Kim's Story

[Kim]

I debated posting this. Perhaps it would be seen as egocentric to make a thread for something so simple and personal. Regardless, I have made something, others have told me that what I made is good, and so I am going to share that something with you.

Kim's Story (https://dl.dropbox.com/u/106579376/Kim%20Story.html#)

It's autobiographical. It's about who I am, and it's about my life. It is a small part of both those things, but it is there.

Enjoy.

[phil_]

Enjoy.But now we're unequal in our sharing! How can the rest of us reciprocate besides "I read it lol?"

[Kim]

I dunno. Maybe folks have some critique. Maybe they see something there that I didn't intend. (This has happened already.) Maybe this will simply encourage others to make stories with Twine, which would also be good.

[CABAL49]

You didn't ask for it, but here is what I think.

We have agreed on several topics and disagreed on several critical ones. But not once did I think pathetic. Petty, underhanded and a bit misguided maybe. But not pathetic. I would find it rather pathetic, if you actually believed that you were pathetic. Even on issues we disagreed on, you fought me tooth and nail. You represented yourself well and refused to back down on something you believe in. You had your face and name exposed by transphobic and ignorant fucks and didn't back down. You took to a cause and made it part of yourself. You are someone who has a strong set of beliefs and sticks to them. That is not pathetic, that is strong as hell. I can definitely understand the worry of this being seen as egotistical. It is why I don't like to talk about myself on the Internet, even though I am doing it right now. And you know what? It is. But that doesn't mean it is bad. You had a story to tell and you told it.

The past is the past, and while you had no control over what happened to you as a kid, that fear and uncertainty is not in vain. You may not see it, but you have a strong sense of self. Pathetic are those who support a cause that is convenient, whose opinions flutter like the wind. Those who do not think for themselves, they are pathetic.

But whatevs.

Edit: I srsed this. My bad. Will delete upon request.

[Kim]

I would find it rather pathetic, if you actually believed that you were pathetic.

About that...

EDIT: It's interesting that I've seen primarily two reactions to my story. There are those who simply say it is very good or share it with others. Validating it in some form but not commenting beyond that. There are others who seek to comfort me in response.

Neither is a bad or wrong response.

It just speaks to a different perspective on the story itself, I think.

[Terex4]

I had similar problems as a boy scout as well as other situations. I relate to this story really hard and, as a result, I want to hug you, I also just want to cry after some of that was dredged back up. Its not a bad thing.

It validates plenty of my own experiences and I was heavily immersed in the story.

[Kim]

I had similar problems as a boy scout as well as other situations. I relate to this story really hard and, as a result, I want to hug you, I also just want to cry after some of that was dredged back up. Its not a bad thing.

It validates plenty of my own experiences and I was heavily immersed in the story.

Thank you. I'm very glad to hear this. We can share internet hugs.

[Ramary]

I can relate in the way because since I was a wee lad I have been forced into EVERY POSSIBLE SPORT by my dad simply because I have always been a person of huge size (Even right now I am like 6'4-6'5 and weigh 280 pounds) , when I never really enjoyed them and saying I don't want to do them always got me looks from everyone. Even in high school where I finally was able to stop with that, everyone tried to recruit me for the football team.

Yeah not as bad as your situation of course, but I can relate. Great read, 5 stars, 10/10, Editor's Choice Award powered by MOUNTAIN DEW™.

[phil_]

Validating it in some form but not commenting beyond that.Well, I don't want to say that less than a thousand words helped me "get you" better, what with the implied other-ing and all that. Not to mention that, if anyone picked up on the idea of empathizing with the little Kim cold in the snow, I'd be obliged to talk about feelings and not being a robot, and no one wants that.

So I give non-specific validation, because I couldn't say nothing when you're right there, staring at me from the OP with flaming ghost eyes.

[Kim]

I was actually referring to some very close friends on Twitter who shared the story with others, who told me it was good, but didn't comment beyond that. The simple knowledge that they understood and thought it of merit. Things unstated. I like it.

[synkr0nized]

How much of this was written with an attempt to capture how you felt then vs. using what you know about yourself now to better portray or characterize your memories? I ask as it wasn't easy to decide if the story was about a scared/upset child put in an unfortunate situation or if it was about a girl putting herself down and being upset about not living up to the boys'/males' expectations.

Perhaps, in the end, it's both.

I guess it helps us get more insight into who you are now.

[rpgdemon]

There was some terminology there that, coming from anyone else, I would find disturbing, and I'm kind of curious why you used it.

You constantly kept talking about being a "weak" little girl, or "just" a girl, in comparison to the boys, and while I'm pretty sure that I understand the intent behind it, it seems like just the sort of thing a misogynist would say, which strikes me as odd. Did you specifically choose that wording because it's how a misogynist would phrase it, or was it just a coincidence? Like, a misogynist would say something like that, belittling and taking power away from a woman, so did you choose to use that phrase to explain how belittled you felt, or because you feel that's your default state, to be so belittled?

Because, you aren't some "weak little girl", or "pathetic", or anything. And, I'm sure you know but I feel like it can be reiterated, there's nothing about being a girl that makes one weak, or that makes you in any way weaker or worse than anyone else.

I think I'm going to leave it at that, as I'm not finding the words that I really want right now, and I won't settle for those that I didn't choose.

[Kim]

Calling myself weak is an accurate description of my physical ability, both then and now.

The story wouldn't exist if they had known I was a girl.

I wouldn't have been forced into the Boy Scouts.

I wouldn't have had to go on that hike.

I wouldn't have had to dig snow caves.

All these bad experiences were because I was a Boy Scout.

It's a true story about the ways in which living as a gender I'm not hurt me.