How would YOU end the world?

Pip Boy · 01-13-2010, 07:14 PM

Bob the Mercenary's "catastrphic global meltwdown caused by laser" tabloid thread got me thinking. Even if that particular machine would never actually cause something like the end of the world, the Earth exists in a very delicate balance. If it tilts a little too much, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If the moon weren't in that particular rotation/position/size, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If we were about 10% closer to or farther from the son, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. Hell, at any given moment a quazar could just come out of nowhere and fuck our shit up.

Given, say, a few billion dollars to build whatever crazy contraption you would like, how would you herald the end of the world as we know it?

What'll it be? I'll concieved tampering with the earths bowels results in geological instability? Wheather machine accidentally cause A category fuck you hurricane? Slow down the moon's revolution just a bit so it'll come slowly crashing down on top of us? Lets hear it.

P-Sleazy · 01-13-2010, 07:58 PM

I would end the world by compulsorarily over populating it by forcing everyone over the age of 18 and before menopause (and the male equivalent age) to have continuous sex until impregnated, and then once pregnant the female could take a break, if she wishes, for a few months while she birthed and then shortly afterwards begin on the next child. The males during this time would move on to the next female to impregnate. Finally, every person over the age above listed ages of menopause (and male equivalents) would be responsible for raising and providing for all the breeding ages whilst the people between the ages of 13-18 will be our physical labor whilst the under 13 year olds will be in classes to learn about work and sex.

Finally, once the earth was so filled with humans that we literally fall off the land and into the water to drown. I find that the only survivors of this plan would be sea creatures as air born creatures would not have anywhere to land lest it be ontop of people procreating thier next child. On top of this, it would guarantee the fastest spread of STDs and AIDs as all forms of contraception and birth control would be banned.

Yes, a cruel ending to the human world that would be.

Pip Boy · 01-13-2010, 08:01 PM

Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it?

EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there.

Dracorion · 01-13-2010, 08:02 PM

Clone Fifthfiend, make an army.

Lost in Time · 01-13-2010, 08:05 PM

I was going to go the opposite way of B_real and create a perfect android mate for every person where they forget of real human mates until they die off.

Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope · 01-13-2010, 08:20 PM

Cancel WoW. Just straight up, cancel WoW. No reasons, no excuses.

Flarecobra · 01-13-2010, 08:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Megaman FTW

Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it?

EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there.

Physics disagree with ya there.

Anyway, I'd pull some Wargames stuff, and hack into the Nuclear Launch Systems, and just fire them off, not really caring where they land. Just aim them in a random direction and let them fly. Then other countries would retalite, and MAD would occur.

The survivers would slowly meet their end as they struggle to make it though the nuclear winter.

Karrrrrrrrrrrresche · 01-13-2010, 08:24 PM

Flood of Cheeseburgers.

Thadius · 01-13-2010, 08:42 PM

Not with a whimper, but with a big-ass bang.

First, I'd research and make a self-sufficient Ark-like ship. Into its memory banks I would download the sum knowledge of humanity. And then I'd work on the coolest weapon you ever did see.

I'd work on a weapon that would 'flip' half of the Earth through some crazy-ass Q dimension or what have you so that it would become Antimatter.

Before pushing the button I'd make sure that everything/one I wanted to save had been saved, push the time-delayed countdown that couldn't be canceled or stopped, blast off, and watch the Earth explode into light.

And of course I'd videotape the whole goddamn thing. Best special effects ever, of course you tape that!

Bob The Mercenary · 01-13-2010, 08:42 PM

root@god:~$ fdisk /dev/

01-13-2010, 07:14 PM	#1
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	How would YOU end the world? Bob the Mercenary's "catastrphic global meltwdown caused by laser" tabloid thread got me thinking. Even if that particular machine would never actually cause something like the end of the world, the Earth exists in a very delicate balance. If it tilts a little too much, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If the moon weren't in that particular rotation/position/size, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. If we were about 10% closer to or farther from the son, END OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT. Hell, at any given moment a quazar could just come out of nowhere and fuck our shit up. Given, say, a few billion dollars to build whatever crazy contraption you would like, how would you herald the end of the world as we know it? What'll it be? I'll concieved tampering with the earths bowels results in geological instability? Wheather machine accidentally cause A category fuck you hurricane? Slow down the moon's revolution just a bit so it'll come slowly crashing down on top of us? Lets hear it. Last edited by Pip Boy; 01-13-2010 at 07:17 PM.

01-13-2010, 07:58 PM	#2
P-Sleazy Can Summon Sparkles by Posing! Join Date: May 2004 Location: Kinging it up! Posts: 2,339	I would end the world by compulsorarily over populating it by forcing everyone over the age of 18 and before menopause (and the male equivalent age) to have continuous sex until impregnated, and then once pregnant the female could take a break, if she wishes, for a few months while she birthed and then shortly afterwards begin on the next child. The males during this time would move on to the next female to impregnate. Finally, every person over the age above listed ages of menopause (and male equivalents) would be responsible for raising and providing for all the breeding ages whilst the people between the ages of 13-18 will be our physical labor whilst the under 13 year olds will be in classes to learn about work and sex. Finally, once the earth was so filled with humans that we literally fall off the land and into the water to drown. I find that the only survivors of this plan would be sea creatures as air born creatures would not have anywhere to land lest it be ontop of people procreating thier next child. On top of this, it would guarantee the fastest spread of STDs and AIDs as all forms of contraception and birth control would be banned. Yes, a cruel ending to the human world that would be. __________________ The King is your new master now. Totally returning for the Summer: a mafia Game: Sign ups HERE!

01-13-2010, 08:01 PM	#3
Pip Boy Sent to the cornfield Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: A right and proper Nerd Cave Posts: 2,460	Wouldn't people... y'know.... just.. stop doin' it? EDIT: I think I'd hijack a Space Shuttle (Who would see it coming?) And then fly it into space with a nuclear weapon onboard. Take it to the moon and then plant the bomb on the side of the moon that leads its revolution. Detonating the bomb there will hopefully slow the moon enough that it begins to accelerate towards the earth until it finally comes crashing down. The best part is that it will be a slow sing towards the ground. Could take days, weeks, or even months of watching the moon slowly grow bigger and bigger as the tital patters turn to chaos and weather goes crazy until the moment of final impact. Some Majora's Mask shit right there. Last edited by Pip Boy; 01-13-2010 at 08:05 PM.

01-13-2010, 08:02 PM	#4
Dracorion Moves Like Jagger, Kupo! Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: To the south, a little to the left... Or to the right. Posts: 4,910	Clone Fifthfiend, make an army. __________________ Dracorion's dumbass color is Royal Blue. If you see that color, you better run the fuck away.

01-13-2010, 08:05 PM	#5
Lost in Time Fungus Among Us Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: On Your Nightstand Posts: 1,967	I was going to go the opposite way of B_real and create a perfect android mate for every person where they forget of real human mates until they die off. __________________ Eat me!

01-13-2010, 08:20 PM	#6
Daimo Mac, The Blue Light of Hope Definitely NOT a samurai Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Location: Wherever the wind leads me Posts: 5,347	Cancel WoW. Just straight up, cancel WoW. No reasons, no excuses. __________________ Lost in the Music ~ On Hiatus Tales of a Torn World ~ World Building

01-13-2010, 08:42 PM	#9
Thadius BEARD IMPACT Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: MANLY ANGER Posts: 1,977	Not with a whimper, but with a big-ass bang. First, I'd research and make a self-sufficient Ark-like ship. Into its memory banks I would download the sum knowledge of humanity. And then I'd work on the coolest weapon you ever did see. I'd work on a weapon that would 'flip' half of the Earth through some crazy-ass Q dimension or what have you so that it would become Antimatter. Before pushing the button I'd make sure that everything/one I wanted to save had been saved, push the time-delayed countdown that couldn't be canceled or stopped, blast off, and watch the Earth explode into light. And of course I'd videotape the whole goddamn thing. Best special effects ever, of course you tape that! __________________ ANGER HAS NEVER BEEN MORE MANLY THAN THIS.

01-13-2010, 08:42 PM	#10
Bob The Mercenary Bob Dole Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Bob Dole Posts: 5,606	root@god:~$ fdisk /dev/ __________________ Bob Dole