SMB's terrorism school now open

[Professor Smarmiarty]

So once of the first years I teach just got arrested for making crystal meth, got his halls of residence evacuated, bomb squad in to make sure it ok.
I don't know whether to be impressed that he clearly learned something or horrified at his sloppy techniques.
I only teach them chemistry, however, and my opportunity to teach the wider subjects proper for neccessary mental grounding is limited. Really this is the inditement of the university system, we highly train these people in super criminal skills without teaching them the proper outlet for these skills (progressive dismantlement of the government).

Don't know the point of this thread, just thought it was wacky. Also the WTF smilely is smoking, it seems appropriate

[Geminex]

Clearly you taught him everything you know.

Edit:
Except how not to get caught.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

No, if Smarty had taught the kid everything he knew rather than everything the kid knew, the kid would have been smart enough not to get caught.

[krogothwolf]

I'm guessing smarty taught him how to be drunk and to rage against the government first, then chemistry. His next subject probably would have been how not to get caught...or the guy was drunk and high and told the wrong person, who claimed to be a friend of the anti-government forces but was really a cop, about his meth.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I'm disappointed as shit. First thing I teach them is you always brew your chemicals in the lab. As long as you got a hazard note on it nobody will take a second glance. And you can get university to pay for all of your equipment and most of your chemicals.
Also some of my colleagues got to see the "lab"- being brewed with unclean equipment and with primitive heat controls. If you kill your customers they not going to be coming back for a second hit are they? Also with even the most basic of chemical controls- as I teach them in the analytical sections of their courses- you could high-end the market as even "pure meth" is disgracefully made and is barely pure at all.
It's friggen amateur hour.
I'm thinking I might give that class a bollocking next time I see them, especially for not helping their friend improve his method.

[Geminex]

Didn't you know? Everyone who claims to be a friend of the anti-government forces is really a cop.

In fact, everyone ever is really a cop. That is the police state we all live in.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Nah you can tell the fuzz from the non-fuzz by looking deeply. If they look like a massive raging cunt with a power complex, they are a cop.

Edit: OH shit........ Guy in my office is marking this guys assignments. Temptation to put massive coded references to his lack of drug making prowess overwhelming.

[krogothwolf]

Maybe the guy has a fetish for massive raging cunts and it threw off his detecting skills?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't normally teach fuzzdetection to students, not 1st years at least.

[krogothwolf]

So then, there you go, that's why he got caught. You should probably teach them that first then.

[Geminex]

Nah you can tell the fuzz from the non-fuzz by looking deeply. If they look like a massive raging cunt with a power complex, they are a cop.

That sounds exactly like the sort of thing a cop would say.

Edit: OH shit........ Guy in my office is marking this guys assignments. Temptation to put massive coded references to his lack of drug making prowess overwhelming.
Hahahahayessssssss

[Professor Smarmiarty]

So then, there you go, that's why he got caught. You should probably teach them that first then.

I'm still at the stage where I'm deluding myself into thinking I'm teaching them chemistry. I really need to give it up and just dive hardcore into terrorism school.
Need to keep it on the dl though, so the feds don't raid us. Got to put in my lessons all surreptitious like.

That sounds exactly like the sort of thing a cop would say.


Hahahahayessssssss

Oh god, he didn't balance his equations correctly and his charges don't balance: "If you don't pay careful attention, you will be overlaiden with charges."
Also his masses don't add up across his reaction: "You seem to be suspiciously losing some of your reactants somewhere, you need to convince us you aren't mishandling it somehow like losing it in the filter paper."

I am massively glad they won't give me the paper to mark.

[TDK]

...Is anyone else reminded of Breaking Bad? I endorse this. Go for it, Smarty, that show is fucking awesome.

[Marc v4.0]

I'm disappointed as shit. First thing I teach them is you always brew your chemicals in the lab. As long as you got a hazard note on it nobody will take a second glance. And you can get university to pay for all of your equipment and most of your chemicals.
Also some of my colleagues got to see the "lab"- being brewed with unclean equipment and with primitive heat controls. If you kill your customers they not going to be coming back for a second hit are they? Also with even the most basic of chemical controls- as I teach them in the analytical sections of their courses- you could high-end the market as even "pure meth" is disgracefully made and is barely pure at all.
It's friggen amateur hour.
I'm thinking I might give that class a bollocking next time I see them, especially for not helping their friend improve his method.

All of this is the best

[krogothwolf]

I really need to give it up and just dive hardcore into terrorism school.


I'm surprised this isn't being done already.

[Azisien]

How does a 1st year not balance an equation even, we learn that in Grade 10.

I can understand the odd mistake but like, if you are going to cook drugs, it pays to triple check.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

...Is anyone else reminded of Breaking Bad? I endorse this. Go for it, Smarty, that show is fucking awesome.

I'm more worried about the distribution side. Like I can make super drugs but how am I going to sell them without getting shot up? That's the real problem with drug-running, there is a lack of clear supply chains.

I'm surprised this isn't being done already.

You ain't seen many science students. Those weedy nerds wouldn't last ten minutes.

How does a 1st year not balance an equation even, we learn that in Grade 10.

I can understand the odd mistake but like, if you are going to cook drugs, it pays to triple check.

I've had to teach 3rd years how to use their calculator and do basic maths (like doing multiplication, balancing units each side).
We do trick 1st years with crazy redox equations but should be able to handle it.
The sudden weight loss is fairly inexplicable.

[Geminex]

I'm more worried about the distribution side. Like I can make super drugs but how am I going to sell them without getting shot up? That's the real problem with drug-running, there is a lack of clear supply chains.
The obvious problem is that the means of production are subject to individual ownership. Violence is perpetuated by the concept of individual capital ("capital" in this case being "loads o' meth").

Obviously your meth should be free for everyone.

[Hatake Kakashi]

I'm between being amused and horrified (we have a huge meth problem over here). Srsly, SMB, what was your cut going to be?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't think that would curb the violence. My production would not be particularly fast and "Hoshit hoshit, why are you taking so long? There is loads of meth in that beaker, give me it, give me it now" would lead to the same outcome.
I need to get in touch with the mob I think. Back home I used to live next to a known triad hangout (people were stabbed to death in the carpark where we played carpark football) but in my new digs I'm totally isolated from the men I need to speak to.

Hatake: I wasn't even getting a cut! I think my cut was supposedly to be my paltry wages I get for teaching.

[Bard The 5th LW]

You may be able to form a mob of your own. If you are out of touch with them, would that mean you wouldn't be edging in on their turf? Or is everywhere their turf?

[Professor Smarmiarty]

I don't want to get into the complex world of gang politics. It's way too game theory.

I just want to make my drugs, sell them off, be done with it.

Edit: Story takes new twist! Sex! Drugs! Probably some music!
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2011/01/17/bomb-squad-bust-student-sex-drugs-laboratory-86908-22855118/

[krogothwolf]

You ain't seen many science students. Those weedy nerds wouldn't last ten minutes.

And I guess having the brains(sometimes) to realize blowing yourself up is the worst way to do things helps keep them from trying to hard.