Booze: A review

[01d55]

So I can't fucking stand the taste of alcohol but I fucking love Egg Nog. So when my dad introduced Pennsylvania Dutch Egg Nog into the house I just had to learn whether my love of Nog was stronger than my distaste for alcohol.

The upshot is I had to dilute it with a whole lot of whole milk but I was willing to do it & drink the result even though the whole time I was wondering why I wasn't just drinking the regular Nog I'd just got. Consequently I was kind of drunk for the first time in my life.

My arms felt a little bit unnaturally heavy and I felt it behind my eyes. I also felt generally sedate. So I abandoned my plan to cook dinner (was able to communicate my plan to mom so that the vegetables I'd chopped up & uncooked sausage I'd defrosted wouldn't just sit out) and slept it off. Awoken by alarm - the one I set for 11:30PM to tell me to go to sleep. I tried to go back to bed after food & shower but here I am so you can tell it didn't work.

Overall I rate being drunk 2/5 would not drink again.

[Fifthfiend]

smoke weed every day

[synkr0nized]

It's not for everyone.
Try the above suggestion.

[Betty Elms]

Alcohol is the worst of the popular drugs. It's the legal one because the universe is cruel.

It always just feels like some tiny lumberjack going in my head and haphazardly hacking away at my cognitive facilities, which can be cool especially since some of those facilities are dicks, but I'd much rather have a tiny artist go in my head and resculpt them.

[Geminex]

smoke weed every day

But that's your answer to everything.

[Osterbaum]

Alcohol is great! And so is weed! Couldn't really tell you much about other drugs.

[Azisien]

I prefer weed to alcohol but alcohol is more accessible. And I dunno for me they both have drawbacks.

Alcohol has a tendency to KICK THINGS DOWN. These things may include: social barriers, shyness, balance, speaking ability, reasoning ability. The more you drink, the more alcohol kicks. Eventually, it'll kick your brainstem, liver, and then your life! Careful kids!

Weed has a tendency to SHUT THINGS OFF. Like my ability to leave the couch, or reply to what someone said, or my ability to not laugh at something. Weed acts a little differently than alcohol on me given increasing magnitudes. It'll keep shutting things off for a while. My motor skills don't get kicked down, but any impetus I had to use my motor skills is completely suppressed. Also, my head will get fuzzy enough that I can start picking out the voices of the individual planck goblins, and occasionally I slip into mirror universes. Man, that was some good shit.

[Osterbaum]

Weed also affects short term memory.

[Ecks]

Having done both:

1) Alcohol is okay. Not super awesome like people are led to believe, but it's alright. Inebriation, depending on your attitude during said inebriation, can be hilarious fun. It can also be agonizing pain for hours after you wake up in the morning.

2) Weed is also okay. Not super awesome like people are led to believe, but just okay. Being high is a sensation altogether different from being drunk, and is definitely entertaining depending on what you're doing while on the herb. No nasty aftereffects like hangovers later though. Also, the "munchies" thing is cliche. Sometimes you get em, sometimes you don't.

I have no experience with other drugs and have no plans to imbibe any anytime soon.

[Osterbaum]

Hangovers are great. Let's you know you've been drunk last night. Also if you keep drinking, you'll delay your hangover.

[Seil]

Man, I don't know where all'a y'all is comin' what with this hangover business. I dun get hangovers.

Maybe bein' drunk isn't your thing, but I've always maintained that if you're drinking to get drunk than you're doin' it wrong. Drunkeness is a side effect of the hooch, yeah, but taste should be the ultimate goal here.

[Seil]

My favorites right now are:

1884 Reservado Syrah (Wine)
Snapdragon (Wine)
Riley's Scotch Ale (Beer)
Granville Island Hefeweizen (Beer)
Glenlivet 8 Years (Whiskey)
Grant's Blended (Whiskey)

[BitVyper]

LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT RITUAL ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION IN ANCIENT MESOPOTAMIA!

Because I just wrote a big research paper on ritual consumption of alcohol in early states recently.

And by let me tell you, I mean let me show you this (kindasorta nsfw) picture. (http://www.matrifocus.com/SAM06/images/3_BEER.gif) We have found tons of tablets with that inscription. Apparently sucking beer out of a jar while some dude did you from behind was a thing.

Also the Mayans were probably doing pulque enemas.

[Nique]

Yeah I haven't had a hangover in pretty much ever. But I drink stuff without a ton of sulfites (like friggin' Smirnoff) and I drink water.

Alcohol gets a bad rep with some people becuase a lot of alcohol taste like nasty butt. They (completely obvious) key, in my experience, is to aim for top shelf stuff and work down from there, price wise.

Vodka - Grey Goose
Whiskey - Jameison
Tequila - Petrone
Flavored Drinks - Try 'Fireball Whiskey'. It's like drinking candy.

[Amake]

I got drunk quite a lot this summer, and it's boring now. You can get just as dizzy from standing up and spinning around, and making bold decisions because you know you're drunk enough to get away with them isn't as fun as actually being brave.

Why must it be so hard to get one's hands on any more interesting drugs.

[Nique]

Amake wants to get high... on life.

[Azisien]

And his first step is just being wrong as hell, because messed up equilibrium due to spinning and alcoholic intoxication are like, very not the same. Though I guess alcohol just affects you uniquely.

Maybe bein' drunk isn't your thing, but I've always maintained that if you're drinking to get drunk than you're doin' it wrong. Drunkeness is a side effect of the hooch, yeah, but taste should be the ultimate goal here.

To each their own but I am the polar opposite. If I am drinking it is generally to get tipsy/drunk and enjoy the various benefits of that state. Everything alcoholic tastes bad in my opinion, it is just a spectrum that varies extremely, from "funky fruit juice" to "pretty much water" to "ow my insides are burning." I weigh my drinks based on their bad taste-to-drunk factor ratio.

[Fifthfiend]

But that's your answer to everything.

tell me I'm wrong

[Fenris]

tell me I'm wrong

weed makes me really paranoid and then I get very anxious and start dwelling on how paranoid I am and it's just all sorts of not good

[shiney]

If it were legal you wouldn't need to be paranoid.

e: ALSO, TURNING YOU IN

[Aldurin]

I find it odd that I'm the only person among my coworkers who doesn't get stoned. Is this a quirk or some common cultural thing I'm missing out on?

[TDK]

Yes. Yes it is.

[Azisien]

I find it odd that I'm the only person among my coworkers who doesn't get stoned. Is this a quirk or some common cultural thing I'm missing out on?

I used to be like you, but then I got super high and it was awesome.

[pochercoaster]

Y'all are doing it wrong- drink and smoke weed at the same time. Also I don't get hungover either, but I usually eat a lot of food when I drink and my liver is pretty healthy too.

Edit: also I tried espresso flavoured Samuel Adams beer the other day and I don't care if you think I'm crazy but it was mad delicious. Also I like to cook with beer i.e. beer bread and beer french onion soup.

[Seil]

YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG!

[Satan's Onion]

You know what's tasty? A White Russian made with almond milk. Seriously, the Kahlua and almond milk go together with surprising tastiness.

Also tasty: Frangelico in hot cocoa. (I want to experiment with orange or some other fruit-based liqueur and cocoa, but I'll need to revisit the liquor store to do that.)

[Fifthfiend]

weed makes me really paranoid and then I get very anxious and start dwelling on how paranoid I am and it's just all sorts of not good

smoke weed every day

.

[Seil]

Three parts bourbon whiskey, two parts fresh lemon juice, one part sugar syrup, shake with ice, serve "on the rocks" and garnish with lemon slice.

[Nique]

Edit: also I tried espresso flavoured Samuel Adams beer the other day and I don't care if you think I'm crazy but it was mad delicious. Also I like to cook with beer i.e. beer bread and beer french onion soup.

The Sam Adams Cherry Wheat is pretty good as I recall.

Lagers are the best. I love Red Stripe, Sam Adams, and then there's a bunch of local brews I can't even remember that are good too.

[CABAL49]

Y'all

What gives you the right to use the words of my people!

Also got to be careful with that sometimes. I had some bad weed and shit went crazy. But you come from legal land, so not a problem.

My taste for whiskey is not as good as it used to be, but one of my favorite things to do in Germany is to go out for a few beers. German beer makes non-beer-drinkers drink beer.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Smoking weed every day has made my house smell like weed!

smoke weed every day

But it sme

smoke weed every day
smoke weed every day
smoke weed every day

Oh alright

[pochercoaster]

But you come from legal land, so not a problem.

?

Weed ain't legal in Canada, except for medical purposes. I still know people who've gone to jail over it. I just know how to avoid bein' one of those people.

And yes, I'm talkin' like a yank right now.

[Ryong]

I remember thinking everyone on NPF only drank alcohol.

Then Pocheros said something about weed on the chat.

And now weed is everywhere.

[CABAL49]

And yes, I'm talkin' like a yank right now.

Nonono, you see in the South, those people in the North East are yanke carpet-baggers. You were speaking like a Southerner.

[Osterbaum]

You're all yanks to me.

PS.
Weed.

[Odjn]

SO BASICALLY THIS IS HOW I DRINK

Why is this good? I have taught quite a few people how to drink and they receive few if any hangovers.

1. Don't drink shitty booze. No five dollar bottles of vodka. Would you pay five dollars to some crazy Russian for cheap prescription drugs for a heart condition in a back alley? I thought not.

2. Drink after eating. Always. Don't try to drink and eat, it's not the same.

3. When you drink, allow for 10-20 minutes before getting a refill for you to start feeling some of the effects of the liquor. More is better, actually.

4. Drink water with every drink. Tip for the first water, but not for refills. 1 serving of water= 1 serving of alcohol.

5. Be very, very careful with mixing liquors. For whatever reason this tends to make people sick more than just quantity.

6. Ask the bartender how much x and y is in your mixed drink or pay attention while he's mixing it. Example, some bartenders make 1 Long Island Iced Tea with 4 shots of hard liquor. Some mix it with 2 (half a shot for the 4 key ingredients.) Some martinis and cosmos have a lot of vodka, some have little.

7. If you feel ill, stop drinking. Get a cab or a ride. Don't drink alone in an unfamiliar location. Don't buy coke from dudes in the bathrooms (it's usually terrible quality, if not baking soda.) Do not pass out in the bathroom if you can help it, bad things will happen. Treat potential sex partners as if they were uglier than what you see, because they probably are.

8. Don't you dare puke on my shoes.

VODSKIS
Absolut
Snow Queen (kind of hard to find, fairly unique taste)
Stoli (good for cheap stuff, has a nasty burn.)

WHY SHOULD YOU DRINK THE DRINK OF RUSSIANS AND THE BEARS THAT LOVE THEM?

Vodka's good for efficient drink to drunkenness stuff and it has very little taste. A lot of vodka drinkers like the burn some of the cheaper brands have (I am a big fan of unchilled Stoli for this reason.)

Most pure vodkas are judged by what they're distilled with, Absolut for example has a hint of pepper among other things. This is different from infused vodkas which are technically gins. Don't drink Grey Goose- it's like modern art in that ninety percent of the people who drink it are doing to look cool. The quality is not worth the price tag. Crystal Skull is good, but again, not worth the price. Seriously wtf guys, just sell me your tasty booze.

RUMs:

Black Seal
Old Monk

WHY SHOULD YOU DRINK THE DRINK OF PIRATES? (a: pirates are awesome!)

Because it's so goddamn tasty. No Bacardi. NO. Also Capt Morgan is acceptable if no alternative but one of those two will get you drunk in style. Black Seal is a wonderful sipping rum. Old Monk is good too, but I prefer it in mixed drinks or shots.

Whiskey

Irish

Red Breast
Powers
Jameson

American

Maker's Mark
Wild Turkey

The Scottish Brews

Glenlivet 16 yr (younger is good but this really shines)
Laphroaig (for those who want to explore different tastes that aren't too expensive)

Be very careful with whiskey because goddamn there are a lot of shitty ones. I personally stick to Maker's because it is so goddamn good.

BRANDY: French or Belgian is generally good, stay away from big brands, find something you like because there are many. Enjoy the warmth you get from drinking a good one.

Cognac: Stay away from Remy/big brands. Kelt is a nice starter's brand, but beware, good cognac is very expensive (it only counts as cognac if it's from Cognac, France.) Everything else is only brandy.

?

Weed ain't legal in Canada, except for medical purposes. I still know people who've gone to jail over it. I just know how to avoid bein' one of those people.

And yes, I'm talkin' like a yank right now.

Hahaha you think that's what Americans sound like. I just spent a year in Tennessee you have no idea how terrible people sound.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Weed is for dudes who don't have a steady supply of cocaine.

[Odjn]

Cocaine doesn't last long enough to be truly enjoyable, that's why it's so expensive. A few puffs off a blunt, you're stoned for hours. A good line or two of coke would basically keep you going for like forty five minutes tops.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

If we are going for economic efficiency just like eat a hamburger. That'll keep you full for hours and be heaps cheaper.

[pochercoaster]

Hahaha you think that's what Americans sound like. I just spent a year in Tennessee you have no idea how terrible people sound.

I did it merely to humour Cabal because apparently canadians don't say y'all or ain't, a tendency I attribute to being a country bumpkin whilst growing up. >> Once a kid from Texas attended my elementary school in Ontario and I think we were all amazed at how he sounded. I'm well aware that's not how all Americans sound and I doubt I could even do a proper southern accent if I tried with all my might. I have yet to detect an accent among americans after living here for 3+ months, just a really annoying tendency to use the wrong words for things.

Edit: also FYI Canadians don't say eh or aboot, no idea how that stereotype started. Srsly.

[rpgdemon]

They do say "Sorey" though. "I'm sorey" means something COMPLETELY different than "I'm sorry."

[Betty Elms]

dmt > lsd > shrooms > ketamine > ecstasy > weed > cocaine > alkyl nitrites > salvia > alcohol > organic happiness attained through meaningful accomplishments and developments in life

general american > mothafuckin boston > southern > north-midwestern > midwestern

[phil_]

The Yanomamo called, they want their tiny ghost men back.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

dmt > lsd > shrooms > ketamine > ecstasy > weed > cocaine > alkyl nitrites > salvia > alcohol > organic happiness attained through meaningful accomplishments and developments in life



What the fuck is wrong with you.
E: Wait I've figured it out. Not enough coke.

[Ryong]

On the subject of booze:

Absinthe - man, I drank a few shots of this and all that happened is that I suddenly became more awake than I had ever been.
Arak - not really all that great, damn you Smarty for suggesting it.

Mostly, I drink vodka, either pure or with some lemon juice...Or equal parts vodka and coca cola. Cachaça (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cacha%C3%A7a), too, specially in the form of caipirinha. It's pretty great.

I gotta say, I'm not a fan of beer - taste doesn't really strike me as good and if I want to drink alcohol I'll get something stronger... Although I've had some good beer, not that I remember the brand.

[Red Mage Black]

As people on various chats can attest to, I'm plastered. What did I get messed up on? Well, I think it was brandy. Can't tell you the brand at the moment since I can't get a hold of the bottle. I'm a lightweight though, only had an 8oz. cup of it to get this way, but I feel so goddamn invincible right now. I wonder if this is how Seil feels when he posts? Either way, it's an awesome feeling dudes and dudettes.

[Seil]

I'm not saying I'm sauced, buy if I wasn't, I probably would've been wearing pants.

[Seil]

but I feel so goddamn invincible right now. I wonder if this is how Seil feels when he posts? Either way, it's an awesome feeling dudes and dudettes.

I like how drunk is the local flavor. Also Seil. I wouldn't recommend it. Seil tastes terrible. I'm not sure if that's a vampire joke or a sex joke or a Hannibal Lecter joke, but I've spent some of tonight riduculing Twilight so lets just assume it's a sex joke!

Also, Merry Christmas. I say that because while it seems that "drunk" is the local 'flavor,' I'm not always drunk. (SURPRISE! (I'm only usually drunk(SURPRISE)))

I always try to see the good, see the hope, peace and life and optimism and such and I think that makes me happy. I could be a cynic like Fift... most of you, or I could get drunk what with listening to Flogging Molly, and believe that there's a good side to everything. ...Or maybe that's just me as is. I dunno. All I know is that I'm filled with the Christmas spirit and I'm full of love for all.

Or maybe it's a sex joke. Either/or, Merry Christmas.