpg


-----------------------


Got a few out of character things to write as well, but I've got class at 10:00 so I'll take care of that later

Matsci = dwarfed.
Geminex = D-E-D

[Geminex]

Oh fer god's sake.

The history of the dwarf geminex:
1: Was told he'd be engineer, turned out to be only peasant
2: Was promised a place in the hammerdwarf squad, never heard about this again
3: Drowned ignobly.

I demand to be redwarfed. Preferrably as something actually competent.

[Viridis]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_poorGem.jpg

What does it mean when it says I command something? Did I barricade myself in a room and claim it as my own? Did I take charge of a military unit? Did we give me the keys to a weapon of mass lava-based destruction? What?

[Melfice]

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/4_poorGem.jpg

What does it mean when it says I command something? Did I barricade myself in a room and claim it as my own? Did I take charge of a military unit? Did we give me the keys to a weapon of mass lava-based destruction? What?

You got promoted to squad captain, in this case the squad "The Accidental Chambers".
Quite possibly, Viridis was a subordinate of Geminex in that squad IF Geminex actually led a squad, OR you became a champion in whatever combat skill, and got auto-promoted because nobody else in that squad is your equal.

[Loyal]

It means you're 'in charge' of the squad. Which means that the overseer still decides where your squad is going to go, but because EVERYONE in the squad follows the leader, everywhere, at all times (unless actually in combat), your dwarf more or less 'decides' when his squad is active.

Or in short, you'll be shuffled out of the leader spot as soon as a siege arrives and you decide then would be a good time to get hammered and catch a nap.

[Viridis]

Ah, thanks. Thought it was something like that.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

YES, I'm still not dead!! Only permanently wounded and battle scarred.

[Sithdarth]

I had a dwarf randomly drown on me once right after what I assume was his brother got elected. After an extensive search I found him at the bottom of the well. I can only assume that after the electron the mayor wanted to get rid of his shady past and so had someone throw his brother down the well.

[Viridis]

If you're insinuating that Viridis drowned Geminex to get promoted... I have no problem with that.

[Wigmund]

Hmmm...does receiving an early king prevent the other nobles (Count/Duke/Baron, the consorts, Hammerer, Tax Collector, etc.) from arriving. I figure we're near 80 pop so the useless twits should be arriving soon.

I demand to be redwarfed. Preferrably as something actually competent.

A competent dwarf? hahahahahahahahahahaha...oh, that was a good laugh.

Actually, have you ever wanted to philosophize (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Philosopher)?

[Yumil]

Hmmm...does receiving an early king prevent the other nobles (Count/Duke/Baron, the consorts, Hammerer, Tax Collector, etc.) from arriving. I figure we're near 80 pop so the useless twits should be arriving soon.



A competent dwarf? hahahahahahahahahahaha...oh, that was a good laugh.

Actually, have you ever wanted to philosophize (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Philosopher)?
There's more to it than pop, it also needs a certain amount exported. Ah yes, this is the requirements:
http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Dwarven_economy

[Wigmund]

There's more to it than pop, it also needs a certain amount exported. Ah yes, this is the requirements:
http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Dwarven_economy

Well then, let's get on with the useless crap production.

I wanna see a long line of useless shitsnobles who have unfortunate tendencies to fall into pits, get burned alive in magma, drown when their rooms mysteriously fill up with water, get attacked by rabid zombie goats hiding under their beds, get trapped permanently in their tombsbedrooms when the doors lock behind them, walk under dropped bridges, be on the other side of the gates examining pretty flowers when the latest siege arrives, and so on.

[Matsci]

To be honest, I'm not sure why he chose cat leather of all things. It's not like we don't have a shitton of Adamantine and steel lying around specifically for armorcraft. I tried asking him about it and he said it was "a tribute to our fallen Thadius" which, of course, only raises more questions. First off, what the fuck does cat leather have to do with Thadius? Second, I knew that our most recent "Thadius" was just some schmuck who went nuts when the old leader died, but how long has this been common knowledge?


Simple, Cats, like Thadius, adopt an dwarf/fortress, and raise it to greatness! They both clean up the vermin around fortresses, and both cause more of their species to be at a location!

[Thadius]

...Okay I admit my current fort is great, mainly because of the metric dwarftons of food and metal we're turning out.

I also am playing the trick of 'Gobbo armor doesn't technically count as an export' and avoiding most nobles showing up. I exported a few totems and got a philosopher, I plan to go slow on that so that I don't get the more annoying ones. Clean up vermin? Check.

But cause more of my species?

...Myself and Shyria shall have to hurt you for that. Would you prefer fire or water?

[Matsci]

...Okay I admit my current fort is great, mainly because of the metric dwarftons of food and metal we're turning out.

I also am playing the trick of 'Gobbo armor doesn't technically count as an export' and avoiding most nobles showing up. I exported a few totems and got a philosopher, I plan to go slow on that so that I don't get the more annoying ones. Clean up vermin? Check.

But cause more of my species?

...Myself and Shyria shall have to hurt you for that. Would you prefer fire or water?

I was intending to say you made the fortress so great, you caused a dorfsplosion....

But if I must go, the true way would be both fire and water. A TOMB OF SOLID OBSIDIAN!

[Loyal]

Where does Shyria come into it exactly?

[Thadius]

A) She provides the fire. B) I'm not allowed to hurt/maim/torture anyone without her. She doesn't like missing out on Fun.

[Krylo]

...Okay I admit my current fort is great, mainly because of the metric dwarftons of food and metal we're turning out.

I also am playing the trick of 'Gobbo armor doesn't technically count as an export' and avoiding most nobles showing up. I exported a few totems and got a philosopher, I plan to go slow on that so that I don't get the more annoying ones. Clean up vermin? Check.


Why?

If you don't want to up your exported wealth and still want things the traders have, just do what I do: Turn the trade depot into a drowning chamber complete with screw pump drainage system.

Elves, humans, or, if you are particularly cut throat (and I am) Dwarves have something you want? Clear any friendlies from the area, close the flood gates, and drown them. Drain out the water when you're done, and collect the loot.

Occasionally you may have to disassemble and then reassemble the trade depot or flush water through to wash items that your dwarves are too goddamn stupid to move away from the flood gates, but all in all it works very nicely.

AND, if you make it impossible to enter your fort other than going through the depot you can set up the drowning chamber system on a series of pressure plates as well as connecting it to a lever or two, and it will double as a rather vicious anti-siege trap.

I had part of a siege get into my fort once and didn't even notice until I started having miasma from the dead goblins in there.

[Thadius]

The only problem with your idea there Krylo is that currently my trade depot sits inside my vast storeroom created exactly for this purpose. I'd flood the fort, were I to try.

I also, uh, somehow...accidentally drained the entire river. I made it part of the waterfall feature in the dining room (Which has dwarf bones in it again!) and then set it to drain into the bottomless pit. A few seasons later I noticed that further downstream, yes, we have no river. Just an endless waterfall into an endless pit.

No wonder the humies are so mad at me. I also hope it wasn't feeding an elf forest down the line. Or a mountainhome. That'd be hard to explain away.

[Wigmund]

I prefer the deep pit defense (what I had built for Workgill).

That way, when I see that the elves are bringing me nothing but cloth bins, I can drop them into the pit to show my displeasure.
I still get all that damn cloth, but I can also make some elf bone mugs and elf skull totems to sell to their next caravan.

EDIT: Oh, and having a sixteen level shaft down your main stairwell is great for lobbing goblin prisoners sacrifices to Armok down. Managed to get some gobbo's head to bounce up and lodge on the stairs six levels above the bottom of the pit. Rest of them splattered into a huge frigging pile of heads, arms, legs, torsos and whatnot.

[Gregness]

Lest y'all think I've forgotten about this, don't worry. I've got a midterm on thursday that I'm going to be studying for, and then this weekend I should be able to finally finish my turn!

[Thadius]

You took so long I built my own liontower, tossed a hundred goblins (and one elf) into it, ended up crushing about twenty before the thing even went off, finally fired it, and recorded the whole event.

The one thing I regret not doing is adding in the menacing spikes at the bottom.

It would have been perfect.

[Wigmund]

:p Where be my update? My weekend is not complete without seeing what fun has broken out in Workgill. :p


Like in my current fort, just broke into the HFS. Sewer Clowns everywhere. Something floated and my fort shrank from 110+ to 36. That includes 8 children (all orphans), 5 champions in the Royal and Fortress Guards, and 6 nobles.

There's bodies everywhere in the lower levels of my fortress and in my drinking water. Miasma everywhere. Blood and goo everywhere.

What fun!

Oh, and now I have a human siege on the fort...I guess they're pissed about their diplomat drowning because the twit decided to climb into my noble bathing reservoir as it was being filled.

[Gregness]

Update in progress.

[Wigmund]

THERE ABSOLUTELY WILL BE AN UPDATE THURSDAY NIGHT. You all have my word on it.

Goodness man, look at yourself. Letting this 'college' thing eat up all the time you could be amusing us with the destruction of a bunch of brain-damaged alcoholic midgets.

[Geminex]

Alternately, can't you pass it off as homework? Say, in... psychology?

[Gregness]

"Thank you all for coming."

I was standing in front of the who's who of Workgill. One-Eyed Wigmund sat to my left, one foot on the table looking as bored as dwarvenly possible. Next to him, Melfice and Loyal. Even though Loyal had received some... head trauma a while back that never fully healed, he and Melfice were the two most veteran soldiers we had (even if Sibrek passed them in kills thanks to her little berserker fit). Next was Sithdarth; my plan was sure to need more than a little of his expertise. I even managed to drag Viridis out of his office. I was more than a little annoyed that he hadn't finished his book keeping work, but what with being elected mayor out of the blue, I suppose it's only natural. Not everyone was here, but enough for me to get started.

"Before I get to the reason I called you all here today, I have a bit of good news for a change: We found Geminex! Though we can't be sure, it would appear as if he were going through the mining tunnels to gather raw materials when he was startled by one of the undead lizardmen inhabiting the styx."

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/5_gemsFate1.jpg

"He then fell into the river and drowned."

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/5_gemsFate2.jpg

"The solace we gain by knowing what happened to Geminex is immense, and yet only part of the reason I bring it up."

I paused for effect, and looked around the table. Loyal seemed bored, his attention span had suffered since the injury, but at least everyone seemed willing to hear me out.

"The river Styx has been a undead filled thorn in our side for far too long. The shafts that lead to the surface, whether from cave-ins or our own excavations, frighten the peasantry slowing work to a crawl in some of our most highly trafficked areas."

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/5_howToUndesignate.jpg

"This pit here, the one that claimed Thadius not too long ago, keeps us from recovering much of the scrap iron left behind by the goblins simply because no one will go near the damn thing because of the undead's wailing. Not that I really blame them since with as many as there are, I can here it in my room some nights."

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4223625/5_targetUndead.jpg

"Geminex's death has made it all too clear that we've ignored this problem for too long. The time has come to cleanse the river and rid ourselves of their stench and damnable howling."

Melfice was unimpressed: "Oh yeah, sure, let me just hop on in the river with my plate mail becausethat's not a retarded idea at all. I knew this was a waste of time."

Sithdarth spoke up as well: "Yeah, I'm curious how you're planning to pull this off when none of us can swim in armor and none of the peasants will go near enough to excavate a detour for the water."

I grinned.

"With science, of course. Dwarven science."

"You do know I'm a better mechanic than you, right?"

"Maybe, but no imagination. It's simple, really. We just stop the river!"


================================================== ======


Whew, done. I'm not gonna pretend that that was TOTALLY WORTH THE WAIT, but I got through the necessary setup for my endgame plan (endturn plan, whatever). Next week's spring break for me, so if I don't manage to finish this thing then I'm going to have to retire in shame or something.

In case it wasn't obvious, the two screeshots dealing with Gem's corpse are the same screen, just offset one z-level. The shot with the bridge is one level up from the one with gem's corpse. I redwarfed Gem as a peasant, and then drafted him as our first hammerdwarf.

Again, sorry about the long wait between updates you guys.

[Corel]

I was expecting an "Alright gentlemen, how do we kill Superman?" somewhere within the meeting.

Oh man, the descriptions of the dwarves. We're going to have an even more colourful bunch as time goes on (before imminent death). This demands art when the time comes.

[Geminex]

We need to draw them anime-style.

Thadius "Not a Spy" with the paper mask in front of his face, eyes gleaming behind the holes
Loyal, bulging with muscles and beardedness, a very vacant expression on his face
Sithdarth, sitting in a giant mechanical beard (Cause that's what engineers do, right? They build bigger beards?)
Melfice, heavily armored, scowling.
Wigmund, brandishing his crossbow, his arrow squad in the background
Geminex, wielding a hammer twice his size.

Title:
DWARF FORTRESS
-Time for Fun-

...

Also, am I the only one who's thinking there really needs to be a combination between TF and DF?

[Flarecobra]

I just had a mental image of Dwarf-Loyal seeing a bunch of undead, and a sandwich being shredded....and Loyal just going apeshit on them, screaming "FOR THE BLT!"

Or something along those lines.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Ahem! Why was I not invited to the meeting?? I am only Hawk of Battle, First Marksdwarve of Workgill you know!

Let it be noted that I am very annoyed and armed.

[Bob The Mercenary]

I am also concerned that I was not present at the meeting of the hivemind.

Or maybe I died already. Haven't really been paying too much attention.

[Loyal]

Well, you're just common soldiers.

[mauve]

Well, I'm certainly interested to see what this scientific solution to the river problem will be. XD


I'm not concerned about Queen Mauve not being at the meeting. I'm sure she's too busy with super important royal stuff at the moment. Like bossing people around and demanding better decorations in her room. And drinking.

Probably drinking.


Is she even still alive?

[Melfice]

Well, I'm certainly interested to see what this scientific solution to the river problem will be. XD

I'm thinking Greg's planning on damming up the river a good ways upstream from our mining shafts. How... not sure. Possibly collapsing the ceiling?

[Krylo]

I don't think that collapsed ceilings actually form 'walls' or even leave rocks as I recall, so that wouldn't work as far as I know, but it's been a bit since I've played.

There are other options, though, like using screw pumps to part the river and then build a wall through it. That'd be cool. He could also tunnel down down under it for a ways, and THEN collapse the ceiling so it breaks through the river bed and drains the water into a lower z-level.

[Melfice]

I've never actually had either collapsing ceilings, nor have I ever tried damming or diverting any kind of stream, so... yeah. That sounds more logical.

[Gregness]

Ahem! Why was I not invited to the meeting?? I am only Hawk of Battle, First Marksdwarve of Workgill you know!

Let it be noted that I am very annoyed and armed.

Actually, as a minor spoiler, you were invited. It just takes you a while to get anywhere what with all your injuries so I was going to have you get there in the next update.

I've never actually had either collapsing ceilings, nor have I ever tried damming or diverting any kind of stream, so... yeah. That sounds more logical.

Here's a hint: if you're using logic, your science isn't Dwarven enough.

[Sithdarth]

The sad part is that actually works if you replace fire with a carp ton of lava.

[Melfice]

The sad part is that actually works if you replace fire with a carp ton of lava.

A... carp ton?
Is this a Dwarven measurement?
How many carp it takes to completely eradicate a well-established fortress? :P

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Wouldn't that just be one Carp though? So what it's like a universal measurment of imminent destruction?

[Wigmund]

Took some time to dig through Kerensky's save to look at the Legends of Workgill.

Found some sad information about our dear Queen Mauve...
she's lost all her children to various monsters.
7177
Oldest daughter was killed by a cyclops that had actually attacked Mauve and her husband.
Youngest daughter was killed by an ogre she'd been hunting for several years.
Oldest son was eaten by a hydra.
Youngest son was slain by an ettin.

[Wigmund]

Has our proud fortress fallen?
Are all the dwarfs floating in the River Styx, being munched upon by the foul undead that dwell there?
Has our overseer simply forgotten about Workgill?
This awesome story needs to continue - we haven't even opened up the Pit to play with the Flaming Clowns.

[waddle2120]

I think I am scheduled to take over after the current administration; short of reading through all 600 something posts again, is there anyplace that has a list of all the changes to the files that I have to make to make the game run properly? (something about pet exotic I think)

[Melfice]

Has our proud fortress fallen?
Are all the dwarfs floating in the River Styx, being munched upon by the foul undead that dwell there?
Has our overseer simply forgotten about Workgill?
This awesome story needs to continue - we haven't even opened up the Pit to play with the Flaming Clowns.

I think Gemmi Greg is just going through what a lot of Dwarf Fortress players are going through.
Don't wanna continue this fort with Dwarf Fortress 2010 just around the corner*. So many awesome new things!

* Might still be months off for we know, but y'know. He's doing the "final" tests!

[mauve]

Took some time to dig through Kerensky's save to look at the Legends of Workgill.

Found some sad information about our dear Queen Mauve...
she's lost all her children to various monsters.
7177
Oldest daughter was killed by a cyclops that had actually attacked Mauve and her husband.
Youngest daughter was killed by an ogre she'd been hunting for several years.
Oldest son was eaten by a hydra.
Youngest son was slain by an ettin.

Queen Mauve is the best parent ever.


Actually, She's probably too busy demanding better furnature in her throne room to notice they're gone.

[Wigmund]

I think Gemmi Greg is just going through what a lot of Dwarf Fortress players are going through.
Don't wanna continue this fort with Dwarf Fortress 2010 just around the corner*. So many awesome new things!

* Might still be months off for we know, but y'know. He's doing the "final" tests!

From what I understand, DF 2010 will not reverse compatible with older saves.

Kinda sad, but at least having fun watching the dorfs run around and play doctor on each other will make up for the lost fortresses.

[Thadius]

I think I am scheduled to take over after the current administration; short of reading through all 600 something posts again, is there anyplace that has a list of all the changes to the files that I have to make to make the game run properly? (something about pet exotic I think)

Yeah, my brain. Fortunately for you, I'm willing to divulge the particular contents without your needing a truth serum/psychic powers/alien mind probe.

Which is good, cause I still know what I 'fixed.'

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Yeah, my brain. Fortunately for you, I'm willing to divulge the particular contents without your needing a truth serum/psychic powers/alien mind probe.

Which is good, cause I still know what I 'fixed.'

Awww, man. *puts away the probing equipment* You're making me think that getting my M.D from that seedy strip mall college was a bad investment after all. I never get to use it!

[Loyal]

There's nothing that you'd be 'required' to change, but as of Greg's current turn, the only things that have actually been implemented, by one person or another, are [TRAINABLE] tags for Wolves and Unicorns, and [PET_EXOTIC] for Unicorns, as well as the Cat Mouth Bug fix. (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Cat_cancels_Store_Item_in_Stockpile:_Too_injur ed)

Again, since none of these changes require a world regen, whether or not you choose to go with them is up to you. The save will run fine and dandy with straight-out-of-the-box DF.

[Gregness]

So, yeah, update...

On the one hand: Someone else in this situation might be all "a-hur-hur-hur I promised a bunch of nerds on the internet I'd do something and I didn't OH NOES!"

On the other hand: my word is important to me, dammit. :stressed:


When I said in an earlier post that I didn't want to complain about things delaying updates that are generally pretty rad, what I meant to say was that I've gotten a girlfriend since the semester (and my turn) started which combined with homework isn't so good on the whole "free time" thing. She came to visit last week which is why I didn't finish it like I thought I would.

Also, my Dwarven Science solution to the river situation is something I read on the bay12 forums, but I've not actually done anything like it before so I've been reading up on the relavent wiki entries.

I've pretty much got my last two updates outlined in my head, it's just a matter of sitting down and letting the dwarves enact my WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

[waddle2120]

Well if we all die then I won't have to worry about captaining a sinking ship!

[Kerensky287]

There's nothing that you'd be 'required' to change, but as of Greg's current turn, the only things that have actually been implemented, by one person or another, are [TRAINABLE] tags for Wolves and Unicorns, and [PET_EXOTIC] for Unicorns, as well as the Cat Mouth Bug fix. (http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Cat_cancels_Store_Item_in_Stockpile:_Too_injur ed)

Again, since none of these changes require a world regen, whether or not you choose to go with them is up to you. The save will run fine and dandy with straight-out-of-the-box DF.

While this is probably true, I'll go ahead and recommend that at the very least you change the Wolf and Unicorn entries, considering how many of both are currently tame residents of our little fort. Imagine if all those adorable pets suddenly became wild! You'd be right fucked, you would.

[The Wandering God]

I hope it's okay to ask a question. I didn't want to start a whole other thread.

Is there any way to either zoom in (not zoom to something) so the tiles are bigger, or make the tiles bigger by fiddling with the game files? I'm trying out the Complete and Utter Newb tutorial, but I have to put my face a foot away from the screen to make things out.

Perhaps it's easier to see what's what without a tile set and using the plain ASCII?

[Wigmund]

The scroll wheel on the mouse (usually) will zoom you in and out.

As for tile size, my default is what you see in most of my journals here.