The Will

[Terex4]

I would donate one million to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster so the church could fulfill its dream of building a pirate ship as a mobile missionary base.

In case that doesn't count as a charity, I would donate 2 million to breast cancer research because my wife would kill me if I don't and another 2 million to buying U Hauls for people who live in countries where no food exists.

I would use the remaining 3 mil to buy myself a bitchin pirate costume and pimping out the pirate ship with cannons, booze, and pinball machines.