Yes! Hell YES! HELL! FUCKING! YES! DUKE NUKEM FOREVER

[Doc ock rokc]

This time He is really out of gum. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-b78TKZIyw)
March 3rd.

[Aerozord]

I am so jaded that I'd see this thing on Steam and still wonder if it was just a hoax

[Krylo]

That is exactly as over the top, self-referential, and self-aware as I would hope a new Duke would be.

Color me pleasantly surprised.

[Flarecobra]

I'm not beleving it until I see the things in stores. Even then, I'll ask them to open it and make sure that it's the actual game.

[Azisien]

Yeah you know what...I played the original so much as a kid I pretty much owe it to them to support the actual, real, actual, physical, real, release of this game.

[Kyanbu The Legend]

It's so manly, I think I grew more chest hairs just watching it.

[phil_]

"Was the game any good?"

"Yeah, but after twelve f**king years, it should be."

Marvelous. Smashing. I won't buy it because I don't have a real computer and suck at FPS. It's still awesome.

[Token]

"I'd still hit it."
Invaders Must Die.
That Dialog.

Is... Is this what love feels like?

[Kyanbu The Legend]

"I'd still hit it."
Invaders Must Die.
That Dialog.

Is... Is this what love feels like?

Yes Token, yes it is. Embrace it, and never let go.

[Seil]

Eh, looks good. However, the best released Duke Nukem game is still:

http://dosomegames.com/Images/Screenshots/DukeIIa.png

[Yrcrazypa]

Hell yeah, someone else that still remembers those games! They were one of the reasons I always looked forward to going to my grandparents house when I was a kid. The original Duke Nukem games were kickass.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Wait, you guys didn't already know this was finally being released already? We knew about this months ago.

Doesn't look that great to me really. When your first official trailer for a game focuses on a guy pissing for several minutes followed by drawing dicks on a virtual whiteboard, it kinda sets the tone and it's not one that really does anything for me.

Bulletstorm still looks much better than this.

[Krylo]

Doesn't look that great to me really. When your first official trailer for a game focuses on a guy pissing for several minutes followed by drawing dicks on a virtual whiteboard, it kinda sets the tone and it's not one that really does anything for me.

So... I'm guessing you never played any of the older Duke Nukems?

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Yes, and I very much enjoyed Time to Kill and 3d (what I can remember of it). This just doesn't interest me though.

[Flarecobra]

Bringing this back, since it HAS BEEN RELEASED ON STEAM.

http://store.steampowered.com/app/57900/

Has anyone played it yet?

[Kim]

Every review I've seen for the game says the gameplay is utter shit in every way, the graphics are ass, and the humor just doesn't work.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

That only makes me want to play it more.

[Flarecobra]

I'd argue that it's more mixed than anything. (http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/duke-nukem-forever/user-reviews)

[stefan]

not to be THAT GUY, but I really have to wonder how many of the bad reviews are legitimate complaints (of which I'm sure there are a few) and how many are just posts by people who wanted to be The Very First Person to shit all over Duke Nukem Forever in a petty desire to say "ha ha, you waited this long for nothing!"

[Aerozord]

I'd argue that it's more mixed than anything. (http://www.metacritic.com/game/pc/duke-nukem-forever/user-reviews)read an article that explained how metacritic is not a good indication of quality of something. Mostly because people only review something if they think its realy good or really bad, not to mention things that skew it such as...

not to be THAT GUY, but I really have to wonder how many of the bad reviews are legitimate complaints (of which I'm sure there are a few) and how many are just posts by people who wanted to be The Very First Person to shit all over Duke Nukem Forever in a petty desire to say "ha ha, you waited this long for nothing!"

that, and of course the fanboys that will say its great just because its Duke Nukem.

Still reading about its mechanics, my hope was that this game would stick to its roots but no, regenerating health, damage fog, cover based shooting. So Duke Nukem, a character that is an unstoppable death machine into someone that hides behind a table because a few stray shots hit him

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Nah that is just a measure to see whether you are man enough to play as the Duke or not. Staunch dudes won't use cover and don't need it. A regenerating health bar mocks your weak skills.

[Flarecobra]

that, and of course the fanboys that will say its great just because its Duke Nukem.


Isn't that true of all fanboys though?

[Kim]

Giant Bomb did a quick look (http://www.giantbomb.com/quick-look-duke-nukem-forever/17-4385/)

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Everything I hear about this game makes it sound shit. I am both non-surprised and pleased at this, it makes me feel validated in my original estimation.

I hope everyone who bought it feels cheated and ripped off.

[Flarecobra]

I'd just say "Rent it and see."

[Dracorion]

Am I the only one who was hoping this would just stay Schrodinger's videogame forever?

[Kerensky287]

I played the demo and it felt like a sad Halo ripoff.

Like, in Halo at least the weapons are satisfying.

(I later realized that I was not playing Duke Nukem Forever properly. The correct way to play Duke Nukem Forever is to turn off Duke Nukem Forever and play Borderlands instead.)

[Bells]

I have this game, right now in front of me...

Uhn.... yeah.

It's not bad... really not. Just don't go expecting the second coming of Christ.

15 minutes in (yeah, i counted) you get double Blowjob from Olsen Twins, Unlimited Peeing, Game-within-a-game reference, poking fun of Crysis, Field goaling a monster's eyeball, and this one part where there was this white board i could drawn on. A soldier asked me to improve their plan, i promptly drew a dick in it and then erased half of THEIR original plan... which then followed with the guy praising me like it was the best thing ever.

It's silly and imature as it is trying to be. don't even doubt that for a second...

It's also Short and Kinda average.

Worth a buy (it looks really nice and plays really well...) but i would not pay full price for this.

[Kerensky287]

i promptly drew a dick in it

I wish I could do a survey of people, force them to be seriously honest, and ask how many people DIDN'T do that when presented with the whiteboard. (I didn't but that was because I saw people doing that in the original PAX demo)

I'm pretty sure that it's part of human nature that the moment you have a drawing implement in your hand the first thing you will do is draw a dick.

[Bells]

Well, in my defense i WAS trying to get into the "duke nukem" mood, so it felt like the natural course of action

[Yrcrazypa]

The whiteboard part was the most fun part of the demo of DNF, if you ask me. The rest of it felt too much like Halo, which I'm not too big of a fan of. Also, why do they call his health "Ego" if hiding behind a rock regenerates it? They should have done the edgy thing, and made standing OUT of cover regenerate your health. Be a man! Take those bullets and show those alien bastards what they get for stealing our women, not hide like a sissy and take potshots at them.

[Aerozord]

think a better solution would be to make dealing damage heal you, or other Duke things, but then it would be a health meter and not a regenerating health like every FPS that sucks.

back on track, I do believe you can make a good Duke Nukem game still, sadly thanks to this, that will never happen

[Bells]

It's not really a bad game, it's just... Average. Comparing it to halo is actually pretty spot on. It's Halo sans good Multiplayer, AKA Average Shooter. But it's crushed by Self-Hype and being clustered to a niche audience (Mature Rating + Nostalgia), so it's like the game came to 100 feet race while feeling a bad cramp. It wouldn't win Gold anyway, but you can kinda understand why it never even made to the podium.

[Marc v4.0]

I dunno what you people are on about, this and Alice were the two most fun game purchases I have made this year so far.

Cover is for sissies and fat people, circle strafe all day erry day. Health packs are for girls, real men heal bullet wounds with the power of their balls. The balls on their testicles.


I mean, no shit it is Average. All the Duke Nukem shooters have been average! I didn't expect anything more then a Duke Nukem game, and I haven't been disappointed for a moment yet.

I hope everyone who bought it feels cheated and ripped off.

Yeah I hope things you buy make you feel like shit, too. Yeesh.

[Nikose Tyris]

:L

Game felt like it was... really reaching. A lot of the humor was lost on me, and I was actually more sickened by a lot of things- like the alien rape. The sounds there just... got to me in a bad way.

I can see that some people will enjoy it a lot, but in the end it wasn't my cup of tea.

[Viridis]

:L

Game felt like it was... really reaching. A lot of the humor was lost on me, and I was actually more sickened by a lot of things- like the alien rape. The sounds there just... got to me in a bad way.

I can see that some people will enjoy it a lot, but in the end it wasn't my cup of tea.I've seen a review that agrees with you (http://arstechnica.com/gaming/reviews/2011/06/duke-nukem-forever-review-barely-playable-unfunny-and-rampantly-offensive.ars) and really makes me think I wouldn't like this game.

[Kim]

Jim Sterling did a review of it that called that section of the game offensive and if Jim Fucking Sterling finds something offensive it probably is.

[Flarecobra]

Who's that?

[Kim]

Writer for Destructoid who can be really well written at times and incredibly tastless at others.

[Bells]

Who's that?

This asshole (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/jimquisition/3075-Videogames-Are-Not-Movies-Get-Over-It)

[Osterbaum]

Can we not turn this into a "discussion" about Jim Sterling. I'm more interested in Duke. As in, should I spend money on it? From what I've been heraing: no.

[Flarecobra]

From what I've been reading, it's a "Rent it and make your own judgement"

[Kim]

Apparently yesterday the PR firm for DNF was threatening people who gave the game bad review scores via Twitter. They've since apologized after 2K fired them.

[Osterbaum]

Must be a really good PR firm.

[Aerozord]

Apparently yesterday the PR firm for DNF was threatening people who gave the game bad review scores via Twitter. They've since apologized after 2K fired them.

can beat that, an actual reviewer was fired for giving Kane and Lynch a bad review

[Krylo]

Apparently yesterday the PR firm for DNF was threatening people who gave the game bad review scores via Twitter. They've since apologized after 2K fired them.2k just won some massive points in my book.

[Marc v4.0]

2k just won some massive points in my book.

Yeah, that's pretty balls.

[Kim]

Yeah, I pretty much hate DNF, but gotta give 2k respect where it's due. They're also doing some stuff for the upcoming XCOM game that makes me incredibly happy.

[Jagos]

Must be a really good PR firm.

He was the best until he has to apologize to each person individually for his own actions. Karma's a bitch.

[Bells]

Can we not turn this into a "discussion" about Jim Sterling. I'm more interested in Duke. As in, should I spend money on it? From what I've been heraing: no.

If you find it for sale, like 40% off or more, go for it. But it's totally a rental. You can beat this over a weekend and there is no real reason to go back for it unless you really love the multiplayer

[Kim]

2k just won some massive points in my book.

I feel sorry for @TheRednerGroup today. We are blacklisted by @2KGames and it seems to be standard practice.

We’ll continue to review 2K games if we think our audience is interested. We had to buy Duke to review it, will for BioShock etc.

So it seems less that 2K fired them for blacklisting people and more fired them for pulling this stuff in the open where everyone could see it.