Just how many women did Bhall sleep with anyways?!

[Thadius]

Thread two, now with more feeling!

If you aren't familiar with my first thread, go fix that. (http://www.nuklearforums.com/showthread.php?t=38193)

When last we saw Mary Worth, she was getting drunk off her ass. Hey, why am I back here, anyways? I fully intended to leave you for dead.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Necromancer? I just channeled my spell back along the same connection you're using now.

Ah, threadomancy. Curse you. Anyways, today we'll be finishing up the last of the normal story. Step one is to return to Baldur's Gate.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Check. Step two?

Sorcery shop has a new patron nearby that you should check out. She's somewhat important. Just be careful, the Flaming Fist aren't your friends anymore and you really want to avoid them. Cause if you don't, well...

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Not who we wanted, but nice to know that there's someone who believes in us.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Should we bother?

Hell yes.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Beat him, but don't kill him if at all possible. In other words, show restraint. Is that manageable?

Technically, yes, you could do that. If he weren't a raving delusional mass-murdering psychopath, then yes, you could foil all his plans and make him come to justice.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg ...So it's not gonna work out.

Since when has anything related to the Plot ever worked out for you? Anyways, let's follow up on that lead.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Oh hell no he still has some. That cannot be good.

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This encounter. I remember this one. This is the only one where at least one disspell magic spell is required to go off. The man has blur and the female is a mage/thief with invisibility. Once their protections are down it's a simple matter of thinking/Minscing them to death.

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Doing so earns Imoen a shiny new blade.

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Along with our requisite plot coupons. Now for the Iron Throne building, take two!

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Everybody is in a panic.

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Perhaps rightfully so.

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After all, their leaders are dead. And then there's Minsc killing anyone who wants to stop you.

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In some cases they're actually advocating you do what you do best.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Killing things and taking their loot?

Indeed.

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See? They want you to oust their new 'leader.'

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Sadly the only person left here is his shoulder devil and a few semi-invisible ogres. Another disspell, a few rounds of hacking/thinking things to death, and voila!

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Yet another plot coupon is ours. Now it's time for going to jail.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I thought you said not to?

No, I said not to before you did all these things. It would have been very inconvenient. You're going to have to sooner or later.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Fine. Where's the nearest Flaming Fist?

Just outside.

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Interesting note, if you threaten him, you get put away with no casualties. If you insult him, someone dies. Don't insult him, or it's a 1/6th chance of game over!

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Mary does some mental gymnastics to get out. Anyone who can tell me how that sequence works will get a cookie. Anyway, getting back in requires Minsc to make mincemeat of the no-longer Flaming Fist mercenaries, which he can do with no fuss at all. Going upstairs...

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We find someone with a brain, and another greater doppleganger. Only one of them comes out of here alive.

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We also find the duke, and getting him to medical attention is now a priority. I don't know if you can fail this or not, but since the place he needs to go is right next door, why would you?

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Now it's time to confront your old foe.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg This will be extremely cathartic.

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First we have to get past the bouncers.

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This is clearly a trap, so having everyone inside will be important. As will having a few disspells on standby, along with that wand of fear.

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And now it's time for a battle with half a dozen or so Greater Dopplegangers. Everyone who didn't see this one coming from a mile away, raise your hand.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I am noticing a lack of hands on both sides.

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Then a battle where you have to keep whoever lived alive long enough to make the least inconspicuous evil guy ever go 'aw fuck it' and run away. Talk about lazy!

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Fortunately whoever lived will send you right to him.

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Much to the chagrin of the thieves.

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She's not kidding. This place is horrible.

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Welcome to the maze! Your goal is that little doorway on the west side. It's not easy getting there!

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This is the route I tend to use. Carefully watched, all the characters can make it there without dying horrible deaths or activating any more beasties than necessary. The ones that do activate aren't that bad in the beginning...

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But then they turn humanoid, hit hard, and become somewhat resistant to magic. Not fun.

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Of course, these guys are even less so because they have bows and arrows of ice!

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Eventually we make it to the end and find that evil villain number one has disposed of his number one. We must be getting close to the end now!

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Seeing as how we need to heal up, we rest in the maze and Mary gets another freaky dream sequence, along with her last ability, another Draw Upon Holy Might.

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Welcome to the Undercity! Yes, Baldur's Gate was built twice, these are the ruins of the first attempt. Let's just leave it at 'something destroyed it so hard it sank into the earth' and move on. All along the southern edge are weak undead. Not a challenge, and not why we're here. We're heading to the only intact building, bar a few speed bumps. Actually, strike that. We WANT to hit the speed bumps and clear them out.

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Speed bump number one. Nothing much to say here, they all die in a fire.

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Speed bump number two. Yeah, you can talk her out of it, but there's a very good reason to kill her. Not merely because we can't keep our promise...

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But she has the best full plate armor in the original game. Minsc and Kahlid are already wearing Ankheg stuff, so Jaheria gets the upgrade.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Can I please kill him now?

Nope.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg There had better be a good explanation.

Simple. Yes, you've fought tooth and nail to get here, but there are three other quests that you can and will do. One is short. One is of middle-ish length. And the third one is a horrible lengthy puzzle dungeon. All three will end up giving you more power than you could ever need to bring him down. While yes, you might be able to kill him now, if you were willing to sacrifice your teammates, I feel that you shouldn't have to!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg You make a compelling argument...

Next time in this thread on the next page - I was unaware Hell had frozen over...

[PyrosNine]

I'm just a god of Fire, not a god of Murder, but I'm pretty sure it's spelled "Baal" when used normally, and Bhaal when used in this game. Just a reminder.

[tacticslion]

It's back and now everything's probably better forever!

[PyrosNine]

And I am happy about it too! I just was furious that I spent five minutes wondering who this Bhall guy was, and why he was sleeping around.

[Thadius]

Oh shut it, you. It's not like I can change it now anyways. Besides which, that's how I pronounce his name, so that's what I usually default to when typing it. It's been a while and I forgot to auto-correct myself.

[Grimpond]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

[Grimpond]

so except for the Tales of the Sword Coast, I cant readily think of anything else you have left to do. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmm:raise:

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Bumping this thread for great justice and so Thadius can get to work on the next update.

[Grimpond]

I know rite

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Jump pages you silly thread! *bumpity bump bump*

[Grimpond]

NHO U

[Thadius]

Okay, time to get outta this hellhole and get to the Beard.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Already on it.

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Welcome to...I think it's spelled Ulgloth's Beard? Anyway, this is where all the bonus stuff starts at. And ends at, funnily enough.

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Anyways, inside the inn, we get accosted by a dwarf.

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Naturally, as adventurers, retrieval of an ancient dagger of power is right up Mary's alley.

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This too, really...

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...Buuuuut once you leave, it's bloody difficult to get back, and there are other things we'd like to do as well.

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So we tell him no for now and move onwards.

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This task can be done at the same time as that dagger one, so it's not SO hard...

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...And one of these stones is the real article and necessary to do either of the aforementioned things.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Certainly I shall help you! But...why does it smell like wet dog in here?...

Perhaps he just keeps one around?

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Starting to grow a wee bit suspicious...

Oh it's nothing. There's still something else to do, though.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Okay seriously what's with all the forebod-

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg Yoink!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Did you just take a ring off his finger while he and I were distracted?

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg I'm just that good.

Anyways time to head to the tower for a bit...

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Welcome to Durlag's tower! We're just here to clean up the upper levels and the outside, there's not much here until we go below, and we won't be doing that anytime soon.

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First though, let's take that tour!

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I really love this guy's description of things. Too bad he won't last long.

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See? He's being helpful. Helpful people + Mary = Mary and a corpse, soon enough. More often than not, it also isn't her fault.

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You might be wondering for a second what he's screaming about...

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Meet the DemonKnight. I think he's the...second hardest thing to kill. And we won't be meeting him for a while after this.

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Anyway he just goes apeshit and destroys the tour guide, along with a few other poor souls, afore he leaves back down to the bottom levels.

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Upstairs, Imoen makes a friend!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Wait, don't our friends tend not to last long?

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That's true, and is also a sharp contrast to Durlag's friends, who seem to stick around even when he and the friend in question are dead!

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Anyway, Imoen goes back to her friend and butters him up with some nymph hair. Wait a tick, I don't recall there being any nymphs around...

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Oh we found her upstairs, said she was trapped until a lock of her hair was given to a mortal. Anyways, we've done that, so let's go collect our reward!

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Oh gods damnit, I just helped out a succubus.

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And you've sent Imoen's new friend to join her. Wonderful, Mary. Even without me around you manage to screw things up.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg You can bite me.

I would, but I know where you've been. Anyways, the upper levels are more of a test for Imoen vs. the traps, and seeing as how she was failing to see them, much less disarm them, I figured she needed a level or three. So, it was back to the Beard...

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And back to this guy! At this point in time, if you aren't listening to this song, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Ww60uHNYRE) go fix that, it's very appropriate.

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Welcome to the Ice Dungeon, we've got fun and flames! This dungeon is filled with random encounters with winter wolves, magical traps that Imoen keeps failing to see or disarm, and mages that have gone mad and can no longer be reasoned with.

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Like this guy!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I think that I will never see, a sight as beautiful as three fire rods in my inventory.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I'd rather not dwell among mad people.

Oh it's too late for that. They're all mad here, Mary.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I'm actually starting to feel sorry for these guys. I've only used up one rod!

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Dun, dun, dun, another one bites the dust...

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Welcome to the 'boss fight!' Mary just flames him. Dungeon over! Mary snags the cloak and heads outside.

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http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Well thanks for that chance to use my rods of flame. Why did you need that cloak anyways?

http://i53.tinypic.com/2r70m6s.jpg Oh, no reason. No reason at all.

Next time, in this thread on the next page: Mary's own personal hell!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg ...I have a bad feeling about this...

[Grimpond]

Woooooooo!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Must read more. Must read more!

WE MUST BUMP LEETLE THREAD

[Ravashak]

Did anyone figure out the numerical sequence from the first post? It's bugging me a bit. I have something that's might work, but it's so damn silly it's bound to be false.

[Flarecobra]

Oh dear.

[Grimpond]

i kno rite

[Loyal]

Haven't these people heard of a boat?

[Grimpond]

Arr, what's this "boat" ye speak of?! Talk sense man! We all know magic is the way to go!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

They cut down all the trees on the island for firewood. Those seabird and kelp omlettes won't cook themselves, after all.

[Malek]

For the numerical sequence, adding the differences between the current number and the previous two numbers gives the difference between the current and the next.
sequence: 1,2,4,7,12,20,33
differences: 1,2,3,5, 8, 13
adding the two most recent differences will give the next. I guess for the first two, you simply start with a difference of 1 since it's the smallest positive integer, and because it's the only difference at that point, you add it to itself to find the next, or you add it to the difference between 0 and 1, or some other justification.

[Grimpond]

BUMPITY BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP

[Thadius]

OKAY FINE GEEZE.

First, did not expect the sequence to be some sort of crazy Fibonacci sequence. Should have seen it.

Second I will play the next bit tonight, sometime soonish. Expect an update tomorrow.

That is, if it won't be a double-post.

[Krylo]

That's why God invented reposting.

[Ravashak]

Alternatively, that's why Shiney allows us to?

[Thadius]

In this update, we're going to help Mendas. If you recall, he said the merchants in the city had the charts he needed.

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So first we have to infiltrate their HQ.

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Which, as Mary proves, is not a big deal for someone like her. Just lie your way in...

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...Butter up the target...

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...Get...

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And give him what he wants, and voila!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Imoen's been teaching me, it seems to work quite well.

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Anyways, after a bit of other housecleaning is done, we deliver on our promise.

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Wait I think I have a song for this too. Yup, I do! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7Nb4voFm30)

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Welcome to the southern half of the island! It's peaceful. For now.

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This child explains things a bit for us, and it doesn't take long to find the chieftain of the island...

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Who explains exactly why this place may very well turn out to be Mary's personal hell.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I am beginning to loathe every fiber of your being for guiding me here in the first place.

Wouldn't be the first one. But let's go out sidequesting real quick, eh?

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Definitely a good deed to be doing there, right?

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Still hating you.

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http://i53.tinypic.com/2rqhzcy.jpg

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Also a good and important deed to be doing! One might even say it is critical to do this one to get out of here somewhat safely down the line.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Okay so maybe you do have a plan. But I still hate you.

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This is just to be nice to children.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg You're making this hard for me you know.

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And this is a no-fuss good quest to do.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Okay fine I renounce my hatred for you for now. You guided me here and clearly you have a plan to guide me out.

That I do.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg However, every second I spend here is like nails being drawn down a chalkboard so if you could just hurry the hell up already I would be much obliged.

To the north, then!

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Eh, not what we wanted.

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http://i49.tinypic.com/1zbb5e9.jpg These are...peculiar flowers. I believe I shall take a sampling for later.

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Welcome to the north half of the island! This is where the pain begins.

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First we have this guy who kindly demonstrates exactly what we're up against for now.

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Meet the Werewolf! I don't care what the picture says, shut up. It's a werewolf. It also doesn't last long, thanks to the fact that we have Minsc on the front lines, along with Jaheria and a recently-purchased +3 quarterstaff and Kahlid and his sword of killing shapeshifters. However, the north half of the island is infested with these guys, and they tend to try and set 'ambushes,' as you'll see later.

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Anyways, Minsc talks to the pretty lady and gets the body of the guy we're here to get. Interesting note, no matter who the Siren Queen talks to, the body always goes to the main character's inventory. Be sure to check before running off! Otherwise your fragile perfect little mage could end up NOT MOVING.

http://i56.tinypic.com/35ncw76.jpg

http://i51.tinypic.com/347d7yx.jpg

See what I said? 'Ambush.' Although technically you have to run into this one...

http://i54.tinypic.com/aebhvp.jpg

http://i49.tinypic.com/1zbb5e9.jpg Why this man had this doll I do not know nor wish to know. Let us move on.

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Yet another 'ambush' later and we arrive at the tiny little shack we saw earlier. Inside, madness lies.

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Fortunately, it's the 'slightly mad from so much isolation' sort rather than the 'very mad and going to kill you' sort.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg How is this different than the last group of insane mages we fought off?

Easy. He's not chaotic. He's still retained his moral compass. Plus he's actually helpful.

http://i52.tinypic.com/20s6a0k.jpg

See? He wants you to live.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Methinks Minsc will be getting this. In the war on werewolves, he's our best weapon.

Good call.

http://i54.tinypic.com/20544rs.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I assume this is the ship and...what is that noise? I hear...screaming?

Hold on, zooming out.

http://i53.tinypic.com/2wdympe.jpg

What the heck? Is that?...

http://i52.tinypic.com/15oezr5.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/w9uwjb.jpg FOR THE HORDE! DIE WEREWOLF SCUM!

Mac, NO!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg HIT THE DECK!

One gratuitously large explosion later...

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg ...Should we...should we go in?

If only to check up on what happened, yes.

http://i54.tinypic.com/2j1omsm.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Everything here seems to be dead already. Imoen?

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg Yeah, I know, I'm on scouting duty.

http://i53.tinypic.com/23k7uqw.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg Everything here's dead too.

http://i52.tinypic.com/jj8b5e.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg These guys aren't moving either.

http://i53.tinypic.com/29ft4ys.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg Whatever happened helped us in a big way.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg What was it?

A MirMacle, the likes of which will never be seen again. You'd best be grateful for it.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Gratuity inbound.

Seriously. FUCK THAT SHIT AND THE SHIP IT RODE IN ON. The first floor is a wolf pack. OF VAMPIRE WOLVES. Right next to EVERYONE, INCLUDING your casters! AND IT ONLY GETS FUCKING WORSE THE HIGHER UP YOU GO. This is the only time I actually ADVOCATE cheating! Getting through without anyone dying is fucking impossible. And there are no churches on this island to revive the dead for you! At least I provided a reason, silly and not actually in the game it may be, that we're not fighting this battle. And this is the only time I will cheat, honest. I just needed to say FUCK THAT as hard as I could.

http://i54.tinypic.com/2mo56h5.jpg

http://i45.tinypic.com/im1mp0.jpg Oooh! New sword for Minsc to slice up doggies with!

Also on the fourth floor: The spellbook we're after, the baby we need to rescue, Balduran's logbook, and his butterknife.

I don't know why you need his butterknife, but there it is.

http://i53.tinypic.com/330r3ug.jpg

And of course once he leaves, we pick up the cloak from his chest that the historian wanted, along with his book of observations about the island/his recipe book. Time to head back and finish off the sidequesting!

http://i52.tinypic.com/2hrd4w3.jpg

http://i52.tinypic.com/21ormog.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/2efsso8.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/ajqec4.jpg

http://i52.tinypic.com/11jc1av.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/104m1ps.jpg

In case you hadn't noticed, this guy is long-winded.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg But nice. And knowledgeable. And perhaps even cute.

Oh you will regret that. Talking to him again...

http://i56.tinypic.com/t4tmqs.jpg

http://i51.tinypic.com/9rstq8.jpg

...Reveals that he thinks the same? Oh if only you lot KNEW the pain you were setting yourselves up for.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Well excuse me if we're not all demigods of Plot. I suppose I should finish up the sidequesting, then?

Indeed. I'll be finding adequate shelter for the coming bombshell. Where'd that little nuclear fallout shelter go?...

http://i51.tinypic.com/hv9zyp.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/2r6f888.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/f3gdw6.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Getting a viiiiiiibe from this plaaaaaace....

You ain't seen nothin' yet. Head back to the chieftain.

http://i55.tinypic.com/de0jgl.jpg

The chieftain starts telling Mary of the history of the island...

http://i53.tinypic.com/w1wfbq.jpg

And then she drops the friggin' bombshell of the eon. Mary responds as best she can.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg As put oh so adequately by my own personal tormentor and demigod that watches o'er my adventure... FUCK YOU, BITCH! YOU'RE ALL GONNA BURN!

http://i52.tinypic.com/11m9x0n.jpg

Mary! Such language!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Technically accurate. She IS a werewolf, i.e. a female canid, and the last bit was more of a statement of intent.

And the first bit?

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg The sound of my mind snapping. And if you keep calling me out on this, I'll gladly throw you into the 'all' part of 'you're all gonna burn.'

No no, by all means! Go ahead with your plans.

http://i52.tinypic.com/2qk17p2.jpg

Of course, going outside reveals that everyone is a werewolf and hates you now.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg THE FEELING IS MUTUAL.

http://i54.tinypic.com/vqp4ex.jpg

He's a werewolf too, but actually has a brain and wants to help.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Then he shall be spared.

http://i53.tinypic.com/2rfv8sj.jpg

The mage tells you what you already know, and drops a hint that we'll be seeing him again later. Much later.

http://i52.tinypic.com/sbppjl.jpg

Your earlier friend decides to hold off the pack and tells you to get moving.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Already on it, thanks!

http://i53.tinypic.com/nc1bgm.jpg

Welcome to the werewolf warrens! Our goal is on the right side, there's a door there that leads to the boat the werewolves have made. Our current task is to make it there alive. A task which would be difficult because of the fact that there are small groups of werewolves already down here...

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg But I gave Minsc that pendant and that sword, so I get to watch him mow through them like a hot knife through butter.

http://i51.tinypic.com/2q9b2gx.jpg

Of course, nothing in life is easy.

http://i55.tinypic.com/33bgwva.jpg

Meet the Loup Garoup. Also known as the Big Bad Wolf. This werewolf is immune to most things. The only way you have a chance of hitting her is with a +3...or is it a +4? Anyways. Minsc is our only real powerhouse in this fight. Imoen uses her flaming arrows, Jaheria and Kahleid try to hit her in order to distract her, but all they do is tickle her. Mary begins adding to the fire with a flame arrow, but it is Dynaheir who pulls through with a haste spell for the troops. This makes our turns come MUCH faster and in this case, actually wins the battle for us! Taking advantage of a quirk in the game, right after we beat this girl, we board her ship...

http://i55.tinypic.com/21cxa9k.jpg

...See a cutscene...

http://i54.tinypic.com/2a8p89x.jpg

http://i55.tinypic.com/8xitj6.jpg

...Get told the guy we were contracted by is in fact the missing leader of the pack...

http://i51.tinypic.com/14xid7a.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/2dcgadf.jpg

...Go in and confront him and his servant about this...

http://i54.tinypic.com/1jrzit.jpg

...Find out that they too are Loup Garoup, and kill them, all without the haste spell wearing off. Travel to and from the island is technically instantaneous, and conversations take up zero time as well!

http://i55.tinypic.com/25jxpqe.jpg

Plus we find this pretty bauble. Not better than what we have, so it'll get sold soonish. The log book of Balduran also sells for a pretty penny. Nothing else from the island that was plot-related does, though, and the butter knife is in fact worthless.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Is the nightmare over?

Actually, yes. Since the chieftains - the progenitors of the lycanthropy curse - are dead by your hands, the curse has been lifted upon you.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Oh thank the gods!

But if you get the urge to scratch behind your ear, do let me know.

Next time in this thread on the next page: MY personal hell. And what's this about a contest?...

[mauve]

Woo updates! :dance:

[Ravashak]

*snif* poor (were)wolves

[Grimpond]

hooraaaaaaaaaaay

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Interesting application of Deus Ex Mac-ina

[Flarecobra]

...Why do I see someone acting a little... doggy every now and then as part of a humor thing?

[Grimpond]

IT'S A NEW PAGE THADIUS WHAT THE HELL MAN

[Shyria Dracnoir]

QUIET PEON *hits Grimpond with beatin' stick* Traversing one's personal hell isn't puppy dogs and blowjobs, after all.

[Thadius]

I will be doing Durlag's Tor in multiple short updates because I cannot bring myself to spend any more time in it than absolutely necessary to finish off one floor. Multiple floors in one day is just too much to ask of me. Anywho, let's clear out the last floor without horrible death on it!

http://i55.tinypic.com/21ber8.jpg

http://i52.tinypic.com/177c4p.jpg

http://i53.tinypic.com/zo7w4j.jpg

It appears we've found the only smart man of the last adventuring party to come down here. Ah well, let the pain begin.

http://i56.tinypic.com/29xccw6.jpg

Welcome to level one of Durlag's Tor! I'm not going to bother putting up specific screenshots except for the notable things. Just assume every square inch is trapped and if you so much as sneeze you'll set something off. Which posed an interesting dilemma for Imoen: was something trapped or not? Will you live if you open it? (hint: sometimes she didn't!)

http://i55.tinypic.com/11kedyc.jpg

http://i52.tinypic.com/2uesa4g.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/rk362o.jpg

http://i56.tinypic.com/2eprqix.jpg

Ah, the warders. These guys and their riddles tripped me up so many times. And you'll see why soon! The riddles themselves are not that bad, once you find the components. It's the whole 'doing the riddle' bit that tends to be...annoying.

http://i56.tinypic.com/2wfvnkn.jpg

The library on the western side has tales of Durlag's exploits.

http://i56.tinypic.com/242y3ic.jpg

http://i55.tinypic.com/20rwtar.jpg

Reading all of them...

http://i56.tinypic.com/ibhndc.jpg

Solves one of the riddles! :dance: 1/4

http://i55.tinypic.com/2a642dt.jpg

This is something of note for one reason: That trap there? Fireball trap. Might have other effects too, but the fireball is the important bit. It's also completely incapable of being disarmed. I don't blame Imoen for this one, even on an optimally built thief, you cannot disarm that trap. Durlag was serious about protecting his bedroom.

http://i55.tinypic.com/t0redc.jpg

http://i56.tinypic.com/11jm0ap.jpg

This has the same armor class as what Jaheria has on right now, but for some reason it is slightly better than the Ankheg stuff. Go figure. Kahlid gets the upgrade, once again becoming impossible to hit. Another thing we find in Durlag's room is a bunch of grapes. That could be useful...

http://i56.tinypic.com/takluh.jpg

I can only assume due to the money everywhere and the proximity of this room to Durlag's pad that this is his own personal stash. Can't fault the guy, really. In one of the piles of loot, we find a Lapus Lazuli gem. :dance: 2/4

http://i55.tinypic.com/2i6gaxy.jpg

Oh. We also found the key to Durlag's strongbox, which had a lever in it. We fix up this machine while looking for more riddles. Getting closer...

http://i54.tinypic.com/1zluk4n.jpg

In another room, we find a mallet head. It took me a minute to remember where the handle was, but when I found it I brought Minsc over here to get the mallet fixed up. Very close now...

http://i55.tinypic.com/10eq7lt.jpg

I send Minsc over to use the mallet when he runs into GRADE A BULLSHIT. EVERY monster in this place can respawn except the skeletons or the flesh golems. Not watching the spider room? Too bad! Phase spider up in your face now!

Fortunately he put these zombies down for the third time with no trouble.

http://i52.tinypic.com/t53l1l.jpg

Striking the gong causes a chill to run up our spine because we know we should have heard something, but didn't. :dance: 3/4

http://i56.tinypic.com/2hodziv.jpg

Because we fixed that earlier engine, the wine-press works now. Using our grapes, we make some lovely red wine. :dance: 4/4!

http://i52.tinypic.com/2hrg6mq.jpg

http://i56.tinypic.com/28bs2oj.jpg

http://i54.tinypic.com/mww4uu.jpg

http://i55.tinypic.com/2dtzlnr.jpg

After you turn in all the answers to the warders, they attack you. Let me repeat that. Four warders, two of which are made of one of Durlag's sins, ATTACK YOU. Fear isn't so bad. He's sort of a blurred, slightly-faster doppleganger. Avarice is painful, he releases a cloudkill upon sighting you, and can turn invisible at will. Love is easy if you get rid of his protective shield, can take a Skull Trap to the face, and can resist being Dire Charmed. The murderer is Pride. The first thing he does is Draw Upon Holy Might, and I think he has a Haste effect. So what do you do?

You send in someone who can turn invisible to turn in the rewards, then you make them turn invisible. After which, you trigger Avarice. His cloudkill will make Pride attack him. Yes, you read that right, they will attack each other, but only if you're not there, so you need multiple instances of invisibility. Pride will attack Avarice for no effect, while Avarice can plink away at Pride until all his health is gone. Wait for the cloudkill effect to wear off, then get Fear to follow you back up to the rest of your party, where he can be murdered. Do the same for Avarice once you put Fear down, but be warned, he will turn invisible once every other round or so, after which he will backstab someone for double his usual damage. Then just bum-rush Love and win!

http://i51.tinypic.com/2utjn89.jpg

I make it sound easy. It isn't. Getting this screenshot was the hard part. Next time we explore the next circle of my personal hell. But wait, I promised you lot a contest. It is as follows:

ATTENTION ALL MINECRAFTIANS. ATTENTION ALL DWARF-FORTRESS PLAYERS. THE CONTEST IS FOR YOU.

Whoever can make the most accurate reproduction of Durlags Tor in either game will win a prize. I will not favor one game over another, though if you do it in Minecraft, I may need you to make a video of it since I am sadly crippled by my incapability to play it. Monsters are not needed in your reproduction, though they will add bonus points. What I am looking for:

- Lava
- Mechanisms eerily similar to the things I will encounter/have encountered
- General shape and color of Tor, both above- and below-ground.

What is that prize? Well, let's see...

1st place: When book two starts, and yes, I have resigned myself to doing book two, the winner of first place will determine the order of things in the first few chapters. This also means I might hate you more if you tell me to do things in a way I do not appreciate, but then again, that's something you're all used to by now anyways.

2nd place: Will determine some of the more interesting moral choices towards the middle of book two.

3rd place: Will determine the order we do things in book 2.5 And yes, there is a choice factor in there.

You have until I begin book two properly. Which at this rate, might only two, three weeks. Though knowing this Tor like I do, might be MONTHS.

LET US BEGIN!

[Grimpond]

bumpity bump bump bump

[Flarecobra]

Not much to be said here.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Hopefully he hasn't gotten himself eaten yet.

[tacticslion]

...since you've been gone... away...

*In case you didn't know, this is a lie.

[Thadius]

Pfft. My traditional rule of new page = new update is still in effect, even for this hellhole.

In all seriousness, update Wednesday. Probably. Barring an act of Murphy and all.

[Flarecobra]

That is true I guess...

So I guess a "==>" is in order?

[tacticslion]

That is true I guess...

So I guess a "==>" is in order?

Whelp, here's my contribution. To be honest this very thread is the reason I had to cut my screen views down to only 5 posts per page (seriously, my video-card is a hand-me-down vast improvement over what came with the comp, but we often need a fan - the kind you plug into the wall with on a stand and all that - just to keep it cool enough to keep running for most games; the old card'd just quit on us), so I can't really see what you guys can.

I've got a meta-game question, though: what happens if you choose option number three (the one that simply accepts the lycanthrope as "okay, it sucks, but whatever")? Does the game just end? Do they attack you anyway? What happens? That said, I think the direction you took it was fine - and in-character. I was just curious.

[Thadius]

Ah. I can answer that. By joining the pack willingly, the leader decides you will have a place of honor. Not a wise choice, though. See, you're an 'outsider,' so the person standing next to the pack leader? He gets angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry and raises the alarm.

[tacticslion]

Ah. I can answer that. By joining the pack willingly, the leader decides you will have a place of honor. Not a wise choice, though. See, you're an 'outsider,' so the person standing next to the pack leader? He gets angry. You wouldn't like him when he's angry and raises the alarm.

(What a jerk.)

Wow! Thanks for letting me know! That was bugging me.

ALSO - I would like to take this time to tell you how much we appreciate your work on this LP!

AND... hey, whoever wins the competition*: make the good choices so Thadeus doesn't hate us and enjoys the next LP!

*Not me, as I play neither of those games

[Thadius]

No! I'm not going back! You can't MAKE me go back in there!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg The people want to see the next level, as do I!

I don't care! I HATE this floor with a passion! I loathe it utterly! I despise this level and everything it stands for!

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg I've already proven I can hit you with a magic missile. Don't MAKE me grab you by the ear and drag you in here!

Okay, okay, fine. But if I have to suffer, so does everyone else.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg ...I'm suddenly regretting my last action and not making out a will.

http://i55.tinypic.com/107nuq0.jpg

On a dark desert plain, cool wind in my hair,
Warm smell of monsters, rising up through the air,
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light,
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim,
I had to stop for the night.
There he stood in the doorway;
I heard the tour guide's spiel,
And I was thinking to myself,

http://i55.tinypic.com/30j5t2a.jpg

’This could be heaven...

http://i56.tinypic.com/mii63t.jpg

...or...

http://i55.tinypic.com/2yw8qzc.jpg

this could be hell.’

http://i54.tinypic.com/2a65py0.jpg

Then he lit up a candle, and he showed me the way,

http://i56.tinypic.com/n6vp0h.jpg

There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the tower of Durlag,
Such a grisly place,
Such a grisly place,
Such a lovely face.
Plenty of room at the tower of Durlag,
Any time of year, you can find it here.

http://i53.tinypic.com/wtbytg.jpg

His mind is terror-twisted, he got the horror-filled bends,

http://i55.tinypic.com/rjo9kn.jpg

He got a lot of pretty, pretty coins, that he calls friends.

http://i52.tinypic.com/sdfnly.jpg

How they dance in the treasury, sweet summer sweat.
Some dance into your pockets, some stay to forget.
So I called up the chieftain,

http://i56.tinypic.com/30j3343.jpg

’Please bring me my wine.’
He said, ’We haven’t had that spirit here since nine sixty nine.’

http://i52.tinypic.com/205xp1w.jpg

And still those voices are calling from far away,

http://i55.tinypic.com/34e7wv7.jpg

Wake you up in the middle of the night,
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the tower of Durlag,
Such a grisly place,
Such a grisly place,
Such a lovely face.
They livin’ it up at the tower of Durlag,
What a nice surprise, bring your allies.

http://i52.tinypic.com/23tb0l.jpg

Creepy carpets on the stone floor,
The doppleganger's eyes,

http://i55.tinypic.com/2z9f701.jpg

And he said ’We are all just prisoners here, of our own device.’

http://i54.tinypic.com/2a8gjfl.jpg

And in the master’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast.

http://i56.tinypic.com/kf36ts.jpg

They stab it with their steely knives,

http://i54.tinypic.com/2djoqcj.jpg

But they just can’t kill the beast!

http://i52.tinypic.com/ztu9tf.jpg

Last thing I remember, I was,
Running for the door.
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before.

http://i51.tinypic.com/2nl49e1.jpg

’Relax,’ said the doom guard,
'We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!'

[Flarecobra]

Not much to say here. Again.

Not even witty commentary.

==>

[tacticslion]

We love you Thadeus,...
... oh yes we do!
We love you Thadeus,...
... even with bad tunes!
We love you Thadeus,...
... so very much...!
We love you Thadeus,...
... so thanks and such!

Also, remember kids, vote "==>"!
We believe in "==>"!

[Grimpond]

==>

[Loyal]

Continue.

[tacticslion]

We like "==>", yes we do!
We like "==>", how 'bout you?
We like "==>", see it through!
We like "==>", and we vote you!

Woo!
(seriously, like "==>")

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Anyone taking bets on what the next song will be?

[tacticslion]

Anyone taking bets on what the next song will be?

Excatly what it says in the title (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin).

[Thadius]

All right, time for the next floor.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Hold up a minute. Sign this first, will you?

Lemme see that. 'I, the undersigned, do hereby agree that for the duration the party of one Mary Worth does remain within Durlag's Tower, I will not sing.' Was it really THAT bad?

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg All that and more.

Okay, fair enough. I hadn't planned on singing anymore anyways.

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg ...I don't trust you.

And with good reason!

http://i54.tinypic.com/2emerk1.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/149pfn.jpg Okay so the map doesn't look too bad, but what is that...You didn't.

Hey I planned to get around this even before you implemented it. I'm not singing. Your companions, on the other hand...

http://i54.tinypic.com/6gd5k2.jpg

http://i45.tinypic.com/im1mp0.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
It's about time I get my way.
Gibbin' whatever I see,
*Splortch* Deadly lil' me.

http://i56.tinypic.com/v809jk.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
If you take it personal, that's ok.
Watch, this is so fun to see,
*Twang* Deadly lil' me.

http://i55.tinypic.com/rbjxg7.jpg
If you're wondering what's going on here, don't worry, I'll get back to you on that.

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m7wynd.jpg Why ask why, better yet, why not?
Why are you marking X on that rod?
Why use Burning Hands, isn't that hot?
Why use a +2, is that all you got?
Why do you like seeing people in shock?
But my question for you is why not?
Why go to the back and bide my time?
Just use a Flame Rod and then move this line!

http://i53.tinypic.com/a43fq.jpg
Same deal here, just be patient.

http://i48.tinypic.com/rtncqw.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
It's about time I get my way.
Gibbin' whatever I see,
*Kazap* Deadly lil' me.

http://i51.tinypic.com/2moxwtz.jpg

http://i49.tinypic.com/1zbb5e9.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
If you take it personal, that's ok.
Watch, this is so fun to see,
*Smite* Deadly lil' me.

http://i54.tinypic.com/1zc31b9.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg Why ask why this chest is locked?
Why disarm? Will it blow me apart?
Why does Durlag think that he's smart?
And does his Tor know that I know it's part?
Why did I have to go so far along?
Why do you think that I should be calm?
Why want the dagger, this loot's in my palm?
Is it crazy you think I've gone?

http://i53.tinypic.com/301git3.jpg

http://i45.tinypic.com/im1mp0.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
It's about time I get my way.
Gibbin' whatever I see,
*Splortch* Deadly lil' me.

http://i51.tinypic.com/2janfvp.jpg

http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
If you take it personal, that's ok.
Watch, this is so fun to see,
*Twang* Deadly lil' me.

http://i56.tinypic.com/20b1x7l.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m7wynd.jpg Excuse me if you will,
You look like you have time to kill.
Can you chill?

http://i54.tinypic.com/15p3hhc.jpg

http://i46.tinypic.com/2m7wynd.jpg Cause' Mary's got the missiles that'll make you fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall, fall.
To make you fall, fall, fall, fall.

http://i53.tinypic.com/24142ec.jpg

http://i48.tinypic.com/rtncqw.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
It's about time I get my way.
Gibbin' whatever I see,
*Kazap* Deadly lil' me.

http://i56.tinypic.com/15qrxiq.jpg

http://i49.tinypic.com/1zbb5e9.jpg I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
If you take it personal, that's ok.
Watch, this is so fun to see,
*Smite* Deadly lil' me.

http://i55.tinypic.com/11ieqz7.jpg

Deadly lil',
Deadly lil',
Deadly lil' me,

http://i52.tinypic.com/2pt2dzc.jpg

Deadly lil' me,
Deadly lil' me,
Deadly lil' me,
Deadly lil' me,
Deadly lil' me.

http://i56.tinypic.com/atnq10.jpg

http://i45.tinypic.com/im1mp0.jpg http://i48.tinypic.com/rtncqw.jpg http://i50.tinypic.com/21jdlw7.jpg http://i49.tinypic.com/1zbb5e9.jpg http://i46.tinypic.com/2m7wynd.jpg
I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
It's about time I get my way.
Gibbin' whatever I see,
*Splortch* Deadly lil' me.
I'm havin' a bad, bad day,
If you take it personal, that's ok.
Watch, this is so fun to see,
*Splat* Deadly lil' me.

So like I promised, an explanation for the above pictures where Dynaheir is throwing fireballs right next to Kahlid. Kahlid's got both his rings of Fire Resistance on, and they stack, but that's not all. Jaheira has gone around with a spell of Resist Fire memorized for most of the game, and all those effects add up to Kahlid actually HEALING from the flames. Remember when I kept saying Kahlid was an elemental resistance monster? I was preparing him for these rooms. MY PLANS ARE THAT FAR REACHING. Won't turn him off of that mode either. There's...fun to be had yet.

Also, yes, that is a +3 two handed sword. Minsc claimed it and is now the primary damage dealing member of the group. It's the Minscinator 2000! It slices, it dices, it kicks evil buttocks! Yes! It Minscs!

[Loyal]

I don't recognize the song. Enjoyable anyway, since I get to imagine Mary's reactions.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

So, is that city-block sized beastie skeleton up there going to come into play at any point?

[Thadius]

Nope. Shame, too. Could have been a dracolich or something, but no. It just hangs there as a trophy.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

http://i303.photobucket.com/albums/nn123/melly_mel_album/strangelove_avatar.jpg

[Grimpond]

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