Colgate Total Plus Whitening is pretty much the best toothpaste

[Geminex]

See this is what drives me nuts about the "Total" nomenclature, Total should just mean total, like that should be the maximum dental cleanliness coverage a toothpaste can have. There shouldn't have to be a Total Advanced I gotta worry about buying, Total itself should already incorporate the totality of advancements in toothpaste technology.

Dude, you're thinking too small. It says "Total". It doesn't say "Epitome of dental hygiene". It says "Total". It should, by rights, include everything there ever was and will be, universes past and future.
Big Bangs every time you brush!