Fuck spiders

[Revising Ocelot]

I would like to announce my impending death from insomnia.

It's just before 3AM right now, I tried going to sleep an hour ago. 20 minutes after turning my light out, I feel something on my face. Attempt to knock it off. It explodes. Lights on. Lots of goop all over my fingers and face, lips and up my nostrils, and on the sheets and pillow too. It's a bloody spider. Large one by the standards of this country. Looks a little 'deflated'. Still alive. Running across the bed. Grab two tissues and attempt to grab it. It sprays more goop as I crush it, mostly in the tissues but get some on my arm.

Suffice to say, I will no longer be attempting to sleep. Ever again.

[Kim]

poor spider :(

[Kyanbu The Legend]

It's in a better place now. Also wow that's got to suck. I would have hurled a couple times from that. Just thinking about it is making me gag. >_<

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Be sure to give us the details after your new superpowers kick in

[Aerozord]

wonder what kind of spider it was

[Kim]

addendum: please dont fuck the spider

[Intern Nin]

If you enconter any popobawas later on, don't worry. It simply means that the higher powers of the universe have handed over authorship of your life to David Wong. Consequently, you may want to invest in an assortment of sturdy and sharp lawncare tools that can be weaponized in a pinch. Edit: And a holy book of some kind to, y'know, tape to said tools.

[akaSM]

Pics or didn't happen.

Ok, it happened but, I still want to know what did you find, I don't remember finding any goo-filled spiders before.

[Bum Bill Bee]

I'm assuming this was some kind of a tarantula? I heard those things completely shatter when you drop 'em on the floor.

[Krylo]

addendum: please dont fuck the spider

But can I make love to the spider after a nice dinner and an evening cuddling in front of the television?

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Thanks, now you guys have gone and reminded me of the absolutely massive fucking spider living in my bathroom that I saw the other day.

Also this thread is fucking horrifying. Thanks for the nightmares jerks!

[synkr0nized]

So you swatted at a spider that was on your face, and it just spewed its own guts all over you and still managed to flee?

You can never sleep again.





Thankfully it's not what I thought at first. When I saw, "Exploded", I was worried that smacking it released baby spiders from its back all over you and your bed.

[Revising Ocelot]

Don't worry, akasm's post already made me contemplate baby spiders earlier today. I don't think spiders carry their babies on themselves in this country. The exploded part was its abdomen, I couldn't tell you what type of spider it was. Roughly an inch in diameter. There's two kinds I see in my house, the ones that are mostly body with some legs (this kind), and more common are the ones that are mostly thin legs with some body, they go to about 1 and 1/2 inches diameter but their bodies are a lot smaller. I'm quite concerned about how this spider had so much goop. Quite solid, thick black-grey stuff.

No tarantulas either. I did see one in school about 15 years ago. I liked it.

[mauve]

Time to move. That's the spiders' house now.

[Osterbaum]

Spiders are way cute.

Of course that's overridden in this case by the fact it sprayed goop all over you. 'Cause that's (almost) always gross.

Also another exception is if one starts giving birth to hundreds of little spider babies on your sleeping bag. Though even that was kinda cool.

[Azisien]

Goop in your nostrils? There's no way to know for sure that wasn't fertilized egg goop.

Riiiiight up in your brain.

[akaSM]

9pK9YQsInME

[Bard The 5th LW]

Spiders haunt my computer desk because Im posed right next to the backdoor and I too had one on my face last week. It was small though so I kinda just swatted it off and assumed it died somewhere.

I kinda desensitized myself to killing spiders a while ago because they also haunt my shower so I just cut to the chase and just kill them with my hands rather than find a tissue/sandal/whatever.