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View Full Version : Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be the Dovahkiin... DRAGONBORN! -- A Skyrim LP --


Revising Ocelot
01-02-2012, 11:12 PM
A few disclaimers before we start:

I've never played Skyrim or any other Elder Scrolls game before.
I'm pretty much going into this blind.

Thus, many decisions will be left to you guys. I trust in your ability to not steer me towards the nearest Giant looking to abuse the laws of physics.

The main character's thoughts will be defined with 'Blah blah', and his actual speech will be "Blah blah", for clarification. Second-person narration gets nothing at all. Yeah, I'm not good at writing.

Any additional notes will get spliced into here.










============================================










http://i.imgur.com/yYaeR.jpg


An individual wakes up in a cart heading down a snowy trail.


http://i.imgur.com/SQWzw.jpg


He is not sure exactly why he is in the cart. Or who he is. Or what he is. Or if he's actually a she.

It strikes this individual that they really don't know much of anything at all.
'That was some damn strong alcohol last night. Was it even alcohol? I vaguely remember some mentions about 'dragon piss', but that's all. Bunch of mammothshit anyway, because I'm quite sure that dragons don't exist, and that I had 68... er... pounds? Credits? Gold? Sestersii? Ugh, whatever. Feeling more sober than ever now, at any rate. May as well take stock of the situation.


http://i.imgur.com/ZcYda.jpg


'Man, you've got hair like a douchebag.'


http://i.imgur.com/yrDxh.jpg


'What border? Where the hell is this? Are you even listening to me?'
'...no you aren't, are you, because I'm not even saying anything. This whole 'drunken memory loss' issue is incredibly stupid, in more ways than one. For now, I'm just calling you Douchebag.'


http://i.imgur.com/Pb33X.jpg


'Your name shall be Douchbaggier.'


http://i.imgur.com/mQLRV.jpg


'At least this guy has a more legitimate reason for not saying anything, so he won't get renamed Ulfric Douchebaggiest. At least for now.'


http://i.imgur.com/VqUnv.jpg


'From the sound of things this cart caravan isn't going anywhere pleasant. Ugh - it's starting to feel like there's a fire up in the ol' cranium, which is clearly not related to the walrus piss I've been quaffing. It was walrus, right?'


http://i.imgur.com/4kUBd.jpg


'What a dump. Town of douchebags. The things I could do here... if I had any idea who or what I am. Blech.


http://i.imgur.com/o9CN1.jpg


The mysterious monologuer had a seriously bad feeling about this... or possibly a good feeling. It's kinda hard to tell. Let's just hope these douchebags feel what happens before s/he does.


http://i.imgur.com/mm1vs.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/n22pV.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/j8tz6.jpg


'Well, that... just about says it all, really. Don't feel like running anyway. Not on this bladder. It's like a pool party down there, except filled with flaming dragon piss. Wait, dragons? Why the hell are I thinking about such moronic flights of fancy, anyway? Wouldnt it be better to contemplating my life, the ups and downs, triumphs and regrets, victories and failures, and... oh yeah. Memory loss.'

Well, to hell with it. You're going to try to start fixing that.


http://i.imgur.com/NTw7e.jpg


Starting right now.


http://i.imgur.com/ygzVh.jpg





So, let's choose a race, gender, and maybe even facial features for our dragon-obsessed, hungover uncertainty.
Racial choices are:


Altmer - High Elves
Argonian - Lizard Freaks
Breton - Humans
Bosmer - Wood Elves
Dunmer - Dark Elves
Imperial - More Humans
Khajiit - Giant Cats
Nord - Even More Humans
Redguard - Humans, And More Of Them
Orsimer - Orcs

Gregness
01-02-2012, 11:23 PM
Think you can shrink the screenshots a touch? Some of us are still running 1024 x 768.

Anyway, Male Redguard

Arcanum
01-02-2012, 11:34 PM
Yeah re-sizing the screenshots would be awesome :)

Also, Orc, gender doesn't matter, and push all sliders to the right (or left, whichever direction floats your fancy)

Alternatively, Nord, and only use your fists. Like uhBiNx749Zw

Grimpond
01-02-2012, 11:39 PM
femkhajit

Krylo
01-02-2012, 11:44 PM
I would like to request the screenshots be larger. 1920x1200, preferably.

Also, Altmer. Gender doesn't matter, but you must be a member of the jackhole race.

Kerensky287
01-02-2012, 11:44 PM
femkhajit

.

Yumil
01-03-2012, 12:01 AM
I'll also say femkhajiit. Unarmed rocks at the early part of the game(though due to design it does not scale ever...thus will suck after a certain amount of time) and khajiit are the best at it.

Edit: on the video about unarmed, the damage gained from the perk is only based on the base armor rating of the gaunts, so no amount of improvement will increase the damage. Yes, Deaedric gaunts will give you the most damage with the unarmed enchants, but again, putting that amount of work into an actual weapon will be vastly superior(seriously, my bow is like 550 damage compared to the max damage of ~50 that unarmed can get).

Shyria Dracnoir
01-03-2012, 12:49 AM
I say go with Altmer woman with all the sliders jacked as far right as possible.

greed
01-03-2012, 02:15 AM
Male Imperial. Old.




femkhajit.I'll also say femkhajiit.

Damn furries.

Gregness
01-03-2012, 02:16 AM
I changed my mind. Roll a Nord and make him look like the http://thepunchlineismachismo.com/comics-archive/2010-02-22.jpg

Arcanum
01-03-2012, 02:36 AM
I say go with Altmer woman with all the sliders jacked as far right as possible.

My vote goes towards any suggestion that ends with all the sliders on a single end of the spectrum.

Krylo
01-03-2012, 02:51 AM
This isn't Oblivion and you guys are gonna be disappointed by that.

Aldurin
01-03-2012, 03:55 AM
Female Dunmer, or Altmer if votes swing more that way. You have to look like the most uptight psychotic bitch (just like every female Dunmer was in Oblivion).

Arcanum
01-03-2012, 04:10 AM
This isn't Oblivion and you guys are gonna be disappointed by that.

I know it's not that extreme. I do own the game after all. And it's not like we'll even see the character's face all that often. But it's the principal of the matter.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
01-03-2012, 06:19 AM
Not sure on race, depends on how you actually want to play it for a start. For sliders, slide them to the extreme end, alternating 1 side and then the other.

Ryong
01-03-2012, 07:01 AM
Damn furries.

Thankfully, no one voted for female argonian maid yet.

Female Altmer, you must be as psychotic as possible.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
01-03-2012, 07:14 AM
Pyschotic female Altmer was my character, I'd be more interested to see something different here.

Fuck it, go female Argonian, for the hilarity that will ensue.

CABAL49
01-03-2012, 07:34 AM
Heavy armor argonian. Only use fire breath.

Shyria Dracnoir
01-03-2012, 11:05 AM
Thankfully, no one voted for female argonian maid yet.

Fuck it, go female Argonian, for the hilarity that will ensue.

Way to make me feel weird for making a female Argonian on my own playthrough. Mind you, I play her as a deranged kleptomaniac that steals anything that isn't nailed down, stabs what's left and has a disturbing habit of ingesting foreign substances for the purpose of SCIENCE! You'd have to reach veeeeeeeery far to find that sexy.

Flarecobra
01-03-2012, 11:26 AM
Argonian female.

Marc v4.0
01-03-2012, 11:38 AM
Argonian anything.
Be the badass Lizard

Shyria Dracnoir
01-03-2012, 11:42 AM
Heavy armor argonian. Only use fire breath.

This, female as well.

Revising Ocelot
01-03-2012, 01:16 PM
http://i.imgur.com/NPFHG.jpg


Your reptilian brain fires up a few dusty synapses.
'Oh God. Gods? Whatever.'
A sudden momentary flashback and you remember that you're not a Glorious Master Nord of Skyrim, a HolierThanThou Altmer, or even one of those douchebag Khajiit furries.

You're an Argonian.
'A Godsdamned DRAGON.'

Oh sure, people may scoff when he tell them he's a dragon, but the evidence is all there. Scales. Fire breath. Wings. Treasure hoard.

Well, the fire tends to come from his hands than his mouth, and the wings haven't grown yet, but they're all Work-In-Progress. He also tends to keep his hoard stored in his seemingly-endless stomach, rather than the back of a cave, ready to regurgitate at a moment's notice. (He's not quite sure how that last one works, but he rolls with it)

That's what it means to be Dragonborn, yes?
Someone told you about the Dovahkiin a long time ago and you're completely convinced that you are, by all accounts, a dragon. Of course, the Lizard Freaks that look like you are obviously not dragons, and nobody in the world has seen a 'dragon' for years. They dispute your claims. You make counterarguments with drinking contests.

...seems like the last contest spun out of control just a little bit. You even started thinking dragons didn't exist.
'Well, I've got fire in my guts, and I'll show these Imperious Stormcapes to truly fear the name of... er...'



What was your name, again?

Doc ock rokc
01-03-2012, 01:24 PM
Bob

Marc v4.0
01-03-2012, 01:26 PM
Jeer-Amie

Gregness
01-03-2012, 01:35 PM
What was your name, again?


Name him Blinky. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7l5ZeVVoCA&ob=av3e)

Aldurin
01-03-2012, 01:37 PM
Nergil Bottomsworth

Melfice
01-03-2012, 02:13 PM
Dukaan-Unslaad.

Look that up. Seems appropriate enough, considering our "dragon's" drinking habits. (tip: UESP: Dragon language)

Flarecobra
01-03-2012, 02:19 PM
Actually, forget my last suggestion for a name.

Eingana


Named after a goddess of death. And if she dies, the world dies.

Shyria Dracnoir
01-03-2012, 02:19 PM
Tchar-Li-Cheen. With a slient T and a "ssh" sound for the 'Ch'

Grimpond
01-03-2012, 02:27 PM
Airyhs Rioncard

Ryong
01-03-2012, 05:04 PM
Lifts-Her-Tail (http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Lifts-Her-Tail) if female.

Blinky if male.

Flarecobra
01-03-2012, 05:20 PM
Lifts-Her-Tail (http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Lifts-Her-Tail) if female.

Blinky if male.

http://www.nerfnow.com/comic/image/655

Ryong
01-03-2012, 05:37 PM
That's the joke, yes.

mauve
01-03-2012, 07:09 PM
Slab Bulkhead
Stomp Chunkman
Big McLargeHuge
Blast Hardcheese
Punch Rockgroin
Dirk Har---okay I'l stop with the MST3K references.

Cuddles
Petunia (don't care if it's a male or female-- a flamethrowing lizardy murder machine named Petunia is fantastic and you know it.)
Burnie. Can be short for Burnard or Burnadette!

Revising Ocelot
01-03-2012, 08:19 PM
http://i.imgur.com/aDUEx.jpg


Bob was always such a terrible name. You prefer to go by the far more dignified and elegant Blinky. It reminded you of white horses and death, because you never could get names quite right in the first place.


http://i.imgur.com/gIUZ3.jpg


'Probably because I sneaked into the inn through the latrine - didn't like the looks of the Orc standing out front. He had a list, too.'


http://i.imgur.com/ykqBg.jpg


'Ah, decapitation. Well, no problem.'
You share a common heritage with lizards, so if you happen to lose your head you just grow a new head over time. It may affect your balance a bit, but it shouldn't be any worse than a few drinks.


http://i.imgur.com/PVo32.jpg


You're quite sure it's your head that regenerates.


http://i.imgur.com/Nz4Wh.jpg


'Ugh, dramatics. Really couldn't care who's King Thane of Whiterim or what anyone here did. I get caught out for being uninvited and getting completely smashed, they do a little bit of dismemberment to teach me a lesson and then I spend a week or so tottering around while my head regrows. No harm done to anyone.'


http://i.imgur.com/DAqfP.jpg


'See, this guy's got his priorities straight.'
If you weren't having so much trouble stringing together two coherent words at a time you'd have beaten him to the block.


http://i.imgur.com/Lywb1.jpg


You're quite sure that human heads regrow, too. Otherwise you wouldn't have bitten that one gal's head off in the inn when she said you weren't a dragon.
'Yeah, tell that to THESE teeth.'


http://i.imgur.com/F4VmM.jpg


'Ugh. Still got that dragon piss lurking down below. Once I'm done here, I'd better find a nice quiet bush somewhere. Exploded once before and the results weren't pretty... for the bystanders.'


http://i.imgur.com/uOC9c.jpg


Blinky remembers how to communicate like a normal lizardman.
"...I think you've got the wrong idea here, Douchebag. Or were you Douchebaggiest?"


http://i.imgur.com/B0vM3.jpg


There's some sort of howl resonating across the mountains. You think you heard one or two howls a bit earlier, but you put them down to your bladder being under immense strain. Normally, only you can hear when it's protesting.


http://i.imgur.com/XRhqE.jpg


"Gladly!"


http://i.imgur.com/WKh8j.jpg


This basket looks convenient, but there'd be a guy looking right at you. Dragons need their privacy, y'know.


http://i.imgur.com/uT7b6.jpg





http://i.imgur.com/do9Sk.jpg





http://i.imgur.com/ucBeI.jpg










'I see a fucking huge douchebag what the fuck'










http://i.imgur.com/ExZpD.jpg


'whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck'


http://i.imgur.com/gq8ik.jpg


'WHAT'


'THAT'S NO DRAGON'

Kerensky287
01-03-2012, 09:41 PM
THAT'S NO MOON

Aldurin
01-03-2012, 09:41 PM
THAT'S NO MOON

OR IS IT? Who the hell knows, we were pretty damn drunk beforehand.

Flarecobra
01-03-2012, 10:00 PM
It's your father! Quick, hide the porn!

Kerensky287
01-03-2012, 10:35 PM
It takes true dedication to bring porn to your own beheading.

Or a fiendish plot, of course. I can think of several where a porn stash might be useful.

Arcanum
01-03-2012, 10:57 PM
It takes true dedication to bring porn to your own beheading.

Or a fiendish plot, of course. I can think of several where a porn stash might be useful.

I'm failing to think of any scenario where a porn stash isn't useful.

Revising Ocelot
01-04-2012, 08:11 PM
http://i.imgur.com/0xHh8.jpg


The Clearly-Not-A-Dragon... says something?


http://i.imgur.com/6bZt8.jpg


And Blinky's world turns into fire and ash.


http://i.imgur.com/uRBrb.jpg


'This wouldn't be nearly so bad if it was me being responsible for the fire and ash.'


http://i.imgur.com/665Di.jpg


May as well follow the guy into the tower. You get the impression that staying outside is slightly more hazardous to your health than a beheading.


http://i.imgur.com/c9Flh.jpg


"I'm pretty sure they can burn down towers though. Hang on, why the hell are we cooped in here with only one exit? How are we supposed to avoid becoming Clearly-Not-A-Dragon fodder?"


http://i.imgur.com/UbIqc.jpg


"Yeah, and become even more obvious for Mr. Big Flappy Wings to do a Flyby Chomp on us? No thanks."


http://i.imgur.com/HtEQf.jpg


"OK FINE I'M GOING."
Rather more quietly to himself,
"Then I'm going straight back downstairs, so while it's focused on you I can e-"


http://i.imgur.com/rBP2I.jpg


"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"


http://i.imgur.com/yPtP7.jpg


"eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"


http://i.imgur.com/581Mk.jpg


"eeeeeeeeeeeeeoh. Oh good."
'Well, that's one problem solved at least.'


http://i.imgur.com/Dxidq.jpg


'Since the incredible weight between my legs has now become smeared all over my legs, I should be able to spread my wings and show that imposter how a real dragon flies.'


http://i.imgur.com/si4WJ.jpg


'Oh godsdamnit ow. Was hoping I'd grown some wings in the single minute between... er... gliding down here and that Clearly-Not-A-Dragon first appearing.'


http://i.imgur.com/JTnsr.jpg


'GO AWAY'


http://i.imgur.com/qnJZr.jpg


'Thank you. See, things go much smoother for everyone when they actually listen to me. Besides, this guy has more armour than that Blitzcape wotsit. He should be a better meat shield if Flappy Face decides to flambé us... at least for another half second.'


http://i.imgur.com/vTr8V.jpg


Ever the perpetual complainer,
"Oh godsdamnit what are you thinking we're not going to fight that thing. The claws! The teeth!"


http://i.imgur.com/3kJA7.jpg


'Staying well back. Gotta focus. Hnnnnnnnnnnrggh no they're still not growing.'


http://i.imgur.com/tMfu2.jpg


"OH COME ON. GO "YOL TOOR SHUL" SOME OTHER DOUCHEBAG. YOU SHOULD BE GRATEFUL TO ME FOR SHOWING YOU HOW TO BE A PROPER DRAGON YOU FAKEY NOT-DRAGON."


http://i.imgur.com/2jWg9.jpg


You casually check to see if Vadhar's also made a mess down his legs.
'If anyone asks, I'm marking my territory. SpikesAndScales is clearly invading my personal space, when he's already got lots and lots of sky he can fly around in and randomly torch.'


http://i.imgur.com/bPXFD.jpg


'If anyone owns my legs, it's me. Not even for those six months when that pointy-eared guy was whipping me for no reason while I squatted in his... my house. He couldn't even get my name right. It's 'Nergil', not 'Slave'. What kind of idiot can't get simple names right?'


http://i.imgur.com/nnXgV.jpg


'Yes! Keep firing arrows at Bob. Thank you for helping expedite my escape by sacrificing yourself to him. If WingsAndFlames is full from snacking on humans, he'll be too full to consider eating a tasty dragon like me, and thus will preserve my life.'


http://i.imgur.com/GCEfw.jpg


'That's assuming he doesn't have a bottomless stomach like me. He's doing a good job at impersonating a true dragon. He might be able to eat a hundred humans and still not be satisfied, just like me.'


http://i.imgur.com/P7AaM.jpg


'Eh? That isn't the plan, guys. I sneak out of here somewhere, while you stick yourself on skewers and do an enticing dance.'


http://i.imgur.com/BUbwU.jpg


'I really should get moving now.'


http://i.imgur.com/ElAqS.jpg


'I don't want El Douchebag Grande giving me flying lessons.'





Who will make the better meat shield for Blinky in case of impromptu barbecues within Helgen Keep?

synkr0nized
01-04-2012, 08:18 PM
You're switching between second- and first-person narration in a few places. It's awkward.

Revising Ocelot
01-04-2012, 08:26 PM
Well, Blinky's an awkward dragon, but yeah I'll try to define speech, thoughts and narration better. I'm not too experienced with this whole 'writing' shebang.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
01-04-2012, 08:28 PM
Yeah, I noticed that too. It's slightly akward to follow when you keep switching around who exactly "you" is reffering to.

As for the choice; Go with the armoured Imperial. I haven't seen anybody side with him yet at this point and I have serious doubts as to the bravery/combat skills of our character.

Flarecobra
01-04-2012, 08:32 PM
Ralof. He'd have more meat on him.

Arcanum
01-04-2012, 08:47 PM
Side with Hadvar because you can take almost everything from the blacksmith's place (including some steel and iron ingots) in Riverwood with no consequences.

Revising Ocelot
01-04-2012, 08:47 PM
I've done a bit of clarification in the posts, following a new note I've put in the OP. Any better?

Shyria Dracnoir
01-04-2012, 08:59 PM
Following Ralof does grant slightly better heavy armor as one of the guards you must kill is an Imperial Captain, which means you can pick up the Imperial Armor, which gives very helpful protection in the early part of the game. After continuing to Riverwood, Gerdur will give you her housekey.

If you side with Hadvar you are free to take the pile of iron and steel ingots which spawn next to the workbench outside the house, giving your character a better weapon from the start if you have steel smithing. You can also take some armor and weapons next to the grindstone.

I've personally always gone with the Imperial for the free smithing stuff (especially since I tend to play types that prefer light armor). Up to you though.

Shyria Dracnoir
01-04-2012, 09:23 PM
Also, when we get the chance, do this to someone. Anyone:

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/skyrim_is_very_serious__by_trufflefunk-d4hstmb.jpg

Grimpond
01-04-2012, 09:37 PM
While the imperial captain who ordered you onto the block is certainly a bitch, she is poorly representing the legion as a whole; A protective force that strives to bring peace to a nation.

Go with Hadvar.

Japan
01-04-2012, 11:02 PM
Hadvar is a pretty cool guy. Eh follows orders and doesn't afraid of anything.

Krylo
01-04-2012, 11:08 PM
Type: ~ then tcl then hit enter and then fly out of the city and give both of them the finger because fuck everyone.

synkr0nized
01-05-2012, 01:03 AM
Also I should note that I have no intentions of buying/playing this game, and I do like blind playthrough LPs for the potential comedy. So I think this may be fun.

Aldurin
01-05-2012, 03:00 AM
Go with Hadvar, at least he was respectful to you, and he shouldn't complain as much when you use him as a shield.

Revising Ocelot
01-05-2012, 12:33 PM
http://i.imgur.com/abRNt.jpg


Blinky remembers that the guy wearing actual armour can probably withstand incineration for an extra second or so, compared to that prisoner. Ralph?


http://i.imgur.com/2B7Gt.jpg


'Doesn't seem to be doing that guy much good though. Better get inside, at least El Pollo Grande will have to chow down on some brickwork before reaching the sweet chocolate center.'


http://i.imgur.com/WKomw.jpg


"Don't be ridiculous. That's not a dragon. Does that thing look anything like me?"
Hadvar looks unamused.
"I think those bindings are restricting the blood flow to your head. At least let me cut them off, so that you're not a sitting duck."
"Sitting dragon."
"Right. Dragon. And what is that stench?"
"Dragon piss."
"...you'd better change your clothes immediately."


http://i.imgur.com/VCHwJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/oAPbs.jpg


'A sword? Hm. I'll just take this along as well. I don't think the previous owner will mind, he's probably sailing through the air right now.'


http://i.imgur.com/P5Bc0.jpg


'Not really my style, but if anyone dares say that to me I'll regurgitate that sword. Bottomless stomachs are handy like that.'*


http://i.imgur.com/23uMo.jpg


'Voices up ahead... I'm guessing Davrah and Roland are coming to loggerheads. Luckily for them, I'm an expert negotiator.'


http://i.imgur.com/kx97w.jpg


'Expert.'


http://i.imgur.com/cVNzI.jpg


'I do like this new experimental technique, though. Maybe I should show Rolf when we catch up to him.'


http://i.imgur.com/N94lu.jpg


"Why are you licking your blade?", Hadvar furtively asks.
"Erm. Needs cleaning. Wouldn't want it getting rusty now."
"...right."


http://i.imgur.com/bRBAn.jpg


Ah. You were starting to think you were being neglected.
"Damn. Think El Pollo Diablo's looking for a toothpick now?"
"Try and stay focused, please? We need to get out of here."


http://i.imgur.com/ojcj4.jpg


"Oh. OH."
Blinky pays absolutely no attention to another fight breaking out behind him while he loots everything that's not nailed down.


http://i.imgur.com/JtC5t.jpg


Well, almost everything. Hadvar's holding his own in fights and you figure grabbing some snacks for later wouldn't go down too well, even if said snacks were just trying to kill him a minute ago.


http://i.imgur.com/wHkgF.jpg


Or maybe these Real Imps like to play with their food first?


http://i.imgur.com/tUbCM.jpg


Blinky's feeling a bit uncomfortable now. You're wearing the same uniform as these guys and you stabbed at least one other person in a different uniform. Is this going to have consequences? Could it threaten your budding friendship with Richard?


http://i.imgur.com/8Khd5.jpg


'...nah. If anyone asks it was the, and I quote, "Dragon" that made these stab marks. Not me. Nobody will believe a dragon could make sword wounds so I'll be quite safe.'


http://i.imgur.com/Pr1vB.jpg


'Another clothes change might be in order, though. There's blood all over these ones. And a little piss. Can't think how.'








======

*Yeah, I shoved in a console command to expand the inventory weight limit well beyond the standard 300. I really can't help hoarding. I literally found it impossible to play Fallout 3 without taking everything semi-valuable in sight.

On another note, the shadows look like ass in that last screenshot and a few other rejected ones, and I can't seem to fix that. Oh well.

Aldurin
01-05-2012, 01:59 PM
I'm cool with inventory expansion, since it is a pain in the ass to deal with (dear god when I dump all the unnecessary stuff I still have like 200 pounds of potions I don't want to be caught without).

You should take that robe (it looks cooler) and start breathing fire out of your face/hand.

Yumil
01-05-2012, 03:47 PM
You do get more inventory space the more points you put into stamina. You gain like 5 carry weight every point of stamina.

Arcanum
01-05-2012, 04:21 PM
But that means putting excessive points into stamina. Your other option is getting the pickpocketing perk for 100 bonus capacity and the Steed stone for another 100 bonus capacity. But those require putting perks into Pick Pocketing (waste of points imo) and not being able to use a more preferable Stone Blessing, respectively.

So I'm fine with the console majgicks

Yumil
01-05-2012, 05:17 PM
But that means putting excessive points into stamina. Your other option is getting the pickpocketing perk for 100 bonus capacity and the Steed stone for another 100 bonus capacity. But those require putting perks into Pick Pocketing (waste of points imo) and not being able to use a more preferable Stone Blessing, respectively.

So I'm fine with the console majgicks

Eh, it comes in handy when you want to carry all the books in the game at the same time. Yes, my character is extremely weird. Knowledge is power, and he has all the knowledge of Skyrim. Also, book forts.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
01-05-2012, 05:24 PM
The only book you really need to keep with you is Shadowmarks.

Japan
01-06-2012, 12:33 AM
I thought carrying capacity was just a direct product of level in Skyrim. I don't even remember there being a stamina statistic.

edit: oh wait, stamina ah. I had no idea there was a direct correlation there. Neato.

Grimpond
01-07-2012, 08:22 PM
The only book you really need to keep with you is Shadowmarks.

I was super excited when I accidently picked that up for my library

Revising Ocelot
01-08-2012, 09:22 PM
Not gonna update this for a few days as I hate myself too much to play games without committing acts of violence upon myself.

Revising Ocelot
02-12-2012, 05:39 PM
A few days turned out to a bit longer than expected. Probably will start updates again next Saturday.

Aldurin
02-12-2012, 05:57 PM
That's good to hear that you're starting this up again. I've missed Mr. Dragon-who's-totally-not-a-lizard.

CABAL49
02-12-2012, 07:44 PM
Me too. I totally did not make an Argonian under the same premise.

Revising Ocelot
02-17-2012, 09:44 PM
http://i.imgur.com/9edxf.jpg


It takes a -lot- of effort to fit a hood and robes around your maw. Too much effort. Feels like you've been down in this dungeon for weeks... or perhaps half an hour. Time management might be hard, but you were pretty sure that delectable guy in the shackles was alive when you started changing clothes.


http://i.imgur.com/c8LDh.jpg


'Urgh. Ate too much. Fire's coming from the wrong orifices.'


http://i.imgur.com/sbwCY.jpg


You only just sorted out your urine trouble and now you've got serious digestive problems. Dragons should only breathe lightning in trashy fiction!

The caged guys, possessing slightly more active brain cells than Blinky, argue in silence that it was actually the spell book Blinky ate.


http://i.imgur.com/dEXlF.jpg


It's pretty musty down here. Probably a high conductor of this zappy stuff. Blinky vows to try and not accidentally "breathe" too much, because getting fried in a cloud of electricity is not especially preferable to getting fried by a wall of fire.


http://i.imgur.com/HWfYB.jpg


"Hey! Sorry! Not my fault you're sitting in a water filled cavern! I've got... asthma problems!"


http://i.imgur.com/0Z5rT.jpg


"Oh for the love of..."


http://i.imgur.com/F2VVO.jpg


You're having a bit of trouble keeping what "breath" you want to use stable.
'Eh, it's the same fate as that angry Fishface would have given them. Speaking of which, where is he? Must be coming down the tunnels by now. Probably chowing down on the torturer this very second. Better hurry up.'


http://i.imgur.com/AZLYo.jpg


You think there's still a few people back there. Sucks to be them.


http://i.imgur.com/ouT30.jpg


'This doesn't look like the dungeon any more. Where the Oblivion are we going, anyway?'


http://i.imgur.com/CasyR.jpg


'...sucks to be us.'


http://i.imgur.com/3jse2.jpg


On the rare occasion where Blinky had a place of residence, he usually dealt with (much smaller) spiders in this same fashion. It was often the reason why Blinky didn't keep a house for very long.


http://i.imgur.com/cHu1l.jpg


"Yeah, thanks for jinxing us. You ever killed a close relative? It's heart-wrenching."
"I've had to kill other humans for the Imperial Legion frequently," Hadvar replied.
"It's my duty. And snakes aren't even close to Argonians. You've got... curious priorities, prisoner."
"Pft."


http://i.imgur.com/NC0TQ.jpg


"I'd rather not tangle with her right now. We can try to sneak by, or..."
"BEAR!"


http://i.imgur.com/Yr4mD.jpg


"BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR BEAR!"


http://i.imgur.com/ndfMC.jpg


Blinky spends a good 5 minutes alternately roasting and electrocuting the bear until even the ashes look embarrassed to still be hanging around.


http://i.imgur.com/DYJ0Z.jpg


Blinky really, really dislikes bears.

You don't even care that you're almost out of the cave. You've caught Bear Fever.


http://i.imgur.com/IUtL4.jpg


The sight of the dragon rouses Blinky from his delirium. Slightly.

"BEEEEEAAAAAR!"

The dragon doesn't even take note of the skyward scream. The damage has been done, and a few deranged individuals don't concern it. More important matters are at hand.


http://i.imgur.com/Cbl5d.jpg


"Don't care don't care don't care, there's bears there's bears there's bears."

Hadvar continues talking, not really heeding the details of the bear induced rant but nevertheless grinning with an amused look.


http://i.imgur.com/LY8LR.jpg


"Yes! We'd better get going. This is bear country. They could be anywhere."


http://i.imgur.com/hsRic.jpg


"And if the rebels have themselves a dragon - ahem, sorry, a "bear", General Tullius is the only one who can stop them."


http://i.imgur.com/i04N0.jpg


'Hm. Helgen's probably a dump now, and I don't really fancy walking to Falkreath alone amongst the bears. I'll just keep following Ravdah to Riverwood. Distractions are always useful.'


http://i.imgur.com/ncNh4.jpg


"Draugr creeping down the mountain to climb through my window at night, that kind of thing. I admit, I still don't like the look of it."
Blinky is unimpressed.
"I don't even know what draugr are, but they can't be any worse than what we've seen today. I'll probably find myself up there sometime since you mentioned it, anyway. Because you're a jinx, and all."
"Yeah, yeah..."


http://i.imgur.com/EryoM.jpg


Shaking off the bear fixation, Blinky ignores the stunning view to concentrate on these stones.


http://i.imgur.com/ZJXij.jpg


Blinky doesn't really have the energy to properly mark his territory, but keeping one of these stones in mind might be a good idea for surviving this desolate new country.


http://i.imgur.com/iCMi5.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/lVAam.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/5AdWI.jpg





Now would be a good time to suggest a career path for Blinky. What type of character build should he opt for? Sorcery, archery, swordery, backstabbery, or whatever else may suit him that won't totally gimp his ability to kill dragons, draugr, demons and bears.

Ramary
02-17-2012, 09:57 PM
Well he does not seem to be the sneaky type....

So let's go with sneaky type.

Aldurin
02-17-2012, 09:57 PM
I say sorcery, Blinky seems to be the type to have chronic "sneezing" issues. Or you could choose sneak so you could dabble in stealth sneezing.

CABAL49
02-17-2012, 10:49 PM
Who needs sneak when you have illusion?

Flarecobra
02-17-2012, 11:18 PM
Sorcery. Because you're a goddamn "dragon" baby! Why sneak when you can fry?

Thadius
02-17-2012, 11:35 PM
Whatever you choose, you have to take smithing as well and show off the perks of being able to make and improve your armor.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
02-18-2012, 06:09 AM
Well you've already started using magics, may as well continue. Plus it'll be funny once he's throwing around massive explosive fireballs.

Revising Ocelot
02-29-2012, 07:30 PM
http://i.imgur.com/PJT1v.jpg


The Mage Stone appears to make the shiniest lights, so Blinky gives it a few pokes until it stays lit.


http://i.imgur.com/74uU5.jpg


'Skyrim seems horrible. Blasted, wretched landscape. Don't even remember crossing the border. So far I've been falsely arrested for drunk and disorderly behaviour, incinerated a few dozen times, nearly crushed a few more dozen times, stabbed, bitten, and mauled by bears. And that's not even counting the stuff that happened at Helgen.'


http://i.imgur.com/fyyKO.jpg



'...yeah, a pardon for doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG. Stupid country. Can't wait to get back to Black Marsh. Now THAT's a decent swamp. Hopefully they've forgotten that thing with the... thingy that did the thing. Druidic Lord? Some kind of demon, anyway. Or a guy that looked like a demon.'


http://i.imgur.com/loQRA.jpg


'Skyrim's all... pine trees and mountain streams and snow. Disgusting. Absolute wasteland. Even Morrowind looks better than this, and that had a giant rock fall on top of it. And that exploding volcano probably scorched the area less than what the Flappy Beastie is probably going to achieve in the next few days.'


http://i.imgur.com/0e77V.jpg


'Best not stick around, at any rate. Morrowind, Hammerfell, even Cyrodiil are all probably better than here, and everyone in Cyrodiil has faces like... ugh. I better get some directions to the nearest border and skedaddle.'

"Things look quiet enough here. Come on, there's my uncle. Uncle Alvor, hello!"

'...or I can meet all the inbred family members of this dump. Great.'

"Hadvar! What are you doing here? Are you on leave from...


http://i.imgur.com/p8zpm.jpg


Blinky doesn't bother to listen to the small talk.


http://i.imgur.com/AHx47.jpg


"WELL DONE! THAT'S BECAUSE I WALKED PAST YOU A MINUTE AGO!"
'Inbreds.'


http://i.imgur.com/4A1mI.jpg


'Oh, for the love of...'
"NO YOU DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING. I'M THE ONLY DRAGON HERE. DON'T LISTEN TO THE CRAZY WOMAN SEEING IMAGINARY HORRIBLE ROARING MONSTERS, THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NONE AROUND HERE. HELGEN IS TOTALLY FINE.

Blinky ducks inside with Alvor and Hadvar. The townspeople are making funny looks. You hate it when that happens, although usually it takes a bit longer for the funny looks to start when you arrive somewhere new.


http://i.imgur.com/0VjuP.jpg


The is the absolute worst part of today, bar none. Time to space out and not listen.


http://i.imgur.com/W4MQH.jpg


Blinky isn't even hungry after someone mentions bears.


http://i.imgur.com/wSP4n.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/lUPsF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/aDPxp.jpg


You vaguely hear your name and "dragon" pop up a few times. Blahblahblah, you saved someone's life with your dragon breath from your hands. Dull.


http://i.imgur.com/57vi6.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/eW2eK.jpg


Vague mention of stabbing some Squallmantles. Joining the Legion? Warning Whiterun? Yeah, whatever. You're tired.


http://i.imgur.com/5lUJ0.jpg


What you could really use...


http://i.imgur.com/GGFQ5.jpg


'Oh for bear's sake why does that never work.'


http://i.imgur.com/RcBqw.jpg


Scratch that. What you could really use is a drink.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
02-29-2012, 08:07 PM
Is this the part where we all offer suggestions again? Because seeing as you're already going to the pub then the only suggestion I can make is Nord Mead (http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/miracle-of-sound/5350-Nord-Mead-Skyrim).

Lots and lots of it.

Thadius
02-29-2012, 08:34 PM
Nonono. You drink everything, then go out and accept the nearest quest.

Hopefully this will get you killed encourage Blinky to sober up fast.

Flarecobra
02-29-2012, 11:43 PM
Drink to prove that you're the best drinker in all the land.

Get in a fight.

Wake up in a roadside ditch with your new best friend.

Arcanum
03-01-2012, 12:08 AM
Travel to every tavern/inn/whatever in every city so you can find Sam Guevenne and get into a drinking contest with him.

e- oh wait he only shows up once you hit level 14. In that case do what Flare said.

Revising Ocelot
03-30-2012, 05:46 AM
Despite liberal application of a crowbar to my PC over the last fortnight, the latest patch isn't playing nicely with me. Even after an uninstall + reinstall. Seems to be issues with an ATI driver update. *sigh*

I -could- do a drunken update where everything is blacked out, because that's literally all I get. A black screen. But I had better plans.

Magni
03-30-2012, 08:48 AM
I had a similar problem. Try rolling back your driver. That worked for me.

Arcanum
04-02-2012, 04:52 PM
Despite liberal application of a crowbar to my PC over the last fortnight, the latest patch isn't playing nicely with me. Even after an uninstall + reinstall. Seems to be issues with an ATI driver update. *sigh*

I -could- do a drunken update where everything is blacked out, because that's literally all I get. A black screen. But I had better plans.

Is it http://cloud.steampowered.com/ugc/469738833193675725/985A0C4F81490981FD3286166093F95E52B74F16/

If it's that, then the quick fix is to turn off your anti-aliasing. Sure it might be lame to deal with some jaggies, but jaggies are better than flickering squares on every texture in the game.

But yeah it's definitely a problem with the latest driver update.

Revising Ocelot
04-08-2012, 04:13 PM
http://i.imgur.com/xzLu9.jpg


This has got to be the least crowded bar you've ever seen. Even after you start singing when you've had a dozen or so pints too many.


http://i.imgur.com/JXFUy.jpg


And here's the reason. Good Molag Bal this cacophony is worse than your singing. Impressive.


http://i.imgur.com/Edgiq.jpg


Years of listening to Sven's howling have sharpened this bar wench's features into...
'Blech.'


http://i.imgur.com/pROSc.jpg


"BLECH."
Nord Mead? That's the worst drink you've ever had. A bunch of insane Nords had offered it to you once on some island north of Morrowind. Couldn't even face getting drunk from quaffing it, making it a unique anomaly amongst all the hideous swill, gutter spillage and porcine stomach upsets you've had the displeasure of chugging.

Nope, that's it. No drinks, nobody to unsuccessfully seduce. This is the rancid cherry on the horrible cake of the day.


http://i.imgur.com/LuJuu.jpg


With nothing else to do, Blinky vents his frustrations on some innocent blocks of wood.


http://i.imgur.com/ysgV4.jpg


For the whole night. Sleep is for the tipsy, not the sober.


http://i.imgur.com/KhNkq.jpg


The local woodcutter mumbles something about honest work before staggering to the inn with a dazed expression.
'Hasn't he ever seen the work ethic of an Arg-Dragon before? It's his own fault his lumber mill only carried enough trees to last three Nords for a week. Lazy damn Nords.'


http://i.imgur.com/A2Gte.jpg


'May as well see what junk the shop has before I leave the country. The Jarl of Greywalk or whatever it is can handle his own damn... something. What was it again? Something that happened yesterday. Might have involved me... eh, probably not important. I gotta find the road back to Morrowind, wherever that is.'


http://i.imgur.com/Qx4Ym.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/zgUEq.jpg


The helmet looks... strangely enticing. Familiar, even. You would totally buy/steal/eat it if you had something appropriate to shout while striking a pose, but unfortunately you don't. The pains of sobriety.


http://i.imgur.com/8RzRl.jpg


'Bunch of swords... meh. Got some handy already. Don't need any more.'


http://i.imgur.com/nVBhB.jpg


'Bunch of clothes... nope, haven't urinated in my current stuff yet. Don't need new ones.'


http://i.imgur.com/J7ePn.jpg


'Amateur Necromancy for Dummies... bunch of make-believe horseshit. Useless store.'


http://i.imgur.com/BEgT3.jpg


Maybe he's got some better stuff lurking for "loyal" customers?


http://i.imgur.com/OP1Ze.jpg


Money works too. Two or three bandits will just flee in terror at the sight of a bona-fide mythical beast such as yourself. Easy job.


http://i.imgur.com/VvbYI.jpg


Winning the gratitude of the girl would be good too, if they actually looked half-decent in this backwater village. Geez. Some day you'll find out whether humans and you can work in that way. But not today.


http://i.imgur.com/xYHpw.jpg


"...wait, hiding out where?"


http://i.imgur.com/gIYsY.jpg


"...oh, THAT place."


http://i.imgur.com/a0zjs.jpg


'Do I really want to go trudging into an evil looking cave up a mountain? There could be bears. Maybe I'll just 'get lost' and walk the other way instead...'

Aldurin
04-08-2012, 04:42 PM
Bards are the justification of all of the murder in Skryim. The Dark Brotherhood is worth joining just to be paid to kill one.

Flarecobra
04-08-2012, 06:50 PM
Well, there was that one bard that could play the flute with his GODDAMN CHIN!

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
04-08-2012, 07:17 PM
Take Sven and introduce him to Boethia, that's what I did. Good times.^_^

Revising Ocelot
04-08-2012, 08:07 PM
Oh, I'd also like to know if I should spend time on this sidequest or look for the Morrowind road AKA continue with mainquest and go to Whiterun.

Thadius
04-08-2012, 08:49 PM
Do this quest, if only for the potential loot.

Which can then be sold so that you can take the first carriage out of this dump.

Arcanum
04-08-2012, 09:33 PM
You will end up going into that dungeon as part of the main quest in a short while, so you might as well do it now.

The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk
04-09-2012, 05:39 AM
Plus you get FUS, which will only reinforce his beleif that he is actually a dragon.

Revising Ocelot
04-14-2012, 07:34 PM
http://i.imgur.com/PBuGs.jpg


'Two deadly caves in two days is more than enough for me. I'm going back the other way. That Palesprint place can't be far...'


http://i.imgur.com/4kWJT.jpg


'...oh for the love of... that's MILES away. No way am I walking that far.'


http://i.imgur.com/Cs9Ag.jpg


'I can either walk miles upon miles and get mauled by whatever foul beasties and bears roam the wilds here, or I can take a leisurely stroll up to the cave of dragons and demons and, possibly, a bandit or two. Certain death either way, but at least this isn't quite so tiring.'


http://i.imgur.com/lCYCc.jpg


'Snowing up here? Maybe I will go back the other way... and then there'll be a rain of frogs. I hate this country.'


http://i.imgur.com/peBQu.jpg


'Least I can keep warm up here.'


http://i.imgur.com/o8T7o.jpg


'And keep others warm, too! For the rest of their lives, even. You're too generous, Blinky.'


http://i.imgur.com/4XWrx.jpg


'Awful lot of snow in the tower. Better make sure the inhabitants are OK.'


http://i.imgur.com/nYMFb.jpg


"I would have told you about stairs bro, but I'm too busy dodging your attempts to fall onto my head!"


http://i.imgur.com/NUcxO.jpg


Blinky levies a fee for violation of handrail conventions.


http://i.imgur.com/5PR9U.jpg


'Can't see a damn thing up here. My eyes are accustomed to peering through murky grey swamps, not fluffy bedsheet whiteness. Who decided this climate was a good idea?'


http://i.imgur.com/FyRbA.jpg


The barrow almost looks enticing at this point.


http://i.imgur.com/WhLFf.jpg


The local residents are just as unruly as the tower dwellers.
'Why must this country be so violent?'


http://i.imgur.com/dT3Xt.jpg


'And so much stabbing and blood! Uncouth ruffians. Black Marsh is a much more civilised region. Instead of killing each other, the residents are too busy trying to not be eaten. A far more progressive approach.'


http://i.imgur.com/tGEdM.jpg


'Well, it can hardly be worse in there than outside. Better finish off the rest of these bandits, get back down the mountain, collect my pay and GET OUT OF THIS DAMN COUNTRY. Priority number one.'


http://i.imgur.com/Xp567.jpg


'...nope, just as chilly in here.'


http://i.imgur.com/GwxHv.jpg


'You know, I think I'm getting better at this whole "zap, burn and stab" routine that seems to be all the rage these days. I could get used to this.'


http://i.imgur.com/9D7eT.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/T0fQL.jpg


The Invisible Barbarian Chorus agrees with Blinky.


http://i.imgur.com/G1qxF.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/JNlLk.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/RE1Do.jpg


"What was all that? I'm starting to see things. I badly need a drink."


http://i.imgur.com/o3BaY.jpg


"Finally, someone with some sense around here. Saves me doing the work. Thanks!"


http://i.imgur.com/1yMrI.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/tF6i3.jpg


None of this makes any sense to you.


http://i.imgur.com/htRQi.jpg


It takes a few hours, but eventually you exhaust the trap system of it's arrow supply and the exit door opens out of sheer bewilderment.


http://i.imgur.com/nhxKH.jpg


The spider supply has barely been tapped, however.


http://i.imgur.com/lyanK.jpg


'Black Marsh definitely has bigger spiders than this. Ah, nostalgia.'


http://i.imgur.com/FxU5k.jpg


'Still though, I bet this elf isn't used to them. He's probably grateful he isn't obeying the tenets of the food chain. Shouldn't I be exploiting this, somehow?'

Aldurin
04-14-2012, 07:57 PM
Blinky has the best approach to puzzles.

Thadius
04-14-2012, 10:30 PM
No he doesn't.

The ruin is still standing and not on fire.

Locke cole
04-15-2012, 10:41 AM
Look, man. You can't be the Easter Bunny if you're not willing to leave a few eggs intact.

Revising Ocelot
05-04-2012, 06:58 PM
http://i.imgur.com/IBFt9.jpg


Plagued with indecision, Blinky decides by himself to do the right thing. What he presumes to be the right thing, anyway. Arvel's name sounds familiar, though.


http://i.imgur.com/rGzMu.jpg


Was somebody talking about him?
'Eh, forget it. I'm doing The Right Thing. Always help an innocent in peril!'


http://i.imgur.com/F8P6e.jpg


'Just have to remember to aim to the left. Not straight ahead. Otherwise I'll have done The Wrong Thing. Been doing a surprising amount of Wrong Things lately. Perhaps I should cut down on them.


http://i.imgur.com/ck8MU.jpg


'Heh. Cut. Blinky, you glorious master of the Pungeon. If only someone was around to hear that. Apart from that guy. Is he scouting ahead?'


http://i.imgur.com/LRTdn.jpg


Blinky hears a short yelp ahead, followed by a loud thud. Similar to a spike trap impacting against a wall while carrying an elven load. Arvel must be disabling some cunningly hidden mechanisms for you. Good guy, that Arvel.


http://i.imgur.com/nOiuB.jpg


'Well, he missed some strange zombie types, but the elf can't be expected to do everything, after all. These types of ruins always carry a few hundred zombies, and I did just save him. It's OK for him to miss a few, he needs a break.'


http://i.imgur.com/iBfnv.jpg


"Oh no! A tragic break upon a wall of spikes! Tragedy!"


http://i.imgur.com/HtsLJ.jpg


'What was the point of all this? I go to the heroic effort of saving someone, only for them to perform such a sacrifice for my sake just minutes later. What a senseless waste of a good life.'


http://i.imgur.com/yCB2t.jpg


'This just goes to prove that good deeds get you nowhere. I'll never perform any again. Except... aren't I in this tomb for someone's sake already? Can't remember. It was only a few hours ago I was speaking to... er... some shopkeeper, maybe? Feels like I've been in here for a month. I think someone wanted this claw. May as well hang onto it... and everything else Arvel had.'


http://i.imgur.com/BZfK2.jpg


'Such a waste of a good life. Tragic, tragic, tragic.'
Blinky has no time for tears however, as he's pretty sure that to get out of the tomb he must press on ahead, and not backtrack. The entrance lies that way. You're looking for the exit. That's how the world works.


http://i.imgur.com/OMcKL.jpg


The Invisible Barbarian Chorus strikes up again for Blinky's expert Draugr incineration, but is surprisingly lacking when it comes to advising Blinky on his horoscope. Blinky himself is completely clueless as to what other constellations he should light up in the universe of his vast, if mostly empty, mind. He can't "breathe" enough fire to light a star by himself. Give it a few more years.


http://i.imgur.com/pEEkX.jpg


'Elaborate! They must keep some of those zombies in the wall to swing the blades between each other for sport. Maybe there's something else valuable down here? Maybe even more valuable than the exit - Draugr dueling is dull drudgery. Entire continent is mostly tombs and undead, you can find this sort of stuff anywhere if you're sufficiently drunk on a Fredas night.'


http://i.imgur.com/ByAYb.jpg


'And most of these are asleep in the walls! Appalling negligence. Will be reporting these tired fools to their local necromancer.'


http://i.imgur.com/jABsJ.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/0mNir.jpg


'His workforce is slacking off on the job big-time.'


http://i.imgur.com/QRGrx.jpg


'Least they could do is clean up after themselves.'


http://i.imgur.com/cESf7.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/TpIER.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/DN9XJ.jpg


Another damp, soggy cave. Second time in as many days that the architects just threw the plans into a fire and abandoned the concept of such petty concepts like walls and floors. Blinky vents his frustrations on a nearby rock.


http://i.imgur.com/V5fp5.jpg


Or stairs. What you would give for a decent set of stairs to exit out the convenient aperture above. Actually, you'd give a few dozen swords and axes looted from the various Draugr in the previous rooms.


http://i.imgur.com/QIOk3.jpg


And the rooms ahead.


http://i.imgur.com/ZupBA.jpg


'Just how much tomb can you fit into one mountain, anyway?'


http://i.imgur.com/Q9WKN.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/oJRMj.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/vbbdX.jpg


Not wishing to waste more time on complicated puzzles, Blinky takes the obvious course of action and spends a few hours scraping a large enough hole in the ramshackle door with the Golden Claw.


http://i.imgur.com/e2kpg.jpg


'Ah. Giant tomb chamber. I know how this bit goes.'


http://i.imgur.com/l1weD.jpg


'A bigger Draugr is going to pop out of the casket and I'll have to spend 5 minutes being chased around in circles while I kill it very slowly. I did something like this somewhere in Cyrodiil. Not too exciting.'


http://i.imgur.com/rtRGt.jpg


'The Invisible Barbarian Chorus sure is getting rowdy, though. That's new. Why do they keep hounding me since I went in this tomb?'


http://i.imgur.com/od2G9.jpg


'Better go check what they want. Hopefully I don't owe them anything...'


http://i.imgur.com/v0Yfq.jpg








A singular word of an ancient language suddenly fills Blinky's mind. Clarity and understanding are bestowed upon him.








http://i.imgur.com/e8h7W.jpg


".....FUS!"


http://i.imgur.com/zDy7p.jpg


"FUS!"


http://i.imgur.com/5p8kz.jpg


"FUUUUUuuuuck you I'm going back to flaming stuff."

Revising Ocelot
05-05-2012, 01:55 PM
Everyone ignored my post yesterday and I cut it off early by accident, anyway. So here's another with the screenshots I had left over.

----------



http://i.imgur.com/boRrX.jpg


'Dragonstone? The imagery on this doesn't make sense. You'd think that, as the only legitimate dragon for hundreds of years, someone would have made a bust of me by now. But noooo.'


http://i.imgur.com/nAVZ7.jpg


'Another passage! Hopefully this one will lead to another huge chamber with a freaky wall and a coffin containing some kind of undead bear. I think I'm due a bear.'


http://i.imgur.com/vza1D.jpg


'Perhaps there's one hiding in this pedestal which'll chow down on my hand when I activate this suspicious device?'


http://i.imgur.com/36ejf.jpg


'Or... nope, another passage. At this point I must have walked into another mountain range. This can't be the same damn mountain I've been walking around in circles for a whole day.'


http://i.imgur.com/hzVGC.jpg


'At least the loot haul has been hefty. I've not had this many swords and hammers weighing down my stomach for years. And this helmet! It's practically compelling me to wear it. Can't think why.'


http://i.imgur.com/CIayI.png
http://i.imgur.com/gI362.jpg


'...eh, not my style. I'll stick to the hood. More comfy.'


http://i.imgur.com/mReFU.jpg


'Warmer, too. That's one nasty cold wind blowing in from ahead. Logically, that must mean there's some mean old ice elemental lurking around. Obviously.'


http://i.imgur.com/RYYcF.jpg


'Oh, right. Outside. Forgot that existed. This is why it pays off to always find the exit. Going back to the entrance would have achieved nothing.'


http://i.imgur.com/RzuHT.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/Wrgkh.jpg


'...where is this, anyway? I don't recognise any of this scenery. Well, apart from the trees. And mountains. Snow, too. Just like EVERYWHERE in Skyrim. Well, I'm sure I left a map somewhere in my gullet a week ago. It might give a rough guide as to which of the several million mountains I'm standing on.'


http://i.imgur.com/l5DyM.jpg


'This map is... PERFECT. Astonishingly high detail of Skyrim - nothing but mountains and clouds! I forgot the clouds. Lots of them in Skyrim. Couldn't the cartographer have used some artistic license? Maybe show what all these icons mean and draw some squiggly towns in-between each mountain? Where the hell am I meant to go?'


'...where the hell was I meant to go, anyway? There was something I needed to do to save myself from... what was it? A dragon? Psh, I'm my own best friend, NOT my worst enemy, no matter what the jailers keep saying. Eh, it was probably nothing. May as well go to that... Blackjog... Greendash... WHITERUN place. Damn good memory. Never lets me down.'



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In case it wasn't obvious from the last post, I'd like some more levelling pointers. So many trees!