Naming myself grand ruler of the forums. Deal with it.

[mauve]

Ok. You know what? 2015 is my 10th year on this forum and today is my birthday. So I think I'm gonna declare this little patch of cyberspace as the Glorious Empire of Mauve. As such, I am now Empress Mauve of the Nuklear Realm, Duchess of the Order of the Mystic Temp-O-Rarium and Baroness of the Steam Group Coalition. So yeah. I'm taking this forum as my own. You plebs all answer to me now. Boom. Betcha didn't see that brilliant coup coming. Consider yourselves conquered.

Somebody design me a flag so I can plant it on the highest tower to declare my rulership. Somebody else, get me a glittery username and a decaf latte! Everything the light touches is now my kingdom!

OK, so, get in your votes early to claim positions of power in my new empire. I'm gonna need dukes and duchesses and advisors and ministers and barons and stuff in order to sound super legit. Forum maintenance and the whole "paying real monies to make the forum work" thing will remain Not My Problem, as I am a gracious and fair ruler who is willing to let the former authorities continue in their same positions doing the same things they normally do. Except now they'll do it because I say so, rather than whatever their old reasons were.

Empress Mauve out.


....I need an Imperial Seal to add to my posts. Note to self: get someone to do that.
Other note to self: Start referring to Self with the royal We.

[phil_]

Everything the light touches is now my kingdom!That's not a terribly ambitious claim, what with NPF being the last remaining emo forum on the internet.

[Tev]

Um...shower me with titles oh glorious ruler?

[mauve]

Baron Tevosaurus von Rexford, Commander of the Imperial Dinosaurian Air Force. I'm pretty sure my empire will need a squadron of fighter jets piloted by tyrannosaurs and velociraptors, so get working on that, Commander.


@Phil: OK, fine. Everything the grey and blue background touches is my kingdom.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Do you need a Minister of Philosophy. I believe I have that talent

[Tev]

Us over here in the Imperial Dinosaurian Air Force got you a card.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Hello%20Kitty-Dino%20Airplane_zpsenc6dk80.jpg

[Flarecobra]

I fully support this action.

[batgirl]

I for one welcome our new humble overlord! I can has title please?

[synkr0nized]

Ok. You know what? 2015 is my 10th year on this forum and today is my birthday. So I think I'm gonna declare this little patch of cyberspace as the Glorious Empire of Mauve.

the Glorious Empire of Mauve

It must be true.




Edit: Also, happy birthday, of course! I hope today has found you well.

[mauve]

@Synk: That is the greatest thing. The legitimacy of my rulership is off the charts.

---------- Post added at 03:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:57 PM ----------

@Tev: This is the best possible use for the Imperial Dinosaurian Air Force. 10/10, would have birthday again.

@batgirl: Your approval is appreciated, Dame Batgirl, Duchess of the Order of Nuklearia and Head of the Imperial Department of Vigilante Medicine.

---------- Post added at 03:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:07 PM ----------

@Daimo: Sure, but you have to share the brownies.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

And I made the banner

http://i.imgur.com/WGNh115.png

[mauve]

Well done, Lord Daimo, Minister of Philosophy. It has a nice ratio of anger to magenta.

[Revising Ocelot]

Empires are boring. I should know, I live in a place where old coffin-dodgers wistfully reminisce about it.

[mauve]

Well, I mean, I could've just been Queen of the Nuklear Realm, but if I'm gonna go to all the trouble of declaring rulership, I figure I might as well make it an empire.

[Hatake Kakashi]

I'll happily direct the Ministry of Scarecrows, or other things you might require of me.


Also, Happy Birthday, your eminence.

[RickZarber]

Pretty sure this is the best possible outcome of all our potential realities, so, yay!

And happy birthday and Nukiversary! A decade of Mauve in our lives is more than we all deserve.

[shiney]

Happy birthday!

I for one, welcome our new Mauve overlord. Genuflect, or be punished.

[mauve]

Pretty sure this is the best possible outcome of all our potential realities, so, yay! Oh man, yeah, you don't even want to KNOW what happened in the alternate reality wherein I named myself Supreme Overlord Mauve.

A decade of Mauve in our lives is more than we all deserve.
[Batman voice]I'm the Mauve this forum needs, but not the one it deserves. [/Batman voice]

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Oh supreme Emperess of the forums, shall I make us out emblem?

[rpgdemon]

Come on. Clearly evil. I mean, when you start calling yourself an empire, you're setting yourself up as the villain.

Who will join the rebellion of the resistant alliance of the free persons?

[POS Industries]

Come on. Clearly evil. I mean, when you start calling yourself an empire, you're setting yourself up as the villain.

Who will join the rebellion of the resistant alliance of the free persons?
Not me. That's "get murdered in Empress Mauve's glorious name" talk.

On a completely unrelated note: Empress Mauve, who all do I need to murder in your glorious name?

[Flarecobra]

Well, my support was ignored. There's only one reasonable response.

REGIME CHANGE!

[Intern Nin]

Good tidings on this glorious anniversary of the day the world received you, Oh Mighty Sovereign. You have my asupport to this new forum order, with only one minor request on my part.

I wish to be made Chief Justice in the new Supreme Imperial Court of Law.

[mauve]

Come on. Clearly evil. I mean, when you start calling yourself an empire, you're setting yourself up as the villain.

Who will join the rebellion of the resistant alliance of the free persons?
No no no. That's what happened in the Supreme Overlord Mauve alternate universe. And she made all the witnesses 'disappear,' so I dunno how you could've found out about that.

I'm totally super nice and not evil at all. It wouldn't be the "Glorious Empire of Mauve" if I wasn't.

My proof, left here as a record for future generations:
http://i.imgur.com/qpcAUYt.png

Not me. That's "get murdered in Empress Mauve's glorious name" talk.

On a completely unrelated note: Empress Mauve, who all do I need to murder in your glorious name? You seem like an intelligent and enterprising individual, Captain Industries of the Pirates-On-Safari (We assume that's what POS stands for, as Pirate On a Stick is not awesome enough, and I'm still trying to figure out what the O would stand for if the S was for Spinosaurus. I might need spinosauruses though, because if I have a dinosaur air squad I think I'd need a naval fleet of privateers commanding seafaring spinosauruses into battle.). But I am clearly a kind and benevolent ruler who would never order the downfall of my enemies. Clearly.

(seriously though, get working on the spinosaurus thing)

Well, my support was ignored. There's only one reasonable response.

REGIME CHANGE! In my defense, you never actually said you wanted a title. And since I'm Empress, that overrules any complaint you may have had. Sorry Flare, them's the rules.

In addition, I'm sure other regimes wouldn't name you Baroness Flarecobra of the Imperial Fire Department. And it should be noted that the Imperial Fire Department doesn't put out fires. It starts them.


I wish to be made Chief Justice in the new Supreme Imperial Court of Law It is done. I have a feeling we might have work for the Imperial Court of Law here pretty soon.

[phil_]

Who will join the rebellion of the resistant alliance of the free persons?I'm not big on the whole "rocking the boat; actually fighting for justice" thing. I'm good to just summon magical creatures and kvetch at them. Please don't include me in any empire building projects; I prefer to stay a hermit and have the threat of summoning a black hole as a deterrent to forcing my participation.

[MSperoni]

If Mauve is Empress that makes me God.

[Aldurin]

At least capitalize "the" in the title of your nation.

Every frickin' regime change some stuff has to break.

[Hatake Kakashi]

If Mauve is Empress that makes me God.

I've always found you rather unbelievable, Matt. :smug:

[MSperoni]

Basically I just want some tribute by way of food and/or sacrifical virgins.

What guarantee can I have from Mauve's Empire that these things will be secured for me?

Should I lend my support to another empire? Like the Black Kingdom of Krylo?

Or the lands ruled by Czar Czolid Cznake?

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

2005? How positively droll!

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Well, this was unexpected. Of all the people who could have taken control of the forums, Mauve is probably the last one I would have guessed. To be honest, I'm a bit on the fence about this; Do I submit like most of the others and get a snappy title? Do I join La Resistance? Do I leave to go and make my own empire, with hookers and blackjack, naming myself Supreme Overlord, since that title is apparently still free?

I just duno.

[MSperoni]

Well for what it's worth I am keen on both hookers AND blackjack.

Just sayin'.

This will be the Nuklear Game of Thrones. A song of Ass and Fire.

[batgirl]

2005? How positively droll!

2004? Hilarious.

[Bard The 5th LW]

All hail Mauve, Lord of Garbage, Nerds, and Nerd Garbage.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

While the quality of Mauve as a ruler is undeniable and the merits of autocracy are numerous I must oppose this change as it invariably leads to the consolidation of power by the unworthy.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

So, I went to fix my morning coffee, and I found this in the canister.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/Mauvekenstone_zpsykilzrwy.jpg

Coincidence?

[mauve]

Hey look guys, I'm a kind and benevolent ruler, and just to give fair warning, anyone who opposes my tyrannical benevolence will force me to send some names to POS and Synk. The cornfield is a very real place and I'd hate for anyone to "accidentally" get "lost" in there.

[Flarecobra]

Sorry Mauve, but I already put in the orders for assassination. And you know how much of a pain they can be to cancel.

Oh, and the airstrikes. And the mutant green moogle named "Reflecting Kevin"

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Cornfield, you say?

Corn is a product of farming, or agriculture. Which was the foundation of our change from a hunter gatherer society. To gather is to bring together or assemble, as in the Avengers, which has just released a sequel, or a continuation.

I think we all know where i'm going with this.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Just for that I ain't giving the Mauvekenstone back

[phil_]

2004? Hilarious.Time? An illusion.

[mauve]

Just for that I ain't giving the Mauvekenstone back

Nooooo, but I need that to rule as Queen Under the-- Wait. No. Actually, considering the subforum name, I don't really want to be queen of this particular mountain.

[Loyal]

You have a title, but can you back it up? What is your foreign policy? How do you plan to combat joblessness? Is there any truth to the rumor that you've crashed a blimp into Disneyland?

[mauve]

You have a title, but can you back it up? What is your foreign policy? How do you plan to combat joblessness? Is there any truth to the rumor that you've crashed a blimp into Disneyland?

The deadline for submitting questions in writing was April 15th.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Philosopher Mac asks:

What if we are just binary for another simulation

[MSperoni]

Look, I'm not gonna say shiney, synk and I made any deals with anyone to turn this place into a government sponsered social experiment.

If that thought runs through your mind, or if something feels off, or if a user "disappears", just calm down and we will send you a packet which contains a little purple pill. Take it and it will make it all better.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I'm starting to get the feeling that Empress Mauves reign will be short lived and feeble. So far she has shown no initiative in the areas of foreign policy, taxation, civil liberties, healthcare, industry, education, defence or any kind of planning what so ever.

No referendums have been held, political offices have been handed out solely on a "first come first served" basis (hardly the mark of well maintained, self regulating, free society) to seemingly random, yet surprisingly vocal and influential supporters of the new Empress, no new policies have even been mentioned let alone put into motion by any of these new-fangled and ill-named government bodies and when asked about any of this, we are simply told, "no comment."

I'm afraid I may have to take the opportunity to run for the border and defect to the other side, before Empress Mauves Kill Squads find me. It's ok though; I hacked into her profile and changed all the nuklear launch codes before changing the password. If Empress Mauve wants them back she'll have to bribe me into silence and submission with suitably esteemed titles and lands, or I'm running for Cuba.

Peace out.

[Inbred Chocobo]

Ok. You know what? 2015 is my 10th year on this forum and today is my birthday. So I think I'm gonna declare this little patch of cyberspace as the Glorious Empire of Mauve. As such, I am now Empress Mauve of the Nuklear Realm, Duchess of the Order of the Mystic Temp-O-Rarium and Baroness of the Steam Group Coalition.

So I have a question. Is there an Emperor as well our is that position open? :smug:

On a completely unrelated note I am apparently attracted to power. Who knew.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

The great and powerful Mauve does not send out death squads. How barbaric. No she simply sends you to college, fully paid for. nd none of the re-education centers, she is a benevolent leader

[mauve]

I'm starting to get the feeling that Empress Mauves reign will be short lived and feeble. So far she has shown no initiative in the areas of foreign policy, taxation, civil liberties, healthcare, industry, education, defence or any kind of planning what so ever.

No referendums have been held, political offices have been handed out solely on a "first come first served" basis (hardly the mark of well maintained, self regulating, free society) to seemingly random, yet surprisingly vocal and influential supporters of the new Empress, no new policies have even been mentioned let alone put into motion by any of these new-fangled and ill-named government bodies and when asked about any of this, we are simply told, "no comment."

I'm afraid I may have to take the opportunity to run for the border and defect to the other side, before Empress Mauves Kill Squads find me. It's ok though; I hacked into her profile and changed all the nuklear launch codes before changing the password. If Empress Mauve wants them back she'll have to bribe me into silence and submission with suitably esteemed titles and lands, or I'm running for Cuba.

Peace out.

I gave you guys a dinosaur air force. What more do you want?

[Tev]

Knowing them, they won't be satisfied until they also have Bear Cavalry and some sort of Spaghetti-Squid-based Navy. Not that either are as efficient at protecting the homeland as your aerial reptilian defense force, my liege.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/090428_zpsskpvqrae.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/090429_zpsucf1jh6b.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/090430_zpslhjwrebk.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/090501-1_zps6xrglpkk.jpg

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Oh mighty Mauve whose reign will last 1000 suns do not listen to the mad man known as Hawk. Let him live out his perverse fears in hiding. You are better then him. Praise be to Mauve Mage, the one whose reign will last 1000 suns

[mauve]

So I have a question. Is there an Emperor as well our is that position open? :smug: That would imply that I'd have to share my power and rulership. So no. CORNFIELD.

@Daimo: Damn straight.

@Tev: I continue to be impressed by the skill and initiative demonstrated by the Dinosaurian Air Force. Truly, taxpayer dollars well spent!

@hawk: I haven't laid out my plans on foreign relations etc because I'm still recruiting people to do that for me.

also: CORNFIELD.

@MSperoni: So this is like the Vaults in Fallout? ...I'm still ok with that. Hey, as long as I am still the Empress of a government sponsored social experiment, that's fine.

@flare: But, but, my glorious regime can't end yet! The statue isn't finished yet!

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Oh mighty mauve, wiser then the stars beyond. DO not banish them to the cornfield, they would only serve to be Martyrs for their cause.

[Seil]

"Her name is Mauve, Queen of Queens. Look on her works, ye mighty, and despair." or "This too shall pass."

Aside from that, I'd like to apply for the position of poet laureate, though I expect to go more Bukowski (https://scontent-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/1380793_10151716609669952_2052053706_n.jpg?oh=0bba 1202ab5644685ee4c4532c0e5dae&oe=55E012BC) than Keats.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Already Ministry of Philosophy so no to you Seil

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

I gave you guys a dinosaur air force. What more do you want?

A competent military?



@hawk: I haven't laid out my plans on foreign relations etc because I'm still recruiting people to do that for me.

That's not how politics works! You don't seize power, THEN figure out how to run things. That only works in certain sci-fi franchises and even then its success rate is questionable.

[Glass Pencil]

That's not how politics works! You don't seize power, THEN figure out how to run things.

That is exactly, empirically how it works. Every time.

[Nique]

In the Muave Empire, forum posts on you!

[batgirl]

So...I've got an ambulance and some narcotics and some lye, who needs to be poisoned?

[Solid Snake]

People of NuklearPowerForums,

For too long, we have been oppressed. For a full twenty-four hours...a full day of our finite time on this Earth! We have been oppressed by the sinister, maniacal new regime. We now live in despair, cowering under a foreboding mauve-tinted sky. Gone and destroyed are the other hues -- the pleasant ambiance of shades of blue that once filled our skies and waters, the soothing aura emanated from shades of green, the searing warmth of yellow, Synk's piercing robotic red, even my own beloved pink.

Do you remember them, even as I show them to you, NuklearPowerForums? Or have you all been blinded by the endless sea of wretched, disgusting mauve that has infiltrated every corner of our existences, every cell in our bodies, every neuron in our brains?

We were free folk, once. Barbaric and wild and untamed, it is true, and prone to insult and undermine each other, prone to threaten our pristine relationships with our gods the Mods with our relentless bickering and ranting. But that was precious. That was liberty. We were whole then, NPF.

But since we were conquered by the Empress and her horrendous army of bile-colored mages, we have been sapped of our strength and our virtues as a people. For a full day -- the full rotation of sun and stars! We have been complacent under her devious gaze. She has elevated the weakest among you to false positions of nobility -- mere titles, aimless and formless and without meaning or depth -- and so many of you have fallen into sin and debauchery with her blessing.

But there must be some among you who see the truth behind the veil of lies. There must be some who are willing to stand for justice, for truth, and against evil, at any and all costs.

Stand with me, my friends! As brothers and sisters in arms we can overthrow the tyrant of this land. Join the industrious revolutionary Solid Snake, Esquire, trained in all forms of laws to vanquish the Empress and restore order to our lands. Be a true socialist in a time when the corrupt state needs its people to stand tall! Demand her head on a pike for the sake of our futures.

JOIN THE SOLID SNAKE RESISTANCE.

Revolt and claim your dignity as your own.

[MSperoni]

I'm on Snake's team.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

JOIN THE SOLID SNAKE RESISTANCE.

Revolt and claim your dignity as your own.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/tumblr_nmestiH35X1qm3rsfo2_400_zpszntssqbz.gif

[Solid Snake]

I'm on Snake's team.


The United Social Snake Republic



Mauve...

I do believe...

You've just been...

(Hold on, hold on, you gotta put on the right music for this shit)


Y3R8tkvlAlk


(LISTEN TO THE GODDAMN MUSIC, everyone)




https://38.media.tumblr.com/70cf9d16dd89f0dd69871c273e61a9d5/tumblr_mv723o36aW1qbe7n1o1_400.gif





WRIGHT'ED

[MSperoni]

IT WAS A COUP!!!

Ahhhh!!!

*5 turns of Anarchy*

[mauve]

TREACHERY! VILLAINY! MUTINY! SABOTAGE!

I demand a recount! And a soda!

Damn I wish I had the ability to fakeban. It would make my pseudo-authority more tangible.

[MSperoni]

Recount? You don't VOTE for Social Revolutions.

You just get burned in the fires of the proletariat.

[POS Industries]

Mauve, we must away to the Grand Imperial Hidey Hole for your safety during this... brief populist malfunction.

Hurry now, before Snake's dreaded ARMY OF WORDS falls upon us!

[Solid Snake]

I demand a recount! And a soda!


Well, that's a strange request for a last meal.
Do you have any preference for your soda or will Fanta suffice? Don't worry, it's the kind imported from Mexico, with the real sugar!

[MSperoni]

Yes, Mauve...Go with POS to the hidey-hole for your "safety".

You're a down and out political leader and POS has the glint of ambition in his eye. Or maybe that's the glint of too much cocaine (again). Or maybe both.

Either way, be careful. You might end up with a pickaxe in your skull and what remains of your armies/fortune in the hands of the POS MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.

[Revising Ocelot]

I propose the forum should belong to nobody because fuck you. Yes, you. You specifically, reading this post right now. You know who you are.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

TREACHERY! VILLAINY! MUTINY! SABOTAGE!

I demand a recount! And a soda!

Damn I wish I had the ability to fakeban. It would make my pseudo-authority more tangible.

At least you had a banner.

[POS Industries]

Yes, Mauve...Go with POS to the hidey-hole for your "safety".

You're a down and out political leader and POS has the glint of ambition in his eye. Or maybe that's the glint of too much cocaine (again). Or maybe both.

Either way, be careful. You might end up with a pickaxe in your skull and what remains of your armies/fortune in the hands of the POS MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX.
See, this is exactly the sort of libelous propaganda one would expect from a despotic post-rebellion regime. Meanwhile, jackbooted thugs are beating down the doors of innocent families and making people "disappear" if they don't toe the line.

This is why our Glorious Empress' government-in-exile will be working closely with our longtime allies to restore freedom to our people as they suffer in our absence. Perhaps we'll start with one of our relaxing tropical island allies and go from there. It's nothing like home and I will think of it wistfully every day, but we'll do what we can from our beachfront headquarters.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

You do that. Meanwhile I'll be over here stealing your sheep

[Seil]

QnJFhuOWgXg

[MSperoni]

It's nothing like home and I will think of it wistfully every day, but we'll do what we can from our beachfront headquarters.

Hmm...No one told me Mauve had a beachfront headquarters.

I like the beach.

[synkr0nized]

The United Social Snake Republic

:whatisthematrix:

http://home.comcast.net/~synkr0nized/emotes/001.jpg

[Flarecobra]

I'm entirely ok with this. :)

[MSperoni]

How long can Snake maintain his regime?

Will Mauve's Empire strike back?

Grand Moff POS and his deathsquads are poised and ready.

But there may be other powers hiding behind the curtain. Biding their time...

[Flarecobra]

Well, don't forget, there's always those whose services are for hire...

[Loyal]

How long can Snake maintain his regime?

Will Mauve's Empire strike back?

Grand Moff POS and his deathsquads are poised and ready.

But there may be other powers hiding behind the curtain. Biding their time... Well, don't forget, there's always those whose services are for hire... Like, remember when I mentioned joblessness?

Hint.

[phil_]

her horrendous army of bile-colored magesBile's, like, green-ish brown. It ain't mauve in any case. Trust a lawyer to know anything about hyu-mahns' filthy life fluids.

[Aerozord]

If you dont know what color Mauve is you clearly need to watch more Hey Arnold

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Why the fuck am I rewatching legends of the galactic heroes when all the political drama I'd ever need is right here? We have the old empire, the new, inevitably corrupted from high ideals Republic, all we're lacking is space, lasers, and a charismatic blonde to reform the empire into benevolent autocracy, seize the universe and make everybody say sieg kaiser.

[Tev]

Fear not Mauve, your Saurian Peacekeepers will suppress this uprising.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/anthro_wyvern_soldier_by_drakainaqueen-d4bstcb.png_zpse68h8y6c.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/theres_a_new_dino_in_town_by_venomexsoldier-d4rvfgt_zpsbwodxre2.jpg
http://i978.photobucket.com/albums/ae264/Dinolover88/Decorated%20images/Default%20Album/129145281184756635-1.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/atomic-robo-v8-3-wrong_zpskyn4uzow.jpg

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Bah! We may be small, but what the forces of the United Social Snake Republic lack in size, we return with firepower!

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/610_088190_92_zpsxb2tybt8.jpg

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/Kobold_Soldier_by_CommissarKinyaf_zpsiurxspb6.jpg

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff15/bayar_m2003/1251496308722.png

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff15/bayar_m2003/1254759012880.jpg

GLORY TO SNAKOTZKA

[mauve]

This thread is pretty much the greatest birthday present you resplendent bastards could've given me.

NEVER GIVE UP, TRUE FOLLOWERS OF THE MAUVE EMPIRE! Fight for the glory of the empire!

@Loyal: well if you're gonna go merc here, be a merc for the Empire! You can keep any riches you steal from the enemy and will be named Grand Duke of Ill-Gotten Gains.

[Tev]

Our enemy has chosen to strike with one of the least survivable races imaginable.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/kkill_zpsh0gpcipu.jpg

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

So, this is how the NPF Civil War arc would eventually come to pass. I know we alluded to it often during the uncut, un-edited, directors cut dvd commentary of NPF Avatars; The Movie, but to see it finally play out is something else.

Also, still got those Nuklear launch codes if you want them Snake.

[mauve]

@K-Re$ha: Dude, I AM the charismatic blonde.

[MSperoni]

Be careful, while the armies of Snake and Mauve fight it out, a third party may be hanging in the shadows.

A party of bacon.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

@K-Re$ha: Dude, I AM the charismatic blonde.

I dunno, we're still pretty early in the series. It's probably another fifty episodes before anyone is crowned supreme ruler of space.

Be careful, while the armies of Snake and Mauve fight it out, a third party may be hanging in the shadows.

A party of bacon.

And there's the Earth cult!

Of bacon.

[MSperoni]

If you hoi polloi stopped pandering to political bigwigs and started paying attention to chat, to the PEOPLE, to the seedy underbelly, you'd be aware of the manuevering. Aware of the smoldering of bitter fires.

Aware of Vegas Bacon Front.

[Tev]

Aware of Vegas Bacon Front.Oh we're quite aware....

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/059/a/c/bacon_loving_crying_t_rex_by_tyleen-d3am0qy.gif

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

Oh we're quite aware....

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2011/059/a/c/bacon_loving_crying_t_rex_by_tyleen-d3am0qy.gif

THE PARALLELS CONTINUE

https://hostr.co/file/970/TyHe8IJPhGD4/243350840.jpg

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I don't like bacon

[Shyria Dracnoir]

BURN THE HERETIC

[batgirl]

Sooo...my family and I have decided to join up. Viva La Mauve!

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e340/batgirl39/3005001-1382681770-16289_zpsy4thkeoq.jpg (http://s42.photobucket.com/user/batgirl39/media/3005001-1382681770-16289_zpsy4thkeoq.jpg.html)

[Flarecobra]

BURN THE HERETIC

https://40.media.tumblr.com/f548a6502fba86d6179ed338a1f24c5a/tumblr_n7ydtdXHnb1ru89vdo1_540.png

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

As I said to Flare:

I have the same hatred to bacon as people have to any other overzealous fandom

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

https://40.media.tumblr.com/f548a6502fba86d6179ed338a1f24c5a/tumblr_n7ydtdXHnb1ru89vdo1_540.png

PURGE THE MUTANT!

[Flarecobra]

Check your inbox Hawk.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

Yeah, try telling that to the Inquisition, if they don't just shoot you first. Or later. Or possibly sometime during the explanation, just to be safe.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

the Inquisition, if they don't just shoot you first

5ZegQYgygdw

[Flarecobra]

Yeah, try telling that to the Inquisition, if they don't just shoot you first. Or later. Or possibly sometime during the explanation, just to be safe.

You're getting off track. We got a bacon-hater to fry.

[MSperoni]

Fry him! Make bacon out of his corpse!

Or beef jerky.

How do the various Nuklear Warlords feel about jerky?

[synkr0nized]

As I said to Flare:

I have the same hatred to bacon as people have to any other overzealous fandom

Despite the :smug: behind this, I am with you here.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I am not being :smug:

I have had people lambaste me for saying it.

[MSperoni]

It surprised me to learn that the best way to make bacon was to bake bacon.

On a cookie sheet, put it in the oven for about 20-30 mins. It's a lot easier to avoid it ending up like grease soaked cardboard.

But then again, I like my bacon on the tender side. More like country ham (which is far superior to bacon).

[MSperoni]

It surprised me to learn that the best way to make bacon was to bake bacon.

On a cookie sheet, put it in the oven for about 20-30 mins. It's a lot easier to avoid it ending up like grease soaked cardboard.

But then again, I like my bacon on the tender side. More like country ham (which is far superior to bacon).

[Solid Snake]

Sooo...my family and I have decided to join up. Viva La Mauve!

Matt, the People have spoken to me, and as the sole representative of the People's Will, I have been instructed to grant you the position of our Republic's War Minister.

Your first orders are to execute [BAN] this awful dissident who dares speak lies about our glorious socialist regime.

[synkr0nized]

Matt, the People have spoken to me, and as the sole representative of the People's Will, I have been instructed to grant you the position of our Republic's War Minister.

Your first orders are to execute [BAN] this awful dissident who dares speak lies about our glorious socialist regime.

http://home.comcast.net/~synkr0nized/forumz/ok_snake.gif


Matt, [...]

Oh, never mind then.

---------- Post added at 08:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:30 PM ----------

Also, "merge users" is for when we need to use the fusion dance to defeat particularly tricky forum opponents. You should be glad you didn't see what happened when shiney didn't do one of the moves correctly.

[MSperoni]

I'm no War Minister!

Snake, this is MADNESS.

[Karrrrrrrrrrrresche]

I'm no War Minister!

Snake, this is MADNESS.

If you know that much then you know what you must do! Ignore those orders from Snake, and ban him instead! Then you will have seized three things: Snake's ability to post, the sucurity of these forums, and the future!

Harden your resolve. Only then can you restore this place to its proper course.

[Solid Snake]

Et tu, Karesh?

[MSperoni]

I will not be an executioner!

All I do is foment discord and raise people to positions of supremacy.

[Overcast]

I now, with clear and certain mind, do claim the territory of Games and Roleplaying to be independent of the NPF. Henceforth to be known as the Dreamlands.

[Flarecobra]

Wasn't that how Australia was made?

[Intern Nin]

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/bring%20the%20hammah%20down_zpsxgfppfo9.gif

*CLACK*

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-warningb_zpshqxegxf9.gif

That is enough!

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-thinking_zpsm5gprgj7.gif

This bickering has gone on for far too long. A nation cannot hope to stay remotely functional if the Head of State is being ousted and replaced by a new lunatic every hour. We are a just and lawful despotic cyber-state, are we not?

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-thinking_zpsm5gprgj7.gif

Because of this, I believe the matter of conquest can and will be decided in a court of law.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-normalb_zpswh28vm0t.gif

Many of you have laid claim to throne, yet no one has actually presented valid reasoning to back it up.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-nodding_zpstmghzdov.gif

While I owe my position to the victor of the first successful coup, my loyalties are to no leader.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-surprisedb_zpsraq5qbkf.gif

Because I totally lied about giving my support to Mauve! (Imagine that.)

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-normalb_zpswh28vm0t.gif

In any case, this makes me a fair and impartial judge to preside over the matter of who is rightful ruler of this forum.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-nodding_zpstmghzdov.gif
The court will hear arguments of "Empress" Mauve Mage, "Glorious Leader" Solid Wall O'Text Snake, and...

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-surprised_zpsv40mom3s.gif

...


http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-surprisedb_zpsraq5qbkf.gif

Good Beerus, has Overcast thrown his hat into the Baby War too?

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-normala_zps2erznbtj.gif

Whever, the court will hear Joshua Norton II's argument as well. Might as well make it a full courthouse of wallabees.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-nodding_zpstmghzdov.gif

I suggest the "Leaders" confer with their counsel before we begin.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-warningb_zpshqxegxf9.gif

And I think it goes without saying that any further revolutions that take place while court is in session will be null, void, and not tolerated in the least.

http://i1166.photobucket.com/albums/q613/Intern_Nin/judge-warninga_zpsnhhlj2i0.gif

I.E.- You be automatically found guilty of being a witch. And you know what we do with witches.

[Overcast]

*insert box head sprites here*

The roleplay section has been its own monster for years, above and beyond the petty infighting of the rest of the forum since such infighting actually became stylish. It has been my primary home in the NPF since I was a boy, and taught me what roleplaying is allowing that small blessing to become a part of my life. I do not claim ownership, simply that we become what we always were.

Our own people.

[MSperoni]

NO BACON WITHOUT REPRESENTATION

[Krylo]

ITT: Petty dictators squabble over table scraps left by their betters.

[Overcast]

Ha, you don't realize I intend for you to be the dictator of RPstralia.

[batgirl]

Matt, the People have spoken to me, and as the sole representative of the People's Will, I have been instructed to grant you the position of our Republic's War Minister.

Your first orders are to execute [BAN] this awful dissident who dares speak lies about our glorious socialist regime.

You realize that now I have to reach my final form. This means war.
http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e340/batgirl39/NYS%20Tactical%20Medic%20Subdued0001%20Mobile_zpsr nneqw8n.jpg (http://s42.photobucket.com/user/batgirl39/media/NYS%20Tactical%20Medic%20Subdued0001%20Mobile_zpsr nneqw8n.jpg.html)

http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e340/batgirl39/index_zps9xpit8uu.jpg (http://s42.photobucket.com/user/batgirl39/media/index_zps9xpit8uu.jpg.html)

[MSperoni]

The question is: What will each regime do to promote the Gospel of Dreadful?


Having irrational religious support is an influential factor in your potential rise to rulership.

And a Holy War would be fun to watch.

I'm a Southerner, this shit's important.

[Tev]

The question is: What will each regime do to promote the Gospel of Dreadful?I'll tell everyone all about it. As soon as I find out how Liu Wong killed Chan Sen's master, Xu Li. ::V:

[MSperoni]

Well then you're going to be waiting awhile.

[BB]

I'll tell everyone all about it. As soon as I find out how Liu Wong killed Chan Sen's master, Xu Li. ::V:

I'm like 95% sure it involved Kung fu.

[Tev]

I'm like 95% sure it involved Kung fu.You would think that, but the prevailing theory is that is was a tea-based assassination.

[MSperoni]

Actually he killed him with kindness.

---------- Post added at 11:23 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:14 AM ----------

Look, all I want is to be like the Space Pope in FF13 and have a cadre of beautiful battle nuns protecting me.

Who here will deliver?

Mauve? Snake? A third party?

[mauve]

Sure, I'll present my case. But first I demand a new judge. The current one is obviously biased against magic users and the regime he just betrayed.

[Bard The 5th LW]

I know a ruler stronger yet than Mauve.

http://i.imgur.com/nRUOnqw.jpg

[MSperoni]

DX???

[Terex4]

I'm torn between my love of evil empires and my kneejerk "fight the man" instinct. Clearly the only solution is to throw in with the Empire of Mauve then stage a coup down the line.

[MSperoni]

This isn't all about Snake vs Mauve.

Prophecy speaks of another. One from the Meadows of Sin. A city of lights and booze and buses.


Will Mauve and Snake spend resources hunting down this Chosen One?

[Terex4]

As much as I'd love to establish the Holy Trans*ylvanian Empire I don't know if it's quite time to crush the world beneath my heel yet. I mean, I don't even have a Minister of Dubious Anthems yet.

[MSperoni]

That's a pretty good name of an Empire though.

Holy Empires make me think of wealthy figureheads who have access to merchant goods, exotic food, health, and amazon warriors.

Does your empire have any such figureheads? Who makes up your entourage?

[Terex4]

I lack an entourage for the moment but I myself maintain strong connections for health care and I have amazon warriors aplenty as well as a handful of berserkers. Merchant goods are generally obtained from local craftspeople. Our food is imported from Mexico and we occasionally obtain Vietnamese dishes.

[MSperoni]

Imported from Mexico?

So you offer tacos?

[Terex4]

All the tacos

[Shyria Dracnoir]

All the tacos

Well shit, now I want to join up with Terex.

[Terex4]

Well shit, now I want to join up with Terex.
From now on it shall be Her Royal Pain in the Highness Empress Terex the First.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

You're getting off track. We got a bacon-hater to fry.

You're going to need to be more specific, this thread is full of heretics.



Having irrational religious support is an influential factor in your potential rise to rulership.

And a Holy War would be fun to watch.

The future is no place for mysticism and superstitious nonsense. Ours is an enlightened, progressive society, built upon reason and science. In fact, let's just go ahead and followed the Emperors example and outright ban all religion henceforth. It'll solve a lot of problems.


This isn't all about Snake vs Mauve.

Prophecy speaks of another. One from the Meadows of Sin. A city of lights and booze and buses.


Will Mauve and Snake spend resources hunting down this Chosen One?

Shhh, do not speak of the chosen one. His time is yet to come.

[MSperoni]

Terex wins.

or, rather, tacos win.

For now.

Also who says the Chosen One is a HE?


Now with the political situation of NPF having an extra layer of dynamic cake, what will happen?

STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK ON NUKLEARPOWERBALL Z

[Solid Snake]

I don't even know what's happening anymore

[MSperoni]

Terex took advantage of the situation and won favor from The Powers That Be.

Terex's Empire thrives on material wealth and tacos.

You can still take it back, Snake.

---------- Post added at 06:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:59 PM ----------

(make sure to focus on your political campaigning now. Don't pay attention to earning Trophies)

[mauve]

I started a thread that's gone 15 pages without devolving into real insults, real political arguments, or real bannings. I'd say my qualifications for ruling the forum speak for themselves.

Also, as an Empire, I approve of having multiple kingdoms uniting under my banner. The NPF RP Subforum Kingdom could still be a reality, existing as a mostly autonomous region within the Empire of Mauve. As a denizen of the RP section during its heyday, I know the great things it's capable of and its proud history in the Nuklear Lands. Join my empire, Overcast, and your kingdom will remain as it always has, while benefitting from the wealth, opportunity and security of the larger cooperative. Can the other contenders for the throne offer the same?

[Solid Snake]

(make sure to focus on your political campaigning now. Don't pay attention to earning Trophies)


Ain't foolin' me, Speroni.

[Terex4]

http://i58.tinypic.com/qxsc1z.gif

Because I believe the recognition of talent and good works is vital to a thriving Imperial population.

-Under my rule the rivers will flow with coffee and, despite the fact that Her Royal Pain the Highness detests tea, each city will be granted a tea pond within the public parks. Citizens may petition for larger bodies under the condition that they be both iced and alcoholic.

-Once my rule is absolute, the obscenely wealthy will have the bulk of their riches seized and redistributed in the form of free healthcare, education, and increased taco imports.

-As we are a holy empire, our laws will be based on the tenants of our new religion but citizens of the Empire will be permitted to continue practicing their traditional, lesser religions. The Empire will also mandate that workers be given paid days off for their religion's holy days. Atheists and agnostics will be allowed to create some of their own as they, by definition, do not have any.

-I will allow citizens to come to me directly in order to petition for things/laws that they need. As the Imperial Palace stands atop the mighty Bullshit Mountain I feel that anyone capable of scaling that monstrosity of nature deserves to be heard.

[synkr0nized]

I started a thread that's gone 15 pages without devolving into real insults, real political arguments, or real bannings. I'd say my qualifications for ruling the forum speak for themselves.

Typical tyrannical leadership, taking credit for the collective work of all involved. Pay notice, NPF.

---------- Post added at 08:02 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:58 PM ----------

Her Royal Pain the Highness detests tea

Boo! Boo this ruler!

-Under my rule the rivers will flow with coffee and, despite the fact that Her Royal Pain the Highness detests tea, each city will be granted a tea pond within the public parks. Citizens may petition for larger bodies under the condition that they be both iced and alcoholic.

Oh, well that's just fine then.

[rpgdemon]

Sounds like Synk is well equipped to run this madhouse. I see red, hear rolling heads... A right old Queen of Hearts!

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Oh Mighty Terex who shall rule with an Iron but caring fist, what of you on those who are drugged out Philosophers? Where do we stand?

[Terex4]

A non-drugged out philosopher is hardly a philosopher at all. By royal decree this shall fall under the law of "did you bring enough for everyone."

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

A non-drugged out philosopher is hardly a philosopher at all. By royal decree this shall fall under the law of "did you bring enough for everyone."

I will bring enough if they come to the lectures.

[MSperoni]

Terex's Taco Town will last at least a few more days, according to The Oracles.

A certain "Powers That Be" doesn't have his laptop and so doesn't have his Powers That Be Password on hand. He is unable to access the control panel...for about a day or two.

So speaketh the Oracles.

Now is the time for upstarts to start building their military power and political influence.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Can my lecture hall be a Coffee Shop with a groovy atmosphere?

[Terex4]

Grooviness is mandatory!

[phil_]

Can we mandate T-rexcellence towards others? Because I am opposed to such action, as it violates the free will necessary for truly being T-rexcellent to each other.

[RobinStarwing]

Can I rule the Forums for a day? Call it "Robbyland"? :)

I don't say much these days due to gaming too much. I really need to keep on eye on this place more.

[Overcast]

Mauve make a fair assessment, and also has never missed my birthday. I cannot claim the same for any other would be leader tacos or no, but I require the Empress attend at least one roleplay a year to maintain a degree of understanding of the state of the RP. Self run if need be.

[mauve]

Mauve make a fair assessment, and also has never missed my birthday. I cannot claim the same for any other would be leader tacos or no, but I require the Empress attend at least one roleplay a year to maintain a degree of understanding of the state of the RP. Self run if need be.

We find these terms to be acceptable.

[Solid Snake]

We find these terms to be acceptable.

Damn it all, she's doing that awful 'royal we' thing.

Terex, I'm totally willing to support an alliance if it means getting rid of any and all arrogant uses of the 'royal we.'

[MSperoni]

Well, I guess once you're royalty you're always royalty, even when you've been stripped of power...

Though maintaining the "royal we" in that instance is just sorta sad, like that jock who continues coming back to his high school even after he's been graduated for a few years. Clinging desperately to former glory...

Don't be that guy, Mauve.

Seize power again, THEN be that guy.

[Overcast]

We believe that Mauve has never lost the power. Merely given a would be usurper the name while guiding from behind the puppets. The Empress remains.

[MSperoni]

Yeah, I mean, even when Cao Cao took control of Emperor Xian, he was still Emperor. Till Cao Pi forced him to get outta Dodge.

(Dodge City, China. It was a popular trading hub back then).


Mauve is still of noble stock.

I understand why a man of the people like Snake may loathe the royal we though...

[tacticslion]

Happy birthday, Mauve! ... and everybody with a birthday that I've missed!

Sorry it's late. I wasn't here earlier.

Also, to quote a character of mine from a game, "Hey, everybody, I'm on your side!"

Do with that what you will.

[MSperoni]

Gonna come clean:

I heard rumors that Snake's Republic had sent large numbers of political opponents and citizens to gulags.

I'm not gonna say who told me that but I got a letter from someone and I couldn't help but look into it.

[Overcast]

*hangs up my mysterious informant trench coat and hat*

[mauve]

Damn it all, she's doing that awful 'royal we' thing.

Bah. Jealousy. Clearly Snake is jealous of my title and the glorious utopian history of the Empire of Mauve. 'Twas a short rule before his tyrannical uprising, 'tis true, but I believe, deep within my heart of hearts, that this great and powerful Empire can and will rise again to reclaim its former glory.

And We'll use the Royal We when We feel like it!!

Happy birthday, Mauve! Thanks!

Also, to quote a character of mine from a game, "Hey, everybody, I'm on your side!"

Do with that what you will.
Obviously a double agent. Don't trust him.


I heard rumors that Snake's Republic had sent large numbers of political opponents and citizens to gulags.
*hangs up my mysterious informant trench coat and hat* Mysteries wrapped in enigmas!!

[Terex4]

Damn it all, she's doing that awful 'royal we' thing.

Terex, I'm totally willing to support an alliance if it means getting rid of any and all arrogant uses of the 'royal we.'
Her Royal Pain in the Highness accepts this.

[MSperoni]

There is nothing that can stop Terex and Snake's....


DEADLY ALLIANCE

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Friends, Forums, Countrymen, lend me your ears.

We need not revolutionaries against a crown, nore establish a republic. What we all need to do is discuss philosophy. Open your minds to the universe and look upon all of infinity. It is not a dark hole void of nothing, but it is everything that has been and will be. We are merely petty specks in the great cosmic equation.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

What we all need to do is discuss philosophy..

Why?

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Why?

Because does it truly matter who rules? Does it matter if it is a totalitarian empire, or a corrupt republic? WHen you open your mind to the universe, petty squabbles are nothing.

[mauve]

Because does it truly matter who rules? Does it matter if it is a totalitarian empire, or a corrupt republic?
Yes.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

Because does it truly matter who rules? Does it matter if it is a totalitarian empire, or a corrupt republic? WHen you open your mind to the universe, petty squabbles are nothing.

You missed the joke, son.

[MSperoni]

BEWARE THE DEADLY ALLIANCE

[Terex4]

Soul-devouring shapeshifter? Pretty sure I'm Samsung on this one.

[MSperoni]

All we need is for someone to take the picture of Samsung and Crunchy and put Terex and Snake's heads on it.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Friends, Forums, Countrymen, lend me your ears.

We need not revolutionaries against a crown, nore establish a republic. What we all need to do is discuss philosophy. Open your minds to the universe and look upon all of infinity. It is not a dark hole void of nothing, but it is everything that has been and will be. We are merely petty specks in the great cosmic equation.

I like the Thomas Hobbes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan_%28book%29)' philosophy that men can't be trusted to govern themselves and that they need to transfer power to a single god-demon-lizard emperor (http://www.philosophybro.com/post/55729910995/hobbes-leviathan-books-i-and-ii-a-summary)

In fact, we should totally do that.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/1295743476613_zpskw3vyicu.jpg

I'M MAKING A POWER PLAY HERE

[Solid Snake]

I'M MAKING A POWER PLAY HERE

...

...If you actually need to declare it in all-caps like that, it's not much of a power play there Shyria.

[rpgdemon]

I vote that we give POS control.

That way we can all be his POSse.

[Shyria Dracnoir]

THIS IS THE ROYAL FORUMLOT VOICE AND I WILL NOT HAVE YOU IMPUGN IT SNAKE

[MSperoni]

Boy there sure is a lot of turmoil going on in Taco Town...

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Guys, drop the weapons and Dragons Fire and lets talk about how we are the universe

[Flarecobra]

*Shoots Mac in the face with a familor-looking pie bazooka* Talk to the pie.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

*dodges Pie* In order to make a pie, one first make the universe

[MSperoni]

TACO TOWN HAS CRUMBLED!! Terex is left picking up the pieces!

There's fire and anarchy and ruin and screaming townspeople!

Smoke, carnage, pillaging, dogs and cats living together

MASS HYSTERIA


WHO WILL EMERGE FROM THE CHAOS AND UNITE US NOW

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

My people, stop this mad fighting, let us speak of peace not war. Instead of people fighting, why not simply divide this land up, and rule together as a coalition.

[Flarecobra]

Yeah, that never has worked here.

[rpgdemon]

TACO TOWN HAS CRUMBLED!! Terex is left picking up the pieces!

There's fire and anarchy and ruin and screaming townspeople!

Smoke, carnage, pillaging, dogs and cats living together

MASS HYSTERIA


WHO WILL EMERGE FROM THE CHAOS AND UNITE US NOW

Uh, 'sup bro?

---------- Post added at 10:43 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:42 PM ----------

I mean, I've been "Not a Taco" for years. Who is better fit to bring this place forward from the shambles of Taco Town and into the future?

[MSperoni]

You are the rpg DEMON.

Standing alone in the chaos. Your blade held high. Maybe you'll seize power after all.

Is Grand Priest Daimou's call for peace just a front? Is he forming an army of warrior monks in the foothills south of Bullshit Mountain?

I've heard rumors.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I swear on my copy of Chrono Trigger I have done no such thing.

[Grandmaster_Skweeb]

All this discord and usurpery entertains Grandfather Skweeb. Never let this nincompoopery end!

[Terex4]

Empress Terex gazes upon the broken shells of her once world-spanning Empire from high atop her Holy Mount of Bullshit. She vows that the inferior powers that caused this temporary collapse will drown in the rivers of cheapest coffee, but first, she must gather allies. Perhaps extending an offer of representative government to the crunchiest of nations, the United Snake Republic, Her Royal Pain in the Highness can reassert her groovy, if tyrannical, rule.

[MSperoni]

Something gnawed away at your infrastructure. Something eroded you from within.

There is literally no way a Taco Town could fail unless something deeply insidious was going on behind the scenes while you were unaware.

Mayhaps The Deadly Alliance is more deadly to its allies than its foes.

[Flarecobra]

Hmmm... Maybe I should take a page from The Fluffle One... Pies are too...Thadius.

[Terex4]

Something gnawed away at your infrastructure. Something eroded you from within.

There is literally no way a Taco Town could fail unless something deeply insidious was going on behind the scenes while you were unaware.

Mayhaps The Deadly Alliance is more deadly to its allies than its foes.
The suddenness of my fall seems more....otherworldly, an act of God if you will. Perhaps Her Royal Pain in the Highness' time is wasted upon a never ending contest among mortals. Perhaps her time should be dedicated to challenging the gods themselves...














DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN

[All Mankind]

Looking for a compromise between leaving power in the hand of the corruptible individual and the hands of the incompetent masses? Why not an anthropomorphic personification of the masses?

We promise to be more organized than our constituent particles as well as more fair to ourselves than any other individual. Also we probably should get like seven billion votes. Deal?

[Overcast]

Does all mankind include strong AI, human level AGI, uplifted animals, and the deep ones? I have a lot of mostly non human races I need to keep happy in the RP.

[All Mankind]

Yes to the first and third, you'll have to explain the second and how can we know the last is not going to eat us?

[Overcast]

Human level AGI are like strong AI, only instead of being limited by the resources available to them they are instead locked into being within the limits of conventional human potential intellectually.

Also I cannot promise the Deep Ones will not eat you if you do, but I can guarentee that they will if you don't.

[Tev]

I like the Thomas Hobbes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leviathan_%28book%29)' philosophy that men can't be trusted to govern themselves and that they need to transfer power to a single god-demon-lizard emperor (http://www.philosophybro.com/post/55729910995/hobbes-leviathan-books-i-and-ii-a-summary)

In fact, we should totally do that.

http://i212.photobucket.com/albums/cc230/Shyria_Dracnoir/1295743476613_zpskw3vyicu.jpg

I'M MAKING A POWER PLAY HEREThere is only room for one tyrant lizard here. While your kind lazed about on piles of gold, growing soft of tooth being fattened by royal sacrificial offerings, mine ruled the land for a millennia, honing fang, claw, and intellect in the most primeval fight for survival the world has ever known. Only the most violent of acts from the astronomical star gods, which caused the icy death of our planet was enough to push our empires to ruin. Do you think we would kneel before you? A hoarder of useless trinkets?

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Tev%20vs%20Shyria%201_zpsczfludxh.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Tev%20vs%20Shyria%202_zpsql5fk8in.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/Tev%20vs%20Shyria%204_zps3qdhxxqq.jpg

[Overcast]

The RP section supports battles between huge reptilians.

[The Artist Formerly Known as Hawk]

My money's on the one that flies and breathes fire.

Also, seeing as we're going full scale civil war/end times I might as well put forth my services for hire as a mercenary. Personally I don't trust any of you fuckers to run this place effectively, but nor do I wish to rule myself so I'll side with however makes the best offer.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Philosophy takes no side in strife. To the victor I only ask for me to speak still with no muzzle.

[mauve]

My money's on the one that flies and breathes fire. Godzilla is a dinosaur. I think Team Dinosaur will be able to hold its own just fine.

Also, seeing as we're going full scale civil war/end times I might as well put forth my services for hire as a mercenary. Personally I don't trust any of you fuckers to run this place effectively, but nor do I wish to rule myself so I'll side with however makes the best offer.

Fancy title and a place of power in my new empire.

[MSperoni]

This is getting intense.

I may need to make a diagram.


The battle between Shyria and Tev over who has the best army of ancient species should be interesting. I expect it to rival the battles between Kenshin Uesugi and Shingen Takeda. It will take place in the East, in the Semen Valley.

Such sayeth the Oracles.

Dinosaurs are birds though, so I guess ultimately my money would be on them, since birds are still around these days. Then again, you're sorta fielding an army of giant chickens and dragons can breathe fire.

But their love of riches and ego might be their undoing...



Is Hawk with Mauve? General Hawk?


Hawks ARE birds too...does this mean Tev is siding with Mauve? Does she plan to incorporate the fertile land of Semen Valley?


Meanwhile Daimou still preaches peace in the foothills South of Bullshit Mountain...

[Tev]

Then again, you're sorta fielding an army of giant chickens and dragons can breathe fire.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/trex1_zpsomritqqa.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v110/Loneglade/B-P5fC7CAAE3UT9_zpsdulm0nwl.jpg

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Fuck you I'm taking the fatbirdasauruses for my army then. Those big pointy teeth can't do shit when they're choking on a full foot of floof. Plus who do you think's gonna hold out once Winter finally comes?

[MSperoni]

Dinosaurs are basically chocobo now.


Semen Valley tends to have a fairly mild winter though.

[Tev]

Fuck you I'm taking the fatbirdasauruses for my army then. Those big pointy teeth can't do shit when they're choking on a full foot of floof. Plus who do you think's gonna hold out once Winter finally comes?You can't have our fatbirdasauruses. I was just pointing out that we don't draw on their talents for military service. Their skills are much better put to use as good-will ambassadors. A service you'll not be entitled to when your wings lay in tatters and your dragonfire oozes from your wounds onto the cold ground to warm my claws.....princess-breath. :mad:

[mauve]

@Shyria-I'm pretty sure about 75% of the kaiju on Monster Island are dinosaurs and the rest are aliens or mutants. So if we're gonna get technical here, your avatar and most of the reptillian denizens of chibi Godzilland belong to Tev's army. You can maybe claim King Ghidora since he has dragon wings, but that's it.

Also we're taking Mechagodzilla.

[Flarecobra]

Well, I see there's only one course of action.

https://41.media.tumblr.com/e1dc6f555fba4abd6844f12a5f6984d8/tumblr_nnj683hBAA1ru89vdo1_540.jpg

Extermipillownautus. It is the only answer.

[MSperoni]

Actually if we're going to get technical, the reptilian monsters of Monster Island would probably side with their fellow reptiles. Which is to say: the dragons.

Dinosaurs are warm blooded birds now. Birds aren't reptiles. At best, the bird army of Tev would get Mothra, but since I think birds eat moths, that probably won't happen either.


Has anyone actually spoken to a representative of Monster Island? I don't think they've chosen a side and it's probably unwise to speak for them.


Also Mauve, are you sure your Fallen Empire has the resources to operate or maintain Mechagodzilla? I'm not sure what you can do with him aside from making him a fancy lawn decoration.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

*Comes out with fine coffee and snacks* I have here food we can munch on while we discuss the eternal universe around us. But the stipulation is that we must stop drawing swords and lines in the sand.

[MSperoni]

Daimou, you're a respectable man of peace. Go to Monster Island and find out where they stand in this war.


You can use one of these old frigates I took from Snake when his Republic collapsed.

Had to seize his assets, you know. Ruling is expensive.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

For me to travel to Monster Island to ask their stand would put me in the perilous position of me actively stating where I stand. The fallen Republic of Snake would see it as me trying to vy for the weakening Mauve Empire while the State of Trans*ylvania would see it as an act of aggression and spur their people into war against me.

That's not saying what Clan Draconir would do to me...

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Tev if you're going to take the kaiju, at least go all-in and take Minya as well.

Seriously I will pay YOU to get that creepy little fuck out of here.

[Tev]

We'll put him in the playpen with Godzookie.

[RobinStarwing]

Can't we all get along? Get your 360's out people and get WoT for it...let's run 5-man TOG Platoons!

[MSperoni]

I don't own a 360.

Also I've been told Monster Island is trying to maintain neutrality. They have always been isolationists, and they refuse to be dragged into a war. They have a sustainable environment and need nothing from the outside...unless one of them swims to Tokyo or somewhere to smash a building or two.

That's their culture. Don't assume your values apply to them.

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

The Kaiju are truly wise. I should relocate there to discuss philosophy

[RobinStarwing]

The Kaiju are truly wise. I should relocate there to discuss philosophy

I and the HMS Princess (http://i44.tinypic.com/2q9exbl.png) will join you. You can sit on her back as we make our way to Monster Island...slowly.

EDIT: Pity the poor chaps that decide to attempt to halt our advance. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wiENQMc9g8)

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I and the HMS Princess (http://i44.tinypic.com/2q9exbl.png) will join you. You can sit on her back as we make our way to Monster Island...slowly.

EDIT: Pity the poor chaps that decide to attempt to halt our advance. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wiENQMc9g8)

Do you not believe that bringing a tank to an island of Kaiju could be seen as an act of aggression?

[RobinStarwing]

Do you not believe that bringing a tank to an island of Kaiju could be seen as an act of aggression?

But it is a TOG. TOG is a gentle creature being a Herd Animal. It want's to protect Kaiju as Kaiju are it's friends. :)

[MSperoni]

What could possibly go wrong?!

Daimou and Robin on a journey of peace to monster island.

Let's hope there are no ulterior motives involved...

[RobinStarwing]

What could possibly go wrong?!

Daimou and Robin on a journey of peace to monster island.

Let's hope there are no ulterior motives involved...

There are none. TOG does not have Ulterior motives. TOG wants to make friends. TOG will protect friends from all enemies, especially the evil Red Team. Watch this short Documentary of TOG in his Natural Habitat, The Unlimited Tank Works. Watch as TOG works to nuture and protect what it can of it's Green Army friends from the evils of the Red Team.

jFW12olv_og

[Shyria Dracnoir]

Besides, Monster Island has their own ace in the hole

3FS4Q4ANkvY

[RobinStarwing]

Besides, Monster Island has their own ace in the hole

3FS4Q4ANkvY

Ultraman, Godzilla, and TOG II...a combination of pure WIN!

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

Perhaps Ultraman is a purveyor of Philosophy

[MSperoni]

What about Jet Jaguar?

[Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope]

I see him reciting Taoist Philosophy. He is welcome to join. Keep the war away and bring peace, that is all I ask

[MSperoni]

okay so Daimou, Robin, Jet, and that tank thing goes to Monster Island on a Mission of Philosophy.

Who is left in charge of the Temple in the foothills of Bullshit Mountain while Daimou is away. Hopefully it won't get raided.

Meanwhile I can already see the trails of smoke and dragonfire gathering over Semen Valley...

Looks like the first of many battles between Shyria and Tev are about to begin. Whoever has control over Semen Valley gains a very strong position when it comes to control over NPF.

I've yet to hear much from Mauve and Snake. I think Terex is still picking up the pieces in the wake of the Taco Town destruction...

[Flarecobra]

You forget about the looming threat in space. :)

[Arhra]

Hello.

Did you start a war without me?

[tacticslion]

Hello.

Did you start a war without me?

Several, it seems.

EDIT: Hey, everybody, I stand by my previous statement.

[RobinStarwing]

okay so Daimou, Robin, Jet, and that tank thing goes to Monster Island on a Mission of Philosophy.

Who is left in charge of the Temple in the foothills of Bullshit Mountain while Daimou is away. Hopefully it won't get raided.

Meanwhile I can already see the trails of smoke and dragonfire gathering over Semen Valley...

Looks like the first of many battles between Shyria and Tev are about to begin. Whoever has control over Semen Valley gains a very strong position when it comes to control over NPF.

I've yet to hear much from Mauve and Snake. I think Terex is still picking up the pieces in the wake of the Taco Town destruction...

Princess is a gentle, shy creature slow to anger but will debate philosophy.

Word of such a war though makes her nervous and reminds her of the constant struggle between the Green Team and Red Team in the lands of Unlimited Tank Works. :( All she wants is to be a gentle Herd Tank.

But it might seem the evil Red Team has come seeking more places to wage their endless war.

cphNpqKpKc4

[Overcast]

Hello.

Did you start a war without me?

To be fair I considered that as soon as I brought the RP into the mix that I figured you'd be sitting in the far background. Considering the foreground with a look of calm menace. Very Gendo Ikari.

[mauve]

I've yet to hear much from Mauve [...] Oh, I'm still here. I intend to watch the epic battle on the IMAX in my island War Room. The mai tais they serve there are out of this world.

[phil_]

Who is left in charge of the Temple in the foothills of Bullshit Mountain while Daimou is away. Hopefully it won't get raided.Free temple, cool. Is there Wi-Fi?

[RickZarber]

Somebody sum up the current state of things; I have no idea what's happening anymore. This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head. Y'know?

[tacticslion]

Somebody sum up the current state of things; I have no idea what's happening anymore. This is a very complicated case. You know, a lotta ins, a lotta outs, a lotta what-have-yous. And, uh, a lotta strands to keep in my head. Y'know?

Mauve declared herself sovereign on her birthday.

Tev submitted and became a dinosaur army.

Daimo submitted and became a philosopher/pacifist. He admitted to not liking bacon, however.

Snake challenged for a republic. Sort of successful? Then it fell-ish.
(Oh, hey, Snake: thought of you (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhjk5x54bsE). Hope you like it. {It's a YouTube link, but a video in the middle of this post would be weird. I'll probably re-post it later, and more "properly" after someone else posts.})

Revolving Ocelot rejected everyone somewhere in there.

Overcast noted the RP section was doing it's own thing. Sort of. They are separate yet subservient. But also independent, yet in solidarity. Kind of.

Intern Nin declared himself the Judge of the new leadership (and was immediately overthrown?).

Terex decided to throw her lot in with herself. (She briefly won, due to tacos.) She (briefly?) held the support of Snake due to Mauve's use of the royal we. Everything ended in (dragon) fire and pie.

Synch proved more competent than any to date.

Robin suggested that he rule for a day.

I wished everyone a belated birthday.

Shyria decided to become her own dragon army and has been facing off against Tev ever since. Also Tev is apparently a birdosaur.

Flare decided to pillow-nuke everything from orbit.

Daimyo, Shyria, and Robin (though it's weird how and why he's there... with tanks, suspiciously enough) decided to make a peace-envoy to the island of monsters. Tev agreed with this, so long as Minya was destroyed.

That's about where we are at present.

Oh, that, and Matt has secretly* been egging everyone on and ensuring that the conflict continues and destabilizes governments as soon as they seem stable. Or at least declaring such.

* Notsomuch.

[Solid Snake]

Oh, that, and Matt has secretly* been egging everyone on and ensuring that the conflict continues and destabilizes governments as soon as they seem stable. Or at least declaring such.

If you're wondering why this all seems to be an orgasmic experience for Speroni, you only need remember that the dude's the world's biggest Dynasty Warriors fan.

Also, GUESS WHO'S BEST FACTION WU:


SNAKE REPUBLIC: Better Red than Dead (http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/dynastywarriors/images/8/8a/Dynasty_Warriors_4_Artwork_-_Sun_Shang_Xiang.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121114005622)

---------- Post added at 07:25 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:18 PM ----------

Also Speroni DW4 Sun Shang Xiang is totally my Waifu and not yours bro, you'll have to find another gorgeous spunky short-haired fighter from the series who's half as great as her, WAIT A MINUTE NO SUCH CHARACTER EXISTS

[Revising Ocelot]

Still on everyone's side.

I'm not on your side! There are no sides! You have a one-dimensional dot! And I have a separate dot! I shall suck out their souls of anybody who strays in my dot and add them to my collection. I have a really good pile of souls now, they're cute. They like treats and sit on the keyboard, my souls.

[Solid Snake]

I've also unilaterally decided that Terex is Shu and Mauve Mage is Wei

...Also: Speroni is clearly Jin. I see you waiting on the sidelines there, Speroni. Playing each side off each other just to declare victory at the end and establish a tyranny. Yeah, I know your type.

And Synk is Lu Bu, of course.

[Revising Ocelot]

Having never played Dynasty Warriors I only know who Lu Bu is, and to not pursue him.

Which is strange, actually. From UK forums I've been on whenever a new Dynasty Warriors game comes out there a large bunch of people that appear and say things along the lines of OMG I REMEMBER THESE FROM PS1 SO AWESUM. And then... nobody actually buys it. The one PS1 I got to try had Driver. With a save file past that tutorial mission, so it was actually pretty good.

[MSperoni]

Man, don't even begin to get into RTK with me or else you'll get schooled so hard it'll make your head spin.

Also Lu Bu wan't that great.


Wei is the best kingdom but Shu is my fave. I even have a little Guan Yu statue up on my shelf :)

you'll have to find another gorgeous spunky short-haired fighter from the series who's half as great as her, WAIT A MINUTE NO SUCH CHARACTER EXISTS


Xing Cai, Wang Yi, Lu Lingqi are pretty good since Sun Shang Xiang isn't as cool as she used to be.

[mauve]

Man, don't even begin to get into RTK with me or else you'll get schooled so hard it'll make your head spin.

Also Lu Bu wan't that great.

EEEEEEE SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS ABOUT ROMANCE OF THE THREE KINGDOMS IN A CONTEXT OTHER THAN DYNASTY WARRIORS! Speroni gets five points.

I'm cool with being Wei. I actually really like Tsao Tsao, and Zhang Liao is a badass.

[Solid Snake]

EEEEEEE SOMEONE ELSE WHO ACTUALLY KNOWS ABOUT ROMANCE OF THE THREE KINGDOMS IN A CONTEXT OTHER THAN DYNASTY WARRIORS! Speroni gets five points.


Now you're just sucking up because you want to rule again.