How much alcohol does it take to bring Fifthfiend back?

[Eldezar]

Subtitle - Or to forget about him entirely.

sober:

So I was wondering why I hadn't seen a post from Fifthfiend in awhile, then all of a sudden somebody mentioned he had left. I'm all, WTF, that's not right. Surely he's still around, I just haven't lurked enough to notice him.

Sure enough, looking at Fifth's history, the last thing he posted was ridiculing me on my misuse of the period, or lack thereof. I find this to have been a poor departure on his part. The jackass didn't even say goodbye. What, he thinks he can just waltz around here all high and mod-like? So proud? So cock-sure? Prancing aboot with his head full of eyeballs.

No. No, FUCK YOU, Fifth. We're glad you're gone. You're an ass. I haven't hated anyone more since my mom roasted my gecko when she forgot to buy the correct light bulb after the first burnt out.

I loved that little gecko. I named him Gex after the video game. Sure, he never let me hold him, and always tried to run away when I cleaned his cage, but he was a cool little guy. So cute in his little tuxedo, trying to use the remote. He didn't do nothing, just hid under his rock. Almost never saw him. Stupid gecko, wasn't worth nothing. I'm glad you fried; like a wet child with a paper clip next to a toaster.

Anyways, this thread is to commemorate Fifthfiend, or to forget him with lots of booze, like a bad country song.

Also, I do not yet have enough alcohol for this venture. Presently:

2 bottles of Captain Morgan's Pirate Bay, Mojito
1/2 bottle of Kahlua
1/2 bottle of very diluted vodka
1/2 jug of Carlo Rassi, Paisano (grape wine)

So, I am off to get a little bit more depressant to wallow in the delight that is not Fifthfiend's presence, and I invite you all to join me. How many drinks will I need to stop caring that Fifthfiend is gone and wonder why the hell my pants are soggy?

Just getting started:

So, I went out to add another drink, Amaretto Silk. Looked interesting.

Also have snacks, so that hopefully I will remember to eat after awhile.

You know what's good about snow is that when you take the shopping cart to your vehicle, the snow stops it from sliding away. It's great.

snow sucks.

So, if I'm not too hungover tomorrow, I am going to be building a snow castle on the grounds of my college campus. We have been closed all week because of snow, and had two days off last week as well.

Ok, I have already forgotten where my sandwich went, cuz I definitely don't remember eating it. Fifthfiend stole my sandwich, you all saw him. demand a recount.

1 bottle of mojito down

Anyways, I need volunteers to do some slave work for me and build a snow sphinx in my likeness. Ireally hope I'm not too lazy to get it done, cuz I have been thinking about this all week and have been cooped up and only just today shoveled my driveway. There's so mucyh snow I could buld a cone.

So, Fifth. What has he really done for us? He mocks us, calls a bad names. Gives people fake bans, and then gives them a real ban for bitching about the fake ban. Then when you come back, he fake bans you again jsut to remind you that he's his bitch. Damn this mojito is good

You remember that velociraptor? It was in a fucking cheerleading outfit. I remember what he said when he got it, 'This is me." So he is a scaly, 6 billion year old fossil who likes to cross dress and has a thing for indiana jones ripoffs. that's ridiculous. Grow a larynx you fucking bird of prey.

time to piss. enjoy. I'll dfinish the last mojito on the way