It's Been Entirely Too Long Since We Had A Three Wishes Thread

BB · 03-14-2015, 04:41 PM

So here's the deal- you're wandering your local desert, as you are wont to do, when you stumble upon a magic lamp. Being the sort who's heard the stories, you naturally give it a rub and a genie pops out. He's not one of these evil genies who wants to twist your wishes into grim, dark corruptions in order to teach you some macabre lesson- the monkey-paws salesman has that market cornered. This genie is legit. However, the rules have changed a lot since Aladdin’s days and the Genie Convention has decided to place a few restrictions on the wishes they can grant.

-The First Wish must be minor. On the small scale, affecting you or your local area in a small way. “I wish I always got the cereal box prize”? Totally fine. “I wish there were never queues at the local shop”? Acceptable. “I wish to never be in a traffic jam”? Maybe pushing it. World peace is totally out of the question.

-The Second Wish must be a selfish wish, affecting you directly. It can have an effect on others too, but it has to be primarily to your benefit. You can wish for something as grandiose as super powers if you want, but remember he's a genie, not a fantasy-make-truer. (Unless... you wish for that, I guess.) Point is, you still have to deal with the consequences of your wish in the real world. Being the richest person in the world sounds great until you factor in all the taxes.

-The Third Wish must conversely be selfless... To a degree at least, since a lot of selfless wishes will probably benefit you too, but it must be made with others in mind, or be of neutral effect to anyone generally (“I wish grass was purple” would qualify because you don't really gain anything from that). World peace goes here, but so does “everyone has super powers”. It doesn't have to be so large-scale of course- “I wish the library in town stayed open later” would definitely benefit the community! Similar to the second wish though, the consequences of the wish have to be dealt with in the real world. “I wish my significant other's favourite sports team always won” would count, but how long would that last before accusations of cheating arose? Can you imagine the state of internet message boards for, like, a month afterwards? Okay, no, you can't pick that one. Genie's prerogative.

There's a caveat, and he makes you sign in triplicate to ensure you understand. Over the centuries, genies all over the world have encountered no end of smartasses. They've heard every possible “more wishes” gambit, and know every permutation of the “don't grant this wish” trick. At the latest Genie Convention they agreed to add a clause to the Genieing Contract:

'Any genie, upon hearing a smartass answer, may choose to interpret it at their own discretion as “I wish every time I tried to talk, I burped instead”. '

He advises you to think carefully whether or not your answers are in the same spirit as the thread- er, I mean, offer.

Arhra · 03-14-2015, 07:43 PM

What if I wish for an intelligent talking donkey and give him the lamp after I'm done?

BB · 03-14-2015, 07:46 PM

The donkey must make his own post, or have it transcribed if hooves are a barrier to typing.

Shyria Dracnoir · 03-14-2015, 08:54 PM

1) I wish I always knew what to include on a cover letter/resume to guarantee consideration (not an auto hire, just enough so the hiring manager doesn't delete it or use it as toilet paper right away)

2) I wish my personal information was immune to any kind of unauthorized data mining or hacking that doesn't involve me personally. If I fall for a scam, it's still my fault, but if it's something like my bank or the amazon.com servers having their data stolen, my information is protected.

3) I wish every time Rush Limbaugh talked, he burped instead.

Amake · 03-14-2015, 10:14 PM

If I consider it a small effect on my local area that the stars of our local galaxy cluster have their lifespan multiplied a thousand times, will the genie consider my standards of scale or does everything have to be on his terms? Can I wish for the genie to be replaced by a slightly more useful genie?

Arhra · 03-14-2015, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babybahamut

The donkey must make his own post, or have it transcribed if hooves are a barrier to typing.

But will he get burps for wishes or not?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amake

If I consider it a small effect on my local area that the stars of our local galaxy cluster have their lifespan multiplied a thousand times, will the genie consider my standards of scale or does everything have to be on his terms? Can I wish for the genie to be replaced by a slightly more useful genie?

What if he does that by dumping a thousand times the fuel into every star? That would be bad.

phil_ · 03-14-2015, 11:15 PM

I wish wild animals would stay out of my and my neighbors' houses. Saves animals from dying horribly and saves me from having to clean mouse traps and herd ants.

I wish my debt was absolved. Solves basically every problem in my life.

And then world spanning selfless magic is too big a responsibility for me, so I'll wish that the next person to find the lamp makes the perfect third wish. Yeah, kicking that can down the road.

Amake · 03-15-2015, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arhra

What if he does that by dumping a thousand times the fuel into every star? That would be bad.

Very bad. Probably most stars would turn into black holes, and they'd tear each other apart with their increased gravity. Maybe the whole cluster would turn into some kind of radiation singularity that blasts the known universe into loose atoms. At the very least the supercharged stars would burn out much faster. Which would blatantly fail to fulfill my wish on any level, so if that's his solution he clearly doesn't know what he's doing, so I'd have to help him figure it out, so we'd need an in-depth discussion and maybe some experiments to determine the scope and direction of his power before I know what I can wish for. Sounds excellent.

BB · 03-15-2015, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amake

Can I wish for the genie to be replaced by a slightly more useful genie?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arhra

But will he get burps for wishes or not?

Oh, my apologies- I misunderstood! I get it now.

Overcast · 03-15-2015, 08:04 PM

1.)I wish I always knew the best thing to get at any restaurant I go to.
2.)I wish I was my practical image of a perfect being. I have selective perfect memory, endless capacity for knowledge, and have an intuitive capacity to learn new skills. I have total control over my gender and appearance even if it is impossible or alien. I cannot be harmed but I can make it appear that I have been, I can survive any environment(or absence thereof) comfortably, and while I still can do all of them I no longer need to eat, drink, breathe, sleep, or make waste of any kind. I cannot age in the conventional sense, but can simulate it using my body control. Finally I can appear to any point in space I desire immediately.
3.)I wish that a genius being who will solve all the worlds’ problems and lead us to a golden age of united humanity will be born tomorrow.

03-14-2015, 04:41 PM	#1
BB >-❥ Love Arrow, Shoot! ~💖 Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 677	It's Been Entirely Too Long Since We Had A Three Wishes Thread So here's the deal- you're wandering your local desert, as you are wont to do, when you stumble upon a magic lamp. Being the sort who's heard the stories, you naturally give it a rub and a genie pops out. He's not one of these evil genies who wants to twist your wishes into grim, dark corruptions in order to teach you some macabre lesson- the monkey-paws salesman has that market cornered. This genie is legit. However, the rules have changed a lot since Aladdin’s days and the Genie Convention has decided to place a few restrictions on the wishes they can grant. -The First Wish must be minor. On the small scale, affecting you or your local area in a small way. “I wish I always got the cereal box prize”? Totally fine. “I wish there were never queues at the local shop”? Acceptable. “I wish to never be in a traffic jam”? Maybe pushing it. World peace is totally out of the question. -The Second Wish must be a selfish wish, affecting you directly. It can have an effect on others too, but it has to be primarily to your benefit. You can wish for something as grandiose as super powers if you want, but remember he's a genie, not a fantasy-make-truer. (Unless... you wish for that, I guess.) Point is, you still have to deal with the consequences of your wish in the real world. Being the richest person in the world sounds great until you factor in all the taxes. -The Third Wish must conversely be selfless... To a degree at least, since a lot of selfless wishes will probably benefit you too, but it must be made with others in mind, or be of neutral effect to anyone generally (“I wish grass was purple” would qualify because you don't really gain anything from that). World peace goes here, but so does “everyone has super powers”. It doesn't have to be so large-scale of course- “I wish the library in town stayed open later” would definitely benefit the community! Similar to the second wish though, the consequences of the wish have to be dealt with in the real world. “I wish my significant other's favourite sports team always won” would count, but how long would that last before accusations of cheating arose? Can you imagine the state of internet message boards for, like, a month afterwards? Okay, no, you can't pick that one. Genie's prerogative. There's a caveat, and he makes you sign in triplicate to ensure you understand. Over the centuries, genies all over the world have encountered no end of smartasses. They've heard every possible “more wishes” gambit, and know every permutation of the “don't grant this wish” trick. At the latest Genie Convention they agreed to add a clause to the Genieing Contract: 'Any genie, upon hearing a smartass answer, may choose to interpret it at their own discretion as “I wish every time I tried to talk, I burped instead”. ' He advises you to think carefully whether or not your answers are in the same spirit as the thread- er, I mean, offer. __________________ Twit - Tumbl - T...Steam

03-14-2015, 07:43 PM	#2
Arhra Ara ara! Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Neo Venezia Posts: 5,013	What if I wish for an intelligent talking donkey and give him the lamp after I'm done? __________________ This post is a good source of Ara ara, ufufu.* *These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This post is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

03-14-2015, 07:46 PM	#3
BB >-❥ Love Arrow, Shoot! ~💖 Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 677	The donkey must make his own post, or have it transcribed if hooves are a barrier to typing. __________________ Twit - Tumbl - T...Steam

03-14-2015, 08:54 PM	#4
Shyria Dracnoir Kawaii-ju Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Monster Island Posts: 4,240	1) I wish I always knew what to include on a cover letter/resume to guarantee consideration (not an auto hire, just enough so the hiring manager doesn't delete it or use it as toilet paper right away) 2) I wish my personal information was immune to any kind of unauthorized data mining or hacking that doesn't involve me personally. If I fall for a scam, it's still my fault, but if it's something like my bank or the amazon.com servers having their data stolen, my information is protected. 3) I wish every time Rush Limbaugh talked, he burped instead. __________________ Godzilla vs. Gamera (1994)

03-14-2015, 10:14 PM	#5
Amake Keeper of the new Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: A place without judgment Posts: 4,506	If I consider it a small effect on my local area that the stars of our local galaxy cluster have their lifespan multiplied a thousand times, will the genie consider my standards of scale or does everything have to be on his terms? Can I wish for the genie to be replaced by a slightly more useful genie? __________________ Hope insistent, trust implicit, love inherent, life immersed

03-14-2015, 11:15 PM	#7
phil_ Just sleeping Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: At home, probably in bed. Posts: 6,482	I wish wild animals would stay out of my and my neighbors' houses. Saves animals from dying horribly and saves me from having to clean mouse traps and herd ants. I wish my debt was absolved. Solves basically every problem in my life. And then world spanning selfless magic is too big a responsibility for me, so I'll wish that the next person to find the lamp makes the perfect third wish. Yeah, kicking that can down the road. __________________ Be T-Rexcellent to each other, tako.

03-15-2015, 08:04 PM	#10
Overcast Cinderella Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Trespassing in the graveyard Posts: 3,076	1.)I wish I always knew the best thing to get at any restaurant I go to. 2.)I wish I was my practical image of a perfect being. I have selective perfect memory, endless capacity for knowledge, and have an intuitive capacity to learn new skills. I have total control over my gender and appearance even if it is impossible or alien. I cannot be harmed but I can make it appear that I have been, I can survive any environment(or absence thereof) comfortably, and while I still can do all of them I no longer need to eat, drink, breathe, sleep, or make waste of any kind. I cannot age in the conventional sense, but can simulate it using my body control. Finally I can appear to any point in space I desire immediately. 3.)I wish that a genius being who will solve all the worlds’ problems and lead us to a golden age of united humanity will be born tomorrow. __________________ Time to bust out the glow sticks!