Bulletstorm: or How I stopped caring and learned to love the (F) bomb

[Doc ock rokc]

There is games out there that are compelling masterstrokes of realism. That weave a plot about a man's struggles with war and strive to be the heroes everyone knows they can be...

This is not one of those games.
This is UT3 meets Painkiller with a dose of L4D and those crazy Tony Hawk games of the past. Every Five seconds without a death in this game means you're playing it WRONG. But dont speed though as you have to be creative earn skill points in the game. The battlefield is your canvas, your gun is the Freudian excuse for a brush, and your enemies are your Paint. Shoot a guy in the head? boring. Shoot a few guys into gibs with a minigun? Meh better. Shoot the skin off of the guy and the buddy behind him while kicking another buddy out of a airlock? OH YEAH BABY!
Every weapon in the game has a potential for cuelity that is unmatched. From the Humble bullet spitting skin ripping assult rifle to the Explosve bouncing cannonball launcher to Waggleton P. Tallylicker. Nothing is mundane nothing is underpowered!

So which one of you retards have played this game!

[Aldurin]

Probably going to get it.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Hey Dicktits!! I was about to join the multiplayer game you were in before but they you went offline! Uncool dude! I had to join a bunch of idiots who can't help but leash people all the damn time and can't figure out where the hell a cactus is supposed to be went the game tells them to impale somebody on a cactus. And then they had the nerve to tell ME to leave the game!

But yeah so far this game has been pretty awesome. Waggleton P. Tallylicker was an unexpected piece of excellence. Not sure I like the bouncer yet, took me ages to realise I had to hold fire to actually make it bounce. The 4 barrelled shotgun makes up for it though. Nothing quite beats sliding into a guy and unleashing 4 barrles of shotgun death into his chest at high speed (fire before you slide right into him for extra Cool Points).

I have 1 complaint though. Well no, 2; the game does glitch occasionaly. Sound has dropped out during cutscenes involving lots of gunplay (which is all of them really), and on a couple of occasions I have found myself holding 2 of the same gun, only one of them has no ammo. Re-equiping weapons then leaves me with 1 gun with no ammo and no charge shots, so I have to buy them all again.

But other than that, pure awesomeness. Oh and having a sniper with controllable explosive rounds is also Epic! My greatest feat so far; energy leashing a guy 20 feet into the air, then sniping him and directing the bullet (in flight!) into his nuts.

[Flarecobra]

And now Faux News is going "DERPDERP BULLETSTORM IS BAD FOR KIDS! (http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/02/08/bulletstorm-worst-game-kids/)

...Duh. It's NOT ment for kids at all!

[Shyria Dracnoir]

So, if we have a minimum age for a person to be elected to office, can we have a maximum value too? Same for newscasters; unless you give us a good reason otherwise, at a certain point we truck you out behind the shed and give you an Ol' Yeller sendoff. Probably more humane than letting these senile old farts embarrass themselves like this over and over.

[rpgdemon]

And now Faux News is going "DERPDERP BULLETSTORM IS BAD FOR KIDS! (http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/02/08/bulletstorm-worst-game-kids/)

...Duh. It's NOT ment for kids at all!

THAT IS NOT WITTY. YOU PRONOUNCE "FAUX" "FOE".

[Aldurin]

What are you talking about Shy?

[Azisien]

I found it pretty boring, gave up on Act 2. I did complete a few levels without firing a shot, but I...

I guess I found the characters really annoying.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I found it pretty boring, gave up on Act 2. I did complete a few levels without firing a shot, but I...

Erm, I think I found where you're going wrong. Seriously why would you do that? The game gives you cannonball guns, guns that wrap enemies in explosive chains and miniguns every 20 minutes, why would you NOT use guns?

[Azisien]

Erm, I think I found where you're going wrong. Seriously why would you do that? The game gives you cannonball guns, guns that wrap enemies in explosive chains and miniguns every 20 minutes, why would you NOT use guns?

Because I was having a lot of fun using the leash and kick to yo-yo enemies.

And I think I got a gatling gun once but aside from that, only had the default rifle up to Act 2 when I stopped.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Trust me, it gets better. Eventually you end up with more guns than you know what to do with and there are so many interesting ways to kill people.

Yeah the characters and the story can be annoying but who cares? If you bought it for story then you bought it for the wrong thing. This is a game is about sending multiple enemies skywards in slow motion, then taking pot shots at their arses and firing flares into them to send them even higher before watching them explode and then blasting everyone else with an incindiary shotgun before ripping off a gatling gun toting mini bosses' head with an energy whip!

[Azisien]

I didn't care so I stopped playing it. I suppose I just wasn't in the mood for a "I don't care" shooter, and if I was I'd probably rather play EDF 2017 anyways.

Luckily, I didn't buy it, I rented it for free, so everybody won.

[Marc v4.0]

I played a bit of the Demo and I have about a metric fuckmountain of mindless, for the lulz, shooters so this is just gonna be a solid pass for me.

[Doc ock rokc]

And now Faux News is going "DERPDERP BULLETSTORM IS BAD FOR KIDS! (http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2011/02/08/bulletstorm-worst-game-kids/)

...Duh. It's NOT ment for kids at all!

What I love is how they worded the Calafonia law like it went into effect. It passed but was deemed unconstitutional and thus void before going into effect so :dance:

Also Your Missing a good game Marc and azisen

[Marc v4.0]

Doubtful, Dragon Age 2 isn't out yet

[Doc ock rokc]

Doubtful, Dragon Age 2 isn't out yet

To each his own. I'll be enjoying a massive bloodshed shooting fest while you'll be enjoying a wonderfully written saga of epic proportions.

well...at least untill March 3rd when I can enjoy ANOTHER massive bloodshed shooting fest with a 12 year old trash talking Pop icon...or my rental is due back...

[Marc v4.0]

Yeah, like I said, I got enough names I can play already that are like that. Honestly, it is a neat concept and everything, but I tend to get a little OC about scoring and I quickly stop having fun in pursuit of scores. My dislike of my obsession rubs off on my view of the game a good deal.

Edit Side Note: Trying to get rank 50 in Halo 3 was a huge pain in the ass that escalated in me just dropping the game eventually, and I really prefer a "Winnder gets lots of points, losers get some points" system cause I always have more fun and my group always seems more focused on just having fun then winning.

[Doc ock rokc]

Yeah, like I said, I got enough names I can play already that are like that. Honestly, it is a neat concept and everything, but I tend to get a little OC about scoring and I quickly stop having fun in pursuit of scores. My dislike of my obsession rubs off on my view of the game a good deal.

Edit Side Note: Trying to get rank 50 in Halo 3 was a huge pain in the ass that escalated in me just dropping the game eventually, and I really prefer a "Winnder gets lots of points, losers get some points" system cause I always have more fun and my group always seems more focused on just having fun then winning.
Well In Multiplayer it's more of a competitive cooperative Dick waving contest. Its not only trying to get a High score for yourself but also Contribute the highest TEAM scores as well. This leads to a rather interesting multiplayer experience as Everyone is trying to beat everyone while also Working together to overcome the wave. It ends up most of the time with One guy that steals your kills often is the guy you have to team up with to get the bonus teamwork multiplier.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Well In Multiplayer it's more of a competitive cooperative Dick waving contest. Its not only trying to get a High score for yourself but also Contribute the highest TEAM scores as well. This leads to a rather interesting multiplayer experience as Everyone is trying to beat everyone while also Working together to overcome the wave. It ends up most of the time with One guy that steals your kills often is the guy you have to team up with to get the bonus teamwork multiplier.

Yeah, multiplayer is... interesting. People are clearly out for themselves, but then occasionally you get bouts of insane brilliance where everyone works together and you get massive co-ordinated kills going on. Though some people still haven't figure out how to do these team challenges. We'll have to have a game soon Doc, see if we can't show em how it's done.

Oh and what's you favourite weapon by the way? I can't decide if mine is the shotgun, or the flail gun. Shotgun is so easy to get skillshots with, and works ace when you slide, but the flail gun is just downright fun.

Oh and I've been pretty much kicking the arse out of Echo mode. 1 try, 3 stars on the first like, 8 challenges so far.

[Doc ock rokc]

Yeah, multiplayer is... interesting. People are clearly out for themselves, but then occasionally you get bouts of insane brilliance where everyone works together and you get massive co-ordinated kills going on. Though some people still haven't figure out how to do these team challenges. We'll have to have a game soon Doc, see if we can't show em how it's done.Yeah We will tonight after some of my calc (ill need to shut off my think sponge after that)

Oh and what's you favourite weapon by the way? I can't decide if mine is the shotgun, or the flail gun. Shotgun is so easy to get skillshots with, and works ace when you slide, but the flail gun is just downright fun.

Oh and I've been pretty much kicking the arse out of Echo mode. 1 try, 3 stars on the first like, 8 challenges so far.
In multiplayer I have been leaning on my Massive Penetratior! When Used as a team It can get MASSIVE points for everyone. and when used alone it can get MASSIVE points for you. It's compensation in a drill.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Yeah We will tonight after some of my calc (ill need to shut off my think sponge after that)

What's "tonight" for you? For me right now it's 11.30 pm, so I won't be back on tonight.

In multiplayer I have been leaning on my Massive Penetratior! When Used as a team It can get MASSIVE points for everyone. and when used alone it can get MASSIVE points for you. It's compensation in a drill.

Hmm, interesting. You know I think that's the 1 weapon I haven't used in multi so far. I'll have to give it a spin next time. Would be nice to just keep it charged and just slide tackle the SHIT out of people I suppose!