How would YOU end the world?

Pip Boy · 01-13-2010, 07:14 PM

Bob the Mercenary's "catastrphic global meltwdown caused by laser" tabloid thread got me thinking. Even if that particular machine would never actually cause something like the end of the world, the Earth exists in a very delicate balance. If it tilts a little too much, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If the moon weren't in that particular rotation/position/size, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If we were about 10% closer to or farther from the son, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. Hell, at any given moment a quazar could just come out of nowhere and fuck our shit up.

Given, say, a few billion dollars to build whatever crazy contraption you would like, how would you herald the end of the world as we know it?

What'll it be? I'll concieved tampering with the earths bowels results in geological instability? Wheather machine accidentally cause A category fuck you hurricane? Slow down the moon's revolution just a bit so it'll come slowly crashing down on top of us? Lets hear it.

P-Sleazy · 01-13-2010, 07:58 PM

I would end the world by compulsorarily over populating it by forcing everyone over the age of 18 and before menopause (and the male equivalent age) to have continuous sex until impregnated, and then once pregnant the female could take a break, if she wishes, for a few months while she birthed and then shortly afterwards begin on the next child. The males during this time would move on to the next female to impregnate. Finally, every person over the age above listed ages of menopause (and male equivalents) would be responsible for raising and providing for all the breeding ages whilst the people between the ages of 13-18 will be our physical labor whilst the under 13 year olds will be in classes to learn about work and sex.

Finally, once the earth was so filled with humans that we literally fall off the land and into the water to drown. I find that the only survivors of this plan would be sea creatures as air born creatures would not have anywhere to land lest it be ontop of people procreating thier next child. On top of this, it would guarantee the fastest spread of STDs and AIDs as all forms of contraception and birth control would be banned.

Yes, a cruel ending to the human world that would be.

Dracorion · 01-13-2010, 08:02 PM

Clone Fifthfiend, make an army.

Meister · 01-14-2010, 08:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by B_real_shadows

by forcing everyone over the age of 18 and before menopause (and the male equivalent age) to have continuous sex until impregnated

You know, when you decided your plan would involve turning Earth into a planet-sized rape camp, you probably stepped out of any sphere of ethics where you'd still need to observe the age of consent.

Okay I get that someone needs to work but a little prepubescent child labour goes a long way.

Pip Boy · 01-13-2010, 08:01 PM

Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it?

EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there.

Flarecobra · 01-13-2010, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megaman FTW

Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it?

EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there.

Physics disagree with ya there.

Anyway, I'd pull some Wargames stuff, and hack into the Nuclear Launch Systems, and just fire them off, not really caring where they land. Just aim them in a random direction and let them fly. Then other countries would retalite, and MAD would occur.

The survivers would slowly meet their end as they struggle to make it though the nuclear winter.

Karrrrrrrrrrrresche · 01-13-2010, 08:24 PM

Flood of Cheeseburgers.

bluestarultor · 01-13-2010, 08:44 PM

I say it ends in ice. :p

Really, though, are we talking the end of the world or the end of humanity? The two aren't necessarily mutually inclusive. I say give it enough time and humanity ends both pretty effectively. All we have to do is keep doing what we are and global warming will eventually fry us, especially if we reduce particle emissions and stop blotting out the sun with global dimming. That should about unleash all the methane stored in the oceans and tundra and send us not just falling, but rocketing over the edge at breakneck speed into a fast death spiral.

Now, if we somehow manage to compensate with, I dunno, building a LOT of infrastructure really fast to save as many plants and animals as possible, humanity as a whole will probably be screwed, but a select few would survive and re-populate eventually, despite the loss of pretty much all wildlife. Highly unlikely, but I'll allow it.

In that case, the world is still pretty effectively ended. What with basically knocking the legs out from under the table.

Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope · 01-13-2010, 08:48 PM

Oh oh oh I know how to end humanity. Get a recording of all of Bluey's posts and record them to the masses. Mass suicide for all

Bluey ya know I am kidding right. We still cool.
:p

Hanuman · 01-14-2010, 09:14 PM

Hard question, I'd probably say that the best ending ever would probably be if the world suddenly got the same physics as Valhalla and every second hour (every first would be feasting) we play musical chairs, but instead of sitting down we'd have killing that feels like getting hit with 20lbs of awesome fun, and each city has one loser every hour that just doesn't get revived, everyone else pops back up, feasts, then we go back out and do it again and again until only two survive.

THEN

Everyone else raises back up and we have the most awesome tournament ever, then we have nationals and world wide, then we all fly to mars and blow up earth. Screw earth.

01-13-2010, 07:14 PM	#1
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	How would YOU end the world? Bob the Mercenary's "catastrphic global meltwdown caused by laser" tabloid thread got me thinking. Even if that particular machine would never actually cause something like the end of the world, the Earth exists in a very delicate balance. If it tilts a little too much, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If the moon weren't in that particular rotation/position/size, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If we were about 10% closer to or farther from the son, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. Hell, at any given moment a quazar could just come out of nowhere and fuck our shit up. Given, say, a few billion dollars to build whatever crazy contraption you would like, how would you herald the end of the world as we know it? What'll it be? I'll concieved tampering with the earths bowels results in geological instability? Wheather machine accidentally cause A category fuck you hurricane? Slow down the moon's revolution just a bit so it'll come slowly crashing down on top of us? Lets hear it. Last edited by Pip Boy; 01-13-2010 at 07:17 PM.

01-13-2010, 07:58 PM	#2
P-Sleazy Can Summon Sparkles by Posing! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Kinging it up! Posts: 2,339	I would end the world by compulsorarily over populating it by forcing everyone over the age of 18 and before menopause (and the male equivalent age) to have continuous sex until impregnated, and then once pregnant the female could take a break, if she wishes, for a few months while she birthed and then shortly afterwards begin on the next child. The males during this time would move on to the next female to impregnate. Finally, every person over the age above listed ages of menopause (and male equivalents) would be responsible for raising and providing for all the breeding ages whilst the people between the ages of 13-18 will be our physical labor whilst the under 13 year olds will be in classes to learn about work and sex. Finally, once the earth was so filled with humans that we literally fall off the land and into the water to drown. I find that the only survivors of this plan would be sea creatures as air born creatures would not have anywhere to land lest it be ontop of people procreating thier next child. On top of this, it would guarantee the fastest spread of STDs and AIDs as all forms of contraception and birth control would be banned. Yes, a cruel ending to the human world that would be. __________________ The King is your new master now. Totally returning for the Summer: a mafia Game: Sign ups HERE!

01-13-2010, 08:02 PM	#3
Dracorion Moves Like Jagger, Kupo! Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: To the south, a little to the left... Or to the right. Posts: 4,910	Clone Fifthfiend, make an army. __________________ Dracorion's dumbass color is Royal Blue. If you see that color, you better run the fuck away.

01-13-2010, 08:01 PM	#5
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it? EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there. Last edited by Pip Boy; 01-13-2010 at 08:05 PM.

01-13-2010, 08:48 PM	#9
Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope Definitely NOT a samurai Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Location: Wherever the wind leads me Posts: 5,347	Oh oh oh I know how to end humanity. Get a recording of all of Bluey's posts and record them to the masses. Mass suicide for all Bluey ya know I am kidding right. We still cool. :p __________________ Lost in the Music ~ On Hiatus Tales of a Torn World ~ World Building

01-14-2010, 09:14 PM	#10
Hanuman Love Is Strength Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Vancouver/BC/Canada Posts: 1,135	Hard question, I'd probably say that the best ending ever would probably be if the world suddenly got the same physics as Valhalla and every second hour (every first would be feasting) we play musical chairs, but instead of sitting down we'd have killing that feels like getting hit with 20lbs of awesome fun, and each city has one loser every hour that just doesn't get revived, everyone else pops back up, feasts, then we go back out and do it again and again until only two survive. THEN Everyone else raises back up and we have the most awesome tournament ever, then we have nationals and world wide, then we all fly to mars and blow up earth. Screw earth. __________________ If you want to stay connected send me a PM with your email.