I will not accept any Twilight porno that is not named Sparklesnatch.

So is this like a joke or a serious question and the whole idea behind them just went fwoooooooooooooooosh over your head because I usually only have to make the fwooshing sound wen I talk to blues.

Serious question, even though yes, I got the joke. Vampire penis. Cold. Got that.

It's just that I've been around the internet enough to know that certain sex toys are in fact marketed for their ability to be both warmed and chilled. The chilled part I never got. The very concept of a woman jamming a frozen dong up in her seems akin to me humping an ice sculpture......which doesn't strike me as a good time.

Some people have kinks you don't understand Tevles, It's how shit works.

The opposite of this is why they existed before Twilight.

This depresses me as I understand a lot of kinks. :(

Is there really a difference?
 

Thanks for telling us you're a dirty perv. I mean, that horrible......aura of filth and foulness you give off would have told us, but thanks, I just thought it meant you were a wizard, but now I know.

If it makes you feel better my first assumption was that someone didn't get the Vampire-Cold Dick link before I thought someone didn't get Cold Dicks-Feel Nice link.

What can I say, we student Anthropologists are curious people.

And for the choose-your-own-adventure fans out there...

I think AdBot said it best:
"IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT; THE RAIN FELL IN TORRENTS, EXCEPT AT OCCASIONAL INTERVALS WHEN IT WAS CHECKED BY A VIOLENT GUST OF WIND THAT SWEPT UP THE STREET (FOR IT IS IN LONDON THAT OUR SCENE LIES). MY MOTHER WAS DRIVING ME TO THE AIRPORT WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED DOWN. THEN CAME THE VAMPIRES. THEN JOHN WAS A VAMPIRE.

I JUST SAVED YOU TWENTY BUCKS."

I hate you all, I really do. First Sparklesnatch now finding out about TevLev's pervy kink loving. You guys all suck!