Oh my fucking GOD I own a house

[Nikose Tyris]

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m02j3mo0GY1qb6ll6.gif

It's over on 51 Shalom Crescent in Etobicoke; there's some work that needs to be done to bring it up to code, but it was a definite steal for only $322,000 for it's size and shape and location.

I've got renters that will cover the mortgage and I'll be posting all my math soon but I am in CELEBRATION MODE since everything is 100% confirmed oh my god I OWN A HOUSE


ASK ME QUESTIONS OR SOME SHIT ABOUT IT

[Flarecobra]

How many bodies can it fit in the backyard?


But in all seriousness, congrats man, and gonna put up any pics of it?

[Nikose Tyris]

I can put up pics from the listing article- I haven't taken any pictures of it with my own camera yet [won't until I get occupancy at it, end of April]
SO PICTURES
http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/7866/w22734017.jpg

http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/4471/w22734016.jpg

http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/6528/w22734012.jpg

http://img543.imageshack.us/img543/2609/w22734011.jpg

They posted NOTHING of the Upstairs or Downstairs; the Upstairs is actually perfectly alright; the Basement is awful. Needs a massive renovation. Which means I get to use a Diamond-Tip Chainsaw.

It's a pie-shaped lot, so the backyard only holds roughly 65% of a standard lot's capacity. However, see above regarding the diamond-tip chainsaw.

[CABAL49]

BURN IT BEFORE IT STEALS YOUR SOUL!

[Seil]

Built on ancient Indian burial ground. Callin' it right now.

Or an Amityville thing. Callin' that, too.

Also, I refuse to believe that the man in the picture in the OP is anyone other than Nikose.

[Amake]

The preferred term is cursed NATIVE AMERICAN burial ground!

Oh congratulations by the way.

[Solid Snake]

It's over on 51 Shalom Crescent

Everyone
Everyone

I just discovered conclusive evidence that Nikose Tyris is, in fact, a demonic agent of the devil
He lives alongside the Muslims and Jews

How many wholesome Christian souls have you corrupted, Nikose?!?
How does it feel to be in league with Satan?!?!?!?

I probably shouldn't try to make jokes out of something so many people I know actually sincerely believe
Hell, even *I* technically believe it?
I don't know, I've been really confused on that point lately.

[Flarecobra]

Snake...

http://sadpanda.us/images/830860-16N17WD.gif

[Solid Snake]

Oh come on now
If all the atheists here can crack jokes about how terribly bigoted Christianity is, I can too!
Equal rights for the minorities of Nuklear Power!!!!

[CABAL49]

We should all write you a letter. Filled with plant semen.

[A Zarkin' Frood]

Just why would anyone post their address on the internet? Because I don't want any of you to know where I live.

[Marc v4.0]

Upstairs, Downstairs, AND a basement? Fuck you! I want a basement and an upstairs...

[Fenris]

Just why would anyone post their address on the internet? Because I don't want any of you to know where I live.

Because he owns a house and is intent on losing it as quickly as possible.

[akaSM]

So, Nik got the NPF house, huh? I thought it would be closer to a beach :raise:


http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/7866/w22734017.jpg

Dibs

[phil_]

Playhouses are meant to be shared, akaSM.

[Nikose Tyris]

hahaha you guys

Hahaha Snake

hahaha Phil <3

I'm so happy and drunk.

Price: $322,000
Down Payment: 20%
Mortgage Calculation Present Value: $257,600

Interest Rate: 2.9%
Interest Rate per Period: 0.242%
Number of Payments: 25 year [300 payment periods]
Payment Amount: $1,205.30 / Monthly

+ Property Tax: $250/ monthly
+ Electric Bill: $120/ monthly
+ Water & Sewage: $60 / monthly
+ House Insurance: $65 / monthly [Quote from RBC]
+ Gas Bill : $60 / monthly
+ Subtotal Bills: $555 / monthly

Total: $1850 / Monthly [Rounded up]

4 Bedrooms / 5 Tenants

[Shyria Dracnoir]

http://img708.imageshack.us/img708/6528/w22734012.jpg

I call the big couch.

[Aldurin]

I call the basement, I'll even renovate it for you so it can better accommodate my mad science to save you the effort.

[batgirl]

I'll take the small couch, then Shyria and I can play games.

[Nikose Tyris]

The furniture is all being changed up- there will be a Corner Couch [With Pull out Bed] and two smaller loveseats, and a flatscreen in that living room.

Basement is getting renovated into two bedrooms, a full bathroom, a laundry room and oh my god you guys

This is the best part for me you guys


I HAVE A COLD ROOM :D I've wanted one ever since I was a little kid and it was on my list of things I wanted in a house oh my god



Oh also if anyone wants to visit Toronto just give me like, a weeks notice and you can crash on the sofa [or treehouse if you really want to idgaf]

[Magus]

Is Ectibicoke some kind of really rich area because I dunno that sounds kind of expensive for the size of the house in this economic downturn. Unless you got a lot of acreage or something.

Also no one ever really owns a house--they just rent them. Property taxes. FOREVER.

[Nikose Tyris]

$322K is a decent price for the Area; Canada has a fairly high inflation rate on property prices, no lie. Assessed value is $280K on this one, so 42K over is actually decent; most houses in the area are listed around $380K+, and assesed values about the same as mine.

[Magus]

We should all write you a letter. Filled with plant semen.

Or send him an actual house plant filled with semen.

LJHwS3HonKY

[pochercoaster]

Is Ectibicoke some kind of really rich area because I dunno that sounds kind of expensive for the size of the house in this economic downturn. Unless you got a lot of acreage or something.

Also no one ever really owns a house--they just rent them. Property taxes. FOREVER.

Housing, and the cost of living in general, is expensive in Ontario, especially around the greater Toronto area. It's not uncommon for Canadians to hop across the border to go shopping, even just for groceries, if they live close enough. It's offset by free health care and slightly higher minimum wage. I'm still amazed by how cheap things are here after moving 5 months ago, particularly with housing.

However, due to slightly better regulation there tends be less of a boom/bust cycle compared to the US, so you don't get obscenely expensive and then obscenely cheap houses as often.

[akaSM]

I HAVE A COLD ROOM :D I've wanted one ever since I was a little kid and it was on my list of things I wanted in a house oh my god

Is that a huge room fridge-y thing?

Playhouses are meant to be shared, akaSM.

You want to get in mah fort? You'll have to fight mEeEeEeEe...

or treehouse if you really want to idgaf

DIBS, give Phil the ground fort, I'll take to the SKIES.

[Fifthfiend]

However, due to slightly better regulation there tends be less of a boom/bust cycle compared to the US, so you don't get obscenely expensive and then obscenely cheap houses as often.

I assume in Canada the banks can't just like straight-up steal your house and forge some paperwork saying it's theirs and have the government be basically cool with that so that's also a bonus yeah.

[Nikose Tyris]

Yeah banks are like, crazy controlled up here actually. One of my courses is just understanding how and why, without really anything else.

It's... really complex.

@Aka: It's a giant cement room that just says cold all the time because it has no insulation. It's located under the front step, all cement walls... it's meant to stay cold as a cheap storage area for things that need to be cold.

[pochercoaster]

I assume in Canada the banks can't just like straight-up steal your house and forge some paperwork saying it's theirs and have the government be basically cool with that so that's also a bonus yeah.

Well, among the fact that Canada > US in almost every aspect except like, telecommunications for reasons which baffle me. Banks don't hand out money or credit like candy there.

[Bobbey]

Congrats Nik! I'm happy to hear this great news. When's the BBQ party?

[Nikose Tyris]

Depends on if I own a BBQ!

[Jagos]

Oh, damn... Congrats man! Always awesome to have your own place.



*Steals all swag he can carry*

*Including the BBQ pit*

[Nique]

NIKOSE, I AM THINKING ABOUT PURCHASING A CONDO. ENLIGHTEN ME!

[Aldurin]

NIKOSE, I AM THINKING ABOUT PURCHASING A CONDOM. ENLIGHTEN ME!

Fixed.

[Nikose Tyris]

NIKOSE, I AM THINKING ABOUT PURCHASING A CONDO. ENLIGHTEN ME!

This is insufficient detail. Also why would you purchase a condo ever

like seriously, maintainance fees + Mortgage just make it feel like such a bad investment

I guess if the place was priced low enough, we have Condos in the area that are about $60K, and then the $800 maintainance is just like paying rent for the rest of eternity?

[Nique]

I think Condominiums get a bad rap. Yes there's certain elements of apartment living that go into it but I kind of like the low-maintenance...ness.

Here's the deal I'm looking at - $125,000 in a metropolitan area for a 950 sq ft 2-bed, 2 bath. HOA Fees are like $105 p/ month but I guess I don't feel like that's wasted since I would basically be paying into the upkeep of the property?

I guess my questions would be about getting the mortage and stuff all figured out, and if I can haggle the seller at all. Interest rates are apparently pretty good but I have basically no down-payment. Though apparently there is some financing available with 0 down, and no PMI (which I am totally not willing to pay) but it's like 4.5% or something.

I dunno. I just want to get out of this 1-bedroom apartment without drastically altering my routine (like having to do yard work).

EDIT: Also; 60k? Where do you live?

[Nique]

My name's Aldurin and I'm a huge butthole!!!1!

Fixed.

[Azisien]

Must be Jane and Finch!

[Nikose Tyris]

I think Condominiums get a bad rap. Yes there's certain elements of apartment living that go into it but I kind of like the low-maintenance...ness.

It does depend heavily on the building and complex the Condo is in; Too many times I've seen condos that just go completely to shit that nobody wants to deal with; balcony collapses have gotten decently common in Toronto.

Here's the deal I'm looking at - $125,000 in a metropolitan area for a 950 sq ft 2-bed, 2 bath. HOA Fees are like $105 p/ month but I guess I don't feel like that's wasted since I would basically be paying into the upkeep of the property?

$105 per month isn't bad at all, and at $125K, that's actually pretty good. My bitching is reserved for the buildings up here in Canadaland that Bill you an extra $125 for a parking spot, $350 for property maintainance and another $250 for pool access fees. Shit adds up.

I guess my questions would be about getting the mortage and stuff all figured out, and if I can haggle the seller at all. Interest rates are apparently pretty good but I have basically no down-payment. Though apparently there is some financing available with 0 down, and no PMI (which I am totally not willing to pay) but it's like 4.5% or something

Okay so no down payment and no PMI? What scam artist is feeding you that line? 4.5% interest would be pretty balls on something larger though.

Like before I even start the math, listen up: Mortgage Insurance exists for a reason. Even if you could manage a down payment, you'd want to get your own external mortgage insurance, or at least increase your life insurance to match the buyout value of the property at Mortgage Start date. Anyone telling you "No money down, No Insurance" is either your best friend pushing some tables around in the back for you, or someone whos outright planning to pull some bullshit and force a foreclosure on you somehow.

Anyway, MATH TIME

Purchase Value of $125,000
Monthly interest rate: 0.375

Based on Monthly Payments: 10 year mortgage - $1,290.64/month; 15 year - $952.67; 20 year - $787.86; 25 year - $692.19.

As you can see there's an obvious curve in the payments. I'm inclined to say the 15 year is probably the one up your alley; you end up paying the bank a total of $171,480.60, almost $50K more than what you initially borrowed.

************************************************** ****

Now, in terms of actual advice? Unless we went through your numbers together, I couldn't tell you what the banks will and will not lend you. Generally, you'll have issues getting anything that will be considered paying more than 30% of your monthly income, is the line. They just won't lend it, excluding extraordinary circumstances. Knowing that, Below:


Go get a loan from the bank. For about $25,000. You shoooould be able to get that as an unsecured loan. finance it over 10 years. You'll be paying back just shy of $250/month, if you can get it for 3.5% or less. If you can't get it as a straight loan, try Line of Credit. You'll appreciate this advice later. For now, we'll keep that $250/month in mind.

Now, take the entire $25,000 and use THAT as a 20% down payment on the house; with a full 20% down payment, you'll receive a preferable interest rate. I'm assuming 3.5% again, since that's the top of the bank rate in Canada right now [so it probably doesn't apply to you, but it is a very reasonable target number to try and get below.]

NOW your Monthly Mortgage payments are only $712.42/month over a 15 year mortgage, and you can very likely get it down less then that.

That would make your monthly payments $965~ with rounding. If that balances out to about 40% of your total monthly income, you should have no issues getting both of those things. If you're looking closer to the 70-80% range of your income, you're pretty much just not getting it.

...Right I should also clarify these are 5 year fixed rate mortgages amortized over the 10/15 years, so renegotiations after 5 years are completely possible. I prefer the cold comfort of fixed rate mortgages to variable rates, because moooost of the large fuckups in the states that I've witnessed have been variable rate, and I'd rather spend my entire mortgage at 2.9% interest, than jump between 2.75%/3.15%. But that's just me!


I dunno. I just want to get out of this 1-bedroom apartment without drastically altering my routine (like having to do yard work).

EDIT: Also; 60k? Where do you live?
I'm in Etobicoke and my current place is in Little Somalia. We were on the news recently for some rapper who came out of the building across the street.

I'm moving because there are 4 shootings a month in this neighborhood and I am allergic to bullets.


Also yeah I do enjoy bigger places and no yard work. Thankfully I have a guy for that. [Not like, a guy I pay, but a guy who pays reduced rent to live with me and makes it up by doing chores and shit]


@Azi: Actually yeah that was the place I was talking about. It's fairly near where I am, and this area of Toronto in general has some really piss-bounce low prices on Condos.

[Magus]

I just noticed Nikose's monthly mortgage payment is bigger than the entire amount of money I make in a good month.

Guess I can look forward to not owning a house in a suburban area anytime soon.

TO WEST VIRGINIA!

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Don't you get a gigantic existential terror when buying a house of like "Oh fuck, now I have to live here forever (or just ages)." Like this seems like the most terrifying thing ever.

[Nikose Tyris]

Neato facts, when you get bored of a house, in 6-8 months you can also sell a house

And if you're smart about it you can make a little profit off it

[Professor Smarmiarty]

But then you are contributing to the decline of the economy and I couldn't in good conscience do it. And its fuckloads of effort.
And you can't just pack up your bags and change country on a whim if you ahve a house.
Like renting is great- I'm like "Let's go move halfaway around the world"- give my 2 weeks notice and I'm there.

[Magus]

Neato facts, when you get bored of a house, in 6-8 months you can also sell a house

And if you're smart about it you can make a little profit off it

ITT Nikose confuses a house with a car.

But no really I think we are just jealous of you, honestly.

Or at least I am. Bastard.

[Nikose Tyris]

No I mean like, you can get bored of a house after you've lived in it for about 5 years; then flip it and see it sell inside 6 months. Average time on market in Toronto is around 30 days, too. 6 months is fuckin' generous.

I'm not the type to run off on a whim to fuckin' Saudi Arabia so it ain't an issue for me.

Also I'm totally okay with participating in the decline of society by making mad profit; I'm fine working inside the system till I am in a position to change it. But that's an entirely different story.

[Professor Smarmiarty]

Also I'm totally okay with participating in the decline of society by making mad profit

Haha what a fuck.

[Nikose Tyris]

Haha what a fuck.

In order to run for office I need to own my own property, and have sufficient money to fund my own advertising [Alternatively take in donations, but I'd rather do it myself.] As said, working inside system till in a position to change it, and that's a much different story for another time.

edit: ps not sure if I'm offended at being called a 'fuck'. Like, I'm the product of a fuck but I'm not really sure how calling someone 'a fuck' is all that productive.

[Magus]

Also I'm totally okay with participating in the decline of society by making mad profit

ITT Nikose reveals plans to turn his home into a brothel.

Which are pretty much legal in Canada, right?

...need any investors?

[Nikose Tyris]

Actually seeing as how I legit intend to hold office what I had originally posted here probably should just not be here so

short answer no. :P